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Abortion
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Abortion

I am 10 weeks pregnant and am considering a vacuum aspiration abortion.  Although my boyfriend feels he is ready for kids, he can be emotionally abusive at times.  I am in a new place where I have no family/friends which makes it especially hard.  Has anyone ever had this procedure and if so, any advice??
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Avatar_f_tn
Everyone has their opnions because of moral reason, just like chooseing what religion, abortion is up to each individual, and they shouldn't feel ashamed for thinking about it or doing it. Just think long and hard because it does have a huge emotional impact on u for the rest of your life, same with adoption and keeping the fetus, your a strong woman and sounds like you just need time to think things through, talk to your boyfriend about his emotional abuse, and so forth tell him your scared, at everything its your choice that u have the right to do, just remember u can never take it back, I am personally pro choice, as long as its not used as a form of birth control, I know someone who has had 8 because she dosent like the feeling of north contol or whatever, that's when I have a problem with it, but hon its up to you and only you
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1927809_tn?1324702000
My friend had one &i didn't know she told me she needed a ride coz she can't drive coz she was sedated looks like she was drunk ...so..no driving...sorry don't know much about it...
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1834324_tn?1322144704
You will definitely need someone to drive you. I know thru sedate you and you won't he aware of anything during the proceedure. I had an abortion years ago but it was the medical kind where they gave me a pill and i miscarried.
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Avatar_f_tn
Is there something wrong with how the baby is developing?? Just trying to wrap brain around your reason for possibly having it done??
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Avatar_n_tn
I don't feel ready....one day I'm okay and the next I am not. I just moved to a city where I have no family/friends because of my boyfriends job and he can be emotionally abusive to me at times, which makes me worried about how he will be to me/our child once we do have the baby.  He is very excited about it, but I am hesitant. Any advice??
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Avatar_n_tn
sorry...meant to send that to kfrasher.. I don't feel ready....one day I'm okay and the next I am not. I just moved to a city where I have no family/friends because of my boyfriends job and he can be emotionally abusive to me at times, which makes me worried about how he will be to me/our child once we do have the baby.  He is very excited about it, but I am hesitant. Any advice??
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1846492_tn?1321388076
My advice...tell the bf you need to take it slow if he's not being supportive. Be independent. Get your own place, go to the local county building and ask for help. They can provide you all sorts of resources. If you really don't want to keep it...no one ever considers adoption. Its quite sad. I know its inconvenient to go through all that and give it up. I'm sure its inconvenient for the   baby if you decide abortion. Sounds like your just scared and that's ok. Everyone gets scared. You can do it, its a blessing. Don't feel guilty about feeling apprehensive.
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1755520_tn?1330573426
sounds like you are gong through the motions sweetie i had an abortion back on Feb 15, 2008 it is the worse feeling every i still have dreams about my baby but since then i have had two kids and i regret it everyday, now i tend to hold on to my kids tighter...my advice is to try to work thingds out, find out some resourse places i that city and if he cant do rite move out on your own,,,,,,
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1925157_tn?1328932617
I had one done, and what they did was took me in a small room and laid me on a table made me open my legs like I was getting a pap. Then they put me to sleep, you don't have to get put out but I recommend it. So you do t feel anything. Then the next thing I knew I was getting woken up in a room with a couple other girls, as soon as I opened my eyes I started crying. They made me take this pill then go to the bathroom to change my pad I wasn't even bleeding at the time. But they played this tape telling me how to take care of myself and then let me go home after an hour in recovery. Don't listen to the other people judging if you are set on getting an abortion because egoism are not ready then that is what you need to do. Just make sure its what you absolutely want because it does put a lot of stress on you after, the feeling of regret and what not.
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Avatar_f_tn
I have had the procedure.  And although I don't regret my decision I would never ever do it again.  It will emotionally damage you for a while just a fair warning but like you I wasn't read. My boyfriend my verbally abusive and I couldn't go through with a child in the midst of that.    But the basic procedure.is different for everyone I personally cant be sedated for drug reasons   so I did the produce wide awake and then passed put for a couple minutes. But it last for about 5 mins and  hurts for a couple days like really bad period cramps. But def call someone or find a therapist that you can run your ideas around with. Good luck and god bless ya.
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Avatar_f_tn
I was with someone once that I did not was kids with and I went on birth control, the only time ever. I am preg with my second, condom failed, not ready, didn't want to do this right now, but my baby shouldn't have to suffer, and won't. I also know many who did, my best friend is one, I still love her, but they all regret it. Hers went bad, and had am infection, and had to get a historectomy at 23, and CAN'T have kids now.Please do not murder this baby. There are so many that can't have children that would love that child if you can't.  
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1035252_tn?1371343440
I highly suggest considering adoption as well. I won't make any comments either for or against abortion, but I do recommend that you go speak with someone who you can trust before making your decision.  A family member you can call, a pastor/preacher, and if all else fails make an appointment with Planned Parenthood. They will discuss abortion and adoption options with you.

