Aa
OT am I being too drastic?
hey girls.. bad news.. I think my fiance and I are over. What started it was last week his sister and her boyfriend flew here from California (across the country!!) to visit us for a couple days. Well my fiance (cayce) had to work 6 am - 2pm one of those days and well 2 o'clock came and went. He didnt call me until 3:30pm saying that he was visiting an ex-girlfriend and lost track of time. And he took my car to work.. so the whole day I was sitting at the house with HIS family and our 2 month old while he had my car (carseat too) and was visiting an ex-girlfriend who he admitted having old feelings for. He didnt even call me to let me know what was going on until he was on his way back an hour and a half later. I just can't get over how disrespectful that was!!
And he never gives me a break. I never have any time for myself. All I want is maybe one hour out of the day where I don't have a baby monitor or have to be care for Draeven. I dont think that's asking very much. I have to fight and argue to have him "watch" Draeven so I can have a few moments for myself.
I probably wont leave him but I'm not going to be lovy-dovy either. I feel like just letting him have a girlfriend.. anything that will make it so we're not fighting all the time. My milk production has slowed down from the stress..
And he never gives me a break. I never have any time for myself. All I want is maybe one hour out of the day where I don't have a baby monitor or have to be care for Draeven. I dont think that's asking very much. I have to fight and argue to have him "watch" Draeven so I can have a few moments for myself.
I probably wont leave him but I'm not going to be lovy-dovy either. I feel like just letting him have a girlfriend.. anything that will make it so we're not fighting all the time. My milk production has slowed down from the stress..
Are you serious? You should see a therapist for self esteem issues.. That's just WRONG!!! Not to mention wreckless.. If your "man" has multiple women pregnant, there is CLEARLY a lack of protection and clearly a lack of respect as he could be passing around STD's. That's disgusting..
Wild.blue - I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. I think the ladies above (NOT sweetcandy!) but everyone else has the right idea about some sort of seperation. You don't need the stress of wondering all of the time, and your bf should be looking to YOU for support. I have been through all kinds of bad things in relationships so if you want to talk/vent, please PM me.
((Hugs))
Wild.blue - I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. I think the ladies above (NOT sweetcandy!) but everyone else has the right idea about some sort of seperation. You don't need the stress of wondering all of the time, and your bf should be looking to YOU for support. I have been through all kinds of bad things in relationships so if you want to talk/vent, please PM me.
((Hugs))
I WOULD KEEP HIM AROUND HE IS THE DADDY OF YALL'S BABY. WORK IT OUT IF HE HAS A GIRL ON THE SIDE IT MIGHT BETTER YALLS REALATIONSHIP SOME. MY GUY HAS 2 OTHER GIRLS PLUS ME ONE OF THEM IS ALSO PREGNANT ONE MONTH BEHIND ME SOO THAT MEANS MY BABY IS GONNA HAVE A BABY AROUND THE SAME AGE AS OURS. FRUM MY EXPERIANCE'S WE HAVE GOOD BEETER SEX CUZ HES GOT HIM OTHER WOMAN TO FOOL AROUND WITH
he just needs to man up and grow up. My husband went thru all his immature **** over the last couple years and FINALLY manned up when I got pregnant with our little man. He still gets immature, but NOTHING like it was. And we are only 21, I have to tell you tho, he put me thru ALOT in this marriage... and I don't think I'd ever accept any more ****. He knows if he ever did anything again to break my heart or make me lose my trust in him I'd leave him... I wouldn't divorce him but I'd leave him and let HIM file. (I'm a christian and no, don't necessarily believe in divorce, however I won't be made a fool of more than once or twice. ) and twice is PUSHING it.
My heart goes out to you, I know it stinks! I will say this, my kids were 7yrs, and 6mos. when their daddy and I split, my 7yr old was devastated it took him a long time to heal, and trust again, my 6 month old on the other hand, was fine, he never missed a beat. Still now they are 14, and almost 9 and my oldest still is more emotional over it, my youngest really could care less, I guess what I'm saying is if you don't think it will work out, prolonging it for the baby will only make it worse, I wish you the best dear.
i wonder if he is having a mid life crisis...sorta midlife anyway. but he might be overwhelmed with being a dad and might be scared to be a husband and is going back to his ex for support. but that is not healthy! he should turn to you if he has problems or fears, not another woman, especially an ex!
i agree with the ladies, you should at least take a break from him. he should want to be with his son! and he should want to give you some time to relax. personally i would walk away but being in the situation is always harder than you think.
you should confront him about your concerns. ask him what he wants out of things. ask him if he'd go to counselling with you if you think there is a chance. thats an option for you. : )
i'm sorry he is being such an @ss about things. if he can't give up his ex and try to spend more time with you guys then i would find a man who will treat you like the princess you are! you deserve to be happy.
hope things work out for you! all the best!
i agree with the ladies, you should at least take a break from him. he should want to be with his son! and he should want to give you some time to relax. personally i would walk away but being in the situation is always harder than you think.
you should confront him about your concerns. ask him what he wants out of things. ask him if he'd go to counselling with you if you think there is a chance. thats an option for you. : )
i'm sorry he is being such an @ss about things. if he can't give up his ex and try to spend more time with you guys then i would find a man who will treat you like the princess you are! you deserve to be happy.
hope things work out for you! all the best!
