Pregnancy 18-24 Community
I think I'm pregnant - I can use support
About This Community:

This patient support community is for discussions relating to pregnancy and childbirth in women age 18 to 24.

Font Size:
A
A
A
Background:
Blank
Blank
Blank
Blank Blank

I think I'm pregnant - I can use support

I drunkenly hooked up with a friend of mine, and we were too messed up to use protection. I have not been on the pill for 6 months because I have not been having sex.

My period is a week late, and today I took an EPT and it came out positive. I am sick to my stomach; I don't know what to do. There is no one I can talk to about this. I am away at law school, in a strange state, no friends near me, and I feel utterly alone.

I know I have to call Planned Parenthood soon and see about a medical abortion. Has anyone here had one of these? How did it go? I can't believe I was so stupid. I want to cry! There is no way I can have a child right now, and I would never have one like this. I think a baby deserves married parents in a loving relationship, who are financially stable, and ready.

Can anyone give me some support? :(
Related Discussions
40 Comments Post a Comment
Blank
355049_tn?1272259988
I am sorry that you feel so alone, however I cant tell you what do about an abortion. Can you not give the baby up for adoption? Have you not even told your friend about it? Maybe he would like to keep the baby, I have  a few friends who would love to have a baby but can not....  I can understand you not being ready and the last thing I want to do is make you feel berated by me. Babies need love yes, that is why you could give it up for adoption. But if you feel you can live with your self and you have exhausted all other options than only you know what you should do. However if this guy is a "friend" I think you should consider telling him..... Best of luck to you
Blank
336902_tn?1242009690
i have no right to force you into any decision.. but i really hope that you will not go with abortion. please give the baby chance of living.. you can always put thebaby up for abortion.
Blank
336902_tn?1242009690
i mean 'ADOPTION'..!
Blank
262705_tn?1235706678
yeah i agree try to talk to your friend i understand your away and in law school and you feel like damn how could this happen but lots of women who are in the midst of getting their career together or finishing up with gettting their degree. please dont get an abortion. try the adoption thing and if you cantr carry a baby for nine months and then give the baby away then i think maybe discussion it with your friend who knows he might want the baby and even have a family. but its up to you and i'm not trying to make you feel bad or anything but best of luck to you. and get that law degree miss misey.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Hi,  You do what ur heart of hearts is telling u to do.  Ur gonna have to live with the decision for the rest of ur life - whether u keep the baby or not.  I dont't think this is the best forum for looking for support - a lot of women here would give everything to be in ur position.  Make the right decision for u - only advice I can give. It will work out - just trust ur instincts!  Good luck!
Blank
279415_tn?1217375230
Just a thought, I went back to school after i had my daughter.  I am still in school she just turned 2 and I am 13 weeks prego with baby number 2.  I couldn't be happier.  Just b/c you are pregnant doesnt mean you have to give up your dreams, if anything a baby is more of a reason to follow those dreams and more of a force to push you to suceed.  that baby depends on you.  I'm not going to say that it is incredible easy, b/c its not.  But it is doable and worth it.  There are plenty of options but you are the only one who can make it for you, I also think you should tell you friend, he may want you to keep the baby, and he may be willing to take the baby off your hands once its born.  Also I am not married, but engaged and my child is healthy and extremly happy.  Things happen for a reason, take it as a sign for the best.
Blank
202436_tn?1326477933
First let me say this...don't automatically consider Abortion as the only option.  I'm not going to get on a soap box but many, many women go on to TRULY regret doing such a thing.  I understand you are at school....perhaps adoption...many potential adoptive parents will cover all expenses and help you along the way.  Please PLease PLEASE go talk to planned parenthood or another organization in your area....There is a poster here who works for an organization that can help you.  The screen name is NJEOSYS....please find this person.  There is a post somewhere on here that has a number you can call.  You are carrying a beautiful life inside of you and there are thousands of couples out there who would truly LOVE to take that child and give it a safe, loving, warm home.  

I had my first child at the age of 18...the dad was and still is a dead beat.... my mom, though not happy, helped me out tremendously.  My daughter is now a happy, healthy, extremely bright 11 yo.  
Blank
268356_tn?1236006204
Wow, this is probably the most difficult decision that you will ever make. It is one that you will always look back on and wonder if you did the right thing. I think the first step in making that decision is to discuss this with the young man who is the babies father. From there talk to your parents, they may be disappointed at first but will ultimately be a lifeline for you. Seek out a planned parenthood type establishment and look at all the options. My sister had an abortion about a year and a half ago and has regretted it since. I don't want you to be in that category. I was pregnant at 17, carried to term, kept my child, and still went to school. It wasn't easy, but there are alot of resources for women in your position. Just to let you know. My daughter is now 9 years old, I have three BS degrees in Computer Science and I am now working on my MS in Managment Info Systems. You will be amazed at the extra tuition assistance and loan opportunities that open up when you are considered an independent, which you will be if you decide to carry this child. If you feel that is truly not an option, I hope that you will consider giving your child up for adoption. There are so many couples who have been trying to concieve (conceive) and have spent thousands and thousands of dollars on infertility treatments only to be disappointed every month. Your gift would be a blessing to those couples.
Blank
283175_tn?1295540865
Well you poor thing,

