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daughter missing school but OK at work
My 14 year old daughter has always been the anxious type and recently it has come to a head and seems to be evolving into panic attacks.  The symptoms are the worst in a school setting.  We are now at the point where she won't go to school.  She works her first part time job one night a week which she has been doing for the last 8 months and it has been great for her.  She is learning responsibility and money management.  She gets a little anxious lately about work but seems to be managing.  She would be devastated if I made her quit.  Her primary doctor reamed me and her out yesterday at a Dr. visit stating that she had no business working if she wasn't going to school.  If I make her quit I feel it will be sending her the message that she is being punished for something that she cannot help.  Any thoughts?  
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875426 tn?1325532016
Your daughter's education is not complete.  However, it's important to try to find out why she does not want to go to school.  Public school, if that's where she's been going, is one of the last places I would want to send my kids, if I had any.  Have you ever seen the documentary called IndoctriNation?  The pressure on kids in those schools is overwhelming.  Since she is getting the socialization of working, why not give her the opportunity to home school for the remainder of high school?  That's what I graduated from.  
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4851940 tn?1385441629
It is important for your daughter to finish her education.

If going to work in the evenings is making her too tired for school, perhaps considering reducing the hours of work may be a good idea to allow her sufficient sleep and rest time.

I would ask her questions what is bothering her at school.  She may be bullied at school and if this is the case  it needs to be addressed and sorted out.  Otherwise she will quit work at the first sign of any unhappiness when she gets older.

You must stress to her that her first priority is school and school work, and that work comes second.  It could be that she likes the independence of getting her own money.  If that is the case, perhaps you could give her some pocket money.

Do not allow her to miss school, it will make things much worse for her and for you as she gets older.  I have grown up children now and know what you are going through with a child wanting to miss school.  In my view, there is something not right that is making her so anxious not to go.
My son would have severe migraines with vomiting every Thursday - it turned out that the class played rugby on that day and he hated it.  We had to write to the school to excuse him from playing rugby and he was fine afterwards.  He too was bullied, and by standing up to his bully, they became best friends.

I do hope you get to the bottom of things.  Just ask her gently questions of what she does at school (when she's been), how her day went, who she interacted with etc.  If you get nowhere by speaking with your daughter, then go to the school and speak with her form tutor or the headmaster.  They may know what is going on.

Best wishes.
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