OT~Sex ED in middle school/high school

I heard on the radio yesterday that some schools are considering sex ed classes in middle schools and high schools that include showing how to put on condoms. I'm curious what everyone's opinions are. When I was in 9th or 10th grade we had a "health" class that showed what happened between sperm and egg, and basically went through puberty, a co-ed class. I personally don't believe anyone should be shown how to put on a condom, the packages have detailed instructions, which include pictures. (Correct me if any brand doesn't.) It's my belief that beyond sperm/egg make baby, that parents should be held responsibly for teaching their children about sex and what happens, etc. I asked my sister about this, and she said "no they should teach them how to read instructions and show pics of STDs." Which I happen to agree with as well, lol. I would think it would make them think twice about sex...

Return to Poll

57%

 (11) 

YES to both middle and high school classes

5%

 (1) 

NO to both middle and high school classes

15%

 (3) 

HIGH SCHOOL only

21%

 (4) 

OTHER (please explain)

19 Members voted

[Ashelen]

Mine is "other" because the way my school did it, I found to be effective...they introduced the idea of sex and protection in middle school, but in basic terms, and sent home information to parents about what kids should be aware of at this age as far as sexual activity and protecting themselves...and in high school we had a very no-nonsense class that addressed STD's, pregnancy, risks, etc....it was very inclusive but not crude, and again they sent home info to the parents about what topics should be discussed at home...condom application was one of the "homework" topics. I can't say whether all parents did it or not, but we haven't had any teen pregnancies at my school in the last 15 years.

[Ashelen]

Sorry one of my classmates says we haven't had a teen pregnancy in 30 years but I can't confirm

[bby55]

When I was in middle school, 7th and 8th graders were seperated into a girls class and a boys class and shown pictures of what STDS look like along with just a general "how babies are made" speech. I dont think showing us how to put a condom on after that would have been necessary!

[angelbabies]

i would think they would have to be carful how they did it as to make sure not to offend any one. im from uk and i was about 12 when my school started sex ed but we did about 4 classed though my whole school experience, most of what i learnt was from the 'sex talk' with my mum. but there where girls with immature attitudes to sex and my the time i was 14 there where 4 girls in my year that where pregnant in my school. i would like to think i can educate my daughter when she comes of that age to keep her safe and understanding of sexual relationships. I do think it will benefit children to know there things because there seams to be alot of adults who dont know how to put a condom on lol

[NicMom]

I have a 13 year old who is in middle school this year and I voted yes. I'm shocked to hear how young some people start having sex and I would rather my child knows the proper way to put on a condom (probably taught using a banana or something) than not. Being on medhelp really affirms my thoughts on this because you see so many questions from kids in high school and beyond that seem like common sense, but they have no clue.

I think parents need to talk to their kids, but I know I didn't really listen to anything my mom had to say. Most of what I learned about sex was at school.

[tiredbuthappy]

They're going to learn about sex in school. If not from the school, then from their peers. Which is less scary?

Parents *should* teach their kids these things, but they don't.
When introduced into the curriculum, I am sure that parents have the option of opting out.

[NicoleW09]

I have mixed feelings, I guess.

I had sex ed in middle school, but not high school In high school it was more like we just had sperm meets egg, etc.

I want my daughter to be protected, and I believe that teen pregnancy prevention begins at home. It's the mother and father's responsibility to teach their children about abstinance or using protection. I don't want my daughter having sex in middle/high school, but I have to be realistic. I knew a lot of girls that were sexually active in HS, I wasn't, but I was in the minority.

I want to have an open relationship with Lexi and any other children DH and I may have, and if she feels like she's ready to have sex, I want to be there for her and dissuade her, but I don't want to pull the wool over my eyes and blindly believe that my daughter will not have sex, when it's a possibility that she could. I guess I just want it to be open with her, I want her to feel like she can come to me, so that we can address the situation.

I don't want her to have birth control and think she can go out and have sex with whoever she wants, that's not acceptable to me, but I want to take the appropriate steps to ensure her safety and to ensure that she can remain a teenager for as long as possible. I believe being open and educating your child is how this is done. My mother believed that if I was old enough to ask, I was old enough to know, and I was put on birth control at 14, knowing that it wasn't permission for me to have sex, just to help regulate my cycles. I didn't become sexually active til I was 18.

