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Baby not growing after 8 week, and no heart beat
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Baby not growing after 8 week, and no heart beat

Hi Everyone. This is my first pregnancy, and when I found out in December I was pregnant I made an appt with the doctor to see how everything was going with my baby. When I went in I thought that I was 8 weeks, since they went by my last monthly cycle, but when the doctor did the ultra sound I was only 5 weeks. Then I went in the next week because I was sick with the flu, and they did another ultra sound to make sure everything was alright, and I was 6 weeks. But when I went in this Monday for my regular check up my doctor said that the baby had stopped growing, that there was something wrong with the baby, and that the baby hadn't developed right. There was also no heartbeart. He also said that I would have to have a procedure done to remove to baby. I don't know exactly what he said because I was just in a state of shock. But, he said for me not to rush into anything, and to wait a week to make sure about this. I just don't know what to think anymore. The baby was fine two weeks ago, and now something is wrong I just don't understand. Do you think that maybe the doctor just saw wrong with the ultra sound? Because when I had the ultra sound done I couldn't even see the baby in the sack like before all I saw was something really small in the lower corner, and I couldn't see much. I just don't know what to think. It has been so hard on my husband and I because this is our first pregnancy, and we had been trying for 3 years, and finally we got pregnant. I don't know what to do or think. It is just very hard right now for my husband and I. Do you have any advice? Thanks.
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Avatar_n_tn
Sorry your having to go throught this after such a long wait to become pregnant:( I have never been pregnant myself but have been ttc for around 9 months. If it was me i would do what your dr suggested and wait a week. You might even want to get a 2nd opinion, even if you think your dr is wonderful, it would probably ease your mind to get it double checked. Good luck i will be thinking about you:)
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Avatar_n_tn
Definately get a second opinion, there have been misdiagnosed miscarriages. But, if he saw the hb one week and didn't the next, chances are the baby stopped growing.  Lots of women on here have had the D&C procedure done which I think is what your doc is referring to.  I know it hard to swallow, but this is a natural way of your body telling you that there was something not right about the baby whether it was genetic or a malformation, whatever it was, it is nature's way of handling the situation.  There is nothing you did to cause this, it is completely natural.  I am so sorry you're going through this, but there is great support and information on this forum from women who have been down this road and can help you cope.
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Avatar_n_tn
I am so sorry that you are having to go through this...I had the same thing happen to me last week.  I went in last monday for an u/s.  I thought I was 9 1/2 weeks but the dr told me that the baby had stopped developing after 8 weeks...it really confused me because while I was in the u/s she told me that she saw a HB and then she told me that she wanted the dr to talk to me (by the way the dr that talked to me was not even my dr as mine had the day off).  I was so devestated and confused...I made an appt to go in for the d & c on 1/12.  My dr was the one preforming the surgury and I told him what had happened while he was off that day and he did another u/s before he preformed the d & c to make sure...unfortunately the u/s showed that the baby was not developing any more and that there was not a HB...I just want you to know that I know exactly what you are going through and I am so very sorry...I hope when you go in in a week that everything is fine.  You will be in my prayers!
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Avatar_f_tn
ditto for me.  the same with the development and hearbeat stopping.  devestating!!!!  i just never realized how common it is.  so sorry you have to go through this.  talk to us on this site.  we are here for you.  you are not alone.
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Avatar_n_tn
Hi everyone. I really appreciate hearing from you all. I can honestly say that when I read the posting yesterday, and today it truly made a difference for me, and it made me want to get my strength up again, and just be positive. But, it is just so hard on myself, and my husband. My husband is someone who is very strong, and he is always the one who brings me up when I am down. But, going through this is just so hard on him right now, and it just crushes me when I see him cry, and I try to console him, and give him the strength that he needs. Then I see how much it is also hurting my family my mom, and brother and it is just so devastating for all of us. Seeing my mother cry, and seeing my brother be so sad is just so hard. I made another appt. next week to see my doctor on monday 1-23-06 to be sure that he was correct with his diagnosis and then I also made another appt. for a second opinion the same day in the afternoon with another doctor. So that my husband and I can be sure exactly 210% that my doctor is correct in what his diagnosis is. We just want to make sure that my doctor diagnosed me right, and if the second doctor agrees with him then we will atleast be positive in what needs to me done. So I will find out for sure on monday what is going to happen. I am just so devastated, and it makes it harder because I really want my baby. Going through all of this is just so hard especially since it is my first time. I just want to stay in bed and not deal with all of this pain. Especially loosing my baby nephew Angel 4 years back just re-opens all of my old wounds and heartache. I just hurt so much, and I just am so sad and devastated. I honestly feel like it is my fault like maybe I could have done something to have prevented this. I feel like I am the one who brought all of this pain to my family, and it is just so hard. I am just so scared with what the procedure deals with. I have read all of these things online, and it just scares me, and of the pain. I really don't know what to think or believe when I read all of the articles. I just don't know what to expect or what is going to happen. I don't know how long it takes or if it is done in one day or two. I just don't know anything. I am just so scared if I get this procedure done that something wrong will happen, and I might not be able to have kids again. I just have all of these worries. Can someone please let me know alittle bit of info first hand. It is just hard reading things online because every site is different. I really appreciate you ladies replying to my post online, and THANK YOU for your prayers and thoughts. I know with your prayers and thoughts I will be able to deal with whatever my husband and I have to do, and deal with. Reading your postings online really has made me feel better, and have given me the strength that I didn't have before. You all have given me the strenght that I needed so desperately, and I look forward to talking more to you all. Thank you all for everything. God Bless you all, and I will keep you all in my prayers. You all are my Angels that I truly needed in my life with all of this happening, and I am truly grateful that I found this site where I can receive your guidance and help. Take care and God Bless you all!
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Avatar_n_tn
I had a D & C last thurs 1/12 and I was feeling exactly how you did...I read up on the internet and it scared the **** out of me.  But please please do not worry at all about the procedure...it will not cause you to not be able to have children....the procedure it self took 20 minutes...that is what my husband told me at least from the time he left me in the surgury waiting room to the time the doctor came out and told him that I was all right.  You are not going to feel a thing and when you wake up you will probably have some cramping (just like a heavy period) but the nurses will give you some pain medication and it will go away...all you will want to do after words is sleep.  The following day I had a little bit of cramping and spotting.  The DR gave me a prescription for vicodine (I didn't need it).  All I took was some tylenol and took it easy...the 2nd day my bleeding stopped and I felt fine physically..I am just waiting for AF to come now...after the procedure I felt a sense of closure, not that I was okay with everything that had happened but that I could start over again....I am not sure if this helps you at all but for me knowing that the worst was over and not having to wait for my body to pass the baby made me feel a lot better.  Knowing that my baby was still inside me hurt me the most.  So plese do not worry about the procedure, there are many many of us on here that have had it done and many many people that have gone on to have healthy babies afterwords...you are in my prayers.
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Avatar_n_tn
Hello, I wonder if anyone can advise me as I'm so worried after my early scan on Friday.

