Am i Selfish?

[Asking4aMiracle]

ok so as a lot of you may know, my hubby and i have been trying to get preggo for 2 and a half years!! we were recently blessed with the news that we are expecting twins February 12th!! WELL we are OVER the moon excited and have already shared the news with all of our friends and family, taking this wonderful time to be the center of attention since the road we have been travelling has been anything but easy!! my hubbys best friend (since 1st grade) got married a few years before we did and had a baby by their 2nd anniversary. they got divorced about a year and a half ago!! since then he has remarried (they met and together march 07, married on july 07  and have been trying for a baby since then with no luck. she has 2 beautiful girls from a previous marriage as well!! so they have 3 beautiful kids (2 girsl and a boy) under the age of 5. WELL i know they have been trying and i really wanted it to happen, they are awesome together, perfect couple and would make great kids together!! BUT i wasnt expecting it to happen to soon, she called last night and told me she is pregnant, due February 24th. she is already really well liked and kinda the center of attention, in my point of view, they just bought a new house, they are the ones that always throe the parties and have the best of the best new technologies!! (hes an IT major) my problem is, am i a bad person for feeling jealous that i am not exactly the center of attention any more? i mean, i dont really know how its going to be when we all hang out (theyre having a house warming party soon im sure) so i dont know if its going to be all about her or not, it may not, but from that past, i can see it being that way! well i wanted to enjoy this longer and be in my 2 tri before she got pregnant (BUT i DID want her to get pregnant then because i want my children to have friends their ages with our friends, if that makes sense) anyway, im kinda upset because it feels like i just lost my thunder, that im kinda old news just because the way their life has been going this past year (renting a house that went into forclosure, custody battles, ex problems) i just needed to vent, i feel horrible for feeling this way, i am SOOOOOO HAPPY for them, they deserve it by all means, but im hurting that it has happened this close to my news!! i dont knwo what to do!!

[Asking4aMiracle]

Thank you all for your opinions, its really helping me cope with it all!! im starting to see it in other views and i think im ok with it all now!! you guys are great!!

[JoyRenee]

Well look at it this way: your babies will be here first!

I was pregnant with my SIL both times (our first children are one month apart; our second children are 4 months apart). Our kids are like siblings and I'm like a mom to her kids (and vice versa). We were treated with equal attention by family.

In fact, our pregnancies helped my SIL and I bond better. Sounds like you and the rest of the family love her a lot. Maybe this will also help you guys develop a stronger relationship!

[Asking4aMiracle]

Thank you all so very much!! i think once i am not worried about what i might find when i go to the bathroom and start enjoying the fact that i am amazingly blessed with twins, i will be much happier outside for her!! my other concern is, she got pregnant with clomid, so there is that possibility of twins as well!! but like babydream said, its not about anything else right now but My Husband Me and My Twins!! i am so beyond happy and cant wait to hold them both in my arms!! Thanks for reassuring me that my pregnancy is not any less immportant!! i feel so BLESSED and am in AWWW, the Lord is amazing and i am so thankful to have Him to Bless me!! thanks again!!

[Grandmatobe]

Unless your friend is having twins too, I think you still have something special to keep in the forefront.  That will always be special.  Not to mention that you will probably deliver in January instead of February, so you will have the spotlight back.

Congrats and good luck!

[KM604]

I was in a different situation then you but with similar feelings.  My hubby and I had been TTC for 3 months and I found out my 19 SIL was pregnant, unplanned.  Then 2 months later is when I had a m/c.  It took me a while to not treat her differently, because I was jealous.  Now I am pregnant again, only 5 1/2 weeks, but everyone is so happy for me.  It was hard though because she just had her baby and techincally I should be having mine soon too.  She also treated the family totally different and it was to me just unfair.  You just want your glory and you have every right to get it.  You are also having twins, so your one up on her :)  I think it is natural for you to feel that way, but just think of that fact that you are pregnant and I think everyone will be equally as happy for you both.

[mami1323]

No not at all....I went through the same feelings as you.  My fiance's sister who loves attention was actually pregnant at the same time as I was.  Of course she found out first but during our entire 40 weeks, it felt like a competition.  She always wanted all the attention, she barely had a belly and would rub it none stop.  She acted like she couldn't get up off of a chair...anything for the attention.  It drove me nuts.  Then of course whatever I experienced, she was experiencing it to.  It took me and my fiance almost 2 years to conceive and she got knocked up by a guy she only knew for one month.  It was so frustrating...it's like she only wanted the baby so she could have people focused on her.  I felt like my experience was taken from me.  But you know what, after Jayden was born, I could care less about any of that.  I am happy with my son and I got attention maybe even more because I didn't try so hard.  Plus, we actually bonded a little after the babies were born.  We were happy to know they would grow up together.  So it might be a blessing...don't let this take away from the miracle of your pregnancy.  Enjoy every moment.  Plus, you are having twins...double the pleasure.

[babydreams9]

First off, CONGRATS!! Thats wonderful news, and I'm thrilled for you guys! Secondly... you're not being selfish. Being pregnant and being expectant parents is so exciting, and something you've looked forward to for a long, long time. You deserve to be in the spotlight and have all the attention on you. After the baby gets here, that'll change dramatically! :) I had a lot of dreams during my first trimester that my sister-in-law announced to everyone that she was pregnant too, due a week before me!! I even had a dream that my Mom was pregnant! lol.... anyway, what you're feeling is normal. The beginning stages of pregnancy are all about transition and adjustment - physically, emotionally, spiritually. In a few months you'll be comfortable w/your pregnancy and all things that come w/it - in fact you may even tire of having the spotlight on you! Remember that your pregnancy is unique and special and no one can take that away from you. Focus on yourself, your hubby, and your new little one cookin in there! Just because someone else is having a baby too doesn't make your baby or pregnancy any less special or less deserving of being celebrated. Live every moment and enjoy it - relax and enjoy the ride. :)