So I am now 35 wks and I need to make up my mind. This is a complicated one. My DF is not circumcised and insists that our son be the same. I have very mixed emotions. Any thoughts or facts that could help me out?
First off, whatever the decision is make sure you both are happy and comfy with it or it could cause a huge mess down the road.
Im going to inform you of my sisters children her 2 boys and what I have seen, and just be open minded reading this, as it is graphic.
My sister has 5 kids, 3 girls and 2 boys. The boys are NOT circumsized which is fine because those are her beliefs. Her oldest son is 6 and has Autism really bad, to the point where his mentalitiy is of a 6 month old. Her youngest son is 4 and is emotionally and mentally stable. In the past 6 years these boys have had nothing but problems with their genital area. They have gotten infections so bad on their penis that my sis has to have her oldest son in the hospital for daily cleaning and wrapping. The youngest had such a severe infection that he still to this day has a catheter in his bladder to help him urinate, the infection started under the foreskin and made it's way to his urinary tract.
The crack, bleed, puss, and so forth on a regular basis. It makes bath time hard on my sister because she has to be the one cleaning their penis as they do not do it well enough or the correct way. If the forskin isn't kept clean and free of bacteria, infection and debris it can actually grow to the penis and therefore making it impossible to slide the skin back to clean or urinate. The 6 year olds penis has been so inflamed that the doctors were concearned with his circulation down there and the possability of it *working* properly. He has under went a circumcision last week, his youngest brother goes in for his next month.
It has been a horrible long road for my sister and her boys, it is so much easier to keep clean, and how males tend to half *** everything, they need stuff cut down to size and made easier to maintain. It takes a lot of work and patience to teach them exactly how to clean that area. I am pregnant with my 3rd boy and you can bet your bubble he will be circumsized. I was not going to circumsize my sons until I seen what my sisters kids have gone through. I dont want my kids going 4 and 6 years down the road and finally have to be ordered by a doctor to have them circumsized, it's to painful emotionally and physically.
I know adult men going and getting their circumcisions done at 20 and 30 years old, and it hurts like hell for them, and the pain will be something that they will always remember. As infants it is easier for them to heal, and actually heals faster than the umbilical cord can fall off. They will never remember the pain they felt, if there is any, as they do a pretty good job in numbing that area as to not stress the baby out.
There is NO medical research that says either way is better or healtheir, it is all based on your beliefs and feelings about either or. Do what you feel would be best for your son, not best for you or your DH.
Just because DH isn't circumsized, doesnt mean he didnt go through any health issues not being circumsized, and he just doesn't remember.
These are my reasons for circumcision-
1) Cleaner and easier to take care of
2) I dont want him being looked at differently because his penis doesn't look like everyone elses, especially in schools or sports these days, kids can be cruel.
3) Hubby is circumsized
4) Getting it done as a newborn makes it a lot less stressful as if he would have it done down the road.
I was going to allow my sons to grow up and make their own choice on wether to be circumsized or not because hubby and I couldnt come up with an agreement, but seeing how my sisters husband got circumsized at 32 after seeing why he had UTI's all the time, and watching his kids go through the same, I decided to have it done, and if they don't like what it looks like, then I dont have to worry about grandkids lol.
Just make the best decision for baby, don't do it because hubby isn't circumsized or because it runs in the family, do what you feel would be the best outcome for your son in the long term.
BTS had a lot of wonderful information and she's right---one way is not proven healthier than another. There was an inconclusive study done that said circumsision may reduce the risk of certain cancers in men.
My personal opinion won't help in your decision, but I will just state that we plan on circumsizing any boys we have! There is a new way to circumsize that does not involve cutting. My SIL used this method with her son. It was a ring that placed on the foreskin that cut off the circulation to the skin, causing it to die and fall off. My nephew never seemed to mind it and it didn't seem painful (he didn't cry or anything).
But again, do what is best for BABY, not your hubby.
There is no recognized pediatric association in the world today that endorses routine infant circumcision. The US is the only industrialized nation in the world that routinely circumcises its infant boys. The vast majority of the rest of the worlds men are not circumcised.
Here is the care that an uncircumcised male infant penis needs:
Wash the outside with a warm wascloth during baths. That's it. You wash the penis as you would a finger. You do not pull back the foreskin or anything else. Nothing could be easier.
Rarely, a little boy may have an irritation of the skin of the foreskin, or even a minor infection. Just as little girls may sometimes get a vaginal irritation or minor infection. These are easily treated with antibiotics. If you get frequent infected hangnails, you wouldn't cut off the top of your finger to prevent it, now would you? You would treat it easily, and go on with your life.
