I know what ya mean. But the difference is that my fiancé is going to support any choice I make. My plan is to go as natural as I can, but I've decided to be flexible with it as well. From my talks with nurses and the staff at the hospital, and from other ladies who have done it, it seems like the biggest thing is to have a good support group and to prepare before hand. Research different birthing centers and hospitals, and see what they allow and what their experiance is with different birthing styles. There are also different ways to go naturally, such as water birthing or just birthing on land. Another big thing is, don't set yourself up with only one expectation in mind. If this is your first, you don't know how the pain will be for you. Plan to be flexable so that when you do give birth you're not disappointed with yourself. It doesn't make you any less if you end up being medicated.
first off let your doctor and nurses know that you want to try to go natral and that if you cant you want the option of pain meds. Also you should have a serious talk with your hubby about whos body it is. Men couldnt possible understand the amount of pain a woman goes through giving birth.
Just a few things I learned when I went natral with my 2nd is
1)do what ever is more comfortable for you. position wise. Its very hard to manage pain natraly when you are lying in a bed. There are alot of diffrent positions that may help you if you choose to go med free. A ball, a hot bath, walking, leaning against a wall and having your DH rub the small of your lower back when a contraction hits.
2) You will not die from the pain. I know this was a hard one for me to remember, lol. The pain is only temporary and in the end you will have the greatest gift ever!! But if there comes a point when you dont think youcan take it any longer just remember that the pain is bad but you will survive. Look at a picture of your LO's u/s or focus on something relaxing. A vacation you cant wait to take or listen to music.
3) If "you" change you mind about going natral your are not a failier and its "your" body and "you" have the right to ask for pain relief.
Do you have a Dr or a midwife??
I had a midwife when I went natral with my 2nd and I told them I wanted to go natraul and they refused an epidural for me untill DH told them to get me one or they'd wish they had, lol. I didnt end up having time to get it in and delivered med free. It was one of the greatest feelings I have ever experianced!!! Just to know that I could do it! I have four children and had the epidural with 3 of them. I have to say the epidural was great but to do it natrauly was better:~)
I think the most important thing is just to keep an open mind. From what I hear and even from my own experience (I have 6 children), the worst thing is for things to not go the way you "planned". So, have your plan, but just keep an open mind. And with all due respect to your husband, he is not the one that has to endure child birth. IMO ultimately the choice should be yours. Not saying he shouldn't get a vote! Just saying that you should have the final say is all. Take care and good luck with whatever you decide :)
I think you should do whatever makes you comfortable. My last pregnancy I vowed to hold out as long as possible before getting the epidural and if I felt like I could do it without one then I would go natural. I ended up getting one literally at the last moment. It only worked on 1/2 my body though so I'm not even sure if it was worth it but at least I made a decision that I felt I was comfortable with at the time. If you try to go natural and during delivery you just can't physically do it then I'm sure your husband will understand. He loves you and I think it would hurt him very much to see you in pain and for him to think he was causing it.
I personally think you're husband has a lot of nerve.. How can anyone expect you to do something that they can not even fathom? I agree you should have an open mind. My "birth plan" was in place weeks before I went to the hospital and although my delivery didn't go according to plan, I was obviously incredibly happy with the outcome. My BF didn't have a preference, or if he did, he was smart enough to keep it to himself. I don't think you should be in a position where you aren't sure you are comfortable with something. I have an incredibly low pain tolerence and i KNOW this about myself. I had an epidural, and am so glad I did. I was never one of those women that "craved" or "needed" a "natural" experience though.. No thanks, if I don't have to be in pain, I won't be.. I never felt the need to be a "hero." =D Good luck and think about it and do what YOU are comfortable with. In the long run, as long as you and the baby are healthy, nothing else matters.
You can always try to go natural and ask for relief if you need it; if it's too late for the epidural you can get IV pain meds...but you can totally do it. with both deliveries I got epidurals but both times the epidural wasn't working right...the first time, I never pushed the button so it was mostly worn off by the time I started pushing and I was able to feel about 90% of everything...but it was just enough to take the edge off (and it turned out I was lucky to have the epidural because I tore so bad and began bleeding to death and they had to ramp up the epidural and transfer me to the OR immediately after my daughter was born....lol, the doctor was sitting on the table as they pushed it and sewing because time was that vital...but they didnt have to waste time administering anesthesia because the epidural was in place, so the anesthesiologist was able to simple override the controls and pump a bunch into me)....
and with my son, it didn't work quite right. they had to do it twice and even once they got it in the right place I felt almost everything. I had back labor as well and the epidural did NOTHING for the contractions, so I might as well have gone natural..
the thing that helped my pain the most was when they told me to push, my MIL (who was my OB nurse :) )tilted the table like I had requested and almost all of the pain from the contractions eased, and pushing was hardly painful at all...so you can always consider that.
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