[LosingMyMindInGA]

I voted "other".  MY take is that so many kids now are becoming sexually active in middle school - some even towards the end of elementary.  As we have witnessed on this forum numerous times, there are many teens who's parents do NOT discuss sex education with them and they are left ignorant to many things.  This is what gets them in trouble many times.  I do believe in sex ed classes, even in middle school, BUT -BIG BUT- I don't agree with the way the majority of schools are handling them.  Many schools, especially in more liberal parts of the country are throwing in lessons on homosexuality, etc.  I have nothing against gay people, I have many friends who are gay or bi, but I don't believe it should be "taught" in school.  I think the sex ed programs need some SERIOUS biblical overhaul.  It should be focused more on the reproductive cycles, the medical terminology and functions and prevention.  Rather than showing how to put on a condom they should stress the fact that condoms are NOT 100%, etc.  

Fortunately *I* am not one to mince words when it comes to subjects that many feel are taboo.  I tell my kids like it is.  I had "the talk" with my oldest when she was in SECOND grade because kids in her class were already talkinga bout sex.  She was also more mature than most her age and could comprehend what I said.  My 8 yo has not had the talk because she's not yet at a point where she can make sense of it.  I am introducing small things to her like the menstrual cycle, etc.  I have also never been one to use "pet names" for genitals - it is a penis and a vagina, they are BREASTS.  I have no qualms about using those words regardless of who is listening.  

It's sad that too many parents are too embarrassed to equip their kids with the proper knowledge. This leaves them to their own devices which usually entails second hand knowledge from well intentioned - but usually misinformed - friends.  

[smjmekg]

I think if they did start teaching how to put condoms on, first off they should need the permission of the parents for the whole student body or it shouldn't be allowed, just for the simple fact that who wants to be the kid that has to sit out because their parents said no first off, and second that child may learn an incorrect way to use one because their friends tell them the shortened version of the class.

I believe in teaching sex ed in schools, but there should be a limit to it. Teaching a kid how to put on a condom, might (unintentionally I'm sure) put it in there head that, OK this is how I do it...time to try.

[smjmekg]

I'd rather see what my sister said. I'd much rather have a class full of genital warts, and herpes than how to put on a condom, or to INCLUDE it in the same class...kids these days are completely oblivious to what can happen when they do have sex. It's not all fun and games. And I also believe that the class where you have a "baby" for however many days should be a mandatory part of this sex ed class as well if they do it, don't go half way give them the full perspective. Let them know that it doesn't matter how well you know someone, this is what you can get.

[NicoleW09]

It didn't sink in with some girls I went to HS with who had to carry around the baby. They would dress them up in the middle of class and play with them like baby dolls. I suppose some of them think that if they can handle a mechanical doll for a few days that they can handle a child. I don't think they really realize that it's going to alter their futures for the rest of their lives.

I know my 18 yo cousin planned a pregnancy with her bf, thinking they were ready. She doesn't have a GED or diploma, was working 20 hours a week and he wasnt working at all. They were lving with her dad and he was paying bills. He made them start paying and she couldnt figure out why he would make her pull her weight. It's suddenly dawned on her that parenting is hard work and that she didn't realize that her life would change so much and her boyfriends would basically stay the same because he isn't mature or responsible enough to step up to the plate and be a father.

For some, they're just too stubborn to understand that just because they love their boyfriend, doesn't mean that they're ready to have a baby yet.

[jschoch8]

I voted no to both because i think this is something that should be taught in the home, rather than school. also, if the students are christian, this is against their religion.