Everyone already said it for me. It is really disrespectable that he did that. The trust is gone now, i don't think it'll do either of you any good if you stay together like this. I hope it all works out for ya hun. We're all here for you. Hugs and kisses. xxx
I'm sorry, your boyfriend is a JERK. you seriously aught to kick him out for a couple weeks. You should NEVER have to fight with the father of your child to get him to watch the baby. my hubby does argue sometimes but he still gets up in the middle of the night and feeds him for me (we switch).... I think that it was inexcusable! you need to sit him down and talk to him seriously. If I were you I'd tell him to put a stop to any visits with exgirlfriends because I'm telling you, it's going to be more than "Visits"....
That is very sad and disrespectful that he did that. ALSO, he didnt have to tell you that he went over there but he did, and he also told you about having old feelings for her. Im not trying to be on his side, but relationships and marriages take work. I have not met no one thus far who says there relationship is so perfect. Now i would sit down and talk to him about his actions and how it made you feel, i would also discuss with him his role as a father. I beleive respect should be given to every one. Now if being friends with this girl is more important than making his relationship work, TRULY he is not ready to committe and has his priorities wrong.
My son is 13, and me and his father dated for about 4 years, high school and about my first year of college. We broke up when i was 5 months preggo,(i didnt want to b in the relationship and he was no good anyways). He is very active in my sons life and my parents like him, well ive been dating someone for 2 years now and we are engaged, and i do my best not to make him feel uncomfortable when it comes to my sons father. I have no intentions of ever wanting to get back with him, but i dont want to do anything that would make my fiance think otherwise. When we hooked up, and the relationship got serious, i dropped every guy known to my phone book off my line including ex's. Because they did not matter, what do i need them for. There are some people who dont mind there mate still chating with there ex's because they feel very secure in what they have. My parents is a prime example, and they swear up and down ONCE they got MARRIED they were monogomous with each other(so they say) and they are still 2gether 28 years later. I dont no, i think ex girl/boy-friends are like emergency penis's and vagina's in a glass waiting to be broken, thats just me. And ive been a guys friend who had a girlfriend and i no what type of things can happen.
Without trust and respect, a relationship will take a toll on you. Im sorry you are going threw this and it s-ucks. But i would have a real talk with him, because believe me, worrying about what he is doing is just going to add stress to the relationship.
Also, i no a lot of people who have been married for years, and have a man/woman on the side. Who am i to say that is wrong, who am i to judge.(for there is only one person who will judge us when our time come, and thats GOD) so do what makes you feel happy, whats in the best interest of the baby and stress free.
My son is 13, and me and his father dated for about 4 years, high school and about my first year of college. We broke up when i was 5 months preggo,(i didnt want to b in the relationship and he was no good anyways). He is very active in my sons life and my parents like him, well ive been dating someone for 2 years now and we are engaged, and i do my best not to make him feel uncomfortable when it comes to my sons father. I have no intentions of ever wanting to get back with him, but i dont want to do anything that would make my fiance think otherwise. When we hooked up, and the relationship got serious, i dropped every guy known to my phone book off my line including ex's. Because they did not matter, what do i need them for. There are some people who dont mind there mate still chating with there ex's because they feel very secure in what they have. My parents is a prime example, and they swear up and down ONCE they got MARRIED they were monogomous with each other(so they say) and they are still 2gether 28 years later. I dont no, i think ex girl/boy-friends are like emergency penis's and vagina's in a glass waiting to be broken, thats just me. And ive been a guys friend who had a girlfriend and i no what type of things can happen.
Without trust and respect, a relationship will take a toll on you. Im sorry you are going threw this and it s-ucks. But i would have a real talk with him, because believe me, worrying about what he is doing is just going to add stress to the relationship.
Also, i no a lot of people who have been married for years, and have a man/woman on the side. Who am i to say that is wrong, who am i to judge.(for there is only one person who will judge us when our time come, and thats GOD) so do what makes you feel happy, whats in the best interest of the baby and stress free.
If there is no romance and you are fighting for something that doesn't exist you should leave.. There is no use in putting yourself through hell so that Draeven will have a mommy and a daddy, because a mommy and a daddy that don't love eachother are about as good as a water pail with a hole in it.
