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HELP-Terrified of child labour!!
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HELP-Terrified of child labour!!

I waited until late in my life to have children and am now pregnant with twins. Perhaps it was always my fear of delivery that I waited to the last minute. I am so terrified that I am sickened by the idea of what I am going to have to do in 7 months....give birth. I know women do it all the time but I cannot shake the terror of it. Funny thing is, I have a huge pain threshold and not afraid of many things but this is one of my biggest fears. I am dreading my due date already. Any words of encouragement and/or happy stories about your delivery to calm me?
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It's not a constant pain. For example, I laboured for over 24+ hours, and my only time I had pain was when I actually had the contractions. These usually will start out irregular and will gradually get closer and stronger together. Mine were coming every 15 minutes for almost the entire day, until that night I started to get them every 1-3 minutes. That's when we went to the hospital.

The fear as well that your heart will give out is also a common one, but unless you already have a health condition it's one you don't need to concern yourself over. Keep in mind, maternal death during childbirth is very difficult and rare nowadays. It's used to be common a couple hundred years ago, but medical technology has advanced so much now it's crazy.

You will always hear scary things about everything. Honestly, you have more chance of dying in a car crash than you do in childbirth. Epidurals also aren't as bad as everyone makes them out to be. They can in some cases cause damage, but again this a chance you have with everything you do. You can't listen to all the horror stories, they're not as common as it seems they are. When something bad happens, naturally people converge and bad mouth it. Therefor, you only see all the bad and not the good. If you have no reason to complain, often you don't say anything.
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1194973_tn?1385507504
It's not uncommon for women to be scared of labour, especially when you've never been pregnant in the past. Is there a particular part of it you're scared of? Or does the entire idea just repulse you.

For me, mine was actually good other than the back labour I had. I had spent 24+ hours labouring at home and when we got to the hospital and I was told I was 4-5cm dilated, fully effaced and in active labour. I got an epidural (the pain was horrible) and slept for a few hours. Eventually my nurse came in, said I was 9cm dilated and broke my water. I immediately got the urge to push and my body started to do it on its own. After an hour or so of pushing (and my epidural wearing off) my baby girl was born.

However, since you're having twins it's not likely you'll have a vaginal birth. More than likely you'll be set up for a c-section which has it's pros and cons. The advantage is you don't actually have to go through that process and can pick the day you deliver on. The cons are that it can take longer to heal.
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Avatar_f_tn
Thankyou for commenting! I think I am terrified of the unknown and I have this recurring thought that my heart will fail and I won't be able to get them out. LOL Sounds silly but my mind keeps filling with all these horrible outcomes. I do fear pain also even though I can withstand it. I've also heard scary things about epidurals ;<
My obgyn said that he promotes natural birth & will do a C in the event of emergency so I am trying to mentally prepare for either. What also scares me is the hours that I hear of women in labour and I don't think I have educated myself well enough to know exactly what those hours entail. My first reaction is horror in thinking that there is major pain for the entire 12 or however many hours during. Is that correct?
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1194973_tn?1385507504
It's not a constant pain. For example, I laboured for over 24+ hours, and my only time I had pain was when I actually had the contractions. These usually will start out irregular and will gradually get closer and stronger together. Mine were coming every 15 minutes for almost the entire day, until that night I started to get them every 1-3 minutes. That's when we went to the hospital.

The fear as well that your heart will give out is also a common one, but unless you already have a health condition it's one you don't need to concern yourself over. Keep in mind, maternal death during childbirth is very difficult and rare nowadays. It's used to be common a couple hundred years ago, but medical technology has advanced so much now it's crazy.

