How do I tell my In Laws?

[Glasschicky]

I'm stressing over telling my in laws about being pregnant.  I'm only around 9 weeks right now and want to tell them by 12 weeks.  The only thing is that we don't get along very well.  My husband is their youngest son (almost 30) and they think because we're the youngest that our decision making skills aren't up to par.  We also had a big fight over our marriage because I am not religious and they are and we wanted to get married outdoors.  In that same argument they told me I have no soul and they feel sorry for people like me then asked if we were going to baptize our children.  Bare in mind this conversation happened when we got engaged 2 years ago.  So being 9 weeks pregnant I'm super stressing over breaking the news to his parents.  My parents know and are happy but we're afraid of how his parents will react as they are never usually happy with anything we decide to do.  This pregnancy was not planned but we are married and own a home which I think is not a bad start to having a family.  We are both really happy but not sure how to break the news.  Does anyone have any suggestions on how to break the news to difficult family members?

[krissyy]

my inlaws are exactly the same way!  they are nice to my husband and i (he is the oldest of the 3 brothers).  we met in college, dated 5 years before marriage, been  married 5 yrs and now ttc.  so, to them, we are the golden ones.  however, mid brother has always been what they called (yes, actually called) "the black sheep."  he never had any stable, long lasting relationships, never finished college, didn't always make the best choices (according to his parents)...however, he met a wonderful girl and after dating her for 7 mths, she fell preggos!  it was unplanned, my mother/father in law freaked out!!!!  they were so mean and horrible.  i couldn't believe it!  they claim to be religious but certainly weren't acting like christians.  up until her baby shower at 7mths preggos, they were still alienating the brother and preg gf...  my mother in law was at the shower, but behaived like a stick in the mud!  however, in october, a beautiful baby girl was born.  it brought the whole family back together.  it was a true miracle!  as soon as they held their granddaughter in their arms, all which they called "sin" was forgotten.  i think that no matter how you tell them, or how they react, you need to treat this as the miracle it is and be excited.  it is a positive thing!  it may be a rough several months ahead, but they will turn around.  i just hope they don't try to criticize the parenting decisions you make.  always know, this is your child.  you are grown adults--you are married, have a home, love each other...  it sounds to me like you are making great choices!  if they want to keep a positive relationship with their son and grandchild, they need to realize that you are your own family and will make the decisions that are best for eachother.  best of luck to you!  congrats!  let us know what happens!  ps-what a cool job you have!

[Glasschicky]

Thank you guys for all your great comments.  I'm not planning on telling them till I'm past the 3rd month just to be sure.  I have a feeling they will not be happy for us just like they were miserable at our wedding.  As for the religion part, I am an athiest and my husband believes in god but not religion.  I want to give our child the choice of its own.  I know if we get our child baptized the in laws are not going to stop there.  I have never met such... menacing people in my life.  Hopefully things will work out.  Once again, thank you all for your comments
xoxo

[Mona93]

        I am so sorry to hear that your in-laws who claim religion have treated you in such a fashion.  Everyone has a soul!  Lots of people have religion (man made rules) but it is a personal relationship with God/Jesus that matters.  Such people live their lives based on love, forgiveness, empathy, kindness, joy so they are easy to pick out.  People of religion alone never have this depth because it comes from God who IS love and life.  Again I am sorry that you were hurt.

       My suggestion would be to wait until perhaps the fourth month til you are more sure of the p/g progressing.  It is now their choice if they will be happy for you or not.  Funny how grandkids can melt the heart of grandparents and bring a family closer together.  If they want to see more of the grandkids perhaps they will think about how they are treating you!  About baptism - Jesus taught it was a personal decision when one is old enough to deciide and is a sign of repentance of sins and decision to follow God.  I was baptized as a child but it meant nothing to me as I made a personal decision at age 13 (12?) to do so.  God is your judge -no one else!

Love,
Mona

[rachie204]

My husbands mothers side is very difficult.  I get along fine with them I guess but they are all really nasty acting and gossip like crazy behind your back.  When we found out my husband called his family and I callled mine.  They were excited and fine with it but when we miscarried they were not much help...no calls or anything.  (from his grandmother and other relatives...his mom called once or twice)  I say just tell them and dont let it put stress on you and dont let their reaction bring you down.  This is your time...enjoy it.

[iammyown8485]

well honestly in my opinion I think that they will be happy they might have something to say about it at first but think about it so do parents to teenagers... with that in mind I know you have heard the saying babies change everything and trust me they do. I would try not to worry and even if they have something to say about it at first it will get better as the time passes deffinatly when they start seeing that belly grow and the excitment between you and your husband. It will all be ok in time Im sure congrats to you both wish the best for you.

[Glasschicky]

oh man I hope so, thanks for your comments guys xoxo
http://pregnancy.womanblog.com

[maybrie]

They are just going to accept that theyre boy is not a child and he's starting his own family. Once they see that grandbaby they are going to melt and everything else is going to meaningless.

Good Luck!!

[honey1982]

just maybe like sit down and tell them how you feel and then ease the pregnancy on them. tell thwm that this baby might be what is going to bring the family closer lets set aside our difference and think about our new baby/ grandbaby and lets enjoy this time. to grow and bond. and if that doesnt work then i dont know what will. goodluck and congrats new mommie