Aa
Please, someone I just wanna talk! HELP!!!
I need to talk to someone! Me and my boyfriend just got in an argument, he told me to sleep on the couch, I have no cover! I said can we just talk instead of blowing things outta control, he yelled at me, slammed my hand in the bedroom door, opened it back up and then shoved me into the counter, grabbed me by the neck and was holding me. I'm not hurting or anything besides my hand is hurting pretty bad. I'm 18 weeks pregnant! I just worried something will go wrong with my baby if I don't quit crying, but I can't stop!!!!! I'm trying not to be loud, cause I don't want him to say anything to me, or even know I'm typing this! I love him to death, and he has never done anything like this!!!! This has nothing to do with me being pregnant, cause he is very excited. It just *****. I don't know if I needed to talk, or just to let you know how my weekend was going. But on a happier note, I was really excited I bought my baby some onesies today! 5 of em =) Super cute. I hope everyone else is having a great weekend.
I'm catching up and on the weekend posts and was shocked to see this. What a jerk!
I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you what I did and how it worked out for me. When I was 5 months pregnant with my ds my ex and I were fighting horrible. It started out as him screaming at me and sometimes throwing things around the house. He got worse and started shoving me while I was pregnant. Nothing serious, but he was pushing me around. I went into preterm labor over and over again almost lost the baby it was awful. He even started yelling at me in the hospital and the dr had him leave. I should have left him, but I was pregnant and what was I going to do? We had the baby and by the time my son was a year old my ex was even worse. It got to where he would come at me infront of my son. What started as shoving a few times ended in him trying to choke me out infront of the baby. I should have left him when I was pregnant. Guys don't get better from that. It's not a one time mistake. If he is willing to hurt you once he will do it again.
I did leave my husband and divorced his a**. I'm just sorry I waited so long. I put my self and my son at risk by thinking he would stop or it wasn't that bad. It's one thing to put up with that yourself, but another thing to bring your child into it.
I wish you luck in whatever you end up doing. I know if someone had told me the same thing when I was pregnant I probably would have ignored it, but I still hope this helps.
I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you what I did and how it worked out for me. When I was 5 months pregnant with my ds my ex and I were fighting horrible. It started out as him screaming at me and sometimes throwing things around the house. He got worse and started shoving me while I was pregnant. Nothing serious, but he was pushing me around. I went into preterm labor over and over again almost lost the baby it was awful. He even started yelling at me in the hospital and the dr had him leave. I should have left him, but I was pregnant and what was I going to do? We had the baby and by the time my son was a year old my ex was even worse. It got to where he would come at me infront of my son. What started as shoving a few times ended in him trying to choke me out infront of the baby. I should have left him when I was pregnant. Guys don't get better from that. It's not a one time mistake. If he is willing to hurt you once he will do it again.
I did leave my husband and divorced his a**. I'm just sorry I waited so long. I put my self and my son at risk by thinking he would stop or it wasn't that bad. It's one thing to put up with that yourself, but another thing to bring your child into it.
I wish you luck in whatever you end up doing. I know if someone had told me the same thing when I was pregnant I probably would have ignored it, but I still hope this helps.
Just wanting to know how you are doing so far, and to tell you to keep us updated if you can, I for one want to make sure you and baby are ok.
I agree that you should leave. You are putting yourself and your baby at risk. That baby will forever depend on you to make choices for him or her that are in its best interest. In rare cases, rehabilitation does happen but again, that is RARE!!! I just heard a therapist on TV the other day saying that in the 33 years he has been in his profession, he could count on one hand how many men he has seen actually be rehabilitated. Those stats are not very promising.
I too was in an abusive relationship a long time ago. It started out w/ his mouth and then went on to actual physical abuse. My son was a baby and it didn't have to happen very many times for me to figure out that was not the kind of life for me or my son. I also knew that he may eventually try to hurt my son and if that had ever happened, I would have gone to jail that night, I assure you. Infact, I would probably still be there, so that would not have been good for my son either.
Anyway, I hope you really do take our advice to heart. Most of us have either been there or know someone who has.
I too was in an abusive relationship a long time ago. It started out w/ his mouth and then went on to actual physical abuse. My son was a baby and it didn't have to happen very many times for me to figure out that was not the kind of life for me or my son. I also knew that he may eventually try to hurt my son and if that had ever happened, I would have gone to jail that night, I assure you. Infact, I would probably still be there, so that would not have been good for my son either.
Anyway, I hope you really do take our advice to heart. Most of us have either been there or know someone who has.
I agree with all the other ladies, you need to leave. Rehabilitation may be possible but you shouldn't take that risk while pregnant. It's NEVER okay for someone to put their hands on you, no matter what the circumstances, especially someone you love or who claims to love you. If after this child is born you choose to work things out, I really wish you all the best and hope you find a successful form of therapy. But until then, keep yourself and your child away from this person. Your body may be able to withstand the abuse, your mind may convince you it's okay, but your child has no other voice aside from yours at this point and it would be very tragic if that little miracle was lost over a simple lapse in judgement. Take care and I'll keep you in my prayers.
Ladies I'm taking all your advice to heart, and I will update you on what is going on later. Keep me and baby in your prayers please.
