Overwhelmed

[aly_e]

Not really a question I need to vent and could use some kind words. .14w4d... I'm over stressed. My job *****. 6 days a week. 8 hr shifts ob my feet waiting tables with no brakes. My husband hardly gets a pay check bc if child support. Were behind on rent. The transmission in the only car we have just went out this morning. Wer just replaced the radiator the starter and the alternator last month. Its december. My 3 yr old wants yo know why we dont have a tree. And my heart is broken bc I can't afford one present for my son. I've truely nevrr felt this awful in my life. I just dont know how I'm going to get thru this. I'm trying do hard to keep, mhy household together and in the process I'm coming unglued at the seams very quickly. And my lower abdomen is killing me. I know my baby feels my stresses.ihow do I keep it together?

[MamaBear0612]

You're doing the right thing. I teach sociology at a college and I have some young moms like you. One of the things that I teach them is first of all, the return for a four-year college degree is approximately $1 million more dollars that you'll earn over your lifetime because you get that degree. It will not only stabilize you in an economic sense, it means that your family life is likely to be happier and you as a person are likely to enjoy better mental and physical health, as will your children.  It will also change their educational outcomes; the strongest factor that determines that your children get a college education is that you as their parent gets one. So you're doing right for them, even if it means some tough times now. It'll pay off in big ways, so hang in there.

[aly_e]

Thats a great idea. He would love that. I love my son so much. I just want to give him my everything. I feel bad bc if I'm not at work I'm at school. the only thing that gets me through is knowing mhy education will pay offin the long run. I've just got to get thru this day and mhy husband is so childish he makes every situation worse. I love him I just wish he had common sense. Yall have helped me a great deal today I'm very grateful.

[breanna_d]

Aly_e, I feel the exact same way! 21 weeks & I am worried about the damage I may do, I did take advantage of a program where kids buy the adults in their life presents $.05-$1.00. My son was so proud to pick gifts, I may have to use a food bank too. I feel useless b/c I have been a single mom with no child support for 4 yrs & always been able to get by. When I met my bf last yr & we moved in together I thought things would be easier. He lost his job & we tried to open a wood furniture making business but we aren't able to keep up with bills & no one is buying furniture in this economy! My car is outta insurance, had to use xmas money to get my heat turned back on & we may end up having to leave our rent-to-own house b/c we r behind on payments. I really feel for u!

[MamaBear0612]

My mom used to have this book with paper mache and other homemade objects we made together...we loved those things, sometimes even more than our store-bought toys. And I used to work with babies and preschool age kids; their imagination is strong at that age so again, it's the simple, creative stuff you do together that they'll cherish and remember.

[Proudmommie2012]

@mamabear the paper tree is a great idea!!! It's so creative!! I love that

[MamaBear0612]

Yeah I hope things get better for you soon. I wonder if you can get your son to help you make a paper tree...as in a large drawing you guys can hang up? The great thing about kids that age is that they're happy with the simple stuff. You can make him something, and he'll be the happiest kid in the world just to open his present and have something...anything to play with.  I know you really want to provide him with great things, but remember what he needs most is your love and it sounds like he has plenty of that. :)

[kfrasher]

Oh honey..Do Not feel like a bad mother!! You a good mother for finding the help your family needs!! I personally can say I asked for help years ago when we really needed it and I promised myself I would help others when I got a chance....and I've stuck to that promise!! Let someone else get their blessing by helping you!! Plus this is the time of year people love to give to familys!! God bless you this holiday!! ;-)

[aly_e]

Thanks ladies. I'm just on an emotional roller coaster. I knoe my husband and I will make it.just an awful month and I need lots of hugs anf kisses from my lil boy. I probably will call some local charities but I feel incompetent as a mother and provider. Trying tip stay calm for my unborn.

[Victorian87]

Get in touch with your local county building, salvation army or even catholic churches a lot will have funds to help people out in pinches like this.  I would hate to do that but honestly would be worth it especially around the holidays. You can get help with bills/food. Try a food pantry. Just call around and explain your situation and say you are just looking for any services that may be helpful. Good luck to you, wish you the best and merry Christmas!

[agrell]

Take a breather...look at all the wonderful things in your life instead of all the bad...you have a beautiful son that loves you very much im sure...and a little miracle on the way...times are hard now but they wont always be this bad...just stay into those little boys eyes of yours and realize why you are doing what you are doing...and know that there is light at the end of the tunnel...best of wishes and i hope things get better for you :)

[Proudmommie2012]

Omg i am so sorry that u are going through this...but god will never give us more than we can handle!! Just hang in there!! At least u are all together for the holidays!! As of now I don't have anyone but me and my unborn son for the holidays but I'm grateful to at least have him! Just look at the things that u do have and appreciate it because everyday above ground is a gift!