I was 7 weeks last Thursday and I went for an early scan as last time I miscarried at 7-8 weeks but only discovered it at 11 weeks and the early pregnancy unit advised me to come and have an early scan next time I was pregnant to reassure me.

Anyway at the scan on Friday I was told that the sac measured correctly for 7 weeks but the baby was only 4mm, and it was then suggested that I return at the end of this week to have a follow up scan.

I took my results form back the early pregnancy unit and they basically told me that it had happened again (miscarried) and the reason why I was asked to come back was just to make sure that was the case before they booked me in to have an ERPC (d&c). Although at the same time I was told to still treat it as a pregnancy just incase they were wrong. As you can imagine, my head is all over the place and I don't know what to think anymore.

Is there still a chance that my pregnancy will survive?
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Avatar_n_tn
Hi everyone. I wanted to update you on the lastest information. Well, last Friday 01-20-06 around 12 p.m. I had a light brown discharge. Well, I got really worried and I went in to see my doctor. I saw my doctor that afternoon, and he did an ultrasound, and I saw finally on there that I was having the miscarriage after all. I saw on the ultrasound where the baby no longer looked the same like before the baby looked once again like the baby looked like a circle when I found out during my 5 week exam. So my husband, my mom, and I knew right then and there that the baby had passed away already, and that the doctor had diagnosed me right the first time on Monday. I can honestly say that I was just so grateful to God we now knew 210% what had happened with the baby, and that we could now have a piece of mind knowing that if I had to do the d&c procedure atleast we knew for a fact that the diagnosis was correct. I then told the doctor that I couldn't bare to go through the miscarriage for a few days. Having to go through it for a few days was just going to make it harder for my husband and I to deal with the horrible situation. So he told me that he could produce the d&c procedure that day on Friday 01-20-06. I also told him that I was worried because I wasn't sure if I could deal with hearing the procedure done like my relative had to go through. And he told me that I would be asleep when the procedure was done in the hospital. Well, that made me feel sooo much better and at peace. I had the procedure done on Friday afternoon, and I was in pain that night, this past weekend. On Sunday I was sooo sore from my upper body. I felt like as if I had been beaten up. I took some aleve and I felt much better today. Today I feel alittle bit better. The doctor told me that I should be bleeding for a few days like when I have my period. But, when I talked to the nurse today when I made a follow up appt. she said that when I stop bleeding I might start bleeding later for about 3 or 4 weeks. Has anyone had that happen to them? Can you please let me know. It is just hard right now also because of the fact that we run into people and they congratulate us on our baby, and then I have to give them the bad news. But, I know that God has a plan for all of us, and this time just wasn't the one for us, but I know in my heart that we will have a baby one day. I can hardly wait. I am just grateful to God that we had a great doctor, and he said that he would help us out when we were ready to conceive. He said that he would also put me on fertility pills if I wanted too. Has anyone ever been on fertility pills? And if so how did they work out for you? My husband and I were very happy that our doctor was very supportive, and is always there to help us out. Going through all of this has just been a whirl wind, but I am somewhat very grateful that everything happened very quickly because atleast I can finally be able to deal with the situation, and not have to prolong the pain for all of us. It is just hard having to deal with all of this. Unfortunately, I had the miscarriage, and it has been hard on all of us because it was my first child ever conceived, but atleast I know that my baby is in Heaven with God, and with my nephew Angel. I know that one day I will see my baby in Heaven. Having all of your support during this very hard time in my life has truly made a great difference, and having all of your advice, and prayers I truly do appreciate from my heart. Thank you so much for everything. I have left it all up to God now, and I will definetely start to try to conceive in a few months. I just don't want to put the pressure on myself or my husband. We both decided that we would talk about it in a few months when I was ready. One great thing did come out of all of this. My husband works during the week from 5a.m.-6p.m. so he didn't want for me to be alone at home. So he bought me an awesome present! He bought me a basset hound. She is 9 weeks this week. She is sooo cute. I can honestly say that having this baby basset hound around has truly made me feel much better. She never leaves my side, and she always want to sleep on my chest or on my stomach. It just feels so good having this baby basset hound around the house now. The baby basset hound is just like having a new baby in the house because I have to feed her several times a day, we have to take her outside, play with her, and we are training her to be housebroken so we take her outside to do her business, and we have to give her attention, and show her how much we love her. She just loves to sleep with us. So she will be a great practice for me so that when I have a baby with my husband we can be ready with anything that comes our way. I know that she was meant for me because she is 9 weeks right now, and she is the exact week that I would be with my baby if I was still pregnant right now. And she was also born on November the 17th when my husband and I conceived our baby! I know that God made her for a reason, so that she could be with my husband and I during this very hard time in our lives. God sure does work in mysterious ways! I look forward to hearing from you Angels again, and you take care and your in my prayers. Take care always!
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It is so unfortunate that we can all relate to how you are feeling.  I was driving in the car one day in the past few weeks and i told my husband.. If i didnt know what it would be like i would go out right now and buy a puppy.. HAHAHA Instead i bought myself a pair of $120 ugg boots and i dont have to potty train those.. hehe.  I also demanded a massage for valentines day.  :-)   I love puppies.  I have a 1 year old Pembroke Welsh corgi.  Potty training him got me so frustrated.  He was such an easy dog to train too.. He is my baby and i dont know what i would do without him.  I can be crying my eyes out and there he is squeeking his toy like it went out of style.. so of course i have to stop and play with him.  Dogs really are the best therapy.  Good luck with your basset hound (I LOVE THOSE DOGS) what did you name him/her???  Oh, just like your dog, i believe that the ugg boots were meant for me ...