My advice, having been through all the same **** with Travis, leave for awhile.. If he loves you and really wants to be with you he will find a way to make it happen. If not, try to move on. Draeven can still have mommy and daddy, you just wont be together. It will probably be really hard for awhile but eventually it will get easier, and there isn't anything saying he wont come back to you either. but I think that you need to put your foot down in some way and let him know that its you and the baby or him and this girl.. Tell him you dont feel comfortable with him around her and talking to her.. If he doesn't stop I would take that as a red flag. Any man who holds a relationship with a "Friend" over his own family has some serious problems and that means he is probably lying to you about their "relationship"
Im really sorry that you're going through this. I hope that he shapes up, Travis and I have been through stuff like this so many times.. He is JUST NOW starting to realize wha he needs to do and how he needs to act (and we have been together for almost 3 1/2 years on and off.) It's hard when you're young and you don't really know what you want.. Good luck and if you need someone to talk to Im here to listen :D *hugs*
My advice, having been through all the same **** with Travis, leave for awhile.. If he loves you and really wants to be with you he will find a way to make it happen. If not, try to move on. Draeven can still have mommy and daddy, you just wont be together. It will probably be really hard for awhile but eventually it will get easier, and there isn't anything saying he wont come back to you either. but I think that you need to put your foot down in some way and let him know that its you and the baby or him and this girl.. Tell him you dont feel comfortable with him around her and talking to her.. If he doesn't stop I would take that as a red flag. Any man who holds a relationship with a "Friend" over his own family has some serious problems and that means he is probably lying to you about their "relationship"
Im really sorry that you're going through this. I hope that he shapes up, Travis and I have been through stuff like this so many times.. He is JUST NOW starting to realize wha he needs to do and how he needs to act (and we have been together for almost 3 1/2 years on and off.) It's hard when you're young and you don't really know what you want.. Good luck and if you need someone to talk to Im here to listen :D *hugs*
oh yes he did!
It broke my heart when he said he still had "old feelings" for her and left me like he did. The girl wasn't really his ex. They wanted to be together but couldn't because she was 16 or 17 and her parents wouldn't let her hang out with a 25 year old. but they talked alot and were very close. Now he is 28 and she is 19... and he says he just wants her as a friend and wants me to meet her! I dont want to meet her.
I sent her an email telling her to leave us alone. I said if she really cares about him, she wont mess things up with his family. And I said if I thought they were "just friends" I wouldn't be upset. but thats not the case, she has feelings for him.
I dont know girls... I'm just so over it. I'm sick of hiding from Draeven so he doesn't hear us argue. I dont want to worry about what he's doing if he doesnt come RIGHT home after work. I feel like we're fighting for something that doesnt even exsist anymore.. there's no romance
It broke my heart when he said he still had "old feelings" for her and left me like he did. The girl wasn't really his ex. They wanted to be together but couldn't because she was 16 or 17 and her parents wouldn't let her hang out with a 25 year old. but they talked alot and were very close. Now he is 28 and she is 19... and he says he just wants her as a friend and wants me to meet her! I dont want to meet her.
I sent her an email telling her to leave us alone. I said if she really cares about him, she wont mess things up with his family. And I said if I thought they were "just friends" I wouldn't be upset. but thats not the case, she has feelings for him.
I dont know girls... I'm just so over it. I'm sick of hiding from Draeven so he doesn't hear us argue. I dont want to worry about what he's doing if he doesnt come RIGHT home after work. I feel like we're fighting for something that doesnt even exsist anymore.. there's no romance
oh no he didn't!!!!
I would totally call it quits. There is no way to tell what he did with his old gf. I wouldn't believe someone that inconsiderate.
Have you talked about your needs with him before? If not, maybe that is a start for working on your relationship if you want to stay with him. If so, I don't know what to tell you hun! :(
what a cr^ppy situation.
I would totally call it quits. There is no way to tell what he did with his old gf. I wouldn't believe someone that inconsiderate.
Have you talked about your needs with him before? If not, maybe that is a start for working on your relationship if you want to stay with him. If so, I don't know what to tell you hun! :(
what a cr^ppy situation.
My honest opinion....Your not being drastic enough lol. I would have put the fear of god into my man if he EVER went to visit an ex. There is no need for a man who has a family to visit, call, write, or email an ex. They are ex's for a reason. He should have made closure with her before engaging in another relationship, and having a baby.
Id def. think about leaving. That is totally crossing the line in my opinion. What if he is having sexual relations with this woman, and you...and he gives you something, like an STD. You have no idea where this woman has been.
As far as him not wanting to share his duties with his girlfriend/wife in the care of his child is completely uncalled for. Id give him an ultamatum, I really would. Straighten up or get out. I would be p!ssed beyond belief.
I understand you love this man, and that you just had a baby, but I would not tolerate his actions at all.
And to keep from fighting about getting your hour to yourself, hand him the baby without saying anything, and go lock yourself up in the bathroom or bedroom and get your hour that you deserve.
I just don't see how you can stand being in the same house with this man after what he did. I love my husband more than anything in this world, and would give my life for him. But if he ever crossed the line that your man crossed.....it would be over.
Id def. think about leaving. That is totally crossing the line in my opinion. What if he is having sexual relations with this woman, and you...and he gives you something, like an STD. You have no idea where this woman has been.
As far as him not wanting to share his duties with his girlfriend/wife in the care of his child is completely uncalled for. Id give him an ultamatum, I really would. Straighten up or get out. I would be p!ssed beyond belief.
I understand you love this man, and that you just had a baby, but I would not tolerate his actions at all.
And to keep from fighting about getting your hour to yourself, hand him the baby without saying anything, and go lock yourself up in the bathroom or bedroom and get your hour that you deserve.
I just don't see how you can stand being in the same house with this man after what he did. I love my husband more than anything in this world, and would give my life for him. But if he ever crossed the line that your man crossed.....it would be over.
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