I know a LOT of moms who weren't ready when they got pregnant, who ended up single, who considered abortion...and there are a lot who went on to have the baby and realize it was the best thing that ever happened to them.

Only you know what you can handle, though, and the choice is completely yours.

Best of luck in your decision
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1181036_tn?1367372240
If you are unsure or just scared than you should consider adoption. PLEASE. Your baby is ten weeks, when I had my ultrasound at 10 weeks 1 day I could see my baby waving its arms and moving around, so an abortion is actually killing a little bitty person inside of you. There are times when abortion may be unavoidable (drug addicted mother, HIV, etc.) but I don't think you should do it. If your boyfriend is emotionally abusive you shouldn't be with him anyway, that's not healthy. If anything I would leave the guy and go back to your family who will be all the support you need for that baby. So please, do not get an abortion, it is emotionally damaging to the mother and you are killing an innocent life. Good luck
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Avatar_f_tn
Everyone has their opnions because of moral reason, just like chooseing what religion, abortion is up to each individual, and they shouldn't feel ashamed for thinking about it or doing it. Just think long and hard because it does have a huge emotional impact on u for the rest of your life, same with adoption and keeping the fetus, your a strong woman and sounds like you just need time to think things through, talk to your boyfriend about his emotional abuse, and so forth tell him your scared, at everything its your choice that u have the right to do, just remember u can never take it back, I am personally pro choice, as long as its not used as a form of birth control, I know someone who has had 8 because she dosent like the feeling of north contol or whatever, that's when I have a problem with it, but hon its up to you and only you
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Avatar_m_tn
I would suggest counseling, period, to help you cope with your relationship and adjust to your new place. You're under a lot of stress right now, and this is a big decision. Doesn't matter whether you choose to keep the baby, terminate or give it up, it's always a big responsibility and you will live with your decision for the rest of your life. Deal with the stress, fear, and relationship issues, and making the choice that's right for you will be easier.

