Pregnancy 18-24 Community
19 and pregnant
About This Community:

This patient support community is for discussions relating to pregnancy and childbirth in women age 18 to 24.

Font Size:
A
A
A
Background:
Blank
Blank
Blank
Blank Blank

19 and pregnant

ok so yesterday i found out that i was pregnant i am about five weeks and im scared. i dont know what to do because everyone around me is telling me to get an abortion because of my situation and i dont know what to do. all my friends are teen moms and i see how hard it is and im really stuck between options. the father of my baby just got laid of from work two months ago and my job barely pays my rent and food i have to borrow money from my mom like at least once a month. i am usually the girl that talks crap about all the girls who get abortions "if your old enough to get pregnant your old enough to take care of it" but im not so sure of that now. this was a total accident and i have support from my friends if i keep it but what can they do for me there not going to pay for it. another thing i am in college right now and trying to get accepted into a accelerated LPN program how is that all going to factor in if i keep the baby im so scared can anyone help with some advice.
Related Discussions
11 Comments Post a Comment
Blank
796506_tn?1370191905
This decision is really all yours. There are tons of women (myself included) that have tried and tried and maybe we get lucky and maybe we don't. I don't think anyone on here is going to support abortion at all. And you are absolutely right. If you are old enough to have sex then you are old enough to deal with the consequences. I think you need to think long and hard about your options. There are so many couples that would love to have kids but can't and turn to adoption.
Blank
1222635_tn?1366399886
hey hun im 19 and pregnant too..its so scary at first i know. but hey when i was 17 i had an abortion with my first pregnancy...and it was the worst decision ive ever made...and my deepest regret. i thought i would be fine afterwards and that i wouldn't be too upset but i was way wrong, it was really really hard. some people can bounce back from something like that but not me. it was a horrible thing i did...
i just thought maybe if you heard a little of my experience you wouldn't want to do it. i promise you'll regret it. but anyways enough of my speech :)
you dont have to keep the baby...adoption is always an option too. there's tons of couples out there that want a baby. and nowadays you can have an open adoption where you get pictures of the baby and even maybe visit sometimes. this could be good if you reallly can't & won't be able to support it financially. would your mom pay for the baby? when my husband and i found out we were pregnant (before we were married) he didn't have a very good job and got fired from it shortly after i think it was. it was scary at first, but we were so blessed for the job he has now. a lot of prayer went into him finding a good one, and he did...so i suggest many many prayers, i'll pray for you too! i really hope that you figure out what the best thing for you to do is..and im sorry that you're going through this..it's not fun, but if you do decide to keep the baby it gets way more exciting. :) oh & i dropped out of college too, and my college plans are on hold for awhile. but i am going to go back and finish, its just temporary. :D feel free to message me if you want to talk some more!!
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Hello
I know exactly how you feel about being pregnant.
However, I have to say think about your choice because I had an abortion when I was younger (18) and it was not fun it also sticks with you the rest of your life.
I am pregnant now (estimated at 5.5 weeks) and it is scary again since I never had a full birth. Me & my partner of the last 10 years whom I had the 1st abortion with are doing much better with choices we make and we have grown up alot so we feel we want this pregnancy to work. We are just in a way better position than we were when I was 18 but I know I could of made things work when I was younger so I don't think I made a good choice about having an abortion but I live with it and hope for the best. The fact that I became pregnant again is a great sign of hope now I have hope for a healthy pregnancy. I am just thankful I was given a chance to be pregnant again.

But of course I am so scared of everything that comes with pregnancy. I about broke down crying like the 1st time I found out I was pregnant at 18 it was a huge flashback but I was strong and tried to stay positive. The thought of having a baby inside my body, the birth, and all the other stuff that comes with it is a bit overwhemling. It is so hard not to be scared but you can make it positive by thinking of all the good stuff that comes with a baby. It is very unselfish to have a baby and raise a child. It is hard but so rewarded I am sure.

I am still having a hard time dealing with my pregnancy because I have been having some issues that may be causing this pregnancy to not be viable. One day I am told I am pregnant and the next I am not, due to ultrasound results. But at the moment I am due to be 5.5 weeks and okay so we will see I am still very concerned.

I can't tell you that pregnancy or being a mom would be easy and okay because I don't know and I do know it's hard. I just know that it's such a blessing to get pregnant and you should be happy that your body is healthy and able to get pregnant. I know having a baby makes you think maybe you can imagine fitting a baby into your life, afford it, and etc. but things always work out if you always try hard.

