Aa
OT--Theres really guys out there like this??
One of my good friends is in her 2nd trimester and her fiance is deployed. Been deployed since the end of January. Well she hasnt heard from him since the beginning of April and everyday she calls me in tears because he hasnt written her back or even called when they pulled into port. Well yesterday i got on facebook and saw that her relationship status changed to "single" so i called her to make sure she was ok. She had no idea what i was talking about! So she signed on and low & behold...he had changed his relationship status to single, thats why hers changed! Then she saw pictures of him that he was tagged in...his boat pulled in for a few weeks before going back out again for another month for sea trial or whatever! ((She lives here in VA & he lives in Cali now. He was stationed in VA & then got stationed in CA & found out he was gonna deploy so he told her to stay here & after his deployment she was going to move out there with him.)) I mean what kind of person breaks up with someone over facebook, especially when that someone is carrying his baby! Then his family started posting stuff on his page about how shes not good enough! Some nerve, shes such a sweet person and is so excited about this baby & was ready to start their family together. It breaks my heart that he would do something like this to her! And then i just found out that another one of my pregnant friends ((34 weeks)) husband has cheated on her 3 times already & had the nerve to tell her that she cant come back to VA to stay with her family while hes deployed! He cleaned out their bank account before he deployed WITHOUT telling her, so she didnt have money to buy a plane ticket! Her dad had to buy it for her and he also paid to have her car shipped back here since her husband is deploying for a year! I mean i know alot of guys who are dogs, but OMG i didnt know how shady they can actually be. It makes me appreciate my husband so much more after hearing what my friends are going thru.
Reading this makes me really thankful for my husband who was in the army for 6 years and was in Iraq/Germany during my pregnancy with my daughter he use to tell me stories of guys that did that to their wife's or just weren't faithful and didn't tell their spouse and then he would tell me stories of many of their wife's doing that to them while they were stationed in Germany or deployed to Iraq. I guess it goes both ways a lot of the time. I'm sorry this happened to your friend.
I think it's terrible also and of course, many men/women cheat, whether they are in the military or not. Honestly, this is why I never wanted to be with anyone that had a job where they have to travel often. I know that doesn't have to happen to have them cheat, but I figure if my husband has to see my face every day, there is less of a chance.
And what a double standard too. If the person back home cheats on the person in the military, it is looked down upon so much because he/she is off fighting for their country, but yet it happens the other way around all the time.
I feel for all of your friends. I would be so hurt and devastated if my husband ever did this to me, but especially while I am carrying his child!!!
And what a double standard too. If the person back home cheats on the person in the military, it is looked down upon so much because he/she is off fighting for their country, but yet it happens the other way around all the time.
I feel for all of your friends. I would be so hurt and devastated if my husband ever did this to me, but especially while I am carrying his child!!!
@ HaYnSweetie
Yeah she plans to go down to the base and see if she can get him some kind of counseling and inform them of what he has been up to. I offered to go with her but she wants to do it by herself. If she even does it at all. She really wants it to still work out but I say she's better off without him. Apparently he was down here last weekend and brought his girlfriend up to meet his parents. How horrible. I honestly don't even know what to think about the whole anymore.
@penswriter
No one was saying that everyone in the army/marines/air force/navy/etc was like that but that because they are separated from their families some of them can be. When most people cheat and aren't traveling all over the place and they usually don't have separate lives. I'm just annoyed that because these men are gone from their homes that some of them take advantage of the situation and think "hey I've got a sweeter deal here where I'm bases with so and so. F*ck my wife/girlfriend/baby momma or whatever im going to take advantage of this!"
Yeah she plans to go down to the base and see if she can get him some kind of counseling and inform them of what he has been up to. I offered to go with her but she wants to do it by herself. If she even does it at all. She really wants it to still work out but I say she's better off without him. Apparently he was down here last weekend and brought his girlfriend up to meet his parents. How horrible. I honestly don't even know what to think about the whole anymore.
@penswriter
No one was saying that everyone in the army/marines/air force/navy/etc was like that but that because they are separated from their families some of them can be. When most people cheat and aren't traveling all over the place and they usually don't have separate lives. I'm just annoyed that because these men are gone from their homes that some of them take advantage of the situation and think "hey I've got a sweeter deal here where I'm bases with so and so. F*ck my wife/girlfriend/baby momma or whatever im going to take advantage of this!"
I'm married to a Marine. A lot of my friends are in the military (male and female). Not all of them are like that.
Of all the military men and women I know only 2 have acted like that and they are both paying out the wazoo for their children and alimony.
My husband has never cheated on me and there just as many civilian men who cheat on their spouses. In fact I know more non-military men and women who cheat than those who are in.
Of all the military men and women I know only 2 have acted like that and they are both paying out the wazoo for their children and alimony.