Infections of the foreskin in intact little boys are minor and not common.
Remember that you are making a decision to change the way your baby boys genitals look and function, WITHOUT HIS CONSENT. It can always be done later. It can never be undone.
Infants are given a local anesthetic for circumcision and strapped to a board to stop their movement during the surgery. Older babies, toddlers, or young boys are given general anesthesia for this painful procedure. The only reason we don't give full anesthesia to infants is that they can't communicate their pain quite as well as children or adults, so we pretend that it doesn't matter "Oh, they won't remember". Older children and adults are also given strong pain medication later for pain control Infants are seldom given anything but Tylenol drops.
I suggest that forever changing the appearance of a male persons genitals should be a decision made by the owner and operator of the genitalia.
That's not a new way. Its similar to the old Plastibell device, that was implicated in causing some rather severe infections.
The infant still has to receive local anesthesia, and there still is an incision into the foreskin to get the ring or bell on, and a suture to hold it in place.
It still alters what God created in His plan (I'm assuming you would agree that God did create humans, right?) and forever changes the appearance, function, and sensation of this organ, a natural organ that has fuction well for centuries before we decided to lop the skin off the top so it would look better.
Most other countries do not circumcise. And their men do fine.
For my husband and I there was never really any question about circumcision. There really wasn't a discussion between us...we asked each other if we wanted to have it done and we both agreed. I just feel that my son will be more comfortable being circumcised. I remember in school hearing all the girls giggle and talk about the boys who weren't. I also personally believe it's cleaner and I DO agree with BTS that many men DO half way do things. We circumcised my 3 yo and will do the same with this little boy on the way. You and DF really need to discuss it...if you haven't already...find out what his specific reasons for not wanting it done are...OTHER than he isn't.
peekawho, thank you for your information! I understood it to be a more recent procedure but I've been wrong before. And actually God ordained that holy men be circumsized. But if the original poster is not a Christian, I do not understand why you would bring God up. It's about HER beliefs.
Im from Dominican Republic, and most bouys get circumsized. My husband is, my brither is, even my dad is...
Its more hygienic, better to take care of, and, I can assure you, your son will than you for life when he's older.
Thank you all so much for your input. The funny thing is that religion is part of why I'm having a hard time with it. I do understand that God had something to do with where circumcision came from but even DF's family is religious.....they just don't agree with circumcision. Although we have had little discussion about it, I already know that DF is very firm about what he wants. I'm still so tossed up that I don't know if just doing it because everyone else does is worth the possible upset in our relationship. This is the only thing that we have really hit a rock about. Does that help you all understand a little more where I am coming from?
I agree with BTS and I can say that I am having my little man circumsized, not only because thats how my DH is but it is easier for him to care for... I dont know if this is true but I have heard that a circumsized pee-wee reduced the risk of STDs compared to a uncircumsized one where the STD can stay and grow under the foreskin.. Agian I am not sure if that is proven or even a fact but I thought I would bring that up... Best of Luck in your decision.
Linzola1, Crcumcision doesn't decrease the chances of STD's in men, it was thought that back a few years ago but has turned up an incunclusive result in their studies.
If religion is the cause of the battle then I commend you for trying to make everyone happy, but the point is don't do it to make EVERYONE happy, do what you think will make your son happy.
People will get pissy about it, but who in the family is going to be looking at the boys penis on a regular basis....who in the family has to live with the decision that you and DF or DH are trying to make.
If my hubby said he was 100% firm on NOT circumsizing my boys, My exact words would be, you can bathe him for the next 6 or 7 years, YOU can stay up night after night when he has a painful infection and is crying in the middle of the night and YOU can take him to the ER or doc appointments when he does get an infection.
Peekawho had a great point, you dont cut your finger off because of hang nails BUT this is a penis not a finger.
Yes, circumcision is painful and sure getting it done *****, BUT WHY would you decide to let you son have infection after infection (if it does happen) and have them suffer from that pain over and over, when you can circumsize and not have the infections or irritations at all?
As far as you wash it like a finger, well im not so sure of that, you have to clean under your finger nails dont you? Stuff builds up under the foreskin and therefore needs to be cleaned. Its like a vagina, you dont just take a warm wash cloth to the outter lips, you usually keep the inside clean as well however you clean it is your choice.
As far as making a decision for someone who can't voice their own opinion, thats life, many kids cannot go through surgeries or non medical stuff without parental say so until they are 18.
Just make the choice that you feel is right for your baby, do a lot of research, and as far as them tying the infant down when it's down, I never seen it done that way as I was allowed to watch my kids get circumsized, all they did was pop on a lil cap over the head of the penis and eventually it fell off.
