Advice anyone???

[patty3435]

Hi well I just found out I was pregnant yesterday, I told my boyfriend about this and he wants me to have an abortion but I want to keep the baby, I think that if I keep the baby he's going to distance himself from me. I don't know what to do :/ any advice someone can give me???I'd really appreciate it

[patty3435]

thank you (: i appreciat it

[Manda91]

good luck sweetie, and thats great he came around have a healthy nine months!

[patty3435]

Honestly, ready or not we're going to raise the baby, I want to raise my baby and he's being very supportive now he's already thinking of baby names if we were to have a baby boy, we are both nervous and a bit scared but I know we can do it. His family is very supportive of our relationship and of what we do. His family loves me and my family loves him. I'm ready to do what ever I need to do for my boyfriend and my baby. I have my job at Kaiser and its great education will also continue while my pregnancy is on going but im ready for this and so is he,,

[sweetpea03]

If you don't feel ready or your bf doesn't feel ready to be a parent, have either of you talk about adoption? That's another option to think about and can be great for everyone involved. The baby goes to a family who is stable and really wants the baby, but can't conceive on their own, both of you can continue your education, get a career, get married, etc before having another child, and the adoptive family gets an amazing gift. It's just something to think about. Hope all goes well.

[patty3435]

Thank you(: im sure he knew in his heart that i couldnt go threw with it, he;s being ore toward the fact that he's going to be a dad next year, im having my first ultrasound next tuesday and hes excited.

[waitn838]

i went through something very similiar with my first child...the father was a best friend of mine for 14 years....after getting preg it was like i didnt even know him....i chose to keep the baby and raise it on my own and ill be honest it was the BEST choice i ever made....i loved being a single mom and honestly it wasnt that hard because i had good friends and family who always helped me out

my son never got to know his real father (he's currently in jail for a long time) but that is ok because my now husband calls him "his son" and my son calls him "daddy".....

guys who think this way will suffer the rest of their life....my son's real father's life has only went downhill and im so glad he is not a part of my life anymore

you can do it....you can do anything you put your mind to

[goincrazy101]

Girl i know what your goin thru i in the same boat my bf knew i wasnt on birth control an now im pregnant again i had 2 abortions last year an i still think about them now i want to keep this one and hes saying he will leave he dont want nothing to do with the baby. i have 3 kids already and im confused on what to do that will b 4 kids an a single mom i think god dont give you anything you cant handle and theres a reason 4 everything so im thinking i will keep my baby an f my bf good luck

[expectingandhopeful]

So happy to read that everything worked out and so proud of you for being so strong and staying by your decisions <3 I wish you wonderful happy and healthy pregnancy! There will be many challenges on the way but you will be able to proudly hold your baby and whisper in it's ear that he/she is loved and very much wanted! Good luck!

[patty3435]

Yea, I told him I didn't have the heart to have an abortion and we talked about it for a few hours and he said that he's going to stand by me 100% of the way and that we should be happy we're having a baby because its a blessing for us, I'm happy he came around I honestly think that if i went through with an abortion i would resent him, I really appreciate all the people here giving me advice and helping me out on this and my first month of pregnancy and all of you who don't have their baby's daddy support I really respect you for what you do. Thank you all so much!

[Manda91]

my son is 3 i got pregnant with him when i was 16 his dad said he would be there and his family his family helps somewhat but dont want it and dont need it after three yrs and his dad is in prison for 4/5 yrs and has been there since he was 1/1.2 so my fiance claims him as his son and thats who my son thinks is his dad if your bf doesnt want to be there thats on him because having a baby is the best thing in the world god has blessed you dont kill that baby you dont need him f... him

[patty3435]

yea im going on to my 5th week tomorrow, I was happy but worried of his reaction, he told me if I do decide to keep the baby that he will support me as much as he can but i think in the long run he's going to think i ruined his life by having the baby he's talked to me about having babies with me but not now. I know we're both still young but if he loves me as much as he says he does then he should be willing to put up with this test god has put infront of us. I thank you for your advice if i do end up being a single parent then thats fine with me as well.

[patty3435]

im not one to judge so you don't have to worry about me judging you for having an abortion, it crossed my mind earlier that if I were to have an abortion how upset I would be with him, as much as I love him I don't think I would forgive hi for making me do something I didnt want to do. I really do think if he wants to be with me then he will except my decision and if not then thats fine too i don't need someone bringing me down, all i need is my baby<3 and thanks it did help(:

[athomas04]

Its great to know someone is dealing with it to. I just found out im 6 weeks preg and infact i havnt even told him! we stopped talking 2 weeks ago and thursday i found out im pregnant. Well my advice is that you do what YOU want. i mean if you want it and have it, ur bf will be part of it neither way but taking the risk if yall will still be together. but make sure you do what you want. me myself i think im going to be a single parent myself so dont feel alone.

[elayaa]

hey. Please dont judge me but i  had an abortion when i was 16. I really wanted to keep the baby but my bf would leave me if i did. I really didn't think id be able to do it alone. Well i regret it so much. I still think about it and wish i had never had an abortion it was a horrible and i think  im very selfish for doing it. Anyway, im with the same guy now and we have 2 kids either of which he didn't want either and im now pregnant with my 3rd. Turns out he had a brain tumor so he doesnt actually think about decisions and consequences. I do everything my self. I dont get much help from him at all. I guess what im trying to say is dont let him force you into something you dont want to do. I dont think i will every fully forgive my partner. You have support from you sister and family everything will be great. hope this helps.
congrats on you pregnancy! xxx

[patty3435]

he's trying to convince me into having an abortion, he keeps saying he's too young but I don't have the heart to have an abortion what so ever, he wants one later on but if I were to have an abortion I wouldn't want to have a baby with him later. I'll talk to him but I don't think it"ll change his mind,he sees sure of what he wants. Thanks

[anitascanzo]

talk to your boyfriend and let him know he either faces the music or walk away for life, he is a jerk not to take up his resposibilities, what did he think will happen when he was enjoying himself. i hope he will think and refrase what he said about abortion.

don.t go for abortion, children are precious gift, i know with your family's help you can make ok. no abortion

[patty3435]

@kerriekab thank you. I know that's what i have been thinking about too, my sister is supportive of what I do and my parents are also excepting it would be their first grand child. I know he was man enough to get me into this situation but seems like he is trying to find the easy way out, if it comes to it I don't need someone by my side to help me besides my family. I appreciate your advice thanks so much!

[kerriekab]

Well congrats on being pregnant but i'm sorry about the circumstances you are in.  If you want to keep the baby then sounds like you have already made your decision.  If your bf won't stick by you then he is not worth being with! He was man enough to get you in this situation and he should be man enough now to deal with the consequenses.  I hope you have good family support to help you through this. Good Luck with what ever happens.