Postpartum Depression (PPD) Community
lost interest in my pregnancy
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lost interest in my pregnancy

Hi I'm new here. I'm 24 weeks due. I'm feeling very guilty and ashamed of myself right now. I have two other kids, 9 and 5 years old. With both of them I had PPD, but was okay during pregnancy. This is very long, sorry, I am just in turmoil....

This time I was so excited to be pregnant and my husband was excited, too. Everything was going good, then my husband got a new job and working long hours at the beginning of August. That's fine, but after work he spends all of his time talking to his new buddy on Skype. It is a man, but this man is a total pig. He has a girlfriend but is always talking about how he wants to have sex with other women, etc. Plus it seems like my husband is infatuated with this man, like he's flirting with him almost... it's very confusing! We've been together 6 years! And he never behaves that way. Well, he was acting secretive, etc, and I thought something else was going on.

I started to think he was talking bad about me behind my back. I heard him comment how being married is "prison" an I'm not a naggy or controling person at all. He has all my respect etc. I never hear him say anything about me that is nice or mean after that... I'm invisible... Also he said that all men daydream about being with other women and free of the women they have, and that made me afraid he was getting pictures of women on his computer that he may know. We had a discussion and I was right! He had a picture of a mutual friend of him and his new male friend in her lingerie posing on a car! He said it was photoshopped and they were making fun of her, but it was deleted so I never saw the pictures... I told him I didn't approve of him having such pictures....

Anyway, he has been nice to me since then until his buddy comes along. Then I vanish into thin air. I start to feel things are resolved then this guy comes along and my husband starts to turn into a pig just like this guy... I saw a girl post on his twitter making an inuendo about his penis size.... I'm freaking out! Plus he is not excited about the baby anymore. He never asks how I'm doing and if I talk about the baby he just seems like "yeah, whatever." And also he has stopped initiating sex, so I have ramped it up and sometimes he is responsive and sometimes not. He was always the agressor before....

Anyway, it has been almost two months of hot and cold and when he's talking direclty to me he's fine. But when he turns to talk to his friend he's not. But all of it is taking its toll. I am not eating well. I'm not sleeping well, I am afraid to go to sleep until he does, actually, so I am often up until 3-4 a.m. If I lay down I just cry hysterically. I know I'm suffering depression, I know I am. But it has gotten so bad I am not interested in being pregnant anymore. I don't feel any bond with my baby, which I felt a strong bond before. I feel like this is a mistake because now my husband is having an emotional affair with some guy!!! Because that's what it feels like. I am so hurt because I love my husband so much, and I think he loves me one second and the next secnod I feel completely isolated. I talked to him about it but after he comforts me he turns around and is back hanging out with Mr. Piggy....

I don't know what to do. I feel like a horrible person. -.-
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134578_tn?1404951303
Talk to your doctor about the ppd angle.  There might be an SSRI you can take during pregnancy, and that will help a lot to process everything else.  I was on a light Zoloft dose during pregnancy and it kept me feeling normal.
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1806883_tn?1407811249
well I know you love your husband, but right now its time to love yourself sand your new baby, I know this can be hard but you have to put the two of you first, go and see your doctor and have a talk with them about what is going on in your life. I dont mean to be harsh, but remember you are all your baby has at this important time so you need to try and get enough sleep and food for yourself and bub. Your husbands actions are childish and you have done nothing wrong, this other man by the sounds of it is extremely irresponsible  and your husband seems very guilable to have fallen for this man so to speak. Remember your main priority in this is  health nd well being of yourseld and unborn child.
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