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I know this might be crazy but miscarriage
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I know this might be crazy but miscarriage

I dont know how to say this or even ask this right, but i really honestly dont know what to do. I want to have a miscarriage i mean i know its going to be hard, but i dont think i'm ready for a baby and you think i would have learned the first time i had got an abortion. My boyfriend wants this baby, but at the same time we both are scared. He is so excited though and he wont let me get another one. i tried to think everything positive, but then it's like i'm only 19 i just got my own apartment the 1st of October, and i got to get a new car, because mine is going down, and his has 2 more weeks left. i love my baby without it even being born, but at the same time if i cant get an abortion, then i want to do something to prevent it. :( i'm just not ready, i know he isn't :(
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214607_tn?1287681159
So what is it you want? to hurt yourself to cause a miscarriage? I dont quite get it?
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126454_tn?1328022622
Ok, I'm going to try really hard to answer this objectively.  It would be very dangerous to try to cause a miscarriage yourself.  A safer route would be abortion which I would suggest thinking long and hard about it.  There are many, many, many couples who would love to adopt a baby.  You have more options than just abortion.  Now that you are pregnant, talk to your boyfriend, I know you said he wants the baby, but voice your concerns.  There are a lot of women who would love a child and can't have one.  I personally have had 3m/c and want a baby more than anything.  Just think about your choices before you make a decision but ultimately, it's up to you.  No matter what you choose, if you don't want any children, abortion is not a birth control method.  It's pretty cheap these days so get on the pill, use some type of protection, or learn about your body so you can at least avoid having sex during ovulation.  
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Avatar_n_tn
No not really i just want to loose the baby :( i mean i know its kindof odd, but at the same time its not that i want to stab my stomach, or beat myself up, but i just want to know ways other then abortion to loose a baby.
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Avatar_n_tn
Okay Im gonna say this even though I shouldn't maybe and I shouldn't judge but reading your post makes me just want to cry. It took me 8 1/2 years to get pregnant and I am so scared somethings gonna go wrong. Here you obviously have no problem getting pregnant  since you have already had an abortion and you wanna make your self have a miscarriage. What I don't understand is why you didn't prevent this in the first place. Life is only as hard as we make it. Its going to be hard for me I'm going to have to move and waa waa waa. Im sorry  if this is harsh or judgemental forgive me. If in the end you do plan you can't have it. Contact a planned parenthood google planned parenthood. Your partner doesn't have to know. They have a pill that I believe causes a miscarriage. in the end its your choice. Don't try to hurt yourself  But after this i would definitely see about being responsible for your actions and get some BIRTH CONTROL.  By the way how many people do you think are actually ready for a baby!
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283175_tn?1295540865
try contraception..then you wouldnt be in this situation.
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285896_tn?1237214827
Before every1 jumps on this childs case, remember she is just a child.  I'm not trying to hurt your feelings sweetie, but lets be real if you just had an abortion common sense would tell you to start using protection.  Now the responsible thing for you to do would be to consult with your doctor and find out how dangerous it would be to do this back to back.  I suffer from several different "female issues" from problems with my ovaries to God knows how many other things.  I say that to say dont inflict unnecessary problems on yourself if you dont have to.  If God is giving you the opportunity Back-2-Back to be one of the fortunate ones to bring a life in this world then maybe thats a sign!  Think about adoption, or since your boyfriend is looking forward to this baby, maybe let him parent the child.  Dont do this to yourself and possibly later on be put in a situation where you cant have kids.  This will hunt you for the rest of your life.  I had an abortion at age 13 (due to other circumstances) but I still think about that child everyday and what him/her couldve been.  I will pray for you and pray that you make the best decision for you.  If that decision is to have another abortion then you do it without a regret in your heart and remember the consequence will be yours and yours alone.  Your in my prayers!
