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492921 tn?1321289896

No Sex drive while pregnant

Oh my gosh! I can't believe how much I DO NOT want to have sex. Poor BF I feel so bad and every time he asks or tries to I feel even more guilty for not wanting to. It actually hurts and then for a few days I'm soar. I really wish that I could have sex right now with out it hurting. We went from having sex every day some times twice a day to 2-3 times a week if that.

He keeps saying "I thought pregnant women are suppose to want more sex?" I keep telling him probably later on in like the second trimester I should get the desire back. I'm 10wks now hopefully...

How do you deal with not wanting to have sex when your partner wants it still? I think I'm gonna try and talk to the Dr today at my appointment about this.
21 Responses
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Avatar universal
Seriously, like we don't have enough problems with pregancy as it is that they do not understand and never could. This not having sex thing is driving us apart. We normally talk about things but that is not the case here. There is no talking going on. I don't think we have had an adult conversation in over two weeks. I don't even know how to deal with this. I truly do not think he understands how this is making me feel knowing that it is making him feel unloved and unwanted. It is painful and causes resentment when I do it even though my body doesn't want to. I grit my teeth and bear it but then don't want to be anywhere near him. He chooses more often than not to spend time away from me with only makes it worse. I really just needed to say these things to someone.
Helpful - 0
1580318 tn?1550254481
Hmmm I guess I was lucky when I was pregnant 6 years ago.

My sex drive never changed while pregnant. I still wanted it all the time. My DF never complained ;)
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
When I was pregnant I didn't want to have sex AT ALL! I was to tired and to big. I was really uncomfortable my entire pregnancy and told DhH about my discomforts all the time. This worked in my favor because he said he didn't want to hurt me or the baby and was happy just lying beside me...hehehe a little white lie never hurt.
Helpful - 0
1726707 tn?1362530938
My husband is a horn dog and I hate sex it hurts really bad before, during, and after but I do it for love. I can't blame grime because my sex drive has issues one day its high then Two weeks nothing ...... I think he is frustrated by me so I just wait for him to fall asleep on the couch then sneak away to my bedroom
Helpful - 0
1790045 tn?1317184484
Haha!! My husband and I just had an argument over this!! He wants it and I don't. Ever. It is umcomfortable it hurts. Well more like burns both during and afterwards and I just don't want to deal with it. I am 13w5d and I am still nauseous and even other "options" don't work.

