Postpartum Depression (PPD) Community
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Need Support

Will it ever get better? My daughter is 7 weeks old and I feel like I am going crazy with all the issues that I am dealing with. I feel like I should hardly complain since my daughter basically only cries when hungry or tired, I was able to train her to sleep most of her hours at night (although she is still not sleeping through the night), and that she is healthy in general. I planned to become pregnant after being married for 7 years and completing graduate school. I feel like I got used to living independently and working on building a career. I love my daughter. On those days that I am exhausted beyond belief, I still miss her the minute I am away from her. I definitely miss my sleep! I did not appreciate my sleep before and wow is it important! You would think that evolution would be on our side on this one so that we can function and become physically more capable of taking care of our kids. I feel like I am being selfish at times trying to get my baby to sleep at a certain time and to get her on a schedule even though this works to her advantage as well. It's just so difficult being a parent when you are so career minded and even though I would never trade her for anything in the world, I feel like a bad parent especially on those days when people mention that my daughter may look like my husband's side of the family which is a given, but I feel less connected to her. It's been difficult for me dealing with the shock of parenting a newborn, from the plethora of advice that one receives from both sides of the family which makes me want to pull my hair out. Dealing with maternity leave,knowing that I have to go back to work soon, feeling like I can't wait to go back to get a break and get into work that I like and feeling guilty about this because a part of me will be sitting there all day day dreaming about the days we spent together. I developed pp insomnia which is one of the worst things that could happen considering you are losing sleep as it is and am currently taking ambien so that i can at least catch up on some zzs. I miss being pregnant. I actually thought it was fun, the treatment and the whole preparation process. It was a whole new lifestyle. I even missed my routine for gestational diabetes although Im just saying this now and one day all of a sudden I am a mother. Like I said I love my baby. She is adorable and I love the way she ***** on my shoulder when I am burping her or when she discovered she can move her head enough to look into my face when I am burping her. A big part of me wishes she was only mine and that I didn't have to deal with my in-laws offering their advice that I don't feel like responding to or even using up the energy to ignore. I have a lot to deal with I guess (as most new moms do) with family, in-laws, physical recovery, grieving the loss of my previous life that will never be the same and having to return to work before I can fully absorb what hit me. I don't think we are prepared enough for this journey. Was there a program out there that was lengthy and thorough enough to attempt to prepare or make us aware of all of these things? I honeslty thought I was prepared and had some idea or knowledge of what might be coming, but still feel like I was hit by a truck. Everyone keeps saying wait and in a few months you will forget about this and will want to have another one (as I've mentioned to others I don't know how I will do this again). Anyway, I know I went on and on, but any support for me?
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134578_tn?1404951303
You might talk to your ob-gyn.  Maybe you're dealing with simple exhaustion, and maybe even to some extent with post-partum depression though you are finding things overwhelming rather than overtly sad.  It's normal to grieve when life changes, and finding someone to talk to about it is not unreasonable!  My ob-gyn department has a social worker whose job it is to counsel women, ask your ob if there is someone like this.  I recently went in for grief counseling related to infertility issues, and it was very helpful even though I had my doubts as to how much good she could do.  I also got put onto a very light dose of an antidepressant and it helped, and my nurse even prescribed something to help me sleep (not Ambien, but a tranquilizer that one takes as needed).  All of those things, in fact, helped.  You can't get it together emotionally if you are physically exhausted, and you can't really vent to your husband about his family, etc.  Reach out to your doc and go from there.  
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1731970_tn?1328090670
Hi, I understand it is huge. It does get better even if you think it doesn't. The changes are massive and some people take to it like a duck to water and others don't. Unfortunately when a baby comes everyone thinks they have the right advice. I would say to your inlaws that you are experiencing many changes and that you appreciate that they mean well you would prefer if they backed off a bit. The lack of sleep is unnerving at first. Don't try to keep the same sleep hours yiou used to sleep when baby sleeps. I felt like someone had taken the me out of me. I remember thinking wow is this why people kept on saying enjoy yourself while you are young. I now have four kids and i do remember feeling like you. You do get over it and it becomes a lifestyle. You realise that the life you had before didn't have anywhere as much meaning as this one does. You need to take it easy about having another one(I know everyone asks) you might only have the one and that is up to you. Don't let anyone judge you or make you feel bad about going back to work. You make your choices and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I think the biggest trap of becoming a parent is that we feel that people are judging us. As long as you your baby and your husband are happy and healthy. You don't need to put that pressure on yourself. Take care
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Avatar_f_tn
YOu sound exactly like me 11 years ago.   I have a 11 year old son.  He was a good baby but my depressiont hat I have battled my whole life went out of control.    
It will get better WITH the right meds.   I went through 3 doctors untill I finall begged the U of M research center for Depressiont o help me and all it took was the right pill.
You have to keep trying different meds.   I needed a tricyclic antidepressant and not just a SSRI.     My life is back to normal but I have to say it was a journey.
Hang in there.     You are not crazy........just dealing with a Chemical Imbalance that will get corrected.      I promise.
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