I'm late here, but I just wanted to give my opinion and experience.. I know there is different ways of doing it, so firstly I want to say they had cut my boy's at the hospital, the pediatrician did it.. It didn't take long, he didn't seem in pain until he peed the first time and we fixed the gauze and all.. Anyways, it didn't take too long to heal up, and it wasn't as big of a deal as I thought it would be, although I kind of wanted to cry seeing it the first time, lol.. But I think that it should be done, IMO because it is much healthier and cleaner. You won't have to worry about the skin growing over the hole and them being unable to pee. Or wanting to get it done later in life when they will remember it, because you did not as a baby.. They will not have to take special care of it to make sure it doesn't get infected by n ot cleaning under the skin. To me, personally it is just sensable to get it done. It's not that big of a deal really, it heals up quickly. My son's did before his umbilical cord even came off and all I had to do was keep vaseline on it to keep it from sticking to his diaper.
hi there - congrats on ur upcoming birth! im due in about 8 weeks!
first and foremost the decision is only up to you and your dh but i would recommend weighing up all of the pro's and con's first. i would recommend some research first.
personally speaking i am strongly against circumsion as i have seen the downfall and physcological/ physical impact it can have negatively. most of my family are circumscised and as far as i know have had no implacations (however i hardly discuss this topic with my dad and bro's very often lol...)
my husband how ever was circumscised also as an infant and to this day suffers alot of trauma from the fact of having it done. it causes him physical discomfort and also alot of physcological repercussions. its hard to explain why he feels this way but worth a thought considering these days circumsiscion really is physically and medically unessecary unless recommended.
id hate to push my opinion of it on you with all the ins and outs of why not to do it but if you do want more information on the cons of circumscion feel free to pm me and i'll be happy to share some perspective with you as a different view.
my DH was not circumsized and he had a lot of trouble as a young child due to not being circumsized so we decided to have our son circumsized...but all boys do not have problems if they're not circumsized....just be happy in whatever you decide and best of luck with your decision!!
Circumcision = less health problems and IS proven to be more sanitary (i.e- less U.T.I.'s in circumcized males).
I am Jewish so we do this as a cermonial ritual 8 days after birth, and there is no "strapping" the baby to a board. I don't want to get into it any further than that.
With that said, I do NOT want to start a debate...
I think everyone should do what is within their own beliefs systems, but my humble opinion is that circumcision is cleaner and easier to maintain and is a standard of general practice in the U.S. regardless of religious beliefs. I hope this helps.
Once again thank you all for your input. I am super busy at work trying to get ready for my leave so I apologize for the time in between my responses. Everyone has definitely helped with both views. I think I will do some more medical research and go from there. I can't believe how much is just personal opinion tho. Not a whole lot of medical back up if you ask me. I guess that's why I'm stuck right? LOL Thanks again girls!
You're right, there really isn't a lot of medical info, just opinions. If you truly want a religious spin on why to go with circumsision (or not), please speak with your pastor. If you don't have a pastor, you can always call one up and see if they'll be willing to meet with you to answer some questions.
or also look up on what is actually involved with a circumsiscion and the trauma ur little one goes through (they do not remember it, yes... but they certainly feel it at the time). even do what we did and look up and watch an actual circumscion procedure. changed my mind very quickly.
I'm not going to circumsize my baby boy because that is the way he is born and I want him to stay that way it really should be up to my son wheather or not he wants to be circumsized or uncircumsized. My boyfriend and brother are uncircumsized and never had problem you just need to know how to clean the penis. I would have been really pissed if my mother circumsized me. Your also cutting off some of his pleasure. But honestly the two of you NEED to agree on this one together.
Frequently Asked Questions About Circumcision
Ryan McAllister, Ph.D., Executive Director of NotJustSkin.org and others.
One of NotJustSkin's primary missions is to educate the public about violations of informed consent or bodily integrity. In the U.S., male genital cutting, more often called circumcision, is commonly practiced even though parents rarely receive the information that would be required to give informed consent to any other procedure. Circumcision is the only procedure where a doctor can legally amputate part of a nonconsenting child without any medical reason.
The following are answers to some commonly asked questions about circumcision. Further questions and suggestions can be directed to Ryan, above.
Isn't circumcision just a little snip?