It's your choice so do what you can live with.

You can email me anytime to chat about anything. I am 27 yrs old and trust me I am scared, happy, confused, and a bit angry at the same time. Try not to stress out too much if you do want to keep this pregnancy though, stress is not good it changes so much. Also, get pre-natal vitamins right away if you may want to keep it. There ususally not expensive and some pharamacy's have plans that can help. Apply for you state medical if you can where you live, usually for people with no or low income can recieve free medical for pregnancy treatment.

Let me know how you are and your plans if you want.

Take Care and I wish you the best. SMILE :)

-Kim

P.S. Other people may find it easy to tell you to get a abortion but they are not you so don't let other's decide for you. Listen to your instincts and look at the future. But try to just do what you think is right and what you can live with.
Blank
492921_tn?1321293496
If you choose to keep the pregnancy there is lots of government support. Free medical and now you would qualify for food. You can ger on WIC (women infant child) they offer quite a bit of food during pregnancy and a nutritionist. After birth they give you formula and food. You will qualify for more financial aid for school and usually government paid daycare while working and school. There are so many programs available.

You are the one that has to live with the choices you make not your friends. Everyone has opinions but not all are good or right for you. You are the only one that can decide. I don't agree with abortion as a form of birth control. You made a choice to have sex now there are consiquences.

I recommend that you think long and hard before you make any decision. This board is very good for any questions you may have now and during your pregnancy if you decide to keep the baby.

Me and my boyfriend were set up pretty good financialy when I got pregnant and then his instructor in martial arts class broke his leg a week after I found out. I have been the only one working for 4 months and he still has a month before he will be completly off his crutches. Things happen but we deal. I'm not gonna say it's easy bein pregnant and working two jobs. It's not I lucked out without morning sickness also.

Pray and your boyfriend will find a good job to support you and the baby while you finish school.  
Blank
1194973_tn?1385507504
Like everyone else has said. The choice in the end is yours. Abortion may be what you're being told to do, but you can't let others make the decision for you. You'll have to be the one to live with it. Not them.

Like Brittny said, there's lots of ways the government can help you if you qualify. If you're unmarried and have little to no income, they can give a lot of help finacially. They help with food, medical care (insurance) and housing. If you choose to keep it, the best you can do is apply for anything in your area and talk to your family. Support will be the biggest help you can get. It's so much harder when it the people closest to you turn their backs on you.

It's not going to be easy whatever you choose, but sometimes what seems to be the easiest way out really doesn't turn out that way. It may be easy for the moment, but the regret can live there forever. Only you know what is the right thing for you in your situation. Best of luck to you whatever happens.
Blank
202436_tn?1326477933
I know exactly how you feel.  I got pregnant at 17 and I let my Mom talk me into having an abortion.  I am now 32 and have regretted it every day of my life.  I have gone on to have several more pregnancies and have 4 wonderful kids but it doesn't change the way I feel.  My mom also regrets talking me into it.  I got pregnant again (by the same man) at 18 and I REFUSED to let anyone influence MY decision, including the father (he turned out to be a worthless boob anyway).  I chose to keep my child. My job barely paid anything, but I was able to live with my mom, though i paid her rent I was still able to care for my child and she helped me with childcare.  I have to use government assistance the first couple of years to get me on my feet but it was well worth it.  She is now almost 14 and I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm not saying it was EASY but it was WELL WORTH it.  

Even if you feel you could not raise a child, there is always adoption.  You can choose to do one where you can pick the family yourself or let an agency do it for you.  

Before you make any final decision I urge you to contact you local sav-a-life ministry.  They can offer you any TRUTHFUL information you need on all of your options, abortion, adoption or becoming a parent. They can talk you through it and show you the process regardless of what you decide.  They can get you in contact with other women who have made different decisions and you can talk to them abuot how they feel about the decisions they have made.

Personally I am against abortion unless rape is involved HOWEVER, the decision is YOURS and YOURS ALONE.  My best advice is to thoroughly educate yourself on all of your options before making that decision. Had I know HOW an abortion was performed when I had mine I NEVER would have gone through with it.  I can tell you that the majority of women who choose that route, later go on to regret it.  There are support groups all over the place for post-abortion women.  Talk to some of your teen friends and ask them. "if you could do this over again, knowing what you know now...would you change your decision and either abort or put the baby up for adoption"  I'm fairly certain that atleast most if not all of them would say NO.  

