Family not happy I'm pregnant

Question

My grandma and mother are so unhappy when I told them I was pregnant. I dont understand why, I mean I am young but I'm married, finacially stable and really wanted this. I have had a miscarraige previously and was gutted, my family was trying to comfort me but was secretly happy. Now that I'm pregnant she's furious again. Saying Ive waisted my life away and kids are a silly idea and i should wait till my thirties and enjoy life by myself. I feel completly the opposite. They said they had high hopes for me ect. but now my life is ruined. I dont know what to say. If I argue they just say "oh you wouldnt know yourve never had one, you'll see how hard it is and how it ruins your life". 
It makes me really upset that my family act this way.

brittbaby90 · Answer

I am going through the same thing! ..almost  :)

I am 2 months pregnant and 22 years old. My BF and I are super excited, but my mom wants me to get an abortion and so does my sister.. his mom tells me i ruining her family and that i purposefully got pregnant in order to tie down her son. Completely ridiculous negativity that I know this child does not deserve. I am happy, and scared knowing I don't have much support.I just wish my family would accept the blessing and not look at it so negatively. I am done allowing anyone to take away this joy and true blessing.

ExpectingaRedhead · Answer

If they can't accept it, then that's too bad! As long as you are happy that's all that matters.

JustTheTwoOfUs · Answer

I know exactly how you feel. My fiance and i decided that we needed to take a serious break, which was two days before i found out that i was pregnant. When i told him he was so upset. I told him not to tell anyone since i was so embarassed about breaking off the engagement and yet he told his mother and all of his co-workers who also go to church with us. Not only is my mother mad/disappointed and just overall pissed....but so is he and his mom (who i used to be very close with) and everyone we go to church with. I can't help but to feel that no one is celebrating what should be a joyous event. not even my unborn child's father. i'm devistated and i feel horrible guilt and heartache for the life growing inside of me. As i'm writing this i'm crying for both of us...however, i know that your baby and mine will both have all the love they could possibly need from their mothers alone. It's just hurtful and disheartening. good luck with everything, you will be in my thoughts and prayers. 
B

jesslee83 · Answer

don't get worked up! i've been married twice, and the first time was 1300 miles away from home...my mom was fine, but my grandma had the nerve to ask mom how she could "allow" it...now that i'm preggie, my moms ecstatic! but when she told my grandma(i can't stand her, she'd b*tch @ me prolly if i called), but my mom said she was huffing and faking she's happy, and immediately went into about how hard life is...personally, i say it aint no ones bizz but the 2 that laid there and did it!!!!!(unless it's an affair, or a friend who assisted in surrogacy!)...

good luck, and don't stress, my child's father and i arent together even though i'm stayin with him till i move, and i know my family will talk, but again, it's only my and his bizz...i have a friend who got married before either of her older sis'(before 1 even lost her "goods"!), and her mom wanted her to promise not to have children until after 1 of the older ones got married and had a baby...said it wasn't "fair or right of her".....

JoyRenee · Answer

I know that reaction has got to be hard on you. But guess what!!! You'll have your babies young so you can enjoy life later. Besides I hear our 40s and 50s are supposed to be the greatest years of our lives. 

We deliberately wanted to have kids young so we would be young parents. I know it is hard, especially with all the pregnancy hormones, but just know that once that baby is born, your mom and g'ma will be beside themselves with baby-fever! I know my MIL was upset when we told them we were preggo (he was 18 and I was 19) but once my daughter was born, she was pounding on the hospital door, wanting in to see my daughter. I was nursing and as the nurse led my MIL back to the waiting room, I heard my MIL lament, "But she's almost TWO HOURS OLD!"

Just show them how happy you are, and hopefully your happiness will catch.

Scared718 · Answer

As long as its what you want and your happy forget what they say and how they feel if they really cared about you then as long as you were happy then they would be as well good luck on your pregnancy and if no one else is im happy for you

missyg477 · Answer

Don;t stress they're not worth it.  If your happy then thats what matters.  I have started to have problems with my mom last week. We usually speak everyday but we got into a huge argument so we haven't spoken in a week.  I actually called her this morning just to say that my ultrasound had gone well and before I could finish speaking she hung up on me.  I have decided that as long as she's being ugly to me I'm not going to deal with her.  Good luck to you.  Just remember you don't have to put up with it.

durhamjk1 · Answer

I am not being rude, but I kind of chuckled when I read this because my family was/has been the exact opposite.  My MIL has been aggrevating me from the day I married her son about when we are going to have kids and that was almost 3 years ago.  I may just be pure evil, but I decided to keep it from her when I decided to start ttc. People need to realize that they cannot control someone's life and that what is right for one person, is not neccasarily right for another.  2 of my dear friends were mothers at the age of 19 and they are great moms and neither one regrets it.  Just ignore the negativity and focus on the positive.  You have a human life inside you that you created and you need to focus on it.  Good luck and keep us posted!

