Girlfriend just wants to be alone...

[redsox872]

Almost 3 weeks ago my girlfriend found out she was pregnant and we were very excited and even started to talk about a wedding and I got her the engagement ring she had always dreamed of (a single 1 ct solitaire if it matters haha).  For a week everything stayed the same, us texting all day at work and hanging out everyday after work.  Well last weekend that all stopped.  As soon as she started having morning sickness everything changed.  We haven't hung out in a week and we hardly talk anymore and it seems tough to get her to even answer my text.  She just sits in her room after work by herself and cries and says its the only time she isn't stressed out is when she is alone, and we do not live together yet either.  I don't know what to do.  I feel like she wants nothing to do with me and I have no idea what I did wrong, I always ask if there is anything I can do to help and always let her know I am here if she needs anything.

Here's the thing, our first 2 doctor appointments did not work out due to the doctor having to go to surgery both times so we found a new doctor and get to go to him on Tuesday.  She was on some anti-depressants as well as anxiety meds and she stopped them as soon as she found out she was pregnant due to being scared of hurting the baby.  She wants to see the doctor to see if there is any meds that she can take or there is anything he can do for her.  Could it just be that she stopped the meds all of a sudden?  It was like she knew what was about to happen because the day before it really got bad she even text me to "pre-apologize" for the moodiness she said was about to happen and told me her feelings about me would not change.  Maybe I'm over-reacting though.  Just really worried about her and us as well.

[redsox872]

We are both 23 so we are still fairly young but I am just glad we have both graduated from college so our education is out of the way.  She has already started her career and I'm very close to starting mine, I'm in the final step of the process of getting selected for the local police department.  I guess I should have said it earlier but we fell in love fast, and I know some people say you can't fall in love this fast but we have only been together 3 months.  I just know I have never cared for anybody like I do with her.

[angela418]

You are a really great guy to do everything you can for your girl.  I am quite certain the combination of getting off the anti-depressants and being pregnant has taken a toll on her physically and emotionally and she definitely isn't herself right now.  I am glad she realizes she does need to see a doctor and get her meds straightened out and maybe even get some emotional help for her depression.  She's probably taking it all out on you because she's the closest with you.  I am pregnant, too and just last week I let my husband have it when it wasn't him that was the problem and you know what he did - bought me ice cream to make me feel better!  And it worked!  I know your girl probably will need more help than chocolate ice cream, but just do what you can to let her know that you still love her and she'll come around.  I can only imagine being pregnant and having depression issues - you are a stand up guy for seeing her through this! :-)

[littlelady2010]

Well flowers I think would be sweet! It might just cheer her up, and make her realize how much you care and love her! There are so many things that could be on her mind, body image, will she make a good mom, is the baby ok. Everything runs through your mind when your pregnant. She will come around, I know you miss her, but try to keep positive, maybe a love note, with a letter saying how much you miss her and just your thoughts on things. May I ask how young you guys are? Me and my husband were young when we had our first child, I got pregnant at 18, he was 21. So that defiantly caused stress, we were engaged, we had been together for some time, we were happy about the pregnancy, but we defiantly did not try, we both were scared of how we would handle it, and what it would be like. It was hard at first, we both grew up very fast, but having a child is truly the most amazing thing you will ever experience, I thank God everyday for my little girl, and now we are having a little boy soon. Just stay strong. Things will get better!

[redsox872]

I had actually thought about sending her flowers to work on Monday.  I talked to her earlier today and asked if I was going to get to see her this weekend and she just said she doesn't know.  I probably won't bug her this weekend about seeing her since I know she wants to be alone although I do want to see her very bad.

[amandamae1126]

I agee with littlelady. Try to respect what she says - and you're doing a great job so far! Send her flowers. Ask if you can come over and bring her favorite food. Offer to do things. Send love notes to her. :)

[littlelady2010]

Well the antidepressants would defiantly play a big part in this, I'm glade she will be seeing a doctor soon, it sounds like she does need some type of medication. And then being pregnant on top of it, oh boy. But I must say, it is sooooo nice to see you caring so much! Some guys aren't like that at all! its hard to say what to do though, but I would just try maybe doing something to make her feel special, u mentioned that you don't know how she would react if you just showed up. Maybe send her a text let her know your coming over in a few hours and then  What if you brought her one of her favorite foods, or flowers? Just keep trying to let her know that you are there for her. And try not to let this get to you too much, pregnancy can do crazy things to a women, she will come around. Honestly I have been pretty grumpy with my husband at times, but I don't mean to be. He doesn't take it to heart, because he knows pregnancy is hard! Are you going to the doctor with her? Maybe offering to go  would help, she might be really nervous about that. Well best of luck! Again you sound like your doing everything right! If needs be continue to give her space, but just keep doing what your doing by letting her know that when she is ready, your there!