Oh yeah, i also requested a second ultrasound before i had my D&C.  i also felt 210% better.  The nurse in the ultrasound room (the second time) commented how she wouldn't have been able to remain that calm.  So i told her, I just came here to confirm what i already know.  I just needed that closure.  probably the same reason why people find it nessasary to view a dead body at a funeral.  Closure.  I wasnt expecting miracles. (ok maybe i was).. I just needed to know that they werent going to hurt my baby.  I cant wait to be pregnant again..  Good luck!
Staci
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Avatar_n_tn
Hi Everyone,
I thank God for this website.  I went in on Wed., 1/25/06 for my 4 month checkup when the doctor could not find a heartbeat.  I was sent to their other office where they have the high tech sono machine where the sono tech and doctor verified the news.  The tech said by the size of the baby it had stopped growing about 3 weeks prior.  At the time I was 17 weeks.  I was absolutely devasted and still am.  On Friday, I went and had the D&E procedure done which is a little more different from the D&C procedure due to the size of the baby.  Everything went fine with it and with out any pain after.  You were asking about the bleeding starting back up and lasting for about 3-4 weeks.  You should have been given medication after the procedure one which was to help the bleeding.  Once the medication is finished my doctor said most likely I would start bleeding heavier for a few weeks.  I hope that information helps.  I want to thank God for you all out there writing.  This is the hardest thing I and probably most of you have had to go through in life, and it is always good when we can communicate with others that have gone through the same thing.  I am having a really hard time, because my husband has closed up and I feel alone.  I cry everyday and feel so depressed.  If any of you have a way that you deal with this situation please write back. Thank you all for listening and we will all get through this when it is our time.  God Bless You All.
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Avatar_n_tn
It is kind of late and Im about to go to sleep but I just wanted to introduce myself and give a brief discription of the situation that I am going through. My name is Chasity Lawson and I am almost 18 years old. (a little young but the pregnancy wasnt planned, it just happened). So I found out that I was pregnant, talked to my doctor about prenatal care, and rearranging some appointments for check ups. So to skip a couple of days, I went on my 5 week app. and we checked to see if we could hear the heart beat yet. Well we didnt, so we scheduled another app. on the tenth week. I went on my tenth week which was 2-1-06 and still no heart beat. My doctor told me not to worry, she was going to set me up for an ultrasound that same day. So she set everything up and I went to another facility. The doctor there did the ultrasound but he couldnt see or hear the heart beat either. Now at this point Im wondering what was going on with me and the baby. A lot of ?'s went through my head. Then the doc went out and came back in with the bad news. My baby was going to be a miscarriage because it should already have a heart beat ans it didnt. I cried and cried wondering what I had done wrong or was it my fault or not. Then I went back to see my actual doc and she said that we would wait a week and then do another ultrasound (internal) and if nothing has changed then they would recommend a d&c to be done. I have to go to bed now with my boyfriend but if anyone could write about the d&c ans give me some info. I would really appreciate it a lot.