If you don't know anybody where you are, call a trusted friend or check your phone listings for mental health or counseling services. Good luck!
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676912_tn?1332816151
Something I see, hear, and read a lot of is embarrassment when you have problems. I agree that you do need some sort of counseling/someone to talk to. BUT what I mean by embarrassment is that I see a lot of people NOT ask for help because of it. Don't be. You're have a lot on your plate, let someone help you work through it.
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1927809_tn?1324702000
aww im sorry u been going thru this..i dont really know how to give advice about it...i know a baby is  a blessing and things happen for a reason :)
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Avatar_f_tn
I'm going to pray you don't get an abortion. God doesn't bless people with children for no reason. He blessed you knowing you could do it. Even if you choose adoption, dont betray God. Please sweetie rethink your decision. God have you this baby, and he will by all means support that baby. Also if you say your boyfriend is verbally abusive, you should rethink being in a relationship with him. You'll be in my prayers, and I send u many blessings.:)
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127124_tn?1326739035
The original poster is going through enough right now without some of you telling her she will be murdering her baby and betraying God.  Yes, I believe babies are a blessing but we can't decide this for her.  She simply asked about the procedures not if you thought she should have an abortion.
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Avatar_f_tn
I'm not up here to judge nor argue. I haven't judged her not one bit.
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Avatar_f_tn
I had a friend who did it and she had 2 have someone drive her home afterwards cause they put her 2 sleep and then afterwards they gave her a pain pill. U could call the clinic who dose it and they should give u all the info. The one my friend went offered a lil couniling thing b4 or after just so u could talk 2 someone bout everything. I have never had an abortion but I did give my daughter up 4 adoption when I was young and I know how hard these choices can b and the toll they can take on u. I wish u the best and hope u pick the best choice that's 4 u and not cause other peoples opinions. If u ever need 2 talk u can message me on here.
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127124_tn?1326739035
You did tell her she would be betraying God.  Sounds judgemental to me
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Avatar_f_tn
If that's the case I apologize to "her," if "she" thinks I'm judging her. Now like I said I will be praying that she doesn't get an abortion, an I send her many blessings.
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Avatar_f_tn
I was 15 when I went to the clinic to get an abortion. Me and my partner wernt together, and everyone wanted me to have an abortion. My sister took me, you will need someone to drive you and drive you home as they do sedate you. You have to fill out forms. What they did for me was take me into a room first do an ultrasound to make sure I was pregnant council me for a bit. Then they took me into the procedure room , I had to lie down with my legs open, then they put the needle in you and your out of it. That's when I lost it and told them all to get stuffed and ran out of the room my son was born 9 months later. (Although if you go threw with it your out for the procedure , when you wake they take you to a room, give you pain relief and explain a bit about what happens after.) I highly suggest talking with someone before making your decission. Being pregnant makes you more hormonal and stressed. The decission you are to make ( abort, adoption or keep) is a big one and shouldn't be judge lightly. You also need to talk to your partner , this decission needs to be talked about together and if he wants it he needs to stop the emotional abuse. No one can force you to do what you don't want it is your body and your decission. Just think carefully. There's not a day that goes past I don't look at my bub and be thankful how lucky I am to have him. Then to realize how close I came to not having him, it would have been a decission I would have regret. But everyone's different .
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Avatar_f_tn
I can only say that I personally could never follow thru with it...I'm not you nor am I in your shoes...my advice would be to consider adoption if you aren't sure abt his abusive behavior concerning the baby..your baby had no choice in being created so at least give it a chance at a better life than you think you could give it!
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Avatar_m_tn
I had two abortions recently n march nd now pregnant again.... My boyfriend doesnt want it but I refuse to get another.... It emotionally broke me down I fell into a depression state... They also drugged me but I still felt it... Worst feelin... nd I regret doin it still.... No child should be killed by our oops.... Nd I realized that alil too late.. My first abortion was at 14.. After that I tried killin myself multiple times.... I mean its not good to have one.... But every one has there reasons.... I can't judge and won't because I made that mistake twice.... We are grown nd know wat happens when we have unprotected sex no matter who we dealing wit.. I'm just saying.... I'm single now 23 pregnant and unemployed nd my baby father ex doesnt want it...so he left because I chose.to keep it
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1936550_tn?1348363808
I scheduled an appointment during my first pregnancy. My husband and I would always get into arguments. I felt so alone during the pregnancy. Sadly, everyone around me encouraged me to it, my mom, brothers, uncles except my husband. So I thought it was the right things since my husband didn't cared, and I was scared of becoming a mom so fast after marriage. When I scheduled it my dad told me he will take me, it broke my heart that he wanted to take me. The morning of my appointment I got very scared and couldn't go. No one was happy about my pregnancy until I started to show. My husband became more caring. I couldn't blame him for acting the way he did because my parents weren't the nicest people to him. My son is almost 5 years old and he is the best thing that happened to me. Everyone that told me to abort him love him dearly. My husband was very happy too during delivery. Sometimes things change but it will take time. I suggest you think it over. Once you do abortion you can't get that baby back. Whatever you decide to do, I pray that you'll be happy and healthy.
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1950820_tn?1324775594
I had one a few years ago. I choose not to use any kind of pain meds or anethesia and I didn't find it to be unbearable. Slighty crampy during and a little more so a few hours later but the next day I was fine. They kept me there for maybe 15mins afterwards cause I felt fine but could've stayed longer gave me some Apple juice and aftercare. I was also in a bad relationship and believe I made the right choice and haven't regretted it at all. My husband and I just started ttc a couple wks ago and believe I may already be preggo! So if you were wondering, it will not affect you future chance of having children
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Avatar_f_tn
Have you considered adoption?
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1951406_tn?1324598398
You got a friend here((:
I don't have much family\friends either ..I'm 16 weeks so far & can give u my email or fb is u have one. Think about it tho first regarding the abortion...it can be very tramatic for you.
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1901977_tn?1333995326
I'm not going to comment on the abortion issue, since I believe that's every woman's very personal decision. But it's not always true that it doesn't affect your chance for future children...two very close friends of mine went through an abortion each during their teens/early twenties, and developed cervical problems as a result. Both have tried to conceive, and cannot carry a pregnancy to term. Since they're both in their thirties now, they face the reality of a life without children as the result of abortions they got as young women, for very good reasons at the time.

