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HELP ME PLEASE! Daughter 31 wks and using drugs
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HELP ME PLEASE! Daughter 31 wks and using drugs

My 19 year old daughter is due October 16, 2012 with her first child. The babies father and her are together and he is addicted to methadone. He has got my daughter taking pills for the past year. She is taking 2mg Xanax bars pretty much every day, she has a prescription but under false pretenses. She was getting them to sell and now is abusing them. She has taken up to eight (8) 2mg Xanax bars in one day, also I know she is/has taken Methadone, 10mg Ambien, weed and who knows what else. I am very concerned for her and my first grandchild. Her boyfriend is a liar, thief, and drug addict. He has taken everything from my daughter and caused the whole family so much heartache. My daughter had a full scholarship to law school, a car, a place to live, a job, money and because of him, she has nothing and she doesn't see what he is doing to her and the family. I don't know what to do. She doesn't see the harm she is doing to her baby, herself or the family. What do I do?
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1688492_tn?1346367970
I THINK YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING AND JUST STAY STRONG AND DONT  BACK DOWN, DONT LET HER GIVE YOUR GUILT TRIP BC YOU COULD BE SAVING THE BABY'S LIFE
19 Comments Post a Comment
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Avatar_f_tn
Hi there many years ago I was feeling worthless and went out with this guy who smoked weed drank didn't work and was a thief - my whole family told me I was stupid I never listened,  I finally realised he was no good and got rid - but I had to make that decision myself I wouldn't listen to anyone else,  I'd she is taking drugs when she has the baby it Will show up when they check baby's 1st poo etc,  have you thought about informing social services ? I know it's a drastic step but baby is more important here he/she is not getting the start of life they deserve,  I feel sorry for you,  you can't help her without her wanting help,  I just hope she sees sence before to much harm is done or its to late x
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689528_tn?1364139441
I agree....even though it may seem like a hurtful thing to do to your daughter- calling social services would be the best thing for everyone. Mostly baby.
I guess maybe you should form an intervention of some sort and get her some help.
If she was smart enough to have a scholarship for law school then she know's what's going on is wrong but drugs really do cloud your mind and inhibitions.
I'm not sure but is there a way to tell her doctor? Or go with her to an appointment and mention it?
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Avatar_f_tn
This post has been playing on my mind and I just wanted to mention something to you,  my sister had her baby 3 months early - not due to drugs or drink just came early they don't know why,  anyway when he was in the special care baby unit there was a little baby girl in there she was always in a swing,  her grandmother came in one day and told me the baby's mum had been addicted to heroine meaning the baby was also a heroine addict! They had to keep the baby moving in the swing because she was experiencing withdrawals from the heroine!  The baby was pale and I'll,  what kinda life is that for an innocent baby that hadn't made a decision to take it,  maybe tell your daughter this story and put it bluntly would she purposely give her baby drugs in the bottle I'm sure she will say no,  than why on earth is she putting it into her body whilst pregnant?  , ps all I wanted to do was pick that baby up and take that girl home and look after her,  the grand mother was heart broken x
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2020005_tn?1404435525
I agree, you need to speak with her doctor, let him/her know the story, and just request they do a drug test on her urine at her next appt. (she leaves a urine sample every time she goes to the doctor) if it's not going to show in blood work, ask that they do a blood sample. If they find anything in her system, THEY will report it to social services, and they will deal with her from there, if the doctor won't do anything, call social services, if it doesn't work the first time, keep calling them. I hope it works out for you hun! :(
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Avatar_f_tn
If u want to take the baby home and social services not get it then u need to talk to them and explain to them its your grandbaby where u can have the baby. And like they said maybe if the doc tells her she don't need them and she needs to stop she may. My hubby was on drugs for 7 years and he was the one who had to make the decision... Good luck with this...p.s. have her watch I'm pregnant and...it comes on tv they have segments that show babies who have withdrawels it is heartbreaking.
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1688492_tn?1346367970
WHEM SHE HAS THE BABY THE BABY WILL GO T CPS BC THEY WILL FIND DRUGS IN THE BABY'S SYSTEM BC THEY DRUG TEST YOUR BABY, I AGREE YOU SHOULD CALL, I HOPE N PRAY THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THE BABY, HOWEVER WHEN THE BABY ARRIVES HE/SHE WILL GO THREW WITHDRAWL (withdrawal) AND THAT IS VERY SERIOUS AND DANGEROUS SO THE FASTER YOU LET SOMEONE KNOW THE BETTER CHANCE THEY HAVE TO PREPARE TO HELP THE BABY COPE WITH THE WITHDRAWL (withdrawal)
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3236274_tn?1346587862
Thank You all for the support. I made a decision to call both doctors Tuesday morning and report to them what she is doing. I am also thinking about going down to Probate Court and have her committed under a 7 day observation and evaluation. She thinks just because the doctor prescribed her the meds, that it's ok to take them, but out of 30-60 Xanax that she was getting a month before pregnancy she would keep maybe 5 for herself and take them only if needed and sell the rest. So, the doctors think that it's better to continue taking it than taking her off so no harm is done to the baby. But she was never on them as prescribed. She is brain washed by this guy. She thinks that just because the baby's heartbeat is good that there's nothing wrong. OK.... Withdrawals, down syndrome, physically or mentally handicap, and mentally the baby could be fine at first but a year or two down the road develope a lot of problems. SHE DON'T GET IT... :(
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1688492_tn?1346367970
I THINK YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING AND JUST STAY STRONG AND DONT  BACK DOWN, DONT LET HER GIVE YOUR GUILT TRIP BC YOU COULD BE SAVING THE BABY'S LIFE
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3129009_tn?1344194333
No matter what you do at this point the state will take the baby as soon as its born even if you don't report it. If you do report it, your going to have a higher chance of you keeping the baby then a random stranger aka foster care parent.
