I need a woman's thoughts

[blueskye20]

Hello Ladies.  This morning when I woke up my man rolled over in bed and gave me a big hug and started to cuddle.  Then, as he was cuddling he starts touching my belly and says "why arent you pregnant yet?"  I just started crying.  He wont admit it but for a while I've been thinking that he thinks its my fault.  I'm doing everything right.  I'm timing it and checking my temps and my CM and I even got the ovulation predictors for this month.  We've been trying since september and I'm starting to feel depressed about it.  When he said what he said it made my heart break.  He already has a 5 year old child and his ex got pregnant with this first "hookup".  Its starting to get me down and I just need to know what another womans thoughts, feelings and attitudes towards this are.  Am I alone!!!  What is wrong with me!!!

[blueskye20]

Thanks.  I've also been testing for ovulation.  I think I might not be ovulating at all.  I havent gotten anything but a faint pink line.  I havent even noticed any change in my CM for the past few months.  I think it might be my body thats not working properly.  Anyway, I'm going to see the doctor tomorrow and I'm taking all my cycle charting and concerns with me.  Hopefully she'll be able to tell me what I'm doing wrong or what I can do to make it right.  I need some prayers.

[Hales20]

Hey,

I know how you feel.

My partner rubs my belly sometimes & says "is my baby in there' but then when i say 'lets have sex coz im ovulating' he always (well most of the time) says 'im tired tonight' or 'i cant be bothered'........ but then he wants me to be pregnant? Errm... No.

Actually last night we had a big fight over this as i said he is gotta stop thinking about himself all the time and what he wants etc etc.....

Anyways, hopefully tonight i might have some luck . Im currently on CD13 & havent had 'it' since CD9...... havent noticed any CM yet so hopefully it comes today or tonight & then get some luck tonight!!

Good Luck xx BABY DUST TO YOU *******************************

[blueskye20]

Thanks.  I feel so alone.  I dont have any women around me that I can talk to about this. I do feel rejected, very rejected.  I often feel like I'm not rpetty enough or good enough for him.  I think I'm going to take your advice though and and give him no foreplay... I think after a week or two of nothing he'll come around and be begging for it.  Anyway, thanks agian.

[JoyRenee]

Well then there is your answer, sweetie! He can't get you pregnant if he doesn't give the goods up during sex. Ask him if he seriously wants another child and then tell him to give 100% which means no "foreplay"... only intercourse allowed!

And don't stress over temps and CM. When you see ANY cervical mucous have sex. It keeps sperm alive. I know it sucks when you feel rejected like that, so here's a big sisterly *HUG* and I hope you guys figure this out and have a baby soon!

[blueskye20]

I have also been having trouble getting him to where I need him.  Its fustrating me because when I try to get him excited and frisky with his favorite thing he just wants me to finish him that way and then, maybe then, we'll have intercourse the second time around.  Its fustrating because if i do get him the first time and I get seconds hes not as hard, not as pleasing and thats not as much sperm.  I've been trying to just tease him and get him to have intercourse with me first but he says "i'm too tired" or I worked all day".  I am so fustrated!

[LosingMyMindInGA]

First of all, just becuase you aren't pregnant does NOT mean there is something wrong with you.  It sounds to me like you feel an enormous amount of pressure to become pregnant and that in itself is going to hold you back.  You and your husband need to have a talk about relaxing on the trying so hard.  Make love, have fun and enjoy yourselves...just dont use any preventative measures and you may wind up getting pregnant a lot faster and easier....It takes time...each time is different.  

I got pregnant 2 mos after getting married (ended inm/c)...the next time took over a year...the following time took all of 5 months and I was breastfeeding...then it took 3 years(that ended in m/c) and then it took all of 2 months.  

My husband and I never actively TRIED but we never tried NOT to get pregnant either.  See your OB and get checked out, explain to him/her your concerns...then if everything checks out then you and your husband just enjoy each other and it will happen.

[pat4rod]

I think u should never give up I have a sil that was married and trying for 10 yrs and then out of the blue, she went on to have a healthy beautiful baby girl.

[lovedove1k]

Wow, I totally know what your going through. My husband I just got married in Jan. of this year but have been together for awhile and we're trying as well. My husband also has a kid with someone else who got preg. first shot. My husband's son is turning 6 this year. I know you feel. I cry to when he saids stuff like that to me. They don't understand how heartbreakin it is for us when we try so hard to get preg. I get depressed and really upset almost every month everytime the ept saids 'no.' I think when you try so hard, it's like a emotional roller coaster ride. I've heard that you have to 'relax' and not try so hard. Which I know is extremely hard to do. I've been told it takes atleast a year to get preg. for couples. If you can't preg. after a year, they say that talkin to your doc. about Clomid helps you get preg. My sis took it and now is on her second kid. Talk to your obgyn about it and see what they say. I really hope you have better luck than I. Good luck!

[richeygirl]

I agree with all the ladies don't stress & don't give up. My dh has an 5yr old daugther & he & his ex wasn't even trying & He & I were trying for three mths the first time I got pregnant which ended in an m/c. Now we are trying again now. But I wish you the best of luck.

[miko_latte]

Don't feel hopeless!!! That's how I felt at first too...my baby's dad already has an 8 year old daughter, so before I got pregnant and we were trying and everytime was a false alarm, I started feeling bad because he said "You're the first girl that didn't get pregnant right away..."  but eventually it happened so don't give up hope. I was thinking all this time I couldn't have kids. But don't lose hope!! Best wishes to you!

[pmperez]

Maybe you need to see a RE. I tried to get pregnant for a year with my first husband and nothing.....then for a year with my second husband and finally it happened. We had his sperm analysis done and was starting to see an RE for me and then it just happened...I dont know how but it did...miscarried and then got pregnant again right away and Im now 3 months...I never thought it would happen...So dont give up or maybe just relax and dont try...we definetly werent trying when I got pregnant right after the miscarriage it was just time...Im thankful...Good Luck!

[blueskye20]

I feel hopeless.  I feel like we've been trying for so long and everyone around me, including many women on this site, are having babies.  My older sister just had her second child and my younger sister just had her first... my boyfriends aunt and cousin each just had a baby.  So why cant I?  I feel like God is punishing me for something.  I want to give up.  Sometimes I feel jealous but I know that wont help anything, it just makes me even the more sadder.

[tyjaksmom]

DO NOT let a man bring you down! Stress can interfere with becoming pregnant. To me, you seem really stressed. Chill out and relax. My mom tried 6 years to have me... and shes says Im the best thing that ever happen to her.
It took me 8 months to get pregnant with my first -doing everything right- Then with my second it took about 2 years. Every woman is different! You are your own woman. Don't think about his first child's Mother. Your not her! It may take a while, but  if its meant to be.. you'll get pregnant. Biggest thing for you right now is just to relax* Enjoy life, love!

[evthing4reason]

40% of fertlilty problems are related to the male. You both need to be living a healthy lifestyle, taking vitamins, no smoking, no drinking . If it were me, i'd google male fetility and show him the stuff you'll find about taking vitamins and what he needs to be doing to create healthy sperm...get him involved and that way it will feel like you guys are doing this together