So whatever decision you make, I'd just be very careful to do all your research, ask lots of questions every step of the way. And good luck, it sounds like you're in a rough place right now, so I hope things get better for you.
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1654035_tn?1332428778
I can say that it is difficult to do without family and friends but not impossible. I had my baby when I was in Germany, and for the first year of her life there was no family or friends, but I did have my husband. We ended up moving back to our family and that has been great, which is something you could consider. If you are worried that your boyfriend will not be a good dad then that might be a reason to end the relationship. good LUck with your decision I know it is not an easy one.
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1941650_tn?1324594347
Sorry. I tend to be blunt.
If he is emotionally abusive, then why are you with him? I understand the love factor.. I was with someone for 13 yrs that cheated on me 4 times in the last 6 yrs we were together. It has been 4 yrs now since we had broken apart... But it still effects me. It made me emotionally broken in some ways.  You don't need to be on that position.

My poor fiancé as of now has to deal with it from time to time b/c of my damaged insecurities. I am just thankful he is supportive.

Now that I am pregnant. I too feel that I am not ready, however I knew the risk of having unprotected sex.

To have an abortion on the grounds of your boyfriend is abusive Makes it sound like you need a different boyfriend. Or he has things he needs to work on. You guys should really talk. No relationship works without communication.

Does he know of your plans? And chances are if he doesn't and you do the abortion anyway... Your relationship will most likely be over, especially with him being excited. Plus if you say he is emotionally abusive now? He would difinitly be more so aft the abortion.

You may not have family where you are now. But I am sure you have family somewhere? And there is nothing saying you can't move back home.
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1035252_tn?1371343440
I just wanted to let everyone know that I'm very proud of you ladies for reaching out to this poster...I know abortion is a touchy topic but everyone is doing a wonderful job of being supportive and giving advice from the heart without being judgmental.

Just wanted to note that I really feel lucky to be a part of such a wonderful group of women, and commend you all.

I hope the original poster comes back and sees the great responses she's gotten and knows that she is NOT alone, and that no matter how any of us feel about abortion we are here to support her and help her find her strength.

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Avatar_f_tn
I had an abortion at 13 weeks it feels like someone is tugging on ur insides but it is not excruciating pain...another thing if he is emotionally abusive it may turn physical eventually just sayn from experience but I can't speak on ur situation but just coming from a person that believes in abortion and repentance!
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Avatar_f_tn
When I was 13 I was raped and became pregnant. Even though I didn't want to, my mon forced me to have an abortion. I was under 8 weeks pregnant so I was able to get a non-surgical abortion.
Even though I was a rape victim and way too young, getting an abortion tore me apart. I was depressed for years because of it..
If you really feel that you're not ready, id advise you to look into adoption. That would be much easier.
8 1/2 years later, I still have nightmares. There are so many women out there who struggle to get pregnant or can't get pregnant at all and would love nothing more than to care for your baby...
Just think about how you'd feel after having one...
I mean, I was raped and I still felt absolutely horrible... it takes a toll on how you feel.. for a long time..
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Avatar_f_tn
I'm sorry but I think ur comment was very harsh and why would anyone want a baby with someone that is abusive a baby changes a lot of things I have been in this same situation as this young girl and I'm telling you now do what's best for you cuz next thing you no your child will be going through the abuse by seeing mummy getting the abuse I totally agree abortions are right for some people and u respect those wishes who do have them
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