OT I hate men

[alaysha]

So... my boyfriend is an idiot. Yesterday I set Aspen down next to him on the couch and asked him to watch her for 5 minutes while I put more water in her humidifier. I'm only out of the room for a couple minutes when I hear Aspen scream at the top of her lungs and then my boyfriend is like "Malia come quick she fell off the couch". Apparently he didn't realize when I said watch her that I actually meant it.

I took her down to the Phoenix Children's Hospital's Urgent Care so that they could check her out and make sure everything was okay. She appeared fine so she got released but they told me if she starts acting weird, throwing up, gets drainage from her ears or nose to come back in right away.

So I go home and she seems fine if maybe a little tired. I felt like she would be okay and since I had plans for the last month to go out with my girl friends for a girls night out I left her with her dad. So I put Aspen in her crib to play with her toys and went out to the living room to place the baby monitor down and advised Zach that she would probably get bored within 10 minutes and want to be held and that he was not to let her cry because she is still too young.  

After driving a half and hour to my friends house I tried calling him and he didn't answer and I got a weird feeling so I ended up turning around to go home. When I got home (after being gone an hour) from outside I could hear Aspen screaming at the top of her lungs. So I run up the stairs open the door and Zach is in the same position on the couch as when I left only he's asleep! The baby monitor was working fine so I can't believe he didn't wake up. I go in to Aspen's room and comfort her (she also had a dirty diaper) and was SO glad that I had come home because if I hadn't I'm sure she would of been crying and alone for hours.

Anyways then about an hour later she starts throwing up (11 times in an hour and a half) and acting really lethargic so I took her back to the hospital where they gave her a cat scan (after being there for 5 hours) and determined that she has a little bit of a concussion from her fall.

So I'm watching her closely today (although she seems to feel better) and am just really upset with her father. He's watched her before and there were no problems but now I feel like I can NEVER leave her alone with him. All trust gone just like that.

[daisymomlove]

I completely understand why you would be very upset.  My bf is a good father and I know he loves his daughter too.  He does little things though.  My daughter is a year and a half so you have to be right on top of them.  He gets a little distracted and she might get into the ashtray or something.  But nothing that serious.  Accidents do happen that's understandable, maybe aspen fell quick and he wasn't quick enough to catch her.  I dunno only he does.  But I do know one thing that my bf and even me I would have stayed by her side.  Yeah you deserve the break you're probably with her alot more go have a little fun.  But I know that my bf would have felt so worried hearing the doctor say that and he would have felt so bad and guilty.  I would have came home with her on his chest and him still awake rubbing her back.  Some men just don't realize how serious it is when an infant falls on their head.  They can die from that and they dont' think of it being that serious.  Maybe this will make him wake up and pay wayyyy more attention and watch wayyyy more closely.  I deffinately would have a big talk with him and tell him that he really has to shape up and be more caustious.  If it were me, but we are two different people, I would have that conversation and if something even similar happens like that again trust and believe I would be gone until he can shape up and show me and his child that he is more responsible.  My kids are more important than a man father or not.  If he doesn't show more improvement and doesn't show that he can step up and actually listen to what the demands of the baby's needs are in any situation I would leave him.  But people see it different and no one judges.  Hope Aspen if I spelled her name right, is getting better.  By the way did she stay in the hospital?  Is she ok now?  What did they do for her?  Just keep your head up and see if he took this as a lesson.

[alaysha]

Lol I know it makes you think sometimes that nice men are a dying breed... but I guess they are.

[Riot_Queen]

OMG!
I just got done b*tching to someone else's post about a irresponsible dad.

What is WRONG with these guys?!
There's such thing as responsabilty and effort!

Y'know what, I'm not even gunna get into because I'm still p*ssed off about the last post, and this is just egging it on.

Tell your man to get off his LAZY A$$ and HELP YOU.
Take some F*CKING RESPONSABILITY!!
Jesus!

UGH I HATE MEN SOMETIMES!!!
If my Josh ever pulled some sh*t like that so help me God I'd be tearing some A$$ UP!!!!

GRRRR

[Gina209]

Well it Paid off girl! :) Kudos to you!

[alaysha]

Lol thank you!!! Trust me its taken a LOT of working out! :)

[Gina209]

OMG your poor little Angel! Good thing she has a wonderful mommy who sensed something was wrong. I think Moms have great intuition when it comes to their children. I hope she starts feeling better!!

