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How far apart should you kids be?
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How far apart should you kids be?

I'm due September 9th and we're already planning when we'll start trying again. I was thinking we could start trying around the 7 month mark so they would be about 16+ months apart. We're planning family vacations and a romantic getaway now. Trying to work everything around another pregnancy next year.

I'm just wondering what you guys think is a good age range for siblings.

Thanks!
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24 Comments Post a Comment
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349463_tn?1333575176
Should your kids be, sorry typo.
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689265_tn?1251133687
i've always had a 4/5 year gap between my kids, but this time i'll have a 2 and a half year old and a newborn. i'm expecting it to be hard work but on the plus side they'll be close in age so have more in common as they grow. i'm wary of having 2 toddlers at the same time, but i'm sure i'll cope. i guess there's no right or wrong on this one...just what's right for individuals.
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Avatar_f_tn
yeah we are planning on making baby #2 soon!! (hopefully now im preg)........ my daughter is 13 months now.........still a baby but you know what i want my children to be able to be good friends rather then the little one be 'annoying' or a 'tag along' to our oldest. =)
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765070_tn?1384873394
We'll mine are going to be really far apart since I had so many problems with my first pregnancy.  My son will be 12 in November and this little one is due January 28, 2010.  So, it all really depends on what you prefer and what works for your family.  My brother and I were 18 months apart and we fought like cats and dogs.  Now, my husband was 14 years apart from his sister and of course he helped with her all the time and they are really close to this day.  So, it really all depends on what you feel comfortable with.  Many people have asked me why I waited so long but the only real reason was that I was very afraid to be pregnant again.  I know that every pregnancy is different but with my first I was on bedrest for 5-6 months and was in the hospital several times with a lot of bleeding.   So, needless to say, I figured we would wait a little while and here we are.   I am only 34, so that was really as far as I would go.  Just my preference.  
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349463_tn?1333575176
Melissa brings up a good point. My middle brother and I fought like cats and dogs because we were closer in age, but my younger brother and I were always close. We're all the best of friends now, but we had some very rocky years there.

I have an 11 year old from a previous marriage and he's been an only child so long that I don't think the benifit brothers and sisters will kick in until they've all grown up.

We're pregnant now and going to have two more. I'm thinking about a year and a half to two years apart. Then again after this one is born I might be singing a different tune!
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376739_tn?1317669990
There are pros and cons to spacing them further apart or closer together.

My daughters are 22 months apart and best of friends. Likewise their cousins are 19 months part and are really close!

My oldest brother is 11 years older than me, second oldest brother is 10 years older- I'm not close to either of them. But I am close to my sister who is 5 years older than me but we did NOT grow up together. I think it's just because we're sisters.

So I think it's great you're thinking ahead about this. I LOVE having my kids close in age.
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463595_tn?1334000822
oh god this is second pot today tht you posted and i so like me .i read in a book tthat if you deliver natural you can start after 6mnth nd that whats i want to do especiially ttc with this one took me 6 yrs.
And i think its great when there is not to big age diffrent so they can understand each other great
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280369_tn?1316705641
Jeremiah and this baby will be 17 months apart...I wanted them a little bit further apart, but I think they will be best of friends. Me and my brother are 4 1/2 years apart and we have always been pretty close. I am 13 years older than my sister and 15 years older than my brother....we aren't exactly close, but they are 23 months apart and are best friends. I think it can be a little difficult when there is a huge age gap, I always feel like I'm their second mommy. lol. After I have this baby, we plan on waiting at least 2-3 years to try again. In all honesty, I just need a little break. But I don't want the third to be so far apart either. (We haven't decided how many kids we would like to have, but I think 4 or 5 is a good number, but anything can happen) It's up to you really and how you feel about it. But I think keeping them somewhat close in age is a good idea.
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765070_tn?1384873394
I am not real sure though if the first preganancy would have not had so many complications then, yeah, I probably would have had them closer together.  At least two years apart.  But, it really did not work out that way.   My son is extremely excited to have another sibling.   I am sure that God knows what he is doing even though I really am not sure myself.  LOL  
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470885_tn?1326332637
This is such a personal thing - there's no right or wrong here. But I'm definitely biased! ;-)

Having kids close in age does NOT guarantee they will be best of friends.  

