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Pregnancy question from worried husband
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Pregnancy question from worried husband

My wife and I became pregnant as she took a pregnancy test on October 17, 2010 and it tested positive.  She made an appointment with her OBGYN and he confirmed she was pregnant with blood work.  She was scheduled another lab a week later and they said her numbers should have doubled so they wanted her to come back and have more done.  Well, the last test her levels seemed to be ok and we bagan preparing for the baby and were excited.  My wife believed she was about 7 weeks as of yesterday and I believed we conceived on or about October 8, 2010.  My wife was having some cramping yesterday so she called her OBGYN and he told her to come in.  The did an ultrasound and could see a sac but no, baby, or heartbeat.  He told her that she would most likely have a miscarriage and that she should get a DC.  My question is do they go by the last day of MS or do they go by date of conception.  Also, is this too early to tell my wife to have a DC being that I believed we just conceived on or about the 8th of October.  He has my wife thinking that if she waits then she will miscarriage on her own and it will be painful and she could hemorrage among other things.  She is scared and so am I.  Is it safe to wait and again from what I have read it is too early possibly to see anything. Please help.
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15 Comments Post a Comment
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1430191_tn?1300805016
They go by last menstrual cycle BUT, if I were you, I would wait another week to have another u/s to make sure there is no heartbeat..
I had the same exact problem and I ended up in DNC however, I know bunch of girls who waited for another week, had another u/s AND There it was, the heartbeat! So, I would wait for another week or so just to make sure.
Also,  I am positive that her miscarrage (miscarriage) won't happen any time soon so waiting for another week won't be a problem. DNC is a very simple procedure and I agree with your doc, it is better that way then to wait for your own m/s. Also, you can start over in 2 months and next time you will have a baby!!
I had same problem, only it took me 7 months after DNC but I had a baby girl! So, hang in there!
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Avatar_f_tn
sorry to hear you'r bad news. but she would only be four weeks and that's way early to hear heart beat. i think you guys should get second opinion i do not think she is miss carrying at all. and cramping stretching like feeling is normal in pregnancy it is the uterus stretching. get a second opinion good luck
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1454858_tn?1306787978
definately wait.
      I have experienced a miscarriage and it is definately painful.  I don't think there is a high chance of hemmoraging....  My doc advised me to have a miscarriage naturally.  It is easier on your body & faster recovery than a d & c.

    there are also many reports of misdiagnosed miscarriages.  Meaning doctors have been wrong because conception occured later than estimated.  While this is rare it IS possible.  I have heard reports of women going on to have a healthy baby after they were told they would miscarry it.

I personally found that miscarrying naturally gave me a little more closure than having a D & C.  There wasn't anything "ripped" from me.  I imagined all the pain I was having was because then my baby was no longer suffering.  However, this is all personal preference.  Some women may want a  D&C to get it over with, so they can get on with things.  How does your wife feel?  Primarily. she is the one whose body is going to deal with it.  I don't mean to slight your loss, as I'm sure you have strong emotions about it also.
    Try to keep your wife as comfortable as possible.  Walking around helped my cramps & contractions along.  I also took some pain meds & went to sleep with a heating pad.  The whole process took a little over 24 hrs to pass.  It is safe to wait, as long as you get follow up treatment, but it will be painful.

I'm sorry this is happening.
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1454858_tn?1306787978
I also think it is too early.    My first ultra sound (this time ) was at 5 wks 5 days.  there was no heartbeat.  My nest us was at 8 wks 2 days.  beating strongly!

I have had cramping with all of my pregnancies.  This is normal, especially in early pregnancy.

Also, when I miscarried, I started bleeding a few days prior, so it gave me some warning.

Please wait it out.  This may not be a miscarriage.
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938326_tn?1300882404
WOW, I see so much of this, and have also had this happen to me. I was having repetitive ultrasounds my last pregnancy because we were unable to find the baby...I was 8.5 weeks before they even found her. She is now 8 months old. They tried to tell me that it was a blighted ovum(which I suffered from only 4 months before) They wanted me to either have a D&C or take a pill to enduce miscarriage. I thank God every day that I Stood strong and followed my gut instinct. Sometimes its hard to find baby, dates could be off, she could have a tilted uterus...or baby can plainly just be hiding. I highly reccomend you wait it out. I miscarriaged on my own, naturally with my blighted ovum. I didnt hemmorage or anything like that. There was someone recently that had a post and the dr had advised to do the same, hcg numbers werent rising properly, and they went for a second opinion, turns out they are pregnant with twins...Miracles happen everyday. Please be patient, and I wish you the best of luck.

