Pregnancy Regrets

[Atia_Julii]

As many of you know, it took me about 18 months to get pregnant.  Many failed treatments, and I ended up getting pregnant o' natural without even trying.  Bizarre!

As soon as I found out and told my husband, I called my sister to tell her.  Afterall, she'd been through my 18 months of fertility treatments, and she was thrilled for me.  My DH and I said we wouldn't tell anyone else, but then we figured we should tell our immediate families because they also know of our struggles the past year and a half.  So we told them.

Then, I told a friend, and another friend, as did DH.  Well, let's just say a lot of people know now.  

And now I'm feeling bad about it.  I go in tomorrow for an ultrasound.  We are thinking we are about 6 weeks along, and hopefully will be able to see the heartbeat, but a lot could still go wrong.  And now A LOT of people know.

I don't know why I feel guilty. I mean, I've been waiting and dreaming of the day I could announce this news for the past 18 months.  But now that I've announced it to so many, in the back of my mind, I realize a lot could still happen, and there are now a lot of people I'd have to tell that it didn't work out.

Any comforting thoughts?

[thickm]

i know the feeling i told everyone i was pregnant then i miscarried july 09 and i had to go thru the dreaded conversation "how far along are you" "you are still not showing yet" i had to relive the pain all the time! so this pregnancy i was gonna keep it a secret til i thought everything was gonna be okay but my load mouth husband told people and sad thing is my sister in law was the last to know and shes pist, havent talked to her in 2 weeks

[mrspookie]

Atia_Julii, I remember you from last year on these boards when I was surfing for answers and when I saw you got preggo on your own I was thrilled.  I believe that you should enjoy the good things in life and believe that they are good.  In your heart, you are so excited and you shouldn't feel bad about expressing that.  Life happens, and you just so happen to have a life inside of you that is A BLESSING!!  I pray that you have a wonderful and healthy 9 months.

[JoyRenee]

Awww, don't feel guilty! You are excited and blessed!!!!!! It's great to share the news. In the event something DID happen, then all those wonderful people will be at your side instead of you harboring grief all alone. NOT that anything is going to happen. But want you to know it's okay to be excited! You're just getting nervous about the sono. I can't wait to hear a great update after the U/S!

[mami1323]

I told people the minute I found out.  If they are important enough to tell something like that to than they will be supportive to you if something should happen.  So I wouldn't worry about it.  Congrats again.

[SillyRenee]

Hi there.  Congrats on your pregnancy!!  I would just like to say that after unprotected intercourse for almost 4 years I was surprised we never got pregnant.  I was prescribed a round of Clomid (I don't ovulate apparently lol) and actually got pregnant the first time.  I found out on a Thursday and told EVERYONE i mean EVERYONE.  I was so excited.  That Tuesday at almost 6 weeks I miscarried.  I do not regret telling people early at all.  I had such support the days following it and truly wouldn't have changed telling anyone if I could do it over.  You have to think, whatever may happen is going to happen regardless if you tell one person or tell the world.  I just felt better knowing I would have a support system if something happened which did.  I am currently getting ready to start my second round of Clomid this month and if I get pregnant again, I will still probably tell people lol.  I wish you all the luck in the world and I truly hope everything goes perfectly for you :)

[JillyHemp316]

You shouldn't feel bad about telling people. I did the same thing in August and then we ended up losing the baby. It was really hard. But this time around we decided that we weren't going to tell as many people. But here I am 8 weeks pregnant and pretty much everyone knows. Yesterday we told my husbands parents and then last night, I had a little bit of bleeding and a clot. I figured that was just my luck, but so far so good. We're planning on telling everyone around thanksgiving. Well everyone who doesn't already know.

[Victoria01]

Never regret sharing one of the most beautiful, wonderful things that can happen in a women's life. Don't worry about people saying it's 'too early'. You shouldn't have to keep it a secret if you don't want to. This is an amazing thing, and even more amazing since it took you time to conceive. Shout it from the rooftops!!

[Atia_Julii]

Thanks so much beautiful ladies! :-D

I just told someone over my lunch hour, and she was surprised I was telling people so quickly.  She then went on to say how she thinks women should wait to tell.  I was caught off guard a bit.

This may be my only chance in life to share this news.  Thank you for helping me feel better about sharing this news. :-D

[AngellaHas2]

You are excited. Dont feel bad at all. Their is no real rule of telling anyone, or when to tell people. So what if you told alot of people. I wanted to tell the inter world when I found out my beaner was on her way.

[single_mom_of_2]

i felt the same way when I found out I was expecting... I told everyone at work I was expecting just off the pregnancy test alone and then immediately became concerned if I was really expecting and if I miscarried how could I face everyone I told but here I am, 27 weeks along and doing fine. Don't succumb to the doubts, just imagine your baby healthy and growing strong and firm!! Day dream of the days when you can hold your baby and stare at the wonderful creation you two created, not the scary things that can happen... Ive heard stories of women who drank alcohol and did drugs during their whole pregnancy and still gave birth to a healthy and beautiful baby. I doubt your doing any of that since you were trying for so long to conceive a child so trust that your body is ready and willing to provide for this baby.

[Frances0730]

Congrats on your pregnancy!  I'm very happy for you, especially after all you have been through to conceive a child.  It's okay that people know you are pregnant : )  Do not feel guilty about it.  After all, I don't even know you and yet I'm so happy for you.  Imagine how happy your friends and family are for you!  If something does happen, and more than likely things will be fine, they will want to be there to help you.  I have also told more people than I originally planned to about my pregnancy...I'm 8 weeks.  I remind myself that if something does go wrong, they will be there to help me and I will need their support.  I hope you have an easy and happy 9 months!  Good luck!

[Atia_Julii]

Thanks.  A part of me just wishes I could remind to a week and a half ago when I found out, and only tell my husband.  I almost feel pressure that I've told so many other people.

[single_mom_of_2]

Dont stress out about what could happen... the what if questions are a conundrum that you don't need right now so early in your pregnancy.. take it one day at a time and enjoy the fact that you have a baby growing inside you!! There is alot that can happen in the span of 40 weeks but that doesn't mean that it will happen to you! Stay positive!!