[redsox872]

Ok.  Like I want to just ride over to her place and show up but I'm not sure how she would react.  Don't want to do that and then make her mad or make anything worse since she really does just want to be alone.  Guess not showing up and just giving her the distance is the best thing for now, atleast until she goes to the doctor.  I hope things change soon though.

[amandamae1126]

Yeah, she can still take medications - if they were prescribed to her. I am sure that has a lot to do with her moodiness. But don't under estimate the power of hormones and the general discomfort she is going through. I once felt like whacking my husband with a frying pan just for cooking hasbrowns while I had morning sickness! I was pretty sure he hated me and wanted to get rid of me and that's why he was cooking the hashbrowns. In reality, he was just hungry and wanted breakfast.

Just be patient with her and offer any kind of support that you can. Go out of your way to be nice to her, all the while realizing it's very difficult for her to be nice back to you right now. When she yells or argues, listen to what she's saying (even if it's dumb) and see where you can make a change, even if that change is temporary. I have so much more love for my husband now knowing what he went through to accomodate me.

Even though I was so moody for the first 3 months, I am glad my hubby stuck it out with me and he made changes for me as I needed him to. I think he's the best guy ever! I should probably let him cook those hashbrowns now that the smell doesn't make me want to vomit! :)

And things will change. Now that I am in the second trimester, all I want to do is hang out with my hubby and snuggle. I can't get enough of it! I want to do things for him, be HIS support (like he was for me in the beggining) and just remind him how much I love him every day. It probably gets on his nerves how much I tell him I love him now! :)

[redsox872]

It has been very frustrating because it seems like she would rather talk to other people instead of me but I just let it go.  Even though she always doesn't answer I still atleast text her a few times a day to tell her I love her and am here and will drop everything if she needs anything.

As for the psychiatrist, she is going to talk to her doctor about that Tuesday as well.  She had depression a few years ago due to a death in the family.  I'm just glad that she atleast realizes that she needs to talk to the doctor and possibly a psychiatrist about it all.  I even told her to take her meds every other day until she met the doctor just so she didn't stop all at once but she wanted to stop right away, I tried though.

Anyways, I just found this site today and it looks like I'll be using it alot the next 9 months or so atleast, I like the quick responses and everybody is friendly, atleast so far.  Thanks again.

[brigadiva]

Yes, there are safe meds that she can take while pregnant. She should be careful because stopping any medication suddenly can have adverse side effects (I was told seizures were possible when I was taking an antidepressant years ago and stopped cold turkey. I got lucky nothing happened though) I haven't been on any of those kind of meds since, so I don't know which ones are ok for pregnancy. Is she seeing a psychiatrist? She should speak with him or her Ob asap. Her sudden mood change probably has a lot to do with stopping her meds, AND pregnancy hormones are rough, too. Just be there for her as much as you can. Offer help but give her the space she needs. When she starts feeling better things will likely improve. She is lucky to have such a caring and patient boyfriend!

[Mandi218]

The medication may have something to do it but most importantly is she is experiencing a ton of hormones raging through her body right now. Its a big adjustment when you become pregnant, especially if this is her first baby. Giver her time and be patient. I am almost 20 weeks pregnant and still break down crying for no reason some times!

Best of Luck!!

[redsox872]

Thanks!  I really hope that's all it is too.  Just crazy how over night it all changed.  One day we were together and happy like always and the next day we hardly even talk.  She is going to talk to her doctor on Tuesday about it.

[MARLENISS2006]

Well i think that all of this is the result of the anti-depressants. If she stop them all of the sudden could have affected her. You must convince her to see a doctor, so that she can control her depression cause it can hurt the baby.


Tell her that you just want o help.

Good luck hon, hope i helped a little..