Pregnancy 18-24 Community
Adoption
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Adoption

I just recently found out that I was pregnant two weeks ago. I am now 9 weeks and 6 days. I told my ex thay I was pregnant and now he is angry that I want to put it for adoption. He wanted me to have an abortion but I denied it. I had an abortion when I was 18 and never having another. I had an appointment with the counselor and I told him about what we were talking about and he hung up the phone. I texted him why he hang up and he said if you would of got the abortion like I said, you wouldn't be in this situation smh. I just want my child to have a better than I had.
21 Comments Post a Comment
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Avatar_n_tn
Adoption is in my opinion better then abortion.  How old are you now? He doesn't have the rightto twtell you to get an abortion. No one does. You have to carry the baby inside you not him. If you want to go for an adoption I'm sure there is a family out there that will be forever greatful for the gift you are about to give them. Your a strong woman!
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Avatar_f_tn
I was in a similar situation. I found out I was 6 weeks and something pregnant a while back. I wanted to abort. But my family refused! So I decided to keep the baby because I understood it happened because I had unprotected sex. I wasn't gonna magically be pregnant. I told my ex, and he was upset. First he said it wasn't his. Then he apologized and said it was dumb to say that but that he just wasn't ready and wanted to see if he could pay for an abortion. I refused and told him I was keeping my baby. After telling him I didn't need him and I'd do this with or without him he ended up coming around. Now he wants to show up for appointments. Maybe he's just in shock like my ex was. But let me just point out neither of you would be in this situation had you played it safe. So he's an idiot for saying that. And are you sure you wanna give your baby up for adoption!? There are so many programs that would help! I wanted to abort because I wanted to be selfish. Then I concluded.... I'm going to school still! Now I have a reason to give them a better life and get an amazing education!
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Avatar_f_tn
I am 21. I can't take care of a child right now. I only have 7 months until I finish college. And thank you! I refuse to get another abortion. Now the dad don't talk to me anymore. But a guy that likes me now, he want me to keep it because he wants to raise it. I told him that that's not his responsibility..
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Avatar_f_tn
I'm only 20! And barrrrely started last month! I have a long way to go. You're almost done! Omg. In MY opinion I would say reconsider giving away your flesh and blood. I understand that you'd want to give them a better life but you have to understand that this was unexpected and that everything happens for a reason. Maybe you need someone to be responsible for. Maybe you need the motivation. Maybe this IS your wake up call. I don't know. But you don't need him to raise the kid. Just tell him his *** is going to pay for child support whether he likes it or not!
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Avatar_f_tn
Yeah I want adoption. I don't think my mom would approve of a child right now. We are struggling so bad and I don't know if I can take being a single mom. I'm not that strong of a person lol. I can't even change a darn diaper so I'm definitely not ready lol.
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Avatar_f_tn
It's NOT the guys responsibility but if he is willing to help. Let him. Only if YOUR okay with it. I wanted to play house and think I can do everything on my own. I can't. I'm eventually going to need help. I am getting prenatal Medicaid, foodstamps and wic! While I go to school!
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Avatar_f_tn
Well if you feel adoption is best. Go ahead. Just know it will be hard to nurture it in your belly and give it away. You said you weren't str
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Avatar_f_tn
...strong* so keep that in mind.
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Avatar_f_tn
That's what a lot of people say!! Lol. That this is a miracle baby and I shoukd keep it. Especially, "soon to be" wants me to keep it sooo bad. He was literally crying on the phone the other night because he wants to care for the baby.
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Avatar_f_tn
I think what your doing is amazing. I am adopted and am so thankful to my birth mom for doing the most selfless thing and giving me an amazing life. You are so strong! I even have a relationship with my birth mom and sisters now. Good luck on what ever you end up doing :)
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Avatar_f_tn
Lol, I don't even know you and I WANT you to keep it. It's your flesh. Don't you wanna see if it looks like you? Don't you wanna be able to feel unconditional love? I swear I wanted to abort not even adopt and I changed my mind overnight. I saw abortion videos and heard tragic stories. Like I said I was selfish: I wanna sleep when I want. Go out when I want. Etc. but I figured. Hey. Someone needs me. If my love life is ****. So be it. But I'll have a kid that truly loves me.