CALL THE COPS ON THE SORRY SOB! Any man that will put their hands on you when your pregnant dose not need to be around a baby. There are places you can go! Just call the cops and they will take you to a shelter! Woman get killed all the time because they stick around when they should had left. They treat men that beat woman and kids REAL nice in jail! He can hurt the baby by putting his hands on you. Let him go to sleep or the bathroom the walk to some ones house or apartment. GET HELP! To hell with him.... you have to think about whats best for that baby now. I'm praying for you girl! Anita
This is called abuse and even if you love him, you need to leave. If he'll do it to you, he just may do it to your baby. Find someone safe you can stay with and PLEASE don't go back. You need to love yourself more than you love him.
My husband used to be like that. he thought nothing of hitting me when he got truly ticked off. Of course I'd hit him back.
We finally had to sit down ALONG with a close friend or family member that could be the mediator, and had a long talk about things.
I Suggest you do the same. If this is the first time it IS possible that it won't happen again. Most likely it will. it took my husband about 5 times to stop, and my brother who's over 6'2 had to talk to him (calmly... not kick his butt)
If he's excited about the baby, then you need to ask him what's gonna happen when he makes you lose the baby due to physical abuse. Ask him if he wants to be a murderer?
because at this point in your pregnancy it can be considered a form of murder. make sure you have someone there who can stand between the two of you if needed.
We finally had to sit down ALONG with a close friend or family member that could be the mediator, and had a long talk about things.
I Suggest you do the same. If this is the first time it IS possible that it won't happen again. Most likely it will. it took my husband about 5 times to stop, and my brother who's over 6'2 had to talk to him (calmly... not kick his butt)
If he's excited about the baby, then you need to ask him what's gonna happen when he makes you lose the baby due to physical abuse. Ask him if he wants to be a murderer?
because at this point in your pregnancy it can be considered a form of murder. make sure you have someone there who can stand between the two of you if needed.
hun u need to get out and away from him, last thing u need right now is to be stressing and having panic attacks etc it can cause big probs for u and ur bubba and u dont need that!
it doesnt matter that it hasnt happend before, now that it has u need to get away from him for now, do u have someone u can stay with?
no matter what, get away from him even if u have to wait for him to leave the house so that its safer for u to leave while he isnt home, pack the things u need, leave him a note telling him that its unnacceptable and u cant deal with that ever again let alone when ur pregnant!
dont let him get away with it hun because u never no what els he could do if u never saw this comming he could do it again or worse
i hope ur ok xo
it doesnt matter that it hasnt happend before, now that it has u need to get away from him for now, do u have someone u can stay with?
no matter what, get away from him even if u have to wait for him to leave the house so that its safer for u to leave while he isnt home, pack the things u need, leave him a note telling him that its unnacceptable and u cant deal with that ever again let alone when ur pregnant!
dont let him get away with it hun because u never no what els he could do if u never saw this comming he could do it again or worse
i hope ur ok xo
i dont think having you two talk things out will do any good. maybe for a little (using it very loosely) once and abusive guy....always an abusive guy. and its not just about you anymore. its about you and your baby. i really hope you are somewhere safe and away from him. i hope you leave
I just got out of a situation like that not too long ago. I deal with him from a distance. It only gets worse. He'll think because you brushed passed it this time and the next time ya'll get in an argument he will think its okay to put his hands on you again, I know that you love him and you also have to ask yourself how much does he love and respect you. After the incident happened with my ex I tried making all the excuses in the world of justifying what he did was right, but after it kept happening I knew that it was going to be him or either me and trust me it's not worth it you have a baby on the way. I couldn't even stand for him to touch me after that happened. it was like if he would touch me i would jump not knowing if he was going to hit me or show me affection, and oh the sex after that happened was horrible. we were trying to have a baby but all of that went out the window when he put his hands on me. Pushes turns into shoves and shoves into hits and then the lists goes on. I'm not going to sit here and try to tell you what to do but if it were me I would leave to show him that you mean what you say. Don't forgive him to quickly, what happens the next time? I know you love him like you say, but you also have to love yourself as well..... You also don't want your baby to be in that type of environment. Give him time to think about what he did. This was my first abusive relationship and i am 27 and i wish that on nobody but you have to take control over the situation because you hold all the power. If he loves and respects you he will follow all the requirements that you set forth for him, im not saying act like his mom but you have to set guidelines that he must follow if he wants to continue this relationship and let him know that you WILL NOT tolerate him using you as his punching bag no matter how angry he is.
i would be more concerned about my bf being abusive and having just slammed me into the counter and door than if my crying will upset my "bf" and baby. LEAVE. you dont want your baby growing up around a guy who just did that to you especcially while your pregnant
OMG girl. I was in the same position as you once only mine caused me to have a miscarriage. I couldn't even stand to look at the man anymore. He was awful. I really couldn't believe that it was happening to me. It was the most painful thing that I have ever been through. I would hate to think that something like that actually happens to anyone else. The girls are right. He absolutely is showing his true colors! It only escalates from what happened to you last night. Do anything you can to get away from that man. Please let us know how you are doing.
Ok...take my advice, leave him. If he's really not like that then he will realize you mean business, and you won't put up with bs like that. I left an ex of mine because he did **** like that, always said he'd change, would never hurt me...yeah, I've heard it all. You really need to think about your life and the life inside you...
Im so sorry this has happened.but wow what an idiot he is.showing his true colours,may have been the first but wont be the last hun,men like that cant help themselfs,ive been done this road myself many years ago.your pregnant and need to think of that baby,is there anyone you can go and stay with,you really dont want to be with someone like that.especially when baby is born,my son saw all the violence in my relationship not good.its a great feeling when you buy baby stuff isnt it.I hope you start feeling better soon.seriously think about your future with this man..
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