There is no way I can have a child right now, and I would never have one like this. I think a baby deserves married parents in a loving relationship, who are financially stable, and ready.

these things you just said are perfectly true.so maybe you should consider adoption,for those reasons,there are plenty of women out there who would love that chance, i totally understand how you feel,but before you make any decisions talk to someone about it,many women manage to have a carrer or study through pregnancy,there are childminding groups,plus you really should discuss this with your friend,he may be happy,and take on the role of careing for your child whilst you study,i hope you have learnt your lesson...i really feel for you but dont rush into anything.
Blank
362408_tn?1236444681
I had an abortion around 5 years ago and i totally regret what i did, i was forced into doing it as my partner didnt want it and said he would leave me if i had the baby and i was only 21 at the time and was too young too see through him and thought i loved him to pieces, i had the abortion and i regret every minute of it. I have possibly just lost a baby and i think that this is my punishment for aborting my baby years ago. You would cope if you had the baby you would have to and you will there must be people worse off than you that have had a baby and cope and manage fine, dont get me wrong it will be a struggle but you will get by as us women are strong and can take anything that is thrown at us.
x
Blank
287246_tn?1318573663
When I was 17, I found out I was pregnant.  I was a senior in HS.  I was very afraid to tell my parents.  I come from a Catholic family and I know that was not their plan for me or my plan for myself.  But even at 17, I couldn't imagine giving up my baby.  But I believe adoption is the most selfless act a mother can do.  I have so much respect for mothers that feel the same way you do but still make the 9 month sacrifice to have that baby and give it the chance at a life it deserves.  As many have said on here, there are so many couples that have spent thousands upon thousands of dollars trying to have a baby.  You could truly be the answer to someone's prayers.  I don't want to preach to you but I urge you to consider adoption.  And even if you decided to keep the baby, you would love it beyond your imagination I believe.  I also urge you to tell your friend.  I could not make that decision and feel right if I didn't at least give that person the opportunity to hear his feelings; especially with him being a friend.  I don't know him but I think he deserves that much.

My son is now 14.  I've had to work hard but as you can see from so many of the posts.....It is possible to have a child and still make your dreams come true.  I now have 5 children and they are truly my motivation for everything in life that I do.  They make me want to be the very best that I can be.  A lawyer could provide a very good life for a child if that is what you decide.

NJEOSYS did post something yesterday with the number that LosingMyMindInGA was talking about.  She works for a pregnancy help center and is a very nice person as she and I communicate outside of the forum.

All I ask (and I know you don't know me), is that you think long and hard before making a decision.

Take Care
Blank
361034_tn?1200706144
YOU SAID baby deserves married parents in a loving relationship, who are financially stable, and ready., which your right it does, It DOESN'T deserve to be aborted because of your actions, why don't you consider adoption?? that way it can have married parents in a loving relationship, who are financially stable, and ready....there are to many people on this forum that would kill to have a baby and someone like you just willing to throw it away because you were drunk..PLEASE PLEASE CONSIDER ADOPTION!!
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
I think everyone pretty much summed it up. I know that you are scared and I was too when I got pregnant at 19 and decided to abort it. Now that I want to have a baby at 30 I am not able to keep the baby I have had a misscarriage and wish like hell I am not going through another right. The one thing is that is true God dont make mistakes so if he didnt think you could not handle it, he would not have placed a baby in your life.
Blank
347484_tn?1213309338
Thanks, Michele, for your kind words. The number for a free crisis pregnancy center I volunteer at is 1-800-550-4900 if you are not comfortable with an abortion. There are a few things I can tell you. First of all, Planned Parenthood isn't designed to give you options. They will push abortion.

Second, you have alternatives. Things you may not realize. Please give the Hotline number a call. You can call 24/7 and speak with a real person who will NOT judge you, who will care for you, see you through the entire pregnancy, and help you find solutions.

I want to refer you to a website. It is called www.hopeafterabortion.com. You can read stories from women who've had abortions. These stories haunt me because they didn't have help or resources. But you do! Please take the time to read their stories.

Also, it is important to find out information about abortion before going through it. You don't need to look at gruesome pictures or crude descriptions. But if you want information on abortion and what it can do to you, then please check out this site: www.abortionfacts.com

You almost sound like you want to be talked OUT of the abortion, like you're really looking for someone to tell you it'll be okay. I know you have dreams and ambitions and having a baby may put those things on hold, but that doesn't mean you have to let your dreams die. You could give a family so much hope, a family who can't have a baby on their own.