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Avatar_f_tn
Adoption Is a way better option.. but its obv. Better for the child to be with his mother... the thing with adoption is that the biological father needs to sign papers giving up his rights as the father and if he doesn't I don't think you can put you're baby up for adoption.. I would ask about that for sure!
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Avatar_f_tn
@DominiqueN573
Yes you are right. That's what I'm.trying to battle right now because he WAS in the picture Thursday when I was in the meeting. But he will get papers in the mail saying if he want to be a part on the adoption signing or not. If he doesn't check it off and send them back, he would have to go to court
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Avatar_f_tn
I was in the same situation with the adoption but then I thought no matter how better another person can provide for my child cause  im not ready I couldn't live my life with that decision. I dont believe in abortions till I got put in the situation I rather get one than put ny child up for adoption, it may sound hatsh but just how I felt. But at the end if tge day I looked passed it all and decided to keep my baby. Hope I didn't make anything worse or make you feel bad. Good luck with everything
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Avatar_f_tn
It's not about what anyone else wants it's about what you want! Every person is different, and has different opinions on what they need/want in their lives. Abortion is taking the self(ish) way out in my opinion you just get rid of it and try and never look bad, still being able to do what you want. Adoption is the self(less) way out because you carry that baby inside you for 10 months watching what you do and what you eat already acting like a mommy then giving birth and giving him/her away became you know you can handle the responspbilty right now. I think adoption would be the hardest for me now that I'm 9 moths pregnant giving up the cigarettes, booze, drugs all for someone I've never even met. Your stronger than me for sure! Go with your gut!
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Avatar_f_tn
I don't believe anyone is ever really "ready" for a child you always have things to learn about taking care of it.  When I found out I am pregnant I was actually sad, even though I've wanted a child since I was 12 I didn't want it now. I was having too much fun out with my friends partying. Giving all of that up seemed too hard for me and I considered abortion even tho my boyfriend has wanted it since i told him. But I have thought so much about adoption and abortion and I realized this child is inside me for a reason and i am supposed to be a mommy. I'm now 9wks pregnant and I have doubts all the time about giving up everything and the ffact that we financially are out of luck but I keep telling myself that it happened because it was supposed to I will get through this and be able to be an amazing mom. Now the dad is going into the navy and I'm going to have to do without his help for a while and really thought I wasn't strong enough but women are built for this we are supposed to be mothers so I know it will work out. If you are only wanting to give it up because you don't think you can do it, think some more about it your mini-you was put inside you for a reason. If you still think adoption is best then go with that, just think through your reasons first
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Avatar_f_tn
Yes and if he takes you to court he will most likely get custody and you're rights as a mother will be relinquished.  As the father he also has rights and he if you don't want the baby and he does he will get custody of his child..
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Avatar_f_tn
@hippiemommy4321
I am not a party person so hanging out with friends wouldn't be the problem. It's taking care of my mom and my kid together would be the problem. My mom has sever depression and schizophrenia so its hard for her to even walk out the house. So I'm always on my toes with her, and bringing a child in the world would be so hard.
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Avatar_f_tn
I understand what you mean. I believe you can do it, just don't think you should give it up because you don't believe you can. But only you can decide what is right for you and your child. Its such a big decision and you are a very strong woman no matter which you choose both will be difficult for you, you will figure out which one is worth the difficulty it causes. Do what makes you happy girl the same decision isn't right for every woman.
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Avatar_f_tn
I really couldn't agree more with you. I would go out every weekend. Drink. Cocaine. Get on my motorcycle... now I cant do any of it. and I thought "Yeah for a kid I don't want or wasn't planned?! no way! Im having too much fun in college! plus I don't wanna get freakin huge" and it was selfish. I wanted to abort. AND Adoption wasn't an option. I didn't wanna get attached and big. So I just wanted to kill my child. Now I don't want anymore than to give birth to a healthy baby. I literally couldn't sleep thinking of how my life was ruined. My dad is retired. My mom is disabled. I CAN do this. Because I'm determined.
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Avatar_f_tn
I still don't think any option whether it is to adopt, abort, or keep the baby is better than the other though. Because everyone has different values, morals and opinions. Just whatever fits their needs and situations is whats best.
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