My 4 yr old son refusing to go to the toilet

[rosita01]

My son who was toilet trained at 2 years 8 months has been clean and dry with very few accidents for last year and 2 months. 6 weeks ago he had a slight stomach bug which we think left him constipated (he couldn't tell us) and was in pain.  Every since he has refused to go the toilet.  He holds his poo for up to 4 days at a time, and by day three he is really uncomfortable and in so much pain but is still refuses to go.  It is heart breaking seeing him like this as he is such a happy boy but by day 3 he is miserable and not himself.  We have tried various methods to help i.e. being sympathetic, hard core keeping him on the toilet, bribing him with chocolate or telly if he sits on the loo but we are now so fed up with the situation we have kind of given up on trying to help him as he won't seem to help himself.  We have seen a doctor who has prescribed him movicol but still he refuses to go.  My mother-in-law thinks there is something medically wrong with him and wants me to send him to a paediatrician but I think it is all in his mind

[jemma116]

Ask your son quietly if it hurts him to go the toilet.  If it is still hurting when he uses the toilet, he will need to see the doctor again so that the doctor can prescribe a child version of Proctosedyl or something similar so that when he poops his anus will not hurt so much.

The Movicol keeps the moisture in the faeces, so if the faeces are still hard, you may need to get your son to drink more of the Movicol.  There is a maximum dose that he can take and that will be on the packet instructions.  Make sure that he drinks plenty of water and juices.  His faeces may be hard if he is not having enough water and roughage.

Keep him off sugary and processed foods and give him fruit to eat.  Apples, grapes, oranges, strawberries, blueberries etc. or his favourite fruit.


Unfortunately, children can have emotional problems and deliberately hold on and not go to the toilet.  It is quite common for a child not to go even if he does get an urge because they do not want to miss out on anything.
If you do see him wriggling about, be firm and tell him to go to the loo.  Tell him that if he does not go when he gets a feeling, then it will get hard and will hurt more.  

Best of luck.

[AnnieBrooke]

Honey, he has encopresis.  He's also only 4, why are you so set that he is being willful and defiant, when he has a dysfunctional colon?  Please look up "encopresis," and pay strong attention to the point that a person trying to get well from this has to take a fiber supplement *every day* for up to a year, so their colon can heal and begin to compress naturally again.  Of course he will be "holding" now, since it hurts to poop!

Please see the pediatrician, and ask for a referral to a pediatric gastroenterologist if the pediatrician seems to think it is nothing or to casually offer that he should get onto a laxative or stool softener.  He should be checked (maybe x-rayed) to see how much impacted stool is in his lower intestine (sometimes kids get so much it backs up as high as their upper abdomen) and the doc should be sure it is cleaned out, before you start anything to soften the stool, lest there be a big amount of liquid stool blocked by a lump of solid stool.  

Please take this seriously, it is a medical problem, and the colon is not functioning properly, and it needs to be addressed so the colon can heal.  Don't assume your son is being defiant, he is in pain.