Please message me if you'd like to talk. I can give you my personal phone number privately if you message me, but I will not message you and push myself and my views on you. I wish you the best of luck in your decision and I will be here if you need me, whether you choose abortion or not.
Blank
347484_tn?1213309338
I can only guess how far along you are, but I wanted to give you some information on what your baby looks like right now, if that's okay. I'm guessing you're about 6 weeks.

'Growth is rapid this week. Just four weeks after conception, your baby is about 1/8 of an inch long. The neural tube along your baby's back is now closed, and your baby's heart is beating with a regular rhythm.

Basic facial features will begin to appear, including an opening for the mouth and passageways that will make up the inner ear. The digestive and respiratory systems begin to form as well.

Small blocks of tissue that will form your baby's connective tissue, ribs and muscles are developing along your baby's midline. Small buds will soon grow into arms and legs."

Blank
347484_tn?1213309338
Hey, ladies, help me bump this every now and then so gotmee can find it easily when she gets back on.

Bumping just means I'm bumping it back to the top of the list, if anyone wants to know what "bump" means.
Blank
285848_tn?1219095913
I always wondered what bump means! Anyways. I agree 100% with njeosys. I am 18 and graduated high school a few months ago. I found out I was pregnant in september. I was so happy and wanted the baby. I knew I was not in a situation to become a mother, the father did not want me to go through with it either. He told me I would ruin both of our lives. I looked up the procedures for abortion and the risks for your body, future pregnancies, etc. It was horrible! I explained it all to my baby's father and he had a complete change of heart and apologized. As I told him, If you are mature enough to have sex, you are mature enough to handle the consequences of it! We decided to keep it and he was so supportive after that. I would never consider abortion personally, but we understand how you feel. Unfortunately my pregnancy ended in miscarriage, leaving both me and my boyfriend devastated! I just hope you really think everything through before you make a decision. Give the baby a shot at life, its not its fault that you made a mistake and created it. It did not create itself. Not to judge you at all, you are human! Just please consider keeping it or adoption. If you keep it, you will not regret it. If you abort it, you most likely will regret it. Good luck mommy!
Blank
285848_tn?1219095913
I always wondered what bump means! Anyways. I agree 100% with njeosys. I am 18 and graduated high school a few months ago. I found out I was pregnant in september. I was so happy and wanted the baby. I knew I was not in a situation to become a mother, the father did not want me to go through with it either. He told me I would ruin both of our lives. I looked up the procedures for abortion and the risks for your body, future pregnancies, etc. It was horrible! I explained it all to my baby's father and he had a complete change of heart and apologized. As I told him, If you are mature enough to have sex, you are mature enough to handle the consequences of it! We decided to keep it and he was so supportive after that. I would never consider abortion personally, but we understand how you feel. Unfortunately my pregnancy ended in miscarriage, leaving both me and my boyfriend devastated! I just hope you really think everything through before you make a decision. Give the baby a shot at life, its not its fault that you made a mistake and created it. It did not create itself. Not to judge you at all, you are human! Just please consider keeping it or adoption. If you keep it, you will not regret it. If you abort it, you most likely will regret it. Good luck mommy!
Blank
354373_tn?1299188126
feel free to email my Medhelp account if you want to hear my story.......Good luck to you.....
Blank
340408_tn?1209166985
bump...
Blank
159802_tn?1192050658
Abortion is no NOT supposed to be plan B after you decided to not use protection.  If you can manage to strip and have enough aim to  get to your destination than "drunk" shouldn't be an excuse/reason.  Unless we are talking rape, disease, risk to your health than you have yourself a very hard decision to make.  You're  at Law School so I have no lessons for you about what's justified and what isn't.  Good luck with this - It will probably prove to be the hardest decision you will have to make - you are the judge and the jury...  hopefully you aren't the executioner as well.  Take a deep breath, this seems impossible right now but it isn't the end of the world, it's a part of life.  Take yourself out of the equation for 1 minute and look at your dilemma...  Talk to your friend.  Honestly.... I wish you serenity of thought and wisdom in your actions.  It isn't easy being in a situation like yours but deciding to terminate a pregnancy because you were drunk and horny ..?.... come on...   After a certain age we are all responsible for our actions and we live with the consequences,  Find someone to talk to you need to digest this and get through it.  One way or another live will go on for you - It isn't as catastrophic as it seems......
Blank
355049_tn?1272259988
bump..............................................
Blank
347484_tn?1213309338
Bump... please respond gotmee!
Blank
355049_tn?1272259988
bump...................
Blank
340408_tn?1209166985
bump
Blank
365822_tn?1198296615
I am no one important to be getting advice from but I do want to let you know that my first child was concieved unplanned at the age of 15 and I was 16 when I had him with his father no where to be found (I did know who he was just he did not want a child) and like I did at that age. I thought long and hard about aborting the pregnancy but the thought kept on runing through my mind how will this child be one day it could be the next cure for cancer or something, so I decided at about week 8 that abortion was no longer an option and adoption would probably be best. I never felt that I could provide for it being a single mother at my age. I began to feel this little thing inside of me move around and I feel in love with him instantly. I decided I was going to try and if I can't do I would know that at least I tried and this child would know that I did it because I loved him not killed him out of regret. It is know almost 4 years later and he is a very healthy little boy playing, going to school, and one of the most important things in my life. I have graduated high school, recieved my CNA's in high school and now a few time student in nursing recieving a degree for him to help make up for the thought of not wanting him. Everyday that I look at him I am so greatful that I did not make that decision. I hope this has helped you. I know how it feels to make mistakes we all do it just please give that baby that is growing inside of you a chance to see it's future. Good luck with you decision.
Blank
350664_tn?1322829601
bump...
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
hon, first have you ever spoken to someone who has had an abortion? the reason i ask is b/c it can mess your uterus up to where you will never be able to have kids and second b/c yrs and i mean yrs later they still get broken hearted over it and wish they wouldn't have done it. my mom had an abortion when she was 15 after her father raped her. til this day the word "abortion" breaks her heart. she said it is the post painful thing she ever went through physically and emotionally, not to mention the infections that can start in and if you think a baby would make your life over, than you haven't read up enough on abortion. with adoption someone can take  care of your baby financially, physically, etc and give him or her the love he or she deserves. i dont know your religion and dont mean to offend u but abortion is a lot bigger sin than pre marrital sex. also god never gives us anything we cant handle and a child is the greatest gift anyone could ever get. there is always ways to get help with childcare and expenses so you can finish law school. women do it every day and wouldn't have it any other way. good luck and best wishes. hope u never regret your decision.
Blank
347484_tn?1213309338
Bump
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
bump
Blank
287246_tn?1318573663
Bump
Blank
167664_tn?1203976220
I'm sure that you will have many tell you that you should not have an abortion.  You are on a pro-pregancy forum where people are trying to get pregnant so expect pro-life responses.  I understand that  you are in a bad situation and it happens.  I would encourage you to obtain as much information you can about all of your options.  I'm sure you already know this, but there are so many couples who would want to adopt your baby and be willing to pay all of your expenses.  My brother and I were both adopted but I get it.  You have to be willing to be pregnant and that is not an easy decision to make.  If you have an abortion, no one will ever have to know what happened as opposed to carrying the baby to term where everyone will know that you had a baby.  