I personally am an advocate for having a decent (at least 2.5-3 year) space between.  This will allow your body to heal after the rigours of pregnancy and delivery (formally, OB's actually recommend you wait 2.5 years before getting pregnant again, to allow for healing, from what I've read), not to mention you'll have plenty of time to enjoy the kid(s) you have before you change the family dynamic.  

I'm pg. with no. 2 right now and DS will be 3 years 4 months when he/she arrives - that spacing works great for DH and I, it's what we were hoping for.
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938812_tn?1297655588
All depends on you really... I have a 9 month old and i am 8wks 4 days along so there will be maybe 1yr 5 months difference.
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525485_tn?1314364901
I have a 5 month old (friday) and I am due again when she turns 1, so, mine will  be 12 months apart exactly!! I hope they are close!!!
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287246_tn?1318573663
Well, I had my son when I was pretty young.  He will be 16 this summer!!  Geez...Then I was a single parent for a while and my husband and I have been together for about 9 1/2 years.  We have all girls and are expecting another girl now.  I have an 8, 6, 4, and 2 year old.  The oldest 2 girls are only 17 1/2 months apart and that was super hard for me.  Was not done on purpose but they are super close, so I am glad now.  I knew it would be hard when they were really little, but they are best friends now and that's how I want it to remain.  Well, in my house it's a forced thing!!  Ha ha!!  You either love each other or else!!  LOL!  Seriously though, we really stress the importance of loving each other in our house.  I didn't have a sister.  Just a brother who I am not close to.  Probably only talk to about once a year.  So, my gift to them is each other.  BUT since then my kids have been about 2 years and 2 or 3 months apart.  That is the perfect age difference to me.  Not TOO close or not TOO far apart to me.  The older sibling is a little bit older and can understand and "help" you more.  It just makes having a newborn a little bit easier when the older sibling is a few months older.  A few months can make a big difference at that age.

So, I think like many have said, it just depends on you.  Maybe even wait until this one is born and see how it goes and how she does.  What kind of baby she is in general, etc.  Some babies are "easier" than others.  That may help you make your decision on when to start trying for the next one.
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Avatar_f_tn
I think it depends on the person, if you are ready go for it. It doesnt matter how close or far apart they are, siblings will have there on conections.  My son will be 14 this month, and im due september 18th, big age gap.  If we decide to have another child i would like to try again within a year.  I dont want to wait too long, but this may be it for me. I THINK:)
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212720_tn?1304379015
My kids will be 3 years apart which is exactly how I wanted them spaced.
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184674_tn?1360864093
I was hoping for my second child to come along before my son would be 7 years old, and when this one is due, he will have just turned 5. I'm really happy with the age gap of 5 years, because I don't know if I could handle two babies at the same time, or a baby and a toddler. I really like the fact that my son will be 5, which means he's independent enough to care for a lot of his own basic needs, like being potty trained, dressing himself, feeding himself, entertaining himself, etc. Also, he's really excited about getting a baby bro or sis soon and can't wait to help out taking care of it! He is already talking about holding it, feeding it, snuggling it up in blankets for bedtimes, helping me with diaper changes--okay, so hopefully that will last, huh? Lol.

I have three sisters, but have only lived with one. On my dad's side, I have an older stepsister and a younger half sister. The age gap between my older sister and me is 5 years, and we always got along great and were best friends (when I'd get to visit). We're still pretty close when we get together.
My younger half sister is about 4 years younger than me, and we have gotten along pretty well. We had more spats than my older sister and I did. But I think that's because my younger sister's personality was more extroverted and adventurous. The age gap between my older sister and younger sister is 9 years, and when they were younger, DID NOT get along. They're best of friends now, though, at ages 21 and (almost) 30.
My second younger half sister (the one I lived with on my mom's side) and me are nearly 11 years apart, and we are total opposite personalities and really didn't get along too well until she was about 12 years old (she'll be 14 on Sunday). We really have nothing in common, but that's not due to our ages, but our personalities. We're like best friends now, though.
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Avatar_f_tn
i think it all depends on you. how far or close do you want the kiddos to be? my mom had my brother when i was 3 1/2 and my dad and his 2nd wife had my twin brothers when i was 9.

