41 years old, want to get pregnant and husband need vasectomy reversal

[minouch98]

I am 41 and I want to have a baby so bad but I am afraid of birth defect and other health issues my age may cause to the baby. My husband had vasectomy after his first marriage and he couldn't do the vasectomy due to financial issues. Now that we saved for that I find myself afraid because of my age. I feel better reading all these positives messages (thank you all so much for sharing) but I am still afraid. We are going to schedule the vasectomy reversal this next week but from what I read it could take up to a year to have full mobility sperm, which means I will be 42 when a pregnany may happen. I don't know if I should give up my dream of being a mom.  

[eejay17]

Hi! We have the same situation. I am 41, turning 42 this year and my husband had vasectomy too from his first marriage. But i told him i want to have a baby from him. Can you please let me know if yours was successful because we're planning to do ours this year. Thank you in advance.

[tamtam305]

My husband had a treversal we waited 6 weeks for healing and got the ok to start trying by my next cycle was due i was pregnant, he had it done a westmead private, it did cost around 8.000 but we got some back by medicare. being 41 is ok in my books even now im turning 37 and i am preg with baby number 7 and i know i will be asked to take them test to see birth defects and t5o me it dont matter as i will love it anyway regardless. so i always so no thanks to them tests. i know u r 4 yrs older than me but i am confident it will go ok for you. i tried ive 2 x for spem retrieve and it didnt work

[adgal]

I know how you feel.  I was 40 when I conceived my first healthy pregnancy.  So many had told me to "quit doing this to myself".  But I knew I had to keep trying and I am so glad I did.  We are currently ttc again at 42.  I did get pregnant in Oct., but sadly miscarried.  However, I am not easily deterred, so I am in the same boat as you!!

[ChristineMP]

You are in my prayers :) Best wishes!

[minouch98]

Thank you all for your support and comments. I appreciate the honesty too. It does help to know what to expect and the risks. I think if I don't at least try I will regret it for the rest of my life. You never hear a mom regretting her decision to have a baby but you hear a lot of women regretting not having tried. If it doesn't work I will probably go the adoption route. I will keep you updated on the progress.
Pray for us and for all the women out there who are trying to get pregnant.
Best wishes to you all!

[kdubb274]

I first got preggers in 2007 and miscarried at 6 mos. Then we adopted 2 beautiful children. I am now 36 and just found out we r preggers again. We r both excited. Go with your heart.

[ChristineMP]

Before you do the vasectomy reversal, you may want to talk with an experienced repro specialist and have them run tests to see if you are still ovulating, etc. I don't have much experience with that part of things, but I know your blood work can tell a lot about how likely you are to conceive.

I am guessing this is your first child? I have heard that it is more difficult for women who have not had children before age 40 to conceive than it is for women who has had children previously.

If is help any, statistics are just numbers...I am 41 and had been on birth control pills for 3 years. My husband and I decided to try to conceive later this spring so I stopped taking my pills last month (last pill Feb 5), having been told that it can take months to conceive after stopping. My LMP was Feb 8. I ovulated Feb 22 and had a positive pregnancy test March 8.

So, you might conceive right after your husband's reversal, you never know. As for the chance of birth defects, etc...there are tests that can be run to check for such things and you and your husband can discuss your options.

[adgal]

I understand your fear.  I also understand your hesitancy.  Perhaps I can help just a little bit.  The reality is that a women's fertility in general begins to decline after 35.  There is no question that becoming pregnant, and sustaining a pregnancy after 40 is tough.  I am not saying this to discourage you, but only to be honest.  That being said, it does happen, and not infrequently.  There are many of us who have had successful pregnancies in our 40's. (I was just a week shy of 41 when my son was born).  In terms of birth defects, etc., yes that too increases after 35 and again at 40.  However, the reason that the miscarriage rate is so much higher in our 40's is because many babies with chromosomal abnormalities do miscarry.  Again, not to scare you, but only to be honest.  

If this is what you want, then you should not be discouraged.  So many women here have had successful and healthy pregnancies well into our 40's.  Pursue your dream.  Talk to an RE earlier rather then later.  And remember this....there are always always options.  If you are truly afraid of what a pregnancy may bring, we do have options.  IVF with donor is something many pursue, and with much success.

Pregnancy is a bit of a roll the dice at any age and in any situation.  Follow your dream.  Talk to a specialist who can accuratly educate you on the risks and odds.  And again, know that there are always other avenues to follow if this is what you want.  I wish you all the best!!