With my son it was the exact opposite and so I guess my husband was hoping it would be the same with this one. But it's not and no matter how hard I try to tell him this he just gets grouchy and doesn't want to listen. :/
Helpful - 0
1826299 tn?1317613368
I'M 5 MONTHS, AND SEX TO ME IS A NO NO. IT HURTS N I DON[T WANT IT. BUT I CAN'T GET MY BF TO SEE THAT. HE GETS MADE BUT I REALLY WISH HE WOULD UNDERSTAND. MAYBE I NEED TO TAKE HIM TO THE DOC WITH ME. HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I completely understand, this is my thrid pregnancy, my first two my sex drive was extremely high, and this one I don't even think about it till he ask's me. I really don't want to but sometimes I feel bad and just have sex even though, I don't enjoy it, and can't wait for it to end. I just pretend, which I feel even worst about it.For the ladies you are lucky enough for your husband/boyfriends to be understanding, lucky you....I wish. This issue has created alot or arguments in my house hold which I don't feel we need to have. He has become very selfish, and if he doesn't get to have sex a couple days a week, then he makes me feel horrible and says he might as well find someone else till the baby is born. So it makes the situation even harder on me.
Helpful - 0
689528 tn?1364135841
Same here! I'm 11 weeks and we've done it maybe 3 or 4 times since conceiving! He's the one that's more nervous about it at this point. When we did it the first time I bled a bit and cramped up a bit and that I think scares him a little.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I completely understand these women, i have ZERO sex drive now approaching the 5th month and havnt had a sex drive throughout my pregnancy so far. I have a wonderful BF who is being LESS than understanding and wonderful about this situation. I try to explain that its not him but he dosnt want to hear it. this is my third pregnancy and the first time this has happened to me and im at a loss. i dont quite know what to do anymore. how can i make him understand whats going on with my body?
Helpful - 0
676912 tn?1332812551
It sounds like your hubby is at least understanding...he's joking about it. That's not bad. He's suffering, but like I said it sounds like he understands why.
Helpful - 0
492921 tn?1321289896
I have a very congested nose too so the few times I've tried to please him other way it hasn't worked out to well either. He keeps saying "i gave you a baby now u don't want sex" makes me feel like I just used him till I got what I wanted and now I have no use for him. I know he's joking and he says he doesn't mean itthat way but with crazy hormones things are sometimes taken the wrong way.  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Heheh lol! this is crazy! I guess it is normal! But then again i always tell my hubby remember you did this to me so now you have deal with the consequences. I am in general not a Sex Driven Person. Even when I am not pregnant I don't feel the need for sex o often maybe once a week and maybe because I am so tired all the time from being a working mom, wife etc. I don't know :( I feel for my hubby though!
Helpful - 0
676912 tn?1332812551
LOL. I have the exact OPPOSITE story. When I was pregnant with DS it's like my hormones were on overdrive, DH's were completely shut down. We didn't have sex very often, especially after I started showing, he "thought he would hurt the baby" and it was "weird" to him...I suffered, not DH, lol.
Helpful - 0
187316 tn?1386356682
My first pregnancy the very thought of sex turned me off. I had sex maybe a handful of times the whole pregnancy. As for this pregnancy I am not very far along but I still want to have sex all the time. I'm just going to assume that every pregnancy is different.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I'm 32 weeks, wait O SH IM 33 WEEKS NOW!! anyways my libido is non-existant and has been that way since my first trimester. We went from having sex once a day every day to 2-3 times a week to 1 week. We havent had sex for like 3 weeks already cause I had to use some metrogel for some supposed infection and also we were moving apts and there was so much stuff going on by the time night came i was aaaalways tired. I feel so bad for him too, my poor little horny boy :-(
Helpful - 0
1123420 tn?1350561158
I was the same way since about 4 weeks all the way up to about 21 weeks.. I still don't enjoy it as much as I used to. and it bothers me.  And brittney I know what your going through, for awhile we would try it and it would hurt like 5 minutes after words, and then end up hurting/burning for like 2days after words.  I didn't want to upset my DF but there was no way in hell I was gonna go through that pain. I am now 27 weeks, My sex drive hasn't fully come back, but it doesn't hurt anymore. There was one time I think a couple weeks ago that I just new I wanted it, so I started texting DF at work and telling him all my plans for when he got home, and he ended up telling me it was one of the best times he has had, and that it made up for all the past lack of sex.  Once it comes back, which I pray it does, then do something extra special for him.. Oh and even though you cant actually have sex now, I learned there are plenty of other things to do, to satisfy Husband!!!  Good luck!!
Helpful - 0
1160299 tn?1265294797
I feel the same way. I am eight weeks and I feels so bad. I have absolutely no desire to have sex....couldn't we just have a nice conversation instead? lol
Helpful - 0
951477 tn?1293068687
I am on the same boat ladies..lol!!  I am 27weeks now and I think we haven't had sex more than 4 times since I conceived. I just don't feel like it at all.
The few times we had sex I was unconfortable the whole day.
Thankfully my husband has been very understanding about it.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You are good I am 8 weeks and i didn't have Sex since the day I conceived! I just don't feel like having Sex! My Hubby is keep asking and I don't know what to do! I realllyyyyyy don' feel likeeeeee having Sexxxxxx! Same thing happen when I was prego with my son though. It returned at the End of my second trimester!
Helpful - 0
492921 tn?1321289896
we've been using lubricant other wise having sex would be impossible.
Helpful - 0
99457 tn?1321878677
you know i wasnt allowed to have sex for the first trimester and my sex drive didnt really kick back in until about 3 weeks before i had Lily. However my friend was the same, when she had sex she was in physical pain and involentary tears would well up, to the point when she was about 30 weeks the doc had to give her an internal exam and he couldnt because it was too painful. Pretty much see if the doc can talk to him about it, because its not enjoyable for both parties if it is painful. She was advised to use lubricant and that didnt help so they stopped until after her son was born
Helpful - 0
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