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Iam so sad

Iam so sad coz my best friend had a m/c last night and now i am not sure  what to say to her because of myself also being pregnant , i just feel so guilty about mentioning anything in my pregnancy , coz her lost was her first pregnancy and i know its going to be hard for her.
Does anyone have any advice or have being in a situation like this one before,
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446156 tn?1275859576
I just wanted to write and say that I understand what your friend is going through.  My best friend got pregnant at the same time.  I was pregnant with twins.  I lost the first in the 1st 3 weeks then the 2nd at 20 weeks.  I gave birth to a little girl and then had to plan a funeral for her.  My friend didn't know what to say an couldn't handle the stress being she had some problems also so she never called, never wrote, nothing.  I was heart broken.  I was grieving the loss of my baby and my best friend.  After about 8 months I wrote her a VERY angry email asking her why.  Well we started talking again.  Keep in mind by then I had heard from friends that she had a baby girl.  Every time I see her baby I thought about my loss.
  Then a year later I found out that I was pregnant again.  I was SO happy.  Five days after finding out I was pregnant I woke up in the middle of the night in HORRIBLE pain.  I had a egg topic pregnancy.  They removed one of my tubes.  About 1 months later the same friend got pregnant again.  The difference this time was that we had talked about it.  She has 2 kids now and I still don't have any.  There are times that i'm alone and I'm looking at her kids pics I get depressed.  When I see them I can't help but think its not fair and wonder what my babies would had looked like.
  I guess what I'm trying to say is that you just need to be a friend to her.  Just don't rub your belly or talk about your baby unless she brings it up.  And if she gets moody with you just tell her to call you when she is ready and keep your distance.  She is going to go through depression due to the drop in hormone levels.  She may even produce breast milk and earn for her baby.  She could get near a baby and leak milk even though she doesn't have a baby of her own.  Then not to add she will have to sort through all the baby stuff she bought or was given... that one is a real heart breaker.  I fell to my knees the first time I went into what was going to be the nursery.  And don't take any of the baby stuff that she has because it can trigger thoughts of "that was meant to be for my baby"...  needless to say that wouldn't be good.
  I hope this is helpful.  I'm going to be praying for you friend.  God Bless...
                                                 Anita Rachelle DeVall
Helpful - 0
435139 tn?1255460391
Well, on the same day I called my long distance best friend to tell her I had a mc, she told me that she was pregnant-with her fourth child.  I was on my first.  It was so hard for me to hear her 'good' news.  Your friend is hurting right now and no offense but she probably doesn't want to hear about your pregnancy at all right now...no matter how close you are with her.  I love my best friend like a sister, and she has been incredibly supportive and calling to check on me and keeping her pregnancy low key so to speak...she has been really positive (she's had 2 mc so she understands how devastating the loss is) and telling me that my time will come soon, and just listening when I want to talk about it and being a good friend when I don't want to talk about it.  I think the most important thing is to just be a friend (that sounds cliche but it's true!)  Try to stay positive and supportive and focus on her healing.  Hope this helps.
Helpful - 0
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