BTW I meant to tell you, you look FABULOUS for just having a baby. You GO GIRL!

[alaysha]

Yep that is going to be me. Next time I leave her alone with him I'm going to be calling every couple of minutes!!! Haha

[adawning4]

I completely understand! My DH has done that! I was at work and it was about 11:30pm and he had both of my kids a 2yr old and a 4month old. well the 4mth old was asleep in the bouncy chair with a bottle propped up in his mouth and my 2yr old was fastened into her car seat crying and hysterical cause she could not get herself out! I kept calling and no answer i was banging on the door and I could see him through the window asleep on the couch! when he jumped up after i hit him with my purse he was like what what!?  I dont know how guys can do it! But a wk later I quit my job and have been SHAM every since! I leave my kids only during the day! when he is less likely to fall asleep! TALK  to him be stern and serious that he needs to help you and when he is left alone he NEEDS to watch the baby NOT sleep! Good Luck to you! My son will be 2 June 13th and I still dont "trust" my DH with my babies! I call probably every 20/30 minutes!

[JoyRenee]

Good thing you listened to that inner voice telling you to get home!!! Something probably would've happened. And I totally understand why your trust is gone. Mine would be gone too. No doubt about it! It would be completely and utterly gone.

It's hard for me to leave my girls with people I DO trust, let alone someone (even their father) who could do something like that.

Poor baby! I hope she's doing better today!

shasy03, I was like that too... and now ALMOST anyone who wants to hold my kids, I pass them off without thought (they have to stay in my sight and be adults, obviously, but I've cooled off a lot!). She's just being protective momma. Ha! There are certain people that I would fall over dead FIRST before having them hold my kids, but for the most part I happily hand them over so I don't have to juggle them.

[shasy03]

i completely understand....I don't think I would be able too.

My SIL had her baby this morning and she said that no one could watch the baby...I have a degree in early childhood and I am not even allowed to watch him....I give it 3 months and she'll say okay you can watch him...it seems no one is good enough!  My other three SIL's are saying HEY YOU CAN HAVE THEM.....which day is best for you??  But this is K's 1st so i've heard it's like that!

[prayerful wife]

I know he loves her just as much as you do.  It's just something about men that make them not react as fast as a mother would.  Before he's ever left alone with her again you guys need to most definately have a talk about his role as a dad and as a parent as a whole.  When you leave him in charge of the baby he needs to know that he's not babysitting; he's parenting.  It's just as much as his responsibility to make sure she's safe as it is yours and he has to hold up his end of the bargain!  The guilt, I'm sure will make him change....if not you'll just have to put your foot up his a** 1 good time and he'll straighten up!

[alaysha]

Oh thank you! I would of bet money that he would watch her (since he's done it before) but yesterday was WAY to many instances at once.

[shasy03]

btw I love the name Aspen!!!  It's different!  

[shasy03]

awww honey I'm sure he does...men will be men.  I know not to leave a baby alone with DH while a tarheel game is on...but he would still give the baby attention...I don't know....I'm sure he cares though.

[alaysha]

Yeah I'm pretty frustrated. I mean I could hear her from all the way outside and he couldn't even hear her from the next room! I just feel like sometimes he really doesn't care about her. :(

[shasy03]

That would frustrate me to no end.  DH better not be like that with our kids...I might have to kill him....I would never kill him but It would almost happen.

[cntrygrlluvin]

What?? Noo, if my bf said he fell asleep like that then I could pushed him off and see how he liked it. Man, I would show him a thing or two but, then I'd have to say in court.."in my defense...." That would make me soo upset with him!..  How do you not hear a baby screaming to the top of their lungs? You would think being his child he'd listen out better.

[alaysha]

In his defense he fell asleep and didn't hear her cry. But why would you fall asleep when you knew she was going to be up?

[cntrygrlluvin]

You should have a long talk w/him. I mean it's not a toy that needs batteries. It's a BABY. HIS baby at that! I don't understand how anyone could just let a baby cry like that.

[alaysha]

I can still barely believe how irresponsible he is. God it just tugged my heart strings so bad when I heard her crying like that. Ugh.

[cntrygrlluvin]

How sad. He needs to be more responsible. Who does he think he is? It's his baby too and theres a such thing called effort.
I don't blame you at all.

Poor baby.