Do you know what her numbers were for her hcg counts and is she getting them done again?
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971074_tn?1362763366
Follow your instincts...

If you really feel that you should wait it out a little bit, then please do. Also, If you think you need a second opinion, then seek one out.
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Avatar_m_tn
I do not know exactly what her numbers were but the last time the doctor made it sound like they were alright. She did have lab work done yesterday so I am sure she will get them today not sure though I am waiting.
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1454858_tn?1306787978
sorry I keep pestering you here 7 adding to this.  I just keep thinking about this.  She got a positive hpt on Oct 17th?  I got a positive on Oct 1st.  So, she is about 16 days behind me.  making her around 6.5 weeks as of now.  I DID NOT see a heartbeat at 5 wks 5 days.   I have heard of some heartbeats not showing until 8 weeks.

I THOUGHT I would have been 9 weeks 4 days ( according to my cycle)  I am currently only 5 days.  So, I was 6 days off right there!   Women do not ovulate like clockwork.  Her dates could be off too.  a couple of days can make a huge difference.  I'm not trying to give you false hope, but this COULD be the case for you.  best wishes!
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1303813_tn?1303162962
She may not be as far gone as you think she is... She may have Ovulated later than 2 weeks before her next period! If you think you convcieved on the 8th and got a pos on the 17th? then she will still be in the implantation phase when she got her positive result...??
I think her dates are wrong and she isnt as far gone as you think she is!! Her Numbers dont mean anything its the fact if they are rising like they should thats the good thing.

I say seek a second opinion and or wait a week or 2 and get a repeat ultrasound. If it comes back the same... then there is your answer.

sorry this is happening to youu.

x
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938326_tn?1300882404
Hi there,
Just checking in to see if you had heard any news on your numbers?
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1123420_tn?1350564758
I didnt get my first Ultrasound till I was 11 weeks along.  and between weeks 4-6 I did have cramping, like period cramps.  my son is now 6 months old. i too think you should wait another week to see if a heartbeat shows.  and defiantly if she is gonna miscarry, let her do it on her own.
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Avatar_f_tn
Dr's measure your pregnancy from the 1st day of your last period if you have on average a 28 day period cycle.
If your period cycle is longer than 28 days or irregular they base your pregnancy stage two weeks prior to you conceiving, so it will always appear you are two weeks further along than the age of your baby. EG Dr says you are 12 weeks pregnant, your bay is only 10 weeks old.
This is why they also allow for you to go over your due date by two weeks.

So if your wife is 7 weeks pregnant, then your baby is only 5 weeks old, and its very common to not see the baby or the heartbead that early on.

When i was pregnant with my son, i had a very early scan, my baby would have been 5 1/2 weeks old and he was barely visable and Dr's wernt 100% sure they could see the heartbeat, so i went back two weeks later and i could see him clear as day and he had a strong heartbeat.

So my advice is to go back for another scan in two weeks.
Try not to worry about the cramps as its very common to have that in early pregnancy.

Id say unless your wife starts to bleed or have severe pains, then is is still hope your baby is there and its just to early to see it.

i really hope this works out well for you
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1293887_tn?1332706447
I would definately wait another week and see what happens.  With my first child I had my first scan at 11 weeks based on my last menstrual period and my son only measured 9 weeks - he was 2 weeks behind.  If I would have had an earlier scan they wouldn't have seen him and could have concluded a miscarriage.  My son is now 3 and a half.

I also had a natural miscarriage this year at 14 weeks.  My son stopped growing at 11 weeks.  I didn't have any confirmation I was going to miscarry until 3 hours before I birthed him.  I did see my son as a little baby the size of my finger.  

I will admit seeing him did give me some closure and made it easier to heal.  Miscarrying naturally wasn't too painful but the after pains were unbearable.  In saying that I would go through it again if I had the choice.


Definately wait and see as hard as I know it will be :)  Your dates could be wrong.  I am pregnant now and my dates were about 5 days off when I had my first scan.

Goodluck
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1454858_tn?1306787978
any news here.  I have been thinking about you.
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Avatar_m_tn
My wife had the D&C. My wife trusted this doctor and did not want to get a second opinion. The Dr. said there was no yoke present and talked about some deterioration.  We still have a beautiful 21/2 year old son but believe me we still have trouble with this because we were wanting a daughter.  Sorry for not getting back sooner but this takes a toll on you and it is very sad.  I am still as upset about it.  Take care and thanks for everyone's comments. I truly appreciate it as I didn't want to worry my wife any more than she was and did not really understand.  
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