My daughter is 10 weeks old. Up until the last week I've felt great. Last week when I confirmed with my work the exact date id be returning in a couple weeks I started to feel so sad. I know this is typical so I've been just trying to suck it up and get through it. But each day since then I've felt more and more sad about everything. I still feel very bonded to my baby. I just want to sit around the house all day and hold her and cry. A couple days I didn't even feel like showering and getting dressed. I had to force myself to do it because I was afraid it was a sign I was going looney toones. I'm also feeling a lot of pressure financially since its been over 3 months since I've worked. Could I possibly have post partum depression and should I talk to my OB about it or should I just wait it out and see how it goes after I get back into the routine of being back at work and receiving paychecks again?
I def think you could have some PPD as it takes quite some time for hormones to get fully back to normal. But I also think you are genuinely feeling sad about having to leave your baby to go back to work. I stay home now but when I would go back after a baby, I would always cry a lot shortly before and never slept the night before my first day. I hated it. I do think it would be good to talk to your doc about maybe getting some sort of antidepressant to help you out. At least give it a try.
It could be PPD, of course, but I think as new moms we have many actual reasons to be depressed despite all the happy moments. Having to disrupt the bond with baby is one of them.
Is part time work an option for you? Will you be happy with the care your daughter will be receiving? I am only a "one-child-expert" but looking back, I feel strong about NOT leaving children under age three in others` care fulltime. Care providers always assure us "she was fine after 5 minutes" or so but after a half day or even ten hours five days a week, are desperate to see that familiar face again they bonded with.
I always remember how my then one-year-old son would yell mommy mommy from behind the door when I rang the babysitter`s door bell after 9 hours of work. One time the dad of another girl was right in front of me, I heard my son yelling his mommy mommy, only to see the dad - and he sunk into himself crying so hard that he did not even realize I had walked in behind the dad. Just saying that those fulltime days can be incredibly long for a baby.
Don`t feel depressed, just find a solution that makes you more relaxed.
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