                                            THANKS A LOT,
                                                    CHASITY

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Avatar_n_tn
Hi how are you doing? I hope you are doing great. I just wanted to say Thanks for writing to me on here. I am so happy that I found this website. Just wanted to see how you were doing, and to let you know that my baby basset hound doesn't seem to want to get housebroken yet. But, I have faith in her that she will want to do it. By the way her name is Dorathy. How is your dog doing? I hope that your dog is doing great. I also wanted to wish you luck on getting pregnant also. I hope to also get pregnant once again this year hopefully. :) I am going to go and see my doctor on Monday Feb. 6th for a follow up appointment, and we are suppose to talk to him then about us trying again to get pregnant. He said that he would put me on fertility pills so that I could get pregnant sooner, so I am really excited about that. I am truly very lucky to have found such a great doctor. Well, hope to hear soon from you soon.
Take care.
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Avatar_n_tn
Hi how are you doing? I wanted to thank you for answering my question about the bleeding situation. I really appreciate that. I am really sorry to hear about your situation, especially also that your husband has closed up due to all of this. Going through this type of situation is very hard for everyone especially the parents of the baby. I know exactly how you feel, and about the crying everyday. But, it is good for you to cry, and let it out. That was my mistake I was holding it all in and being strong from my husband and I, and in the long run it just made things worse for me. Until I finally decided that I had to open up to my husband and my mom and just let it out about how I was feeling I started feeling better, and I finally started dealing with the whole situation. My advice to you is is your husband is having a really hard time about this and he is closing up to himself just keep on trying to talk to him. Even when he doesn't want to talk just keep on talking to him and let him know that both of you are going through this and you both need each other for moral support and help to lean on each other during this very hard time in your lives. Just don't give up on him. He will eventually come around it is just that he is deal with his grief of loosing his child his own way and unfortunately we all deal with grief in different way, but I know he will eventually come around to you. Also if you can talk to maybe your mom, your sister, brother or best friend and just let it out about how you are feeling and are going through it will truly make the grieving process much easier on you, and you will be able to handle it much better because you can let out all of your feelings about what is going on inside of you. Just remember that not to give up, keep your head up, and stay strong. Things happen in this world that we don't want to happen, but unfortunately they do, but the only thing that we can do is pray and not give up! I will keep you in my prayers. If you would like to talk to me more you can email me at ***@****. I will be more than happy to help you out in any way that I can. If there is anything else that I can do for you please don't hesistate to let me know, and please stay in touch and let me know how everything is going. I look forward to hearing from you. Know that this will only make your husband and you stronger people in the long run. It has truly been very hard for me, my husband, my mom, and my brother. This was my first child after trying 3 years to conceive, and then to have this happen was just one of the worst things to go through. I will keep you in my prayers, and I hope that you and your husband are doing much better, and as each day comes and goes your relationship is getting much better also, and that he is coming around once again. I look forward to hearing from you. Take care, stay strong, and pray. Keep your head up! Take care always
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Avatar_n_tn
Hi Chasity. How are you? I hope you are feeling much better. I was reading your posting, and I am sooo sorry to hear about your situation. As you know I too went through the same thing that you are going through right now, and let me tell you right off that I am so happy to hear that you doctor is making sure about everything, and not rushing into anything right away. My doctor was the same way he was very patient and told me to be patient and not jump into conclusions, but unfortunately he was right that the baby had stopped growing, and was no longer alive. Well, it just broke my heart and my husbands heart! This was one of the worst things I had to go through in my life along with losing my baby nephew Angel 4 years ago on Feb.11th. You were wondering about getting some info on the D&C. Well, when I went in to have the operation done I had it done in the hospital, and I was put to sleep, THANK GOD! I was so worried because I didn't want to be awake for the operation. What I wanted to know Chasity is what exactly would you like to know about the operation? Just ask me the questions and I will be more than happy to answer you. I too was very scared about the whole situation, and not knowing but these ladies here really helped me out, and if there is anything that I can do for you just let me know. You