I applaud you for try to get knowledge and advice before making a decision.  Good luck with whatever you choose and if you have any more questions or just need to talk, we are all here to help you.  

BTW there are many young/teenage mothers on here who have done a WONDERFUL job with their child/children even though it might be a struggle in the beginning.  
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
You will never regret having your baby, but will most likely regret not having your baby. If you do not want to take care of your baby in this time in your life, give him/her to loving parents who will. Your baby is a gift from God and is a part of you. You will see the blessing. I wish you all the best.
Blank
304970_tn?1331429594
Ok, here's MY advice. If you have a bright future ahead of you, abortion may be YOUR best option. None of us walk in your shoes every day, and none of us will be there to help you. We can support ANY decision you make through chatting on this website, but that's it. This board is supposed to be for advice, and oftentimes I have noticed, people go all pro-life.. I have a son, he is 14 months old, he is the joy of my life. I had an abortion when I was 22. I didn't kow I was pregnant, I was getting, what I thought, was a period, every 2-3 weeks for almost 3 months, the Doctor confirmed pregnancy, but said there was clearly an issue due to the excessive bleeding and that he could run tests, some would take up to 2 weeks to get back.. I didn't have that kind of time, and I was ill prepared for ANY child, especially one who could potentially have problems, so I aborted the pregnancy, that was 10 years ago, and I sometimes feel very badly, especially when I look at my son and think "what if..?" BUT but on the whole, it was the right decision for ME at that time.I don't lose sleep over it and I am not continually tormented.. It was a decision I had to face, and it was right at that time.. Don't feel judged, just think long and hard about what you think is appropriate for YOU. You have to live with your decision either way, and I am sure you will choose YOUR best path. I am not a supporter of abortion as a form of birth control, but birth control sometimes fails (like it did for me back then), and we all are in control of our own destiny, it will be ok either way, and if you keep the baby, you will love that child like nothing else you have ever known..Best of luck,,
Blank
1228247_tn?1282894868
This is kind of upsetting for me....i was pregnant once (twins i think)...and like a jack*** i let my mom and the father and my friends talk me into getting an abortion because the guy was good-for-nothing and I was in college out of state and had no job and my mother told me she would disown me if i didnt get an abortion. I regret it all the time and firmly decided that if GOD ever blesses me with a child again that i will absolutely keep it. I love children and I loved that baby inside me even at 8 wks preg. BUT looking back I am glad that i dont have to deal with that guy anymore because my boyfriend now is amazing and will love me through anything. So its bittersweet. just think long and hard and get as much information as you can because once you have an abortion you can never take it back. Do whats right for you. But never make a permanent decision on a temporary situation.
Blank
927829_tn?1297272239
As others have said, it's your body and your future. No one else can tell you what's the right decision for you. You need to think long and hard about what kind of future you want. You will probably have regrets no matter what you choose. Good luck.
Blank
1258872_tn?1269572007
i got prego at 17. i am now 20 and my son is 2 1/2. he is my everything but i had to put everything to the side. his dad left me high and dry. i had to drop out 3 months before graduation everyday is a struggle with school work and my little man. i miss hanging out with my friends or even just taking an afternoon nap.  if youre really not set on it 100% you should look into adoption. my mother did an open adoption 4 years ago it was the hardest thing for her but it was the best decision for you. adoption is amazing and its great for woman who want their child to be well taken care of but dont/cant do it themselves. very well off families try everyday and cant concieve (conceive) and this is a great thing if its what your heart is set on
Blank
Post a Comment
To
Blank
Weight Tracker
Weight Tracker
Start Tracking Now
Pregnancy 18-24 Community Resources
RSS Expert Activity
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
The 3 Essentials to Ending Emotiona...
Sep 18 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
Control Emotional Eating with this ...
Sep 04 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
Emotional Eating Control: How to St...
Aug 28 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
Top Pregnancy Answerers
9797462_tn?1410755278
Blank
Staceyyyyy91314
Indianapolis, IN
7226538_tn?1410803545
Blank
Mommy_Daddy_2
Newport News, VA
7757724_tn?1396283186
Blank
HannahJohnson
none of your business, OH
9442948_tn?1406820051
Blank
babyberry000
7283364_tn?1401049650
Blank
GeekMom1213
ME
7677085_tn?1395377675
Blank
doulamommy
UT