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MIL
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MIL

So my husband wants his mother in the delivery room and I DO NOT. I am 100% unconfortable with her being in there. I really don't have anything against her, I am just not close with her at all and she gets on my nerves a little. She didn't help us AT ALL with our wedding, and never got us a gift for the shower or for our wedding (i know it's not about the gifts, but she would keep saying that she had a gift for me, and never actually did) I want my mom in the delivery room, so I feel a little bad that I dont want her in there, but not enough to give in and let her be there. I'm very close with my mom and reallu need
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Avatar_f_tn
Need her support during labor. Any suggestions for how I should tell him that I dont want his mom there, or do you think i'm being unreasonable? Thanks for any help ;)
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1577200_tn?1331729319
just relax and tell those nurse in delevery room , they will kick everyone out , even if u dont want ur husband there. they kick him out too . then those nurses are going to be a bad guy.
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1194973_tn?1385507504
I would just be upfront and blunt with him. Who you want in there is a very personal choice as you're the one baring everything to the world.
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Avatar_f_tn
I'm the same way! I don't want my mother in law in there either, and I have nothing against her. I just think it is weird. I on the other hand don't want anyone in there except my husband. I just don't know how to tell my mom and my mother in law.
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1551110_tn?1327187622
i have 4 sisters and we all have out mum in the delivery room i would never dream of having anyone other than her and my other half there id just tell him its you giving birth so you choose your birthing partners.. thats the whole point of having people there so that your comfortable and feel supported good luck hun hope you make him see sence ;)
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Avatar_f_tn
Same thing here, I'm compromising with allowing both moms. I don't like it and his mom has done things against me alot, but then again, I'm doing it for my husband not myself,
I'll have my mom and he can have his on the understanding of she has to play nice or else shell be asked to leave
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1794093_tn?1357934359
I absolutely agree with Clysta, this may be his child but you are the one doing EVERYTHING at this point! there is no way at all i would have my MIL in the delivery room, like Clysta said that is a very personal choice and not his in the least bit! its not about being equal...meaning both your moms present, its about you being comfortable... i think if my guy even suggested this i would rip his head off, i like my space and my MIL gets on my nerves pretty easy and i dont think i could tell him no in a nice way! i am so sorry that he would even ask you this! im in shock thinking how angry i would be that he would think thats okay? lol i was gonna just have my guy in the room and me (well obviously? lol) and then my one GF kinda jokingly mentioned she would love to be there and i actually got thinking that my guy is not good with hospitals or blood or much of anything that would involve birthing a baby, so i asked if he would mind and i think it gave him some relief in a way, take the pressure off kinda deal so i did plan on her and him in there but i made sure it was someone he would feel comfortable with and she was prepared to be there for both of us as she knows him and whats hes like but i wouldnt have choose anyone that either one of us was worried about, but if i did want my mom in there, there is no way he would have a say in if she could be there or not as it is up to the mom and and only the mom!! id just say not gonna happen and thats that! lol
PS i ended with a c section so it was just my guy but the staff was so good to him and the nurse took the camera from him so he didnt have to get up or risk seeing me cut open lol
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1309497_tn?1368321787
I would tell him straight up you're not comfortable with having her in there.  Even though i had a c-section and it was just my hubby and i in there, Had my MIL been there while I was having my twins, I wouldn't have let her in my room (and i would have made it VERY well known). She didn't even come see our babies until 6 weeks after they were born and hasn't seen them since or even offered to really do anything for them.
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640548_tn?1340556955
My MIL is one of my closest friends, but I STILL wouldn't want her in the delivery room with me.  I am lucky in that DH wouldn't want her there either, I can only imagine how he would feel looking at her knowing she was there while I was baring all to the world and screaming like a banshee (that's how it was since I refused the epidural).  I don't think she would be comfortable afterwards either.  Ask him how he would feel if your mom saw him completely naked, it would be uncomfortable for a while!  Tell him how you feel and that you will need all your concentration on the task at hand, with minimal distractions.
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1806883_tn?1407811249
If your not comfortable with her being in there with you then its a big NO, and dont be afraid to tell him, say its nothing personal but nooooo, :) there is nothing worse than feeling like you cant "let go"and do what you have to do because someone is there that you dont want to be there, my father inlaw inadvertantly ended up by being in the room when I gave birth to one of my babies, and I was sooo aware that he was there and felt like I had to hold back so the f's wernt as loud as I'd wanted them to be:0 to this day I still cant believe he was there!!! grrr
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Avatar_f_tn
Ur mom is ur mom. And if ur mother in law had a girl, she could b in there too. I wouldnt. I would just say im very uncomfy.
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Avatar_f_tn
Thank you all! It was very good advice and helps alot. I told him no, but it's like he doesn't get it and thinks i'll change my mind or something. Ughhh well, I still have 5 months to go...so i'll figure out a way to let him know i'm serious and i'm not budging on this
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1927715_tn?1392059540
I was telling my mil who I wanted.in the room and she proceeded to say "and me too". I said Uh no. I.told my husband even tho this is his child labor is about me and what I need seeing I will be the one in.pain not him. So needles to say she will NOT be in there.
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419964_tn?1333305506
Just Tell your DH, If he was having a physical being stark naked would he allow your mother to be in the room, that way he can hopefully understand how uncomfortable it is for you to have his mom in the room with you.
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Avatar_f_tn
Wow I would be pissed if my husband told me he wanted his mom, or anyone else in the room. My first I only had my husband in the room, and that's how it will be this time. I am very close with my mom and part of me wanted her in there, but I really wanted it to be a special moment between my husband, myself and our baby. But there is NO way I would ever allow my MIL in the room. And u said u are 100% uncomfortable with the idea of her being there, so I would def tell him firmly no. Don't look at it as trying to make ur husband happy, its about u and the baby when u are giving birth and the only thing that matters at that time is you being comfortable so u can deliver ur baby healthy. Tell ur doctor ahead of time that the only people u want there is ur mom and husband, and tell ur nurses when ur in labor. They will keep everyone else out.
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Avatar_f_tn
I would be frank with him as well, and persistent. If you think you're husband isn't "getting it", I would suggest a birth class that shows videos of live births and/or just googling some yourself so he can fully grasp what you are both in for. My husband was fully supportive of my preference for privacy (although maybe surprised I didn't want my mother there?), but I think the videos made it more "real" (for both of us!) and of course, being through it once already, it's not even an option this time to have anyone other than us and medical staff present.
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581359_tn?1358282565
I wouldn't be mad at him he just doesn't get it. You can tell him that maybe she can be at the hospital but not in the delivery room your body your call.  She can be there once the baby is born to see the baby if he REALLY wants her there but he's there to support you during the delivery, it's about you not him.  Once the baby is there it's different he may want his mom there to see his baby right away.
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