WELCOME TO THE STORY OF MY LIFE.
So basically, the story started at the end of highschool. The major highschool results released YAY everyone’s happy to know their marks, whereas i would be the girl to not even look at the mark because i put in barely any effort to attempt these exams. My goal wasn't even to go to university/college. Anyway, i had to face the truth and i completely failed to even go college. I would lay in bed and cry(as if it's the end of the world" because my mom would continually ask me "HEY WHAT MARK YOU GET" and i would cover myself in a blanket and cry "I DONT KNOW". Anyhow, the next day i applied into Diploma and WOO i got in but not the course i wanted...So i accepted this offer in this college anyway and did the diploma of computer science. I would feel so nervous because i was the only girl in the class, i feel left out. Luckily a guy came up to me and we became good friends. One computer class lesson I noticed him coughing, its not like sick cough its like a 1 sec clearing of his throat. I thought there was something wrong with him, because he was the only guy in my class that coughed. Anyway, everyday in that college i would feel stressed because i didn't want to go college and do this course but my parents made me do it. Okay, so i realised this course wasn't for me so i applied for a different university, and surprise, i got in. So now in the new college, i made some friends that are girls, i realised that the girl kept drinking water whenever im there. And on the bus to uni i noticed the same pattern, girls would immediately grab their bottles from their bag. Now i realised something was wrong with me. AND yesterday morning things got ALOT worse.. because in class i would have the urge to keep swallowing my salvia (due to my anxiety) and i noticed that 4 guys infront of me coughed, now i got even more paranoid. So that day at night, i decided to calm myself, i laid on my bed and listened to music, i felt better until i realised things got alot worse..muscle ticks started on my leg and arm at the same time NON STOP, i had muscle spams before (but not so much) but after knowing more guys coughed because of me my heart decides to beat fast and A LOT worse nerve spasms, and migraines developed. Because I got so paranoid, on the bus to home I CAUGHT THE WRONG FRIGGIN BUS AND AT THE SAME TIME LOST MY BUS CARD! Okay so, Next day came, things legit got ALOT worse and i mean it. There were 11 guys in my class, 5 guys sat infront of me and would constantly cough and so did the one next to me. I think my anxiety went from 0-100 immediately, when i noticed people around me would constantly cough because of me and girls 5metres away from me would cover their nose, im pretty sure it wasn't my breathe cause breathe doesn't travel that far immediately right? AND SO TODAY i went online and searched " people coughing around me" and i found this forum, i am legit surprised and not paranoid anymore because i thought it was just me being CRAZY. I am relieved to have found this forum, because i realised most of what you guys wrote related to me. I also think how PATM exists is because of anxiety. Therefore, in order to cure this i think its best to see a doctor, so they can assess you on what medications to take, cause i tried going to these counsellor live chat, i said to them "help i have PATM" and they replied "what is PATM?" and im like "People allergic to me" and their like "Sorry, we only provide support and information on anxiety, depression and suicide" so yeah “F-HER” she thinks im crazy lol..but im not because i know you guys are experiencing this as well and that this is REAL. And i really doubt there is any cure out there right now but i think the best way is to calm yourself down (take deep breathes) its what i do and i think it helps, do what you like doing, and importantly eating healthy and drink lots of water. Just cause we have PATM, and im serious we are different to other people. I came to realise that this PATM is like MAGIC, of how one person without doing anything can make one or many people cough haha sorry just a weird thought. So, yeah Don't let this drown you down, because if you can look up you can get up, DONT GIVE UP. Because right now im not gonna let this make me do any self-harm and neither should u. Cause i know we all have dreams we wanna accomplish, so lets fight it. And always stay positive and stop with this over analyzing of yourself because it will make PATM WORSE which is NOT healthy!! And yeah I can go forever with my story but its too long..and if you’re reading and experiencing this I hope u know you’re not the only one experiencing this, and if I find an effective cure, I will let you guys know for sure.
Take care
riri