You will always hear scary things about everything. Honestly, you have more chance of dying in a car crash than you do in childbirth. Epidurals also aren't as bad as everyone makes them out to be. They can in some cases cause damage, but again this a chance you have with everything you do. You can't listen to all the horror stories, they're not as common as it seems they are. When something bad happens, naturally people converge and bad mouth it. Therefor, you only see all the bad and not the good. If you have no reason to complain, often you don't say anything.
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Avatar_f_tn
awww you poor thing, you should be enjoying your pregnancy, having had a child myself i can relate to you, i was frightened for a while but towards the end i got excited really excited and people where saying we dont think you have thought this through! but i just couldnt wait to meet my little girl. child birth is very hard thats why its called labour, but you do have your pain killer options, you dont have to have the epidural,i was quite happy on my gas and air for hours i was in slow labour for 24hrs and complete labour was 52 hours. i needed an epidural for my c section,and trust me i have a very low threshold for pain! if youre in tune with your body you can learn to control your the pain
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Avatar_f_tn
Thankyou Thankyou Thankyou. That actually makes me feel better about it. It's hard to google this stuff & hear real testimonies as yours. I will probably re-read what you have written over the next 7 months!!LOL Stars in heaven to you Clysta!!!! *hugs*
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Good luck, and I hope you have a healthy pregnancy! Feel free to stick around here as well and ask questions, vent or just talk to other mothers who are pregnant.
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581359_tn?1358282565
I've gone through labor twice. With my oldest daughter I got an epidural at 7cm, pushed for 45minutes was in labor for a total of 8 or so hours. The worst part of labor for me was that I threw up during labor....I HATE nausea and throwing up...to me it was worse then the contractions, but it's a normal part of labor.

With my second daughter I was in labor for about 12hours or so, I did not have any pain medication at all. Again I got sick during labor, but was better prepared for it...the midwife told me it is normal for some women and it actually helps you progress better sometimes...(the nurse didn't tell me that during my first labor). So I was ok with throwing up...when it was time to push it was a relief! It felt good to push, it burned some but wasn't that bad...the contractions are the worst part of labor it's hard to explain but you don't feel it down there like you think you would. Contractions for me were like bad menstrual cramps or bad muscle cramps all over your tummy, not the pain I was expecting. Some women get lower back pain, I'm sure you have had this before also.

It's really not as bad as everyone makes it out to be...mind over matter, your body is made for it and you can give birth to twins naturally and YOU WILL SURVIVE! :-) The horrible pain is very short and goes away as soon as the baby is there.

c-sections are very different....but you won't feel any of the pain during delivery.  There is pain afterwards but it's different...have you ever had surgery before, also they will give you pain meds to help with that.

Good Luck!    
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Avatar_f_tn
by the time  your 9 months, youll be begging for labor. i had the longest labor ive ever heard of and i made it. the contractings were painful but i got and epideral when i was dialated 3 centemeters. it was amazing! youll be fine.
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689528_tn?1364139441
The best thing I did for myself during my whole pregnancy was read up and educate myself about how to handle labour. The more you fear it and the more tense you are will make it all that more painful.
I went to my local library, grabbed a couple books about some different methods and read a lot! The best method that worked for me and that made sense to me was the Bradley Method!! It was great for me and I ended up having a COMPLETE natural birth! And trust me....I have a very low pain tolerance!
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376739_tn?1317669990
You sweet thing! I think we've all been there, even those of us who have given birth before. I have some book recommendations for you. Many of them talk about fear and labor:

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin (pro-natural birth)
Your Best Birth by Ricki Lake & Abby Epstein (creators of The Business of Being Born)
The Thinking Woman's Guide to Better Birth by Henci Goer

I know a few more but I'm drawing a blank right now. I'd definitely read the first one. Even if you don't want a natural birth Ina May talks a lot about addressing fear issues in labor.

As Clysta said - the pain is not constant and it IS temporary. I wanted a natural birth with my first two daughters and I got so scared once the contractions got strong that I got the epidural without even trying. I was NOT prepared. With my third daughter I prepared myself, I read books, I got connected with women who were of the same mindset as me, learned some awesome tips and tricks for having a natural birth, etc. And I DID IT! I'm so proud of myself. Not because I was out to prove anything but because it was best for my baby and it was best for me. My husband was so proud of me too and he tentatively asked me, "So... we're having a natural birth with this one, too, right?" (we're having #4 in about two months).

And as Heather said - the more tense you are, the more intense the pain. I had to teach myself to relax my muscles during a contraction. A contraction would come on and I would close my eyes and allow myself to feel it and tried to keep my muscles relaxed.

So what exactly about labor do you fear the most? Do you fear tearing? Do you fear having a cesarean? Do you fear pushing? It helps to talk about it! Journaling and art are great ways to get those fears out there and deal with them.
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