[AHP84]

I voted "Other" because I do not think it's necessary to teach kids how to utilize condoms and other forms of birth control, but I do think that learning about human anatomy, sexual reproduction, and consequences of sexual activity such as STDs and pregnacy, are absolutely necessary.
I think middle school students should get the basics--human anatomy and the purpose of the reproductive cycles, how everything functions and why it functions that way--basic information like that. Girls learn why they have a period each month and what it all means, boys learn why they may be waking up a few mornings or more a week from wet dreams, and babies are made because a sperm meets an egg.
High school should introduce what sexual activity is and the consequences it can carry. Female reproductive cycles should be DRILLED into these kids, especially what ovulation is and when it's likely to occur. Pictures of STDs and STIs should be shown and the symtoms (symptoms) explained in detail. Different types of birth control should be discussed--condoms, diaphragms, and sponges are barrier methods, foams/films and charting are non-hormonal methods, pills/patches/implants are usually hormonal methods, tubal ligations/vasectomies are physical methods, etc. There is no need to show kids how to put on a condom. Good grief. A condom is easy enough to figure out. All that needs to be addressed is what birth control is, how the different methods work, and how effective each method is.
When I was a Freshman in high school, we had a Health class that reviewed sexual education at the end of the semester. We spent the first three quarters learning about the risks and effects of smoking/chewing tobacco, alcohol, and drug use. The fourth quarter was reserved for sex ed. I learned a great deal from that class, as we were taught in detail about the female reproductive cycle, birth control, and STDs and STIs. We had to take notes and had plenty of illustrated handouts of human anatomy given to us for reference--I kept those notes and handouts until I was 18 years old to be sure I always had them for reference if my cycles were messed up or I wanted to be sexually active with my boyfriend I had at the time. I have no doubt I would have been pregnant before 17 if I'd never had that class.

[waitn838]

im a licensed middle school teacher and last semester i completed my student teaching and then substituted for the remainder of the school year.....i experienced both 7th and 8th grade students and it really opened my eyes to how much things have changed....

i know we dont want to admit this but kids in middle school are fully aware of sex (most of them).....i was shocked at the vulgarity of the conversations between some of the students....its obvious that some students are already dating and i recall from a parent teacher conf that a parent (father) told me that he knows his daughter has been having sex for the past 2 years.....2 years and this girl is 14!!!!

i think sex ed should be offered at both levels so that kids are aware of sex in its completeness.....peer pressure will never go away it will only continue to start sooner and soooners in our kids lives

[KitKat71688]

While I do believe that Sex Ed is important for children I do not believe the information needs to be coming from public schools. The parents need to be having these conversations with their children to inform them about protection and being safe. It's safer coming from the parents because then the girls can even go on birth control if needed. Parents need to be instilling their children with their morals and values about sex, not schools. I agree more with schools sticking with "sperm meets egg = baby" and STD's but not encouraging children to have sex by showing them how to put on condoms. All of these reasons are exactly why I will be home schooling my children. Of course they will still be interactive with other children but I just feel I need to be more of an influence in my own child's life than any teacher (no matter how great of a person/teacher that person is) or school. There truely is a different world out there now and kids learn too much too early and it's the parents responsibility to keep this from happening. AKA no Katy Perry/Lady Gaga/pop idol skanks that encourage "teenage dreams" and "pogo sticks". What kids see on TV these days is bad enough without schools butting in and showing them how to use condoms.

[jschoch8]

i completely agree. I entered 6th grade not even knowing what sex was and they showed us a video and i was like "WHAT!!". but then again i was like the only girl that didnt even shave her legs yet. 2 years later i was hearing stories about girls having sex. its quiet scary how sex is just everywhere, and no one encouraging kids to wait until marriage. how is anyone going to get through middle and high school with any respect for themselves to wait. i dont know.

[Heatherm4]

I think that it should definitely be taught in middle school. Many kids are having sex at much younger ages. I think they should move onto more sophisticated information for high schoolers. Many teenage girls and boys should be taught exactly how a womans cycle works and at what points fertilization can take place and all of that information. I wasn't too aware of anything that had to do with ovulation or anything like that until I was TTC and it seems that's the same fact for many women I come across on here!
If teens can get their facts straight and learn exactly how their bodies work, it may help with prevention as well!

[LovemyKids86]

I voted YES to both middle & high school but unfortunately, suprisingly there are elementary children here in my town that know what "sex education" is….

[hopefulmom17]

I say yes!!!! As a high school teacher in California I am constantly seeing 9th grade girls coming in pregnant. These kids need to be thought the reality and consequences of having unprotected sex. Not only can they end up pregnant but they can end up with an std that can kill them so I do believe to start early in jr high maybe even elementary schools should go over the basics I feel the more informed a child is the less is left up to curiosity that will get them in trouble.