In a typical infant boy, the foreskin is a double-sided sleeve of skin and soft mucosal tissue that completely encloses the glans (glands) (the head of the penis). It is actually physically bonded to the infant's glans (glands). This skin contains thousands of blood vessels and specialized nerves. In an adult, it would grow to cover 12-15 square inches. Circumcision removes this part of the penis. The operator forces a metal clamp inside the foreskin, and tears the skin away from the glans (glands). The operator then slices the foreskin down past the glans (glands) and cuts the foreskin off. The entire procedure is excruciatingly painful. Infant circumcision is performed without adequate anesthesia, since anesthetizing such a young infant can be very dangerous. Partial or complete amputation of the penis sometimes occurs. Some children even die from the trauma, hemorrhage, or other complications.
What problems can occur after the initial surgery? Are there complications?
Immediately after circumcision, a child is at risk for infection and hemorrhage. The loss of the protective foreskin places him at risk for complications including meatitis (inflammation and ulceration of the urinary meatus), meatal stenosis (constriction of the meatus, resulting in blocked urinary flow and potential infection), preputial stenosis (scarring that constricts the glans (glands)), and buried penis (entrapment of the penis by scar tissue). Together, these conditions, which are almost unheard of in non-circumcised males, affect up to 20% of circumcised males and may require additional surgery.
A circumcised male may also experience chafing and abrasion of the exposed glans (glands) against clothing, painful erections due to the tightened skin, scarring, and desensitization that can severely reduce enjoyment of sexual activity. A circumcised penis may be significantly smaller than it would otherwise have been. For more information, see the Circumcision Information Resource Center, under "Complications of circumcision."
What is the value of the foreskin?
The foreskin has protective, sensory, biomechanical, and immunological functions. Throughout life, the outer part of the foreskin protects the sensitive inner part of the foreskin and the glans (glands) from injury, abrasion, chafing, and infection. The foreskin keeps its mucosal tissue and the glans (glands) soft and moist so that it maintains sensitivity. During sexual activity, the foreskin glides up and down over the glans (glands), providing sensation from thousands of specialized nerve endings in the inner foreskin. Parts of the foreskin, including the frenulum (a narrow membrane on the underside of the foreskin) and the ridged band (the edge of the foreskin, between the inner and outer skin), are particularly important in sexual function. See the Circumcision Information Resource Center, under "Foreskin sexual function." Circumcision removes most of the inner and outer foreskin, and destroys these functions.
The foreskin secretes immunological substances that fight infection, called lysozymes, and also produces natural lubricants, reducing the need for artificial lubricants during sex. The presence of the foreskin can enhance the sexual experience for both partners. Polls of women who had experienced both circumcised and uncircumcised partners indicated a strong preference for the latter, with longer duration of coitus and higher rate of orgasm cited as the main reasons (for example, see "The effect of male circumcision on the sexual enjoyment of the female partner").
i have a little boy we choose no to curcumsize, due to researching it, my DH has been done, but we choose not to get ds done cause of the infections that the surgery can cause, we saw a picture of a little boy who got staph infection in the genital area and it ate away at his skin, check out this website of this poor little boy
Again, the debate returns "debateable" results.. : ) I do think you an DH should come to a conclusion you are both comfortable with, but I did find this article and it may be of some interest to you. Good luck hun!
*******"Dr Andres agrees that circumcision is a potent preventive measure against infant kidney infections and HIV, but downplays the significance. Infant kidney infections cannot be dismissed; they occur when the kidney is still developing and often result in renal damage with scarring. As for HIV protection, HIV is a serious plague of our times, resulting in more than 20 million deaths over the past 2 decades, mainly in sub-Saharan Africa. Even in developed countries such as the United States and Canada, with a lower prevalence than Africa, there is public health concern. In April 2007 the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention convened a conference of experts to take up the question of adult circumcision for high-risk men in the United States.
The protective effects of circumcision against other serious disorders have been well documented in major medical journals in recent years. 1 – 4 These include lowering the risks of human papillomavirus, penile cancer, cervical cancer in female sexual partners, Chlamydia infection, syphilis and chancroid, phimosis, local infection, and genital dermatoses. Circumcised men have easier lifetime genital hygiene. Depending on how you lump these, there are 7 to 11 proven preventive health benefits of circumcision versus the single risk of surgical complications, which the American Academy of Pediatrics lists as occuring in 0.3% to 0.5% of cases and as usually minor. That is at least a 7:1 benefit-to-risk ratio. How can Dr Andres conclude that the risks outweigh the benefits?
Parents have the right, if not the duty, to agree to a proven preventive health measure for their infants. The proven medical benefits of circumcision far outweigh the risks, and a circumcised newborn boy has a lifetime health advantage. "********
Again.. GOOD LUCK!! I just wanted you to have some documentation from the supporters of circumcision as well. This is a tough decidion and I wish you and DH all the luck in the world making the decision that works for you!
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