can ask me here or you can also email me if it would be more convenient for you at ***@****. what ever is easier for you. Just please don't worry Chasity everything will workout on it's own. I know it is easier said than done, but having gone through this situation myself two weeks ago I know exactly what you are feeling, and my advice to you would be if you are feeling something just let it out and talk to your boyfriend, mom, sibling, or your best friend. Because that is another thing that was very hard for me to do at first was to talk about it, but once I started talking about it with my husband and mom it made me feel so much better. I look forward to hearing from you Chasity, and I'll keep you in my prayers. I too am glad that I found this website because these precious ladies on here truly did help me out so much during this very hard time in my life right now, and I will help you out with any questions you may have. God Bless you and your family. Take care always.
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Avatar_n_tn
Hello. How are you doing? I hope that you are doing great. I just wanted to Thank you for your great advice. It has been really hard going through all of this but as each day comes and goes it gets alittle bit easier for me. I can hardly wait to start trying to conceive a baby again. I have my follow up appt on Feb.6th, and my doctor said that he was going to put me on fertility pills so that when we tried to conceive it would happen sooner instead of it taking so long. So we are going to talk about all of that with him, and to see when the time is right to start trying. But, what I told my husband is that I don't want to be stressing about getting pregnant like I did for the past three years. Because as soon as I decided to just leave it up to God, and not worry about it I got pregnant a few months later. But, I can hardly wait until I get pregnant thought! :) I too felt a sense of closure after the operation was done too. I wasn't happy at all about it, but I knew that the baby had passed away and there was nothing that I could do about it, because if I could I would of done it in a heartbeat. And once we went to the doctor on the Friday before my next appt. the following checkup to see if the baby was alright, I started bleeding, and the doctor then and there checked, and he told my husband, my mom, and I that I was already in the process of the miscarriage. So atleast I knew 210% that the baby had actually passed away like he had thought the first time in the previous appointment, and that once I had the operation done I knew in my heart that the baby wasn't alive anymore, but had moved on to a better place in heaven with God. So knowing 210% for sure what had happened has brought a BIG time sense of relief to my husband and I and our family. I had to operation done, and I am finally not sick anymore at all. I was really sick before the operation because the baby wasn't alive anymore, and my body was dealing with it in it's own way and that is why I was sooo sick. But, after that I have been feeling much better. I was bleeding after the procedure for about a week, and one night I had big blood clots coming out, but the nurse told me that was normal. Well, luckily that only lasted one day, and then after that a few days later the bleeding stopped. So I have been feeling much better physically, and mentally. Having the support of my husband and family truly has made the BIGGEST difference for me towards the positive way, and I am truly lucky to have them in my life. The only thing that I can do is leave it up to God, and I know that my baby is in heaven with God and with his baby nephew Angel. Thank you for all of your help and guidance, and write to me when you get a chance to let me know how you are doing and how everything is going for you. You take care, and I look forward to hearing from you. Take care.
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Avatar_n_tn
Hi, it is Chasity again and some of the ?'s i had about the d&c were, how does it feel, were u scared, what was it like after it was over, how did u feel after the whole process was finished(pain,soreness,etc.),and just anything else that u could say that would be helpful for me? i have already enjoyed entering medhelp because i really think that this could help me throughout the situation and over time. i feel as though it is my fault and i ask myself ?s everyday like, was it my fault, what did i do wrong, could i have prevented it, was it something that i or my boyfriend chris did? all sorts of things are running through my head at this point in my life. i never thought that this would happen to me, especially being that it is my first time pregnant. i know that most likely the doctors are all the time right but what pregnant women for the first time would believe that they were not having a continuing pregnancy? not me!! the baby wasnt planned but we never would have wanted something like this to happen to us or anyone else. we hope to try again soon if this is really what the doctors say it is. are u and your husband going to try again, if so how soon? if u dont mind me asking. i feel like i wont have full closure until i am pregnant again. is the strange for me to feel? well me and chris are about to watch a movie together but i will be looking forward to hearing from u soon i hope. u are also in my prayers too! everyone who is having any kind of problems with anything at all.

