My wife and I got married in January of this year. By March I got stationed halfway across the world and of course she came with me. In April we found out she was pregnant. She had a high risk pregnancy the entire time and was put on bed rest. I am new to my command and had to carry the load at home as well. All I had was the light at the end of tunnel (having the baby). Three weeks ago we were blessed with a beautiful baby girl. My wife made the decision to breast feed which I fully supported. As time has gone by our daughters latch has gotten harder to attain. She seems to prefer the bottle
And my wife seems to be hurt, depressed, and frustrated. I feel like nothing I can do for her is the right thing and I feel like Im the root of her depression. This last year has been really hard on the both of us and I do truly love her but I know that divorce has crossed her mind many times. I dont want her to feel like shes inadaquate or depressed or a bad mom cause she truly isnt. She is a great mom. I need advice on helping us grow into a strong married couple and parents. Thanks
I remember when I could not get my little girl to latch; it had to be one of the hardest times that I have went through. You get the feeling of failing and its very hard to cope with but eventually you come within terms and except it (or at least from my experience i did) I would cry and cry because I felt like I wasnt capable of doing it and because you hear all the time on how its the best way to bond with your newborn baby. The best thing you can do is just reassure her that she is doing a great job at putting in the effort regardless if baby takes or not. Having that support will help. And reassure her that not all babies commit to breast feeding and that some times it is easier for baby to take a bottle.
For the latch problem, I suggest not offering the bottle for a while. Some babies do just find doing both from the beginning, but some babies (when offered the bottle too soon), will start rejecting the breast, and yes, it will affect the latch. The bottle is much easier for the baby because they don't have to work for it. It is really best not to offer the bottle until the baby is about 4-6 weeks old.
You wife may also be suffering from PPD and the latching problems could be contributing to that or at least, making it worse. I do think the latching problems will be taken care by not offering the bottle for a while.
I hope you can both work out your problems though. These first few months of parenthood are very tough, but they will pass. They won't stay this little forever so just try to keep that in mind...both of you should keep that in mind.
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