[smjmekg]

Someone step in and correct me if I'm wrong, but I read that they actually had a school in Washington state that was letting ELEMENTARY students read a book that was very much so detailed in the act of sex, and how it feels good, etc, etc...My only question to that is...WHY??? WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE THEY SMOKING? It's hard enough for a child in elementary school to get a grip on death, let alone sex...yeah you can tell them this can lead to STDs, but at that age you can tell them gum will stick to their insides and they'll still swallow it. Elementary kids lack the maturity needed to handle such a subject IMO. Not to mention, how do we know that when they do discuss the female cycles, ovulation, menstruation, etc that they won't include the fact that it's NEVER completely safe in one's cycle. That TECHNICALLY, slim as it may be, there IS still the possibility of pregnancy. Here in NC there was a kindergarten class that got handed CONDOMS!!! I mean...we discourage smoking and drinking and say how bad it is, but then we turn around and give kids condoms? Yes kids are having sex at earlier ages now, but I really have to wonder how the 12, 13, 14....year olds are given the opportunity to be in a position with a girl/boy where they can do whatever they want and have sex. When I was younger, my first date by myself was at age 17. Before that we were allowed to double date at 16, and even then had a parent drop us off, and pick us up from a movie, skating rink, or wherever. We weren't given the opportunity to run off and do whatever. DH says he wants to allow our son to take girls on dates and drive his own car at 16 and I refuse to back down from not allowing it because, I for one don't wish to become a grandmother in my 30's. I had sex before I was married, for the first time when I was 18. BUT I only did because I was engaged to be married, and it was a big mistake because I later left the guy, and he told me the only reason he'd asked me to marry him was to get in my pants. That totally changed my perspective, and I started looking at sex as just like kissing, just something you do with someone you're with. I didn't just go out and have one night stands, but I did have sex with a couple other men before I met my husband and got married. If I had it all to do over I would have waited. I regret not waiting, because I wish my husband had that first. Kids these days aren't even thinking about it like that, they're not thinking it's something special to share with someone they love...they're just thinking hey lets have sex...

[waitn838]

this is such a tough topic because it all comes back to peer pressure....there always is that one student who lost their virginity super early or caught their parents doing it or something

as a parent i agree we should talk to our children and make sure they are aware of consequences and birth control options....however, i know in NC part of the required health class includes sex ed and parents must sign an agreement for their children to take the class....if the parents opts out of it the student will be placed in a general health class but then think of the kids and how embarrassing that is

as much as we dont want to hear this, times have changed and we as parents have to adapt to these changes....as i see it there is no such thing as too much education....i plan on talking to my children about what they learned in their sex ed classes and making sure they understand....i believe students will not choose absistence because to them its not the "cool thing" and the parents who think their daughter or son is staying abstient are the ones who will blindsided when their son or daughter is preg so early

i am not trying to challenge anybody but i am certain that once my daughter gets her period i will be talking about birth control options and stds....i just cant express how much these kids need to be educated about sex and consequences that just dont include preg

[Heatherm4]

I agree with waitn838. We have to adapt to the changes. Things are much different for kids now, we live a very sexualized world. As much as kids don't understand sex, it doesn't stop them from doing it and educating them isn't going to stop them either but it is going to stop some and help them become more responsible in doing it. Yes, they should know that pregnancy can happen at ANY time, so can STD's but if they knew more about their cycle and how conception actually works, that may help them as well.

School aged kids are very curious about sex, I know I was. I had a babysitter that kept one of those graphic books in her home. She didn't let us know it was there but kept it in a spot where we could access it and we would look at it. It didn't make us want to do anything sexual with each other but it helped answer some questions because my parents didn't talk to me about sex. I didn't get any sex or period talk until I was about 11 and it just left me with more questions and confusion when I got my first cycle.
I kind of wish my parents or someone told me about stuff like that when I was a lot younger because I was abused when I was young and didn't know what happened to me was wrong until I was older.

[KeyD]

I vote yes to both....Hopefully the more educated kids are the lesser the risk for STDs and teen pregnancy. It is foolish to think that kids will have sex because they are educated. The # of teen pregnancies is uncalled for.