                                            THANKS A LOT,
                                                    CHASITY
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Avatar_n_tn
Chasity, Remember stay strong, and don't give up! You're in my prayers. Stay strong.
Take care,
Victoria
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Hi Chasity. How are you today? I hope you and your boyfriend are doing much better today. It was really great hearing back from you. Well, let me get to answering your questions. You wanted to know how did it feel? Well, when I has in the hospital waiting for the doctor to get there I was really nervous, and I just wanted to get the operation done as soon as possible because as time went on it just made me feel worse and worse knowing that my baby wasn't alive anymore, and I was just so sick all the time. I guess it was my body's way of letting me know things weren't right. Well, I finally went in for the operation, and I was really nervous when I got into the operating room and it was sooo cold. I was afraid of the unknown, and afraid that I wouldn't be able go to sleep when they gave me the medicine to sleep. Well, THANK GOD I did go to sleep in about less than 15 seconds after they put to sleep. Then when I woke up I was just so happy to be alive! I can honestly say I felt so much better mentally and physically. I just felt so much better I didn't feel so sick anymore. I guess what it was is that I finally was at peace with the whole situation finally being done, and now all I had to do was recover and deal with the situation at hand. Now don't get me wrong I was sad as heck to have this happen to me, but I just prayed to God and my family and friends prayer for me also and I honestly feel that God gave me the sense of peace I was searching for with this very hard situation. After the procedure I was bleeding, but it was due to the procedure and that was a part of it. I had some cramping, and I had a hard time peeing. Then the doctor gave me some tylenol #3 for the pain. I got home, and I took it and just fell asleep for a few hours. For the next two days I had a hard time peeing because I was in pain, but as soon as I would take the tylenol #3 the pain would go away, and I was finally able to pee. Although, the only bad thing about taking the tylenol #3 was getting constipated. So I chose to after the two days to start taking aleeve instead because I knew that it wouldn't get me constipated and I knew it would work. And sure enough it did help me with all of the pain I had from cramps, to my body aching. On the second day after the procedure I my body was really sore. BIG TIME. I felt as if I had been beaten up really bad all over my body. But, what it was was from them having to move me from bed to bed to and from the operating room and etc. Also the next day after the procedure I was back to doing things instead of taking it easy and it back fired on me, and that is why on the second day my body hurt so much also. So my advice to you is if you have to get this procedure done PLEASE take it very slow for a few days, and try to just relax and not do anything at all. Have you boyfriend help you out with as much as possible because you will need the help. Take my advice from my experience and just take it easy for a few days. It was very hard for me because I am use to always being on the go, and it just back fired on me big time. Also on the 4th and 5th day I start having blood clots come out when I went to the restroom, but the nurse told me that that was normal that was part of the procedure. I didn't like having to go through that for two days, but after that a few days later my bleeding went away. It was about 8 days that I had to go through the bleeding, but after that I finally stopped, and it went away. It was just the first two days when the bleeding was alittle bit heavy but after that it was like the 2nd to the last day of your period already getting light flow. So that was honestly the worst for me out of the whole procedure. But, everyone is different. Just because I bled for 8 days you might not. YOu might only bleed for 2 days. It just depends. Everyone is different. My sister in law also bled for about a week in a half after the procedure was done on her last year. The same thing happened to her like you and I. But, luckily she already has 3 children. But, after the whole procedure I can honestly say that everything was just going by very quickly, and I didn't have time to just think about the whole thing. And it was a good thing and bad thing for me. It was good because I was able to put my mind on other things, instead of getting depressed. But, once things started settling down my real feeling started coming out that I had held in because I wanted to be strong for my family, and it just made it harder on me. So my advice to you is to please if you have to have this procedure done please talk to your boyfriend, mom, sibling, best friend whomever and let them know exactly how you feel because I held it all in, and it wasn't good. I finally started feeling better about everything once I started telling my husband and mom exactly how I felt, and they were able to comfort me, and give he guidance and help. I too felt like you that it was my fault that I had done something to cause this. But, it wasn't my fault at all. I asked my doctor and he told me over and over that it wasn't. It is just something that happens 10-15% of people. But it was not anything wrong that I had done. He also told me that just because this happened this time it didn't mean it was going to happen the next time. These are just things that happen sometimes, but many women go on to have a successful pregnancy the next time around. So that did make me feel better. It was nothing that you or your boyfriend Chris did. Please believe me when I tell you that. Sometimes things happen in this world and we don't know why and we ask God why. But, just leave it all up to God, and I know you will get an answer one day. Also if you have to have this procedure done the doctor may be able to tell you why this happen. Sometimes what they do depending on how far along you are is they evaluate the remains to see what happened with the baby and in order to find out exactly what happened and why. So ask  you doctor about that. I too thought that this would never happen to me either especially since it was my first pregnancy too, after three years of trying with my husband. But, it did and I wish it wouldn't have happened this way, but unfortunately it did, and I just have to keep my head up, and keep on going strong. Yes, my husband and I do plan on trying to conceive once again. I have my follow up appointment on Monday Feb.6th, to make sure everything is alright after the operation. And the doctor said that we could start trying after a month once I get my period again. So hopefully in a month we will start trying again, because my husband and I are really excited to get pregnant once again. Two good things that did come out of all of this is that my husband and I got much closer. My mom, brother and I also got much closer. And we now know that I can get pregnant. Because for a long time I thought that maybe I couldn't get pregnant. But, atleast now I know that I can, and we can hardly wait to try again. I understand when you say that you won't have full closure until you get pregnant again. I totally understand how you feel. And that is fine. For me I felt a sense of closure once the operation was done, and I knew then and there that my baby was in heaven with God and my baby nephew Angel. After having the operation I felt a sense of closure because of the fact that I knew 210% that my baby had passed away, and that there was no doubt in my mind that my doctor was correct in his diagnosis. So I am grateful to God for that. I am really happy also that you have a really good doctor, and that your doctor is being extra careful before moving to having the operation done. You are very lucky to have a great doctor like that. I hope you don't mind me asking, but How is your boyfriend taking all of this? How are both of you two dealing with this? Well, Chasity please let me know how you are doing, and if there are any other questions I can answer for you. I am here to help you out, as the other great women helped me out during this very hard time in my life, and just let me know what else you need answered and I will answer you right away. I look forward to hearing very soon from you.
Take care,
Victoria
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Hi, it is Chasity again and some of the ?'s i had about the d&c were, how does it feel, were u scared, what was it like after it was over, how did u feel after the whole process was finished(pain,soreness,etc.),and just anything else that u could say that would be helpful for me? i have already enjoyed entering medhelp because i really think that this could help me throughout the situation and over time. i feel as though it is my fault and i ask myself ?s everyday like, was it my fault, what did i do wrong, could i have prevented it, was it something that i or my boyfriend chris did? all sorts of things are running through my head at this point in my life. i never thought that this would happen to me, especially being that it is my first time pregnant. i know that most likely the doctors are all the time right but what pregnant women for the first time would believe that they were not having a continuing pregnancy? not me!! the baby wasnt planned but we never would have wanted something like this to happen to us or anyone else. we hope to try again soon if this is really what the doctors say it is. are u and your husband going to try again, if so how soon? if u dont mind me asking. i feel like i wont have full closure until i am pregnant again. is the strange for me to feel? well me and chris are about to watch a movie together but i will be looking forward to hearing from u soon i hope. u are also in my prayers too! everyone who is having any kind of problems with anything at all.