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Avatar_n_tn
I dont take a lot of things to heart. I actually like peoples opinons i have tried birth control that didnt work, because i was always traveling and i always took them at different times, then i took Loestrin 24 and that just made me cough up blood my body cant handle most birth controls. i even tried putting that little triangle thing up in me where your not suppose to get pregnant, but look what happened. I dont want to get the shot, because in my opinon not having a period messes up your body its bad blood trynna come out, my body reacts differently to A LOT of medicines. I mean we used a condom and he pulls out everytime, but the condom always bust, i mean this time the condom just ripped we tried everything. I mean i dont want to do the adoption thing, because i hate to carry it, then give my baby up and then years later try to find and fight for my baby back. Believe me when i say i tried mostly everything. It's sad to talk about alot of things and we use to have sex at least once a day, but then we slowed down to 3 times a week and i still get pregnant.
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Avatar_n_tn
I cry everytime i think about the baby that i had lost, because i lived in a f***ed up city that doesnt care. I mean i try going out of state, but the cost is to much, i try to keep myself busy and keep him busy we both got 2 jobs his jobs dont pay good one of my jobs equal to one of his. My second job i can only work once a week then i'm going to school, its exhausting i mean we barely have time for ourselves now, but it just hurts you know? because i want my baby to have a good life not sleep on an air bed with his or her mother, or sit on the floor because i cant afford to get furniture, and Lord knows i'm not stripping for nobody. It's not that i dont want to hurt it, i just want my baby to be wealthy and with me being this young only being a temp at my job then i dont know what to do. Seeing what everybody writes, and seeing what you wrote kinda made me want to keep my baby, but at the same time it's like with what money? :( My family wont help i see how my sisters lives on her own her man dont even help, hell he's getting married to someone else. I hate to be the one to live paycheck to paycheck, and still be broke.
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274158_tn?1276350787
try using lubrication with the condoms then they won't break. I am going to be blunt. Take responsibility! If you can have sex then you can take responsibility to have the baby. Abortions are bad for you physically and emotionally, believe me you will regret it later in life, especially if you have trouble trying to conceive later. Think about adoption, there are so many people who want kids and can't have them. I hope you make the right decision.
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285896_tn?1237214827
Boo I believe you.  I'm a DFACS worker...if you dont mind my asking what state are you in?  
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Avatar_n_tn
Northeastern part of Florida (904) i mean most of the people who are doctors, or work in the clinic like to spread your business.............he was my first and going to be my last we in it for the long run. I see him put a smile on his face, but at the same time i know he scared, and not ready.
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290018_tn?1240369468
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285848_tn?1219095913
Wow. This must be really hard for you. Im 18 and have a car and a job and my boyfriend does to. I'd always planned to go to school as well. Lucky enough we live with my parents in a house thats half empty because other family members moved out. It's probably not as easy for you with the situation youre in. But when I got pregnant me and Steven (My boyfriend) were both scared to death about what would happen. A few weeks went by and I was trying to decide if I wanted an abortion or to keep it, or to give it up for adoption. The more I thought about it, the more OK i was about being pregnant. I decided to keep it, and I told him that I wanted to. He got mad at me and asked me why I wanted to ruin both of our lives. But I explained to him how I felt and explained the procedures of abortion and the risks. He left me a voicemail the next day telling me that I was right and that he didnt want me to get an abortion. From that day on we planned on having a baby. I knew we were too young and we werent stable financially, but we accepted it.

I loved that baby alot even though i wasnt even two months along. I ended up miscarrying two weeks ago. I was devestated. I'm not trying to get you to keep your baby because it is your choice. But seriously, abortion is horrible on you and it is killing a baby that could have had a wonderful life, even when you thought itd be horrible. Theres so many women out there that want a baby, and youre saying you want to get rid of it. Its sad to think, but I do understand if you think youre not ready. I know that adoption was an option for me but I dont think I could have given it up. Just think about it. Your boyfriend wants it, so you'll have his help. Even if you live paycheck to paycheck, you'll still be living. With a child there will always be someone there that loves you unconditionally and that will be there when noone else is. If you are scared now, think about how nice it'll be to have a baby in your arms in the end. Someone that you made, your miracle.  