precious03 · Answer

My mom was that way with my 1st, but came around after he was born. Out of all the grandkids, she spoils him most. When I called her to let her know 3 years later that my hubby and I were having another baby, she said it was the biggest mistake I have ever made. After my daughter was born, which is the first girl born in 22 years, she is always calling to check to see how she's doing and getting her cute little outfits. This is now my 3rd pregnancy. I called her and left her a message on her machine. I never received a call back to say congratulations or anything. I have seen her numerous times in the last few months and she never talks about it. One thing that I have learned though, is that this is our lives and this is what makes us happy. I have never once ever regretted having my children. Yes, there will be some restrictions put on your life once you have them, but in the end, I would give up everything and anything to see my kids look at me and smile. They are what I live for!! Congratulations!!

adawning4 · Answer

I am sorry to hear your family response.... But in all honesty its not their lives. Its yours and your husbands... If you are ready to have a baby than who are they to say it will ruin your life.... I am 25 and have been pregnant 4 times and God willing this baby will be my baby #3 My mother lives 15 minutes from my house, my daughter will be 4 in April and my son 2 in June, This baby is due Sept. 2nd. And she cries to everyone else about how much she loves her kids and her grandkids. But she has only seen my kids 3 times in the last 2 years...... Why? no one knows. But I am not here to please her and she is missing out on 2 of the most amazing beautiful babies in all my life.... But she has no one to blame but her self. My kids are just fine. You would never know she is missing from the picture... So if your family dont want to be with your baby and watch that baby grow than pis* on them..... Who matters the most is you, your husband, and that baby growing inside of you... Good luck to you and your baby!

lv1nothr · Answer

I'm so happy to hear you rejoice in this new life that God has placed in your womb. I'm very sorry to hear that your family doesn't see life that way! =( 
Give them time, but don't allow them to cause you stress, especially at this time. You are married and so you and your husband are one and do not please your mom, you can do so without disrespecting and dishonoring, just tell her you are sorry she feels that way, and that you hope she comes to see the blessing in this! 

praying she does, 

Grace in Pa.

LosingMyMindInGA · Answer

Now you need to turn around to your Mother and Grandmother and say "So, in other words, when you had YOUR children your life was ruined?."  Then explain to them that you and your husband are HAPPY, that you are EXCITED and that if they choose to sit on the sidelines and sulk that's THEIR problem, while it will be SAD that their grandchild/greatgrandchild won't have a wonderful relationship with them, it wont' be the end of the world and as far as you and your husband are concerned...unless they can get over themselves there won't BE a relationship there.  

Now thats what *I* would say.  Now chances are that as time goes by they are going to get over this.  My mom jumped me about being pregnant this time...I'm 30 years old and already have 3 kids...but she finally got over it and is getting excited.  I think it's the initial shock.  Give it a couple of months and if they don't come around, simply tell them that you refuse to allow THEIR negativity and nasty comments to bring you down and change your feelings about this child...they can accept it or not.  If they want to be a part of this childs life they need to get over their negative feelings NOW.

evthing4reason · Answer

Damn sometimes I wish we could chose our family like we can chose our friends.

KellyA74 · Answer

You need to do what makes you happy....and your life is not ruined.....I'm 34 and still have no children...that was my choice, but I have friends who had children at a young age and have gone on to go to college and have great careers while also being good parents......Be happy for yourself and everyone else will come around once they see your little bundle of joy.....

shasy03 · Answer

my family is the same way..they always have been.  My brother could go and do whatever he wanted but yet I always had to be home by 10.  I'm 22 now and if I wasn't married and I still lived at home I would have to be there at 10.  We had this convo the other day and she said it would hurt her to no end because she wants me to finish school and she wants to see me get a great great great job first.  Yes there is plenty of time but I feel like you...I'm happy and it's what I want.  Don't let them get you down girl!!  Enjoy your nine months to shine...trust me they will come around and when they do take it for everything it is worth.  They can't hold it against you but for so long!  Good Luck!!!! and Congrats!

Skylynns_mom · Answer

Your life is not ruined, kids only make your life more complete.  I had my first when i was 19, i still went to college, i have never been happier, in fact i am now 21 and prego with my second.  Still working and going to school, yea its hard at times but its well worth it.  i wouldn't take it back for anything.  My parents were mad to at first until they saw how being a mother made me happy, and only bettered my life.  Now they tell me all the time what a good mom i am and family actually askes ME questions about being a parent and whatnot.  it doesn't matter how young you are, what matters is your mind set.  Basically if your and your hubby are happy then don't let them take that from you, they will come around, as soon as they see your belly growing, or when they see the baby for the first time.