Hi everyone. After a long hard road I was blessed with a beautiful son Jan. 2010. I was extremely anxious throughout my entire pregnancy as I had miscarried 5 times prior to this pregnancy. After he was born the anxiety escalated to extremes. Even when he slept I couldn't convinced if I took my eyes off of him for a minute he would stop breathing. I obsessed about SIDS and spent hours researching it. It was awful. As time progressed, it didn't get better, it got worse. I would only sleep when my husband was home from work and only then after he promised me countless times not to take his eyes off of our son. I couldn't shake the feeling that something would take him away from me. When my little guy was about 7 weeks old he caught a bad cold and was briefly hospitalized as his poor little nose was so plugged he had a bit of trouble breathing. This pretty much pushed me over the edge. My family Dr. refered me to a physciatrist who diagnosed me with clinical depression, post partum onset. I am now on meds and also seeing him regularly. Now, there is no question I am feeling much better. The confusion comes in that during all that time I never actually felt depressed. I enjoyed him, functioned normally in terms of taking care of him, never had any suicidal thoughts or anything. So I am confused as to how this can be depression....I wonder, has anyone else had ppd manifest itself this way? Thanks for all and any input, I appreciate it. Amanda
I had post partum with my first son. It NEVER affected my relationship with my son but it sure affected my attitude with everything else including my husband. They put me on meds and it took a good 6 months to feel normal again. That is AFTER they got my meds straight. They keep switching and increasing. I was on 4 pills of Prozac/daily (totallty nuts). My depression was getting worse and it took time. It took about 6 months with drugs and counseling.
You very well may not have felt depressed but I can see the anxiety being manifested this way. Well, I know you said you were anxious the entire pregnancy. What I mean is that I can see, with everything you went through prior to having a full term pregnancy, how the anxiety could get worse after giving birth; for the same reasons PPD happens. Hormones...Plus you worked so hard to bring your little one into the world and everything changes once you bring new life into the world. All of a sudden you start thinking of every bad thing that can happen and you fear it will happen to your child. I think that is normal for most mothers to a certain degree. But again, with everything you went through prior to having your baby, I can certainly see where it might be worse for you.
I always get PPD after I have a baby. I have now had 6. I gave birth to number 6 in Sept. 09. I know it's coming every time. So I leave the hospital with a prescription in hand and we go straight to the pharmacy from the hospital. I DO get depressed. But it never affects my relationship with my baby. I am very nurturing and attentive to my baby. But I do get very depressed and cry a lot. I have trouble sleeping even though I am exhausted. I know it's from the hormones and I know it will pass. That is what gets me through it is knowing that it is only temporary. But it is still a very difficult time for me emotionally and I HATE going through it.
But like you said, you are feeling better and that is wonderful. Everyone who is affected by PPD or post partum issues of any kind, are affected differently and to different degrees. Some women just get "the blues". Some women get full blown depression. Some women have the suicidal thoughts, like you mentioned. Some don't want anything to do with their baby. And some feel anxiety instead of depression. It is different for everyone. I am just glad you are feeling better. And I couldn't be happier that you finally have your baby. I mean that from the bottom of my heart :)
Thanks so much for the insight and information. I guess the important thing is that I am feeling more like myself now and am much happier. It's interesting...while I was still in the midst of this (prior to starting treatment) my little guy was much fussier. Not sleeping as well, cried more frequently. Since I started dealing with my anxiety, he is much more cheerful and calmer. Perhaps it's just an age thing, but I still think he sensed my anxiety and was reacting to it. Did you ever find that? Thanks again, I truly appreciate the response.
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