                                            THANKS A LOT,
                                                    CHASITY
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hey i dont have that much time to write but i got what you wrote to me and i thank u for that. i just wanted to give u my screen name because i have some pictures on my profile of the ultrasound that they said i was going to miscarry. it is ***@****. notice the yoke on the u/s, that was another reason they said i was going to miscarry the baby. because the yoke should be lighter then what it is and something about the baby is supposed to feed off of it and it hasnt. so if u know anything about the yoke or c anything in the u/s u can talk to me about, i would like that a lot. well have to go but hope to hear from u soon.

                                          THANKS SO MUCH,
                                                    CHASITY
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DEAR CHASITY, HOW ARE YOU DOING TONIGHT? I HOPE YOU ARE DOING WELL. I
AM SO SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR DIAGNOSIS. I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND ME
ASKING BUT ARE YOU TOO DEALING EVERYTHING HAPPENING RIGHT NOW? I HOPE
THAT YOU BOTH ARE DOING WELL. ESPECIALLY YOU. I WANTED TO EMAIL YOU SO
THAT YOU COULD EMAIL ME THOSE PICTURES OF THE ULTRASOUND. I DON'T HAVE
AN AOL ACCOUNT AND I AM NOT SURE HOW I CAN ACCESS YOUR SCREEN NAME.
THAT IS WHY I AM EMAILING YOU ABOUT IT. SO WHAT DID THE DOCTOR TELL
YOU ABOUT THIS. WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN NOW? LET ME KNOW WHAT IS GOING
ON OK. WELL, I'M GOING TO SEND THIS ON IT'S WAY. I HOPE TO HEAR VERY
SOON FROM YOU. TAKE CARE AND YOUR IN MY PRAYERS, VICTORIA
PS STAY STRONG, AND DON'T GIVE UP CHASITY! :)
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Hi all...

One of my very good work collegues (and good friends) has just experienced a VERY similar situation.  She and her partner have been trying for a child for the past 12 months, and FINALLY... they got the news that they were pregnant!

Unfortunatly, she went in for her 8 week scan, and no heart beat.

:(

I feel so sad for her (and for all of your losses.), and cannot imagine how much it must hurt.

Anyway, i will be sending her the link to this forum as I cannot think of any other way to provide my support.

Thank you for being so open and honest in your comments, it is refreshing and so important.

My thoughts are with you all... (and to you Lisa most of all!)

Stay positive!  Remember, for every sunset... there is a sunrise.

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Please have your friend write us.  I have really established a great friendship with one of the ladies on this site.  If it weren't for her I would be so alone with this situation.  I found out my baby didn't have a heartbeat at 17 weeks.  It has been the hardest thing in life I have had to endure so far.  So, let your friend know we are here for her and it helps so much to talk to someone that has gone through this.  It has definately helped me alot.  Hope to hear from her soon.
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Hi, I am in a similar situation and could use some words of comfort or stories of similar situations.  I went in for my 8th week OB appt. and first u/s.  The doctor said fetus looked smaller than expected and couldn't find a HB.  He commented maybe I was earlier than 8 weeks.  He sent me to a lab where they did extensive u/s.  No HB.  Doctor told me it was bad news and I would m/c.  Recommended I could get a D & C, take some medicines to speed it along or wait for it to pass naturally.  I may be clinging to false hope but I wonder if I could possibly be starting my 5th week of actual embryonic development and that's why there's no HB?  my doctor said we could check it again in one week with u/s (unless I started bleeding earlier).  Has anyone been in a situation before where no HB b/c too early but there was a HB later?  I feel really sad.  I really thought this pregnancy would be okay.  I seem to have no trouble getting pregnant but they m/c early.  I had 2 m/c before--one at 6 weeks and 1 chemical pregnancy.  But, then drs. discovered I had pre-diabetes and I got my blood sugar under control.  I really thought that was the reason I'd m/c before and that this time, my pregnancy would be fine.  In my last 2 pregnancies, I had spotting.  But in this one, I had no spotting and the first blood test my doctor did on 7/27 showed good progesterone levels and normal hcg levels.  I know it's Nature's way and everything, but I just am clinging (delusionally?) to the hope that a heartbeat will miraculously occur this week.   I'm sad.  My husband's my rock and so positive but I know he's sad too, but keeping a strong face on for me.  I feel guilty too b/c I had a bronchial infection 2 weeks ago and a few times, my blood sugar went a bit high and I wonder if that's what caused it.  Sigh.
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I feel for all of you that are going thru this trying time.  My husband and I have tried for 2-1/2 years to have a baby, and finally turned to IVF (invitro fertilization).  We got our positive pregancy result on Christmas Eve!  Our first ultrasound followed a few weeks later and we got to see all 8.4cm of our little one.....including the heartbeat!  It all looked normal. We returned a few weeks later (at week 8) for the next ultrasound and got the confusing news that our little one was no longer there.  I could SEE movement similar to the hearbeat from before but was told it was just vascular action.  They then mentioned the possibility of a  "Molar Pregnancy".  So we left the office STUNNED and consulted the internet.  Of course the internet has too much info, so now I added the harsh word "Cancer" to my fears as well.  After reading the info on Molar Pregnancys we decided to go the D&C route rather than letting nature take its course.  That way we could get the verdict on if the Molar was caner or not.  The Doctor left a message that the test results came back "OK".....?  So now what?  I go back tomorrow for blood work.....and I have about 1000 questions.
I am just so sad and angry.  Am I am sick and tired of everyones meaningless platitudes...."It was God's will"..."There is a reason for everything"..."God never gives you more burdne than you are able to bare"....blah, blah, blah.  AND I have two dear friends that are also pregnant. I am so happy they still have the hope and faith and joy....but it makes me so sad.  I guess "Time heals all pain"......right?????
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Does anyone still view this site? My husband and I just had an appointment today at 12 weeks to have some genetic testing done. They performed the ultrasound and told us the baby had stopped growing at 11 weeks and there was no heartbeat. Our world has just stopped. This was our first pregnancy and we were so excited to be parents and welcome this little one into the world. Reading over these posts have helped me so much already. Just knowing we're not alone and it's more common than I think. What kills us the most is we just heard the heartbeat at 10 weeks..they were even able to pick it up on the doppler having telling us it might be too early for that..but there it was..! Now 2 weeks later we find out we lost it. It's so confusing. I hope someone out there is reading this. I go in on Tuesday (9/15) to have the D&C done. Do you recommend having them do one more ultrasound before the surgery just to make sure? God grant us all the peace to heal from this.

