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PPD in second pregnancy "scared"
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PPD in second pregnancy "scared"

Hi there, I am now 20 weeks pregnant with a healthy baby boy..I had very, very bad PPD with my first pregnany, it was so bad that I did not want my daughter when she was born. I was ready to hand her over to any one that looked like they would make good parents, I spoke to the doc about it, and she gave me some Cilift...What I need to know is:"will I get it again with my little boy...???" I can not go through it again, it was the most horrible time in my life and when I think back at it I get scared all over..To think I would have given my child away because I did not understand what was going on with me..After I googled allot about PPD so now I know what it is about and what the symptoms are. I am just so scared that I will get it again, I'm not sure I would be able to handle it a second time...
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942918_tn?1276203756
Recognizing that a problem is real & exists in your life is half the battle to overcoming that problem. Try keeping a journal of when you have negative thoughts & then write down the positives to having your child. If the negative thoughts are not what you want lying around your home, make a habit of finding new & creative ways to destroy what you write down.

I had a lot of personal problems when I was pregnant with my daughter 10 years ago. I also had fears that I would lose the baby because I had already lost one & my mother has a history of miscarriage. In addition, my mother & my maternal aunt both had babies born with terminal defects. Neither of my maternal grandparents had any siblings that survived childhood so I had reasons for not wanting to get too excited about my baby.

The assumed father was an out-of-work drug addict that I had left only two weeks after the presumed conception date. I had started dating a new guy just the next week & things had moved really fast for us with him telling me that he was in-love with me only 1 week after we'd started dating. His family had money & mine did not so they did not approve. When I discovered a month later that I was pregnant the doctors said I was too far along for my new boyfriend to have fathered the baby. His family thought I was just trying to get money from them & my family didn't want his family to be near the baby since they disliked me & my family so much.

Well, we got married on the advice of his family lawyer & he signed the birth certificate with the presumed father's consent. Still, I was scared that he would leave & that my baby would someday discover the truth & hate me forever. After we left the hospital he took me home to stay awhile with his family & his mother took over caring for my baby. I didn't really mind since I had never felt connected to her & his mother seemed so glad to wisk my baby away at the mere hint of a cry. She continued to care for my daughter reguarly even after we had moved into our own home. A year later she was still the main caregiver for our daughter since we both worked full-time. Anytime I disapproved of anything she did or tried to suggest a different method, I was promptly met by my husband & in-laws with a reminder that I didn't know anything about being a parent & that my MIL did. I remember not wanting to go pick her up after work sometimes & telling my husband once that his mother should just keep her after I heard her answer when my daughter called for "Mommy". It took along time & a divorce five years later for me to bond with my daughter. (The divorce came with a DNA test that proved my spouse had indeed fathered my daughter so that mess worked itself out.)

I now know that I had PPD when I was pregnant the first time so when I got pregnant with my son I was determined not to let anything ruin my joy. Baby Daddy & I broke-up, he was arrested, he was put in a mental health facility to treat his depression & bi-polar, my family told me all the time that I'd never make it as a single mom of two kids, I almost miscarried twice, ect. Yet, I knew that I never wanted to feel about my son the way I once did about my daughter so I told myself everday to be happy & reminded myself of all the reasons to anticipate my new baby. I knew that no matter what, my children were my everything & that really, really got me through it. I never even once had a moment of PPD with my son so there's no reason to believe that you will either. :-)
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1047073_tn?1264674012
Hi, thanks for the pick me up...means allot, sounds like you had it difficult, I must say I take my hat off to you, wow you sound like an amazing women..Also going through the dad not involved and not here at the moment, so I all alone in my pregnancy and my little one sees him every now and again..She saw him today for a while but she always acts up when he leaves and then she is so difficult...I will keep on taking my meds every day, and the gynea said to me today that I can breastfeed on Cilift...Thank you so much for the advise...You must pls keep me updated on your pregnancy...Would like to keep in touch with you
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801496_tn?1262578977
I'm scared of the same thing!!! I am not pregnant yet with my second child but I know I will try soon. PPD is HORRIBLE, I wanted to give my son away too. I never dealt with wanting to kill him but I could NOT take care of him. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I felt like life was just a big black hole. I was crying constantly. I lost 30 pounds in a matter of weeks (I started out big). I went into my dr and she prescribed me zoloft and I feel like it saved me. I wouldn't have made it through without it. I was wondering if I should just ask for it right away the next time around. I don't know what the statistics say about whether you are more likely to get it the next time if you have had it in the past. I don't ever want to feel that way again!!!!!!!!!!!
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1047073_tn?1264674012
Hallo, how you felt with your first one is exactely how I felt with my first one, I never slept, never ate, also felt like I was in this big black hole, it was like I said the worst time of my life, I spoke to the doc and they said if you had it the first time you are more prone to get it the second time round as well...I don't want it again so the doc has put me on Cilift allready, she said to me I must take it with when I go in to hospital and I must not stop drinking it no matter what...YOu can go onto antideppressants while you are pregnant, I think you should start it early like me, but you can only start taking them in your second trimester round, be sure to keep it in mind...Pls keep me updated on when you will be trying to fall pregnant again, would like to keep in touch..!
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287246_tn?1318573663
Chances are that you could get PPD again, but I have known people that got it w/ one baby and not the other.  So, it could go either way.

I get it everytime I have a baby and I just had #6.  But I always know it's coming so I expect it.  I have heard that you can start taking anti-depressants before you even have the baby so you may want to ask your doc about that.  It takes 2 to 3 weeks for the medication to get in your system so maybe you could start taking it 2 to 3 weeks before you are due.  That may help.

I wish you the best of luck and just remember that you have support here w/ people that know how you feel!
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