my boys are 5 minutes apart. lol.
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363110_tn?1340924019
it depends on the family.... my son is 10 months old and I'm due Xmas day... they'll be 15-16 months apart or so. Then I'm waiting a few yrs and going for number 3 and POSSIBLY #4 right after....  I want all my kids b4 I'm 30 because my son has down syndrome. i'm 22 yrs old now. :)

You'll get **** from some ppl who think THEY are right about how far apart to space kids. But it's really up to you... I have gotten so much crud from ppl telling me, "why would you want another baby with one already who's been so sick. etc.e tc. etc)

but it's my choice in  the end. and I chose to have my kids close in age for my own personal reasons. :) lol
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317217_tn?1394815349
My DS is 8 months and im 21 weeks pregnant due nov 15, there'll be 13 months between these two. I knew i wanted another one within 2 years and DS has been such a easy baby. And do you know what i couldn't be happier. :D

Im closest to my middle sis (im the youngest) and theres 5 years between us and she got on well with my next older sis whos 18 mongths older than her. But i have older sisters than that who get on well with other sis.

I dont think age age gapes make any diffrence. It all depends on their personalities. They might get on well with not much of a age gap, might not get on well if there is one.

My advice wait till this one is here, then decide.
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419158_tn?1316575204
I think this is a very good topic, only that everyone has their own opinion and yours should be based on when you feel ready. Your children can be spaced apart in either direction and not get along. I think that part is up to the individule child. I have 3 boys now 8, 5 and 10 months old and I am currently 33 weeks pregnant with our first girl. We didnt expect to get pregnant so soon after the birth of our last but are very happy to be expecting our last baby and first girl. I wanted to be done by 30 so I could just raise the children I have rather then still planning babys. Once you have your little one you can deside when you are ready again. Trust me after having a baby some woman dont even want to think about another child right away while others can wait to start trying. Only you will know whats best for you and your family.  Good luck:)
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796506_tn?1370191905
My first son was born in April 2003 and my second son was born in April 2007 (4 years) as for the next one that we are planning we know our youngest will be around 3 or older... I always wanted them in that time space because one in Diapers is enough for me!
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171768_tn?1324233699
mine be 2 years apart.

3 of my siblings and i were spaced close together- 2 yrs, 18 months, 2 yrs. My little sister came along when I was 13. The older 4 of us definitely had our moments growing up, but I ALWAYS had someone to play with when i was little. As adults, in times of family crisis, it was great having them to rely on. And while we had our share of bickering when little, we have a fantastic time now when we get together.

it's weird with my little sister- i did/do sometimes feel like a second mom to her. I actually sometimes feel bad for her because of it. of course she has had some spoiling by her older siblings, and we all get along very well with her- but since we all moved out while she was little, she's kinda like an only child at times as well. Of course, for me, it's nice to have a reliable teenage babysitter for my little one!!!

I do have to admit that part of the reason my kids are going to be close together is because I want to focus my energies on raising my kids (well- til they go to kindergarten), and then focus on advancing my career and possibly getting my phd. I have been taking course work while i had just one, but will stop for a couple of years while i raise 2 (or maybe 3). I do have to continue to work after my maternity leave, but my job is great for a working mom (teacher). Of course, this isn't the only reason for the spacing, but it is also a consideration.

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280369_tn?1316705641
That's neat how our sisters are 13 years younger than us! In just a few more years I will have a reliable babysitter. I feel the same way with feeling like a second mommy to her...but at the same time, I always try to remember that's my sister so we always end up goofing off. It's fun and hard all at the same time. But I wouldn't trade her for the world. =)
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Avatar_f_tn
This is just a matter of opinion. My son is 2.5 and I am just now feeling ready to try for baby #2. He is a very active little guy who loves to run. I could not imagine being pregnant when was all over the place. Now that he is starting to settle a bit, I feel ready.

Also, I have loved the past 2.5 years with my son. We have done so much and he has gotten a lot of attention from me. I do know moms who have them so close together and don't get to do a lot with their children b/c they can't handle the two little ones at the zoo, park, etc. I understand how hard that must be.

If I had the energy (I am 33) I would have liked them to be closer in age b/c now I feel like I am starting all over again. However, I knew I just wasn't ready to handle an active toddler and a newborn. Best of luck with your decision!
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