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Low sexual desire after birth.
Hello everyone. My girlfriend and I had a baby together almost 9 months ago. We found out that she was pregnant after 2 months together. I'm 19 and shes 17. Shes graduating high school this year. Im a full time college sophomore with straight "A"s. we love him more than anything. Anyway, before we even found out she was pregnant, we were having sex about 2-3 times per day when we were together. We would stay together a lot over summer of 2011. Her sex drive was unbelievable; she always started with me, talked about sex and doing things together, and looked forward to having sex. now, and it's like she has no intentions or desire to have sex. Actually, I have to ask her if we can have sex together before-hand. She hates talking about it, never starts with me, and even hates when I bring sex or anything about sex up to her. It actually hurts me a lot. I always find myself thinking that I'm doing something wrong or that she is losing her attraction towards me. I always try to be cute and start with her, but she completely rejects me. Will her sex drive ever come back? Help please! What do I do? Thanks so much for any advice/help.
They say it takes a good 3-4 weeks for the meds to build up in your system but I could tell a difference almost immediately. And thank you!!
I think its normal bc i was the same im 17 & he is 22 ... before i got prego we used to have sex all the time then i got prego nd went from.3-4 times a day to none i just didnt felt like having intercourse, Now i just had my bby 5 weeks ago nd im starting to get my sex life back but im like 3 times a week or so .. just talked to her i hope she understands nd yu could solve yur problem soon (: good luck
Thank you! I will talk to her and see if she will at least try it. How long does it take for the medicine to "kick in" I guess? Thanks again. Hope everything goes well with your family as well, and congrats on the little one on the way!
No problem! I really hope she will talk to the doctor. I went on for over 2 years and just thought it has to get better, there is no way it can last this long. I did not want to take medication but once I finally broke down and talked to the doctor and started taking the meds I was like Wow, why did it take me so long to finally do this?! There is nothing wrong with taking medicine. Lots of moms go through these feelings after having a baby. Really hope everything works out for the both of you!
Thank you very much. I think she does, but I didn't think it would last this long :( She always seems like she is upset or something along the lines of that. I didn't know they made medication for that, I'll have to find a way (that she wont get mad) to talk to her about that. Hey, a better sex life is better than no sex life. Lol, at least I know I'm not alone now and it's not unusual to be feeling like this. She always says that she could go forever without it too! I say to myself, I have no clue how you can, because I definitely can't. I always thought it was weird how someone can go to wanting to have sex everyday to never wanting to have sex. I'll have to try to talk to her about the medication. Thanks again!
Did she have any problems with post partum depression? Seem like she has low self esteem or down alot? If so she should talk to a doctor about medication. I went on for 2 years thinking it will get better and it never did...finally talked to a doctor and got on meds and lost weight and felt so much better about myself which led to better sex life but still nothing like it was before kids, It definetly helped alot! But im pregnant again so am off the medication so Im back to no sex drive :( Lol I feel like I can go for ever without it but I do feel bad for my hubby...I know he feels the same way your describing!
I don't always ask her if she wants to. But I can tell that if I try, I will always get rejected, so I feel like I have to ask. It kinda feels like I have to set up an appointment to have sex with her. Believe me, she knows how much I appreciate her lol. And we actually go out a lot. I try to dress up nice and take her out and be romantic, but it never seems to work. I'm not expecting to have sex like we used to, but the rejection and lack of affection is starting to get to me... Also it's hard because I have no body that I feel comfortable talking with this stuff with, except her. But when I do try and talk with her about this stuff, it's like the end of the world.
I hate to say this but I had my daughter 3 1/2 years ago and still haven't gotten mine back :( Nothing seems to work.
Its ok im that way right now my boyfriend hates it dont ask thats qst my bf does she most likely say no because shes tired and takeing care of the baby take it slow and make her feel pretty maybe take her out somewhere nice and show her u apritiat her and everything she does :)
Firstly remember that in all relationships people usually have a lot more sex as it is all new, fresh and exciting. As time goes on it is not realistic to keep it up and as your love grows you start to get pleasure from other things too. Add a baby into the mix with exhaustion and drastic body changes sex drive usually does decrease even more. Flood her with compliments and try to concentrate on appreciation for the other things she does for you and your child. The worst thing you can do is to keep asking her as she may start to feel pressured and guilty. Things should pick up again if you carry on to ensure she feels loved and secure. I would try not to make any gestures and let her make the first move. Maybe try cuddling up, kissing etc. You may find that if you try not to expect it, it may just happen.
Get all dressed up, take her somewhere nice, have your son stay with a family member for the night, be romantic with her & tell her how beautiful she is, how much she means to.you, kiss her, maybe things will just happen naturally, just don't ask her if you can have sex, it kinda ruins the spontaneity of it all :) good luck
Thank you. Yes she is on birth control. And I do a lot of things with her. We go out to eat (with and without our son), we go to the movies, play games, etc. I just don't ever know when a good time to make sexual gestures towards her are, or if I even should. Also, will her lack of sexual desire ever get back to normal? Thank you guys.
Its completely norml after the birth of a baby to loose the desire for sex for a while, your girlfriend is young and she sounds as though she is extremely busy, with a baby and school etc, she may also have some body issues as well, most women do after having a baby, just try not to pressure her, I doubt if it is anything to do with you personally, so dont take it personally.... maybe just back off abit and try and do this with her that dont revolve around sex, so if you can got out to a movie, cook her a dinner that she likes etc and see how you go :)
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