Most importantly, talk to some people that have had abortions.  I have had several friends who have had abortions and say that it was the hardest, worst thing they had ever done and lived a life of regrets afterwards.  Not to say that is everyone's experience, but it is for some of my friends.  

You have time to research and make an informed decision.
Blank
360328_tn?1204336028
bump
Blank
347484_tn?1213309338
bump
Blank
159802_tn?1192050658
Bump.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
[have to say, hope she comes back to read all of this.] ^
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I'm not going to preach about what I feel is right or wrong, I'll just tell you about what you asked. When I was 17 under extreme pressure from my parents I had an abortion.the procedure itself was pretty simple took about 30 minutes and cost about 1500 total including pre and follow up visits. I had no problems later but I will tell you that the emotional impact is huge. It is something I still struggle with even though it was 5 years ago. My advice is to really think it through. Think about how you will feel later. No matter what decision you make you will have emotions about it just make sure the decision you make is one you can deal with. Because no matter what the decision is it will stay with you your whole life. Hope this helps a little.
Blank
355049_tn?1272259988
BUMP......
Blank
296076_tn?1371338074
I think it was a joke.. she never came back in
Blank
168077_tn?1200234977
Do not punish an unborn child for something you have done.  I agree with the others PLEASE consider adoption.  The child deserves to have a loving family.  Good Luck!
Blank
Post a Comment
To
Blank
Weight Tracker
Weight Tracker
Start Tracking Now
Pregnancy 18-24 Community Resources
RSS Expert Activity
469720_tn?1388149949
Blank
Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm-treatable... Blank
Oct 04 by Lee Kirksey, MDBlank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
The 3 Essentials to Ending Emotiona...
Sep 18 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
Control Emotional Eating with this ...
Sep 04 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
Top Pregnancy Answerers
8765505_tn?1399768536
Blank
ash060115
Ireland
Avatar_f_tn
Blank
OctoberBaby5
Avatar_f_tn
Blank
LadyBeeley
AR
Avatar_f_tn
Blank
proudFTMTeTe
milwaukee, WI
9309926_tn?1405450656
Blank
Jessika20
Deltona, FL
7226538_tn?1414494357
Blank
Mommy_Daddy_2
Newport News, VA