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Avatar universal

Do I Pursue Financial Support From the Father?

Hey ladies! I never post things like this, but I am genuinely at a loss. I live in Louisiana and my baby's father and I are not together. I had decided to never ask him for a single thing, because I truly believe that a parents who supports their child has a right to custody. I have been very concerned about whether or not he will actually stick around and not break my baby's heart with his typical disappearing act. We dated for about 2 months before I was pregnant (despite loestrin 24), so it's safe to say I rushed things and wasn't aware of the type of person he is. He has 2 children, one from a previous marriage, and he is rarely a part of their lives. He doesn't even speak to his 10 year old son. Since our split, I have discovered that he uses drugs pretty heavily. Now-here's the problem; I sat down to do a budget this evening, I cannot afford to pay my student loans, plus rent (I am a Florida resident, so I will be renting a place here in LA) as well as my health insurance. I already have a job, but I don't think it'll be enough. Do I pursue him for child support, risking the chance of him having some legal right to partial custody? I don't want that. Also, his six year old daughter adores him, however rare her chance to do so. I HIGHLY doubt I'll get a dime. So jail time is inevitable. Do I pursue support, knowing that I will be taking away a little girl's daddy? I am so torn and am wondering what y'all think. I don't want to hurt his daughter-but ultimately, I am responsible for MY child.
7 Responses
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5305961 tn?1366462854
Heres what I know to be true in Michigan. If you for any reason go on to support from the government they are going to want to know who the father is because they are going to want reimbursement for paying for the child. Being that you are not married to him chances are that the state will automatically start a child support case . They did that to me and my husband ( we were dating then) but we had to fill papers to cancel all that stuff. I hate the system of child support. It's nonsense. If they don't pay they go to jail, if they are in jail they can not work, causing the people to pay for them in jail... what a bunch of crock. I was always against child support, but believed the father is just as responsible for raising the child as I was. Child support is meant for the child, not mommy getting new kicks and all that.  
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Avatar universal
I would pursue it because its not just your responsibility to take care of the baby. He's aware of the consequences because he has other kids. But as far as taking custody if he's not fit to care for her the court will NOT grant him custody.
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4591205 tn?1410605174
i would pursue it it seems to me that he wouldnt try anyway seeing that he already has 2 that he doesnt care about
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
If he isn't there for his son, I'm sure he will leave his daughter sooner or later as well. He helped make your baby and is just as responsible. I hate student loans! You get an education so you can support yourself and get a degree, then spend half if not more of your money trying to pay them back. Good luck with them and everything else. And definetly try for Medicaid if you can like the girl above said. It will help a lot! :)
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Avatar universal
Have you called your student loans and asked about delaying your payments? Thats what i did and i have til Dec to figure it out which is good since my baby is due in a month. My husband and i.just cant afford everything at the moment til we get caught up.again :( if you could get that done and get medicaid started then you should have a little help without asking your baby daddy for it which im sorry to say sounds like he doesnt worry about his kids :(
Good luck!! Hugs
Helpful - 0
5094917 tn?1366986485
He steps up**
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5094917 tn?1366986485
To me it seems like in a way you know what you wanna do. If you really need the help then go for it and just hopes he steps you have to do for your child. Its not like your doing something illegal your taking the right path you just dont want to hurt anyone in the process. If it was me I would because im not doing it to be evil im doing it to support my child. Good luck you can message me if you need more advice!
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