PLEASE HELP

[AZasu]

ok..  so my little girl is 2 1/2 weeks old...   I've only had her home for a week and half..    My fiance's parents came 4 days after her being home..  so I've had like NO time to bond with her..  I hate sharing her.. its driving me seriously NUTS!!   his mom has been staying with us since last saturday and will be here for another 5 days..    when my little girl crys she runs over to her and I cant even pick her up..  now his dad is here and he's holding her and not holding her head..  its flopping all over and I'm so nervous!  I dont know what to do.. I think I'm going to have a nervous break down.

[JoyRenee]

That would drive me nuts!!! If this is stressing you out, tactifully ask them to leave. But from their standpoint, they just want to see their grandbaby and are proud! Do they live nearby? If not, they probably just want to soak up these newborn moments before they go back home. They probably don't realize they're stepping on your very sensitive toes. You have to tell them that it's bothering you, as hard as confrontation can be!

When you see his dad not supporting the baby's neck, BE YOUR BABY'S VOICE. You need to gently remind him. He may not have remembered. Or you could ask your husband to speak with him privately, so he's not embarassed. He just may not realize what he's doing.

Personally it would drive me crazy and I'd be so stressed out. It's different with baby #2 or more because you need more hands to help you. But with your firstborn, they definitely need to back off!

[sarah3333]

My sister used to have the same problem with her in law.
even though she try to tell them nicely. Her mother in law
would not listen, even when the baby sleeping she had hold
the baby.
My sister use to say things like'' I want the baby
in bed, so she doesn't get  used so much with hands, If she
ís used to hand she will want me to hold her 24/7, and that
will be a problem when I have to do other things in the house.

Every times she is doing sometime that my sister doesn't like.
even if my sister tell her nicely not to to it. she usually say
this is your first baby, and I am a mother on 3, I know what
I doing. My sister had to ask her to GET OUT one day

D'ont let anyone come in between you and your kid, you are the one who
went to all the pains, you are the MOM. Good lyck !!!!!!!!!!!

[star_girl]

I like what BTS is doing.  i really like the answering machine idea.  Way to go.  Thats the way to do it!

[BTS1022]

I had the same issue with my mother in law, and my youngest son. She was at the house before I even got to bring him home. She would hog him all to herself and never allowed me to hold him, feed him, chnge him or just enjoy him period.

Im sure if you say something, nicely but firmly they will back off a bit. I had told my MIL in a not so nice way, that she should go and get her own baby lol.

Im not allowing ANYONE to come over and see the new baby for atleast 2 weeks. That way I can bond, hubby and the kids can bond and get used to having a new little one in the home. If I need to take more time, I will, if I feel like im okay with visitors after just a week, then okay...but I refuse to let anyone see him or visit until Im ready.

Hubby even has a little message set up for our answering machine lol Telling people that they are not welcome to see the baby until I am up for it, so not to ask. lol

[casandbaby]

jame0223 and asking4amiracle pretty much said it, and as for the dad not supporting your babys head just kindly say that you'd feel alot better if he you held it like this and show him. Or if you feel you can't do it have your fiance say something hopefully they are able to understand and do as you ask good luck =]

[njrohe]

If you want your in-laws to go home I would tell them, politely, by saying something like, "I really feel like I would like some time alone with the baby.  I appreciate all your help, but I am very anxious to bond."

If you want them to stay or they came from out of town and you just want them to back off, I would say something like, "I understand that you love the baby very much, but it is very important to me to do things for the baby right now.  This time is very precious to me.  They are only this little for a short while."  Also, if you do let them handle the baby and you do not like what they are doing, tell them.  Make a comment like, "Would you mind holding the baby's head a little better?  Maybe I'm just being a paranoid new mommy but it would really make me feel better."  They will almost definitely comply.

[Asking4aMiracle]

i have to agree, you need to stand your ground. i know its probably hard but you are the mommy. if asking her nicely doesnt work, tell her, i will get my daughter when she cries. she needs to understand that she is stepping on your toes in your home and its not ok. have you talked to your fiance about it yet? maybe he can slip in and say something like mom, can you not jump at the baby's every cry and if there is an issue with that maybe you all need to talk about it. like i said, its a hard situation and topic but its something that you cant let just happen when you feel this way, that is your baby girl.

Good luck sweety!

[Jame0223]

MAN! If my baby cries noone but me and daddy are going to comfort hurt unless someone else is asked! lol I would just tell her that you will get her and if she does the whole no no you rest! thing be like she's my daughter and I want to get her. Whenever they aren't in the room pick her up and just hold her, asleep or not. She's already bonded with you and feels best in your arms. I would have a nervous break down too! I wouldn't want anyone going for my crying baby but me! Or my honey...he's okay I guess lol. Just tell them politely how you feel. Complain to his mom that you don't feel like you're bonding with her enough and when she starts crying tell her you want to get her. If she's an understanding person at all she will be okay with this. Good Luck!