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3236274_tn?1346587862
A little about me. 10 years ago I was addicted to cocaine. Got pregnant and used powder cocaine up till my 4th month then quit. It was a hard thing to do. I thought about abortion and even giving my child up for adoption, but how selfish of me to think that. I was the one who was careless and got pregnant. My baby didn't ask to be born. But I quit. Gave birth to a healthy 6lb baby boy. A year after he was born I relapsed, using and drinking and partying. My 2 older children lived with their grandparents out of state. When my son was 4 Florida DCF was called because I got in a fight with a family member and when police arrived my son was awake. A week later my child was gone. I fought for 2 years to get him back and lost. My Parental Rights were taken. :(  I do not want my daughter to have to go through what I did. She blocks out her emotions of that time but really needs to remember them for her childs sake.
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1688492_tn?1346367970
YA THE ABOVE POSTER IS RIGHT HOW I HAD SAID THEY DRUG TEST THE BABY EVEN IF U DIDNT SAY ANYTHING AND CPS IS CALLED RIGHT AWAY SO NO MATTER WHAT SHE IS NOT LEAVING WITH HER BABY BUT IF THEY KNOW A FAMILY MEMBER THAT IS ABLE TO CARE FOR THE CHILD THEY WILL CONSIDER IT BUT U HAVE TO GO THREW A LOT I KNOW THIS BC PEOPLE AT OUR CHURCH ARE FOSTER PARENTS AND MY BEST FRIEND WENT THREW THIS BC SHE USED AND IT WAS IN THE BABY'S SYSTEM AT BIRTH AND IT TOOK HER FOREVER TO EVEN GET VISITATION AND IT WAS SUPERVISED WHEN SHE DID
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3236274_tn?1346587862
Addiction is such a hard thing to handle. Anyone who has never been addicted can't even imagine what addicts go through. I have been on both sides and it breaks my heart now knowing what my family went through with me. The emotional roller coaster you ride is almost unbearable. I attempted suicide 3 times in my addiction. Just wanting to give up. God wasn't ready for me and had other plans for me.
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1688492_tn?1346367970
AT LEAST YOU CHANGED YOUR LIFE AND YOUR REALIZE THAT YOU WERE WRONG AND CHANGED IT, I HOPE YOUR DAUGHTER'S BABY IS OK
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3236274_tn?1346587862
me too. I pray all the time.
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1688492_tn?1346367970
THATS GREAT!!1 IF YOU WANT TO TALK MESSAGE ME
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2020005_tn?1404435525
At this point, the baby is more important than the emotional needs of your daughter, unfortunately, and as hard as that must be for you as her mother. It's not fair for that baby to be born with god knows what kind of issues (hopefully none!!). Yes, your daughter may be struggling with an addiction that's hard to break, but unfortunately you choose who you get involved with, and what kind of life you decide to have for yourself, and if the baby is better off with you, or with the state than her, then that's what needs to be done until she can get her life on track!
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3236274_tn?1346587862
True. She is new in her addiction and she is going to have to hit rock bottom before she opens her eyes. It really saddens me to watch my only daughter who was so happy when she found out about her pregnancy and within a few months act like nothing is wrong and everyone else has a problem. Stage 1 of addiction: Denial. She has a ways to go yet. It took me 6 years to hit bottom and I hit a few times. I am going to hate it if something is wrong with her baby, if he has drugs in his system and goes through withdrawals and the state take him. OH YEAH, Forgot to tell you he also has a 2 year old daughter with someone else, mother, father strung out on drugs and my daughter headed there herself, she does take good care of his daughter cause neither her parents do. UGH
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Avatar_f_tn
Oh dear,I feel your heartache just reading your post. You did the right thing by calling her doctor. I'm wondering why methadone didn't show up on urine tests or her blood test? Each visit a urine sample is manditory in NY. She needs to be educated on how rx affect babies development in the womb. If she's selfish enough not to stopped thus far,perhaps social services will step in once baby is born, then reality will prevail she's harmed her baby and be a responsible parent. Keeposted, blessing for a healthy baby:-)
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Avatar_f_tn
I'm praying for you and your family. You did the right thing by calling the courts and the doctors .
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