OT: My husband wont have sex with me

[BUTTERFLYCOTTON]

Its so annoying because I actually quit breastfeeding to try and conceive again (which i quit liked) and my DH knew that I was a bit sad about it. He and I both agreed that we wanted to try for another baby so after my first period I got all geared up and started BBT, cervical mucus..everything.. I didnt fall pregnant and when I told him he didnt seem worried. So now I'm on day 13 of my cycle and he seen my chart on fertility friend and saw that I was in the highly fertile stage of my cycle and now he wont come near me. He says hes not interested.. I try everything..but he says hes tired from work because hes working late hours now. I dont understand..one minute he was all reved up to go and then he gets cold feet. If I try to talk to him..apparently I'm putting on the nagging voice and says he is not going to have sex because I ask him to. I have had sex once in a whole month and only because I begged him..which seems ridiculous. I feel like my fertile days are dwindling away!!! EEERRRRR!

[Mumita]

Could you imagine if it was the other way around?  That the Men needed to have sex with us on certain days when THey are fertile and we are ready to go any time?  I would be annoyed...
I think men and women are very much the same, not all men want sex ALL the time same as us.

[bryanarae]

Glad to hear you guys talked it out. Sometimes its just easier to get things out in the open. Communication is key! I wish you much luck in concieving!

[BUTTERFLYCOTTON]

Thanks!! I had a 'talk' to him about it last night and said i wasnt happy with the way things were going and he said he was sorry, that he worked 70 hours that week at work and was just stressed out and then to come home to relax and have me blabbering on about how i could have missed precious fertile days and making him feel pressured into making me pregnant (he does want another bub) but he felt like if he didnt get me pregnant I would be upset and let down. So all this just made him want to be left alone - with his Xbox I beleive..where no-one could hassle him and he could be in his element. lol. ..oh funny though he actually asked me if Sunday was a 'fertile day' because he wanted to hang out with mates and watch footy so he wouldnt be home..which I said was fine..:)

[bryanarae]

If I were a guy and forced to perform it would be hard I'd think. I don't doubt your hubby wants to try for another baby, but maybe in a more fun, when it happens it happens kind of way. Instead of having a one track mind: I'm ovulating, very fertile, must have sex!, try just having sex whenever you feel like it rather than making it a chore, especially for him. I can understand your being upset, especially when you quit breastfeeding to become pregnant, but some times men need some time too. Pressure and stress are never good for anyone! Be patient and try just having fun! Good luck tho!

[cmoretti]

I agree. I would stop charting w FF so he has no idea when you are fertile. this way you can seduce him and make it about love and not a baby. Personally, I think it is so wrong for men to do this because they will be the first to expect sex when we don't feel like it! They don't care if we feel like it is a chore

[Mumita]

To men having sex because you are "ovulating" and you want to conceive is like a chore, men don't like that.  They rather leave it to chance and have sex when the mood arises not when you are necessarily ovulating.

[Anya1984]

What I found frustrating for men is the fact that they HAVE TO have sex with you and all you care is not sex but the baby.....this way, what I did was forget about the whole baby talk and just being nice with him. Give him time and don't bring the subject of a baby...sooner, he will like your sensation and will have sex with you but be pationate about it! Let him forget about the baby and enjoy sex and intimacy! After a while, when you are fertile, don't let him know that...he should not know these things otherwise he will not be interested! That's what I got from my hubby when we tried for ababy. Every time it was a baby dance, he hated it....when I didn't mention the baby thing and was nice to him and all, he loved it.

[smjmekg]

I know how you feel, DH was the same way...I told him I wanted to try for sex every other day after AF ends on the 29th. He just said "maybe". I asked him if he said maybe as in maybe I want to have another baby now or maybe we can have sex every other day. He just said he feels the same as last month about me getting pregnant again. "he's ready when I'm ready". Men are so darn frustrating.