And just because your sisters life didn't work out the way she planned, doesn't mean yours won't. Have some faith.
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290018_tn?1240369468
I am going to give you the only advice I can and that is from personal experiance.  I got pregnant when I was 16.  I didnt know what to do.  I actually went to the abortion clinic but couldn't do it.  I ended up going to the most wonderful place in the world and these people helped change my life.  Please look at this website www.thelivingvine.org   If you want to call and speak to someone there you could ask for Debbie she is wonderful.  Please at least look at the site and let me know what you think.  I ended up keeping my baby and there were times that it was hard but I would not change it for the world.  If you decide to place the baby you can pick the family YOU want and you could even do an open adoption so that you could have the chance to stay involved with the child without all the responsibility.  Please let me know something after you look at this.  There is a picture on there of my son and I ...it is on my wedding day.  You can see how truly happy we are and how everything turned out okay.  Sometimes being an adult means sacrafice...it may be hard to carry a child and then give it to someone else to care for but you are a mother now...and that means making the best choice for the child God has entrusted you with.  (By the way I am only 20 years old now so I can understand some of how you feel)
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Avatar_n_tn
Thanks that really helped especially that you are younger then me. I mean i guess it's just harder on me, because i want to get out of this place, but i dont have enough money i mean i got out of the hood 4 real and i was happy about that, because all them shootings that were happening by my window scared me and made me always sleep on the floor, but i mean i moved from the north to the south and its alright now it was better then being on the northside. My boyfriend said that too about my sisters life, because her life just went down i mean God KNOWS i love my niece like she was my own, but at the same time it's just money these places dont care if your family died that moment if you get up and leave then that's on you. I cant afford to loose my jobs, because i have college to pay for, my car needs to be fixed, or i need another one and then there's the apartment. I dont know it makes me cry everytime i think about it, and my best friend in the whole world is excited about it, but no one knows, but me, my man, my best friend, and all of you who read this. I pray that if i was suppose to have this baby give me a sign, and i would get out of college for a while, and do everything i can to take care of that baby. Thanks a million :)
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290018_tn?1240369468
by the way I am going there sometime this weeks to visit the staff and would meet you if you wanted the moral support...
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Avatar_n_tn
Thanks i looked at it, but i have to call them when i get off in 2 more hours, because i dont want no one in my business knowing i'm pregnant. Like i said people like to talk, but honestly i WILL give them a call.
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285896_tn?1237214827
B/c I'm in GA and i know that we have so many programs that give furniture and baby supplies the whole 9.  I know you cant base a pregnancy off of what kind of donations you get from some one but it's a start.  I'm just reaching right now for ways to help you I hate to see a young sister like yourself having such a hard time.  Do you mind if I go through my state and get some info close to you that will help you out in WHAT EVER DECISION you make?
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Avatar_n_tn
Of course ANYTHING WILL HELP
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290018_tn?1240369468
I really hope you do.  It is a wonderful program and even if you don't decide to go there they know people and resources that may be of a great help to you.  Tell them Rachel told you to call if you want.  Anyways it was actually a lot of fun and I wish I could go back.  I will be praying for you.
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Avatar_n_tn
I would love to, but unfortunately i have to stay at work, and i cant get vacation time until the summer., but i will call Debbie and go from there. Thanks again :)
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290018_tn?1240369468
Best of Luck!
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285896_tn?1237214827
I will research some other things for you and tomorrow I"ll let you know what I find.  I'm getting ready to get out of here (work) and go have my ultrasound done.  But tomorrow I will let you know what I've found in your state.  What's your area code?