My husband has never cheated on me and there just as many civilian men who cheat on their spouses. In fact I know more non-military men and women who cheat than those who are in.
Thank you ladies. Both of my friends have a great support system, but its still hard. I know when i was pregnant and my husband and i would argue, even if he would leave to cool off id cry, cause no matter how mad i was at him i still wanted him around me LOL! Apparently my friend whos husband cheated 3 times is back with him. Ive been seeing him leave "i love you comments" on her facebook page, so i asked her about it and she said yeah theyve been trying to sort thru their problems. Hopefully that works out.
My friend who got dumped thru facebook, is still having a rough time. Still crying and still hoping he will call her. I told her to call his command and talk to someone, but she said "i dont want him to be angry with me and then hes really not going to come around." It must be difficult to deal with. She'll come to her senses tho eventually, but right now shes holding on to any little hope she can.
@Alaysha: OMG that is horrible! Men like that really p*ss me off! I hope she calls his command and has him de-ranked! She can also tell them that he cleaned their account out and left her with no money. Usually the military is pretty good at helping out the families who are done wrong by a-holes like that! My dad never wanted me to get with a military guy, but for some reason i only dated military guys. ive been scr*wed over a couple times and swore id never date another military guy again! I ended up marrying an Airman lol. But i got a good one (:
i really hope your friend gets the b*stard!
My friend who got dumped thru facebook, is still having a rough time. Still crying and still hoping he will call her. I told her to call his command and talk to someone, but she said "i dont want him to be angry with me and then hes really not going to come around." It must be difficult to deal with. She'll come to her senses tho eventually, but right now shes holding on to any little hope she can.
@Alaysha: OMG that is horrible! Men like that really p*ss me off! I hope she calls his command and has him de-ranked! She can also tell them that he cleaned their account out and left her with no money. Usually the military is pretty good at helping out the families who are done wrong by a-holes like that! My dad never wanted me to get with a military guy, but for some reason i only dated military guys. ive been scr*wed over a couple times and swore id never date another military guy again! I ended up marrying an Airman lol. But i got a good one (:
i really hope your friend gets the b*stard!
My friend's husband just basically did the same thing to her. He is in the military and stationed in Washington and she is here in Arizona. He came into Arizona for training 3 weeks ago at a base 2 hours away and didn't come to see her. Not only did he not come to see her but he deleted her off his facebook, changed his status and told her he wanted a divorce. A few days before it had been "oh baby oh honey I miss you so much" and then all of a sudden it changes. She is supposed to move up to Washington to be with him in August with their son and then she finds of via facebook that he is in a new relationship. She messaged the girl and the girlfriend said that he never said anything about having a wife, not even as possibly having a girlfriend and most definitely not about having a child. He took all their tax money and bought a new car and then spent hundreds a night taking his new girlfriend out on dates. My friend is devastated. I'm really annoyed to see that it is actually common of military men.
I hate hearing stuff like this, but sadly it does happen quite often with military men as LosingMyMindInGA said. I have a number of friends and family members in the military and have heard a quite a few stories like this. I remember when my grandpa was alive he was always telling me to not date anyone in the military because many guys act this way. I would definitely try to contact the command officer to report what he's done and see if they'll do something about it. Hopefully your friends have a good network of social support to help them through all of this. I can't even imagine.
Ughh that makes me mad what the heck do men think , that they can make babys and not pull thru with taking care of them . I am thankful for having my husband by my side. But there's just so many women who have to do this alone and for those women who do that I qive a lot of respect to . Tell your friend she's in my prayers and to stay strong. At least she has a friend like you :)
Unfortunately there a LOT Of military men like that. What she needs to do is contact is Command Officer and let him know that this guy is blowing off his responsibilities to his child. At the VERY least the military is usually really good about making guys man up and contribute financially to their children.
That is aweful! I spent some time in the Navy and saw all kinds of shady things go on with these guys and it is sickening. The military doesn't put up with men who don's support their children so at least they will get the financial help however, I know that doesn't change the hurt that has already happened. I feel for them, it is really a terrible thing that these guys have done. Definitely makes me happy I don't have a hubby like that!
That is just terrible. I mean....FB? Really? I find that is the most immature way to tell anyone anything, but especially breaking up?? wow. I feel so sorry for your friends and it definitely makes me very thankful for my hubby. I don't know how he puts up with me when I'm pregnant, but he somehow always survives. With being on bedrest and not being able to do much of anything....My hubby puts up with a lot, but is still my best friend! I can't imagine having to try to raise kids on my own and I hope your friends have a huge support system to lean on and people that will help them through all of this. So sad.
Oh wow, that is horrible! Makes me give thanks for my husband, too - even if I complain about him (especially when it comes to doing chores) - he'd never do something like that!! Well, hopefully both of your friends have a good support system of family and friends to help them out. That is just awful. :-(
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