hopeful to hear back from someone..
lindsey
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HI, I AM SO SORRY TO HEAR THAT! THE EXACT THING HAPPENED TO ME AND I JUST HAD AN SUCTION ABORTION THE BABY WASN'T DEVELOPING SO THEY HAD TO REMOVED IT BECAUSE OF THE BLEEDING IT WAS CAUSING! IT IS REALLY HARD TO GO THROUGH THAT BUT IS FOR YOUR HEALTH! AND YOU CAN STILL TRYING! THANK YOU AND MAY GOD BLESS YOU!
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You are honestly so strong, i am going through the same thing right now. I am 20 years old and was supposed to be 13 weeks yesterday but found out on friday that at 8 weeks the baby had quit growing and had passed away. I couldnt even believe it because i hadnt had any pain or bleeding and i felt so numb and in denial. I felt so sick that for 5 weeks after the baby had passed i still felt pregnant and never suspected a thing. I am now on thursday going to have the d and c procedure and am hoping for the best. my pregnancy had brought my family so much closer together and i just will be praying for all you women who are going through this pain and i wish you all the best.
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Hello,
I am 9 weeks pregnant and diabetic. I went in to see the perinatologist today and found out that my baby stopped developing after 8 weeks. It was the most devastating news especially after finally getting pregnant for the first time at 34. My boyfriend and I were trying for 2 yrs and it finally happened and I was elated since its been my biggest desire to conceive. I am just hurt and feel like theres no hope for me although I want to remain positive. My D&C is scheduled for Friday, but I wish for another u/s before the procedure gets done. This is so devastating. Didnt realize how common this situation was.
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hi everyone i have had two miscarriages both occurring in the same way except i never get to hear a heart beat i just get told the baby stops growing at 6 weeks but i dont have the miscarriage until im 11 weeks well i believe im pregnant again this would be my 3rd time this year my doctors will not tell me if anything is wrong with me until i lose a third one its very stressful but i just feel like a 3rd miscarriage is gonna happen again and so i dont even wanna really care until i actually hear a heart beat or see a growing baby my husband wont talk to me about this because with the army he is never home to talk to me except evenings when hes really tired and doesnt wanna do anything but sleep if i am pregnant and lose again im going to be devastated has anyone else lost 2 but then had one after the 3rd try being a first time mother?????
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I just found out today that my baby never developed. I don't even know when and why it stopped developing. I am supposed to be on my 10th week. I felt devastated when my doctor gave me the news. I asked for a second ultrasound just to confirm that there's really no baby anymore because I just feel like he's just there. But it didn't take me a while to realize that everything happens for a reason. I know God knows what's best for me. And what gives me peace is the fact that I know he/she is always going to be m y little angel.
I haven't had 2 miscarriages  but I totally feel you, especially being a first time mother. But try not to worry about it and just try to be positive that the 3rd pregnancy will be successful. I will keep you in my prayers.  
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Hi everyone, im not sure what to say, my wife and i just found out today after 9 weeks that we have to remove our baby, this is our second miscarriage, from a husband's point of view, there are no words to describe how i feel, but the only thing i could say to my wife is, not too loose faith in GOD,  GOD has his reasons why he allows these type of things to happen to good people, honest people, i know its not fair when there are woman that fall pregnant that does not even want there baby's, and end up having the healthiest baby's. As a husband, i choose to believe that god has a greater plan, dont get me wrong, im grieving too, but i believe GOD will come through for me and my wife, and i believe he will come through for you too, dont give the devil a chance to weaken your faith, notice i capitalised GOD, reason, while you remain faithfull, and believe in his greatness, he will bless you, but not when it suits you, when he feels the time is right. I know it's only human to feel this way, but i beg you, dont lose faith in GOD. MAY GOD BLESS EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU.
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I went for my 12 week scan today and the baby had stopped developing at 9 weeks and has no heart beat. I have opted for the D&C which will be on Tuesday. I'm terrified and just want some advice. We have been trying for 2 and a half years and this was our first pregnancy.
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