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Avatar_n_tn
Aawww congrats to you :( but i live in Duval county 904 thanks
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Avatar_n_tn
im sorry but how could you even think of killing your own baby?? thats like trying to play god, if you arent supposed to have this baby you wont but you are 19 and legally an adult, i am 17 and i had a miscarriage and got a d&c done on july 27th and now possibly pregnant again already, and i know how you feel about this not being the right time and you can never be ready for a baby, but you should really think long and hard about what you are thinking about, i cant tell you the right or wrong answer, but i can tell you that despite of all my bills ( moved out of parents a few days ago ) that i would make being a mother work for me because I AM a mother now... there is nothing that can bring me more joy then saying that .... no matter what my age is
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Avatar_n_tn
First off not to sound rude, but you dont know my situation there is more to the story, but i'm not finna tell my whole life story to strangers i mean thats great and all, but you dont know what i've been through i dont know what you have been through if you really read what i had wrote it said i didnt want to, it's just that i'm not ready, because of other reasons. It's not the fact that i want to it's the simple fact that i rather my baby live good then child services come and take my baby. I sturggled everyday trynna get out the hood So i'm sorry that i didnt live a perfect life i grew up with guns, knives. people coming in your house unannounced, because they can. Locks wasn't good enough for doors, for some odd reason they found a way So YES if that makes me a "BAD" Mother, becausei worry about the safety of my child and i have to be scarred to wake up every second to check on my baby to make sure he or she is ok then yes i would rather have let my baby rest in heaven then come down here and somebody take my baby. I DONT WANNA DO IT, but at the same time yes i did get out of that neighborhood, but the **** i been through people over here is out to get everyone. Reguardless the situation. There is ssssooooooooo much more to the story, but as i said call me what you wanna call me but you dont know me and i dont know you. I mean thanks for the comment i aint trynna be a b**ch i'm just being honest. I would LOVE to keep my baby, but at the same time i dont have MONEY. i have enough to support just me and help my sister out with $100 a month. I neva said anything about age i mean i did, but really at this point it's juss money. but thanks 4 the comment and sorry if i offended you in any way.
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285848_tn?1219095913
AMEN TO THAT! :) I did not care that I was only 18 and people were telling me it was a mistake. No mistake to me! I was glad! I'm proud that I was going to be a mom and I'd make a damn good one at that. I wish I was still pregnant I really do. After my m/c my mom even asked me "If you had the choice of not being pregnant anymore or still being pregnant, what would you chose?" Damn straight I said Id rather be pregnant still.
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Avatar_n_tn
i do not want to offend u in any way at all, but there are ways to get help, i would just hate to think that you would accually go through with it and regret it later, you can get medicaid to help with medicle bills, and there are so many programs out there that can help you get free food, diapers, even toys and car seats, im just sayin there are other opportunities than hurting not only a baby but yourself too, i know that i do not know my story or **** you have been through but i do know how it feels to be pregnant and scared, but i was reassured that there was help out there and you cant be reluctant to take help when you need it
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Avatar_n_tn
Yea i know i wanted to get on WIC, because my step sister did, but at the same time my situation was messed all the way up ya know? but i dont know i might keep it, because some one one here has really came out and actually tried helping me, besides saying what i should and shouldn't do. I mean i'm happy for all of you guys who can do it, but just know i have reasons why.
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285896_tn?1237214827
I'm late with your info but I have it....(904)253-1170 WIC Free Formula through out your baby's 1st year.  (904) 632-0600 Medicaid, foodstamps, housing and furniture assistance.  I know this is not a "cure all" but every little bit helps.  I also have someone in my office trying to get in touch with someone there so you can have a name to reference and he/she can be expecting your call.  I'm looking for other things that can help you as well.  Sometimes we just have to lean on eachother for support and that's ok.  Dont feel bad about any decision you have to make to give you and yours a better opportunity!  Let me know if I can help you with anything else.  
                                                     HINT......
You Live ALONE, and you're struggling!  Not trying to tell you how to beat the system, you know I have a moral code to up hold!!!! :)
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