Rethinking TTC, is it a good reason?

[iwannabemommy]

So here it goes... I want a baby VERY BADLY! But, I also want to lose weight. I'm 5''2 and weigh 186. TOO MUCH for my height. I used to weigh 128-135. I'm getting stretch marks on my legs, arms, stomach, breasts, sides, and behind my knees. I wouldn't mind them so much if they weren't big long red/pink ones!! And, backfat is NOT attractive...


I'm stable to have a baby. But, I'm very unhappy with the way I look right now. Losing weight would be awesome. Having a baby changes the way you look. DH wants to support either decision I make. I am only 20 (very close to 21) and I don't think I should have to deal with this weight problem. Which I think is the cause of my acne problem. I never had it before I gained weight. I'm not really big big, but, I'm big enough it's a problem for myself, and it sometimes affects my relationships with DH and so forth. I cry when I look in the mirror before a shower. I used to be small, and called myself fat. Now that I'm feeling fat, I wish I were small. I used to wear a size 7-9 in jeans, and now a size 13/14 barely make it on my body. THAT'S HOW MUCH I'VE GAINED! Sad thing is, I don't eat much.... I want to be more attractive -to myself.


I'm puzzled at whether I have a baby now, lose the weight and go about my life... Or do I lose the weight now, have a baby later, and work it off...

I might try losing the weight to get in shape, which might help a better chance of getting pregnant.

I just want to know if I'll still be accepted by you guys if I'm not TTC. I still wanna come around and help out the best I can. :)

[iwannabemommy]

my grandmother has a thyroid problem which made her gain a lot of weight. So i'll def. check that out!


All of you ladies are SSoooOOooooOooo helpful!!!

[kelliestarr]

I would work on losing the weight now if you are concerned about it. I am the same height as you but my start weight was 142 lbs and now I am 191 lbs. So either way you'll have to lose weight but if you lose weight now it will be easier to lose weight after the baby then having a baby now and then losing weight. Because I know some people who actually go up 100 lbs. Since you start weight is 186 lbs you'll need to gain 30 pounds or less because your over weight. But since your already 186 lbs you'll probably put on more then 30 pounds. If you work on a heathy eating habit and workout you'll feel better and hopefully lose weight. But you don't really have to stop ttc now just work on both. Working out is a good way to lose weight it helped for me and I was like you too I used to be 120- 130 lbs but I haven't seen that weight for a long time but after the pregnancy I will work on that. I wish you all the best what ever your discision is and of course what ever you do I'm pretty sure everyone here will always welcome you :) there are great and supportive people on this board.

[babyscience]

Personally I would try to lose the weight before getting pregnant...YES you will have to lose the weight twice...but I see it as you can lose 30 lbs now or you can try to lose 60 lbs later which will be twice as hard.  Sometimes being over weight can inhibit you getting pregnant easily.  I know when I was ttc I gained 5 lbs in just a couple months becuase I didnt want to be dieting when I got pregnant.  I thought it would hurt my chances or also be unhealthy for the baby.  Not that it's unhealthy AT ALL, but that was just my wierd thinking.  So I would try to get yourself looking the way you want again, because after the baby...your body will not look like your body for a while.  Mine still doesnt and it has almost been 8 months!  So your young and this is when your body is in it's prime...the older you get the saggier you are!

[Hales20]

I agree iwannabemommy. I am currently doing the same, i am on a 'diet' at the moment, eating alot healthier then what i have been. Although i am allowing myself 'junk' food once a week he he. Other then that, just keep having unprotected sex and keep exercising to get fit and who knows, it might happen?

I am just eating & exercising, and if i get pregnant in the meantime, that would be great!! I am currently on month 5 and am on 4DPO at the moment, although i say i am not 'trying' so much, i am still keeping a tab of things so i know, the only difference being that i am having sex when i want to have sex, not just coz im 'ovulating'. I didnt even have sex on the day of ovulation this time round, although i did have it the day before & the day after (i know i ovulate coz i get pain) so who knows what will happen. If i do get prego it will be great, if not, life goes on. Will just wait till it happens.

Good Luck

[msgorgeous]

you havvent seen me 4 awhile CAS soo how would you know hmmmm lol

[casandbaby]

I agree with joy, you should get your thyroid levels checked out it can keep you from getting pregnant, and it can also cause you to gain weight, or lose it just depends on your levels. I think your plan is a great idea.

And as for you jocelyne(ms.gorgous) you don't look preggo =]

[msgorgeous]

I might have PCOS or tyroid problems i look 5 months pregnant but im not even pregnant at all :) lol

[JoyRenee]

Not every person with PCOS has all the symptoms. I only have high testosterone and tiny cysts on my ovaries. I don't have the insulin problems or any other issues with PCOS. You should definitely see a doctor to make sure. You should also get your thyroid checked out to make sure that it isn't your thyroid causing the disturbances to your body.

If you do that, you're more likely to lose weight and/or become pregnant! GOOD LUCK!!!

[iwannabemommy]

Thanksssssss msgorgeous. :)

[msgorgeous]

i think thats a wonderful idea :)

[iwannabemommy]

maybe I should go to the doctor? I have 4/7 symptoms of PCOS.
Mainly here's a thought... While TTC you can get stressed out, and worry if you got pregnant or not.. right? And, you could gain/lose weight. Ive done nothing but gain.. But, loosing weight would be great...

so here's my plan.... I'm going to lose some weight.Even 10-13 pounds would help....If it doesn't work... I'll go to my doctor and see what she thinks I should do. All without forgetting TTC. DH decided it's best to "try" without "trying". And maybe it won't be on my mind so much. :) We've tried for 4 months already...
what do ya'll think of that?

[evthing4reason]

I suggest going to a nurtitionist. She may be able to set you up with a eating plan. There is ton if misinformation out there. People often will switch to diet soda while trying to lose weight...which is even worse for you then regualr soda. Also maybe you body has an allergy to something which is making you gain the wieght plus the acne. Acne can often be a sign there is something in our diet that our body does not tolerate well.
I do suggest trying to lose some wight first, you will have less time after you have a baby to be exercising, and for the first while, with your scedule being so messed up from the baby, it may be hard to lose your weight plus what you put on during pregnancy, I wish i had've lost more before i got pregnant.

[JoyRenee]

Symptoms of PCOS:

-Acne
-Facial hair and hair growth on chest and down lower belly
-Irregular periods
-Hair loss (from your scalp)
-Depression and mood swings
-Obesity and inability to lose weight
-Chronic pelvic pain (like crampiness all the time)

[shadowserpent]

my prepregnancy weight was 186 and im 5'2 i didnt plan on getting pregnant but i had started losing weight and apparently that can help alot on ttc, so go ahead and lose the weight you want, but keep ttc, you may get pregnant easier, plus because of the weight your are, your less likely to gain alot, im 33 weeks and have only gained 13 pounds! good luck to you!

[iwannabemommy]

I don't want to be skinny. Just enough I'm comfortable with my body. Not for anyone else's sake but my own. Just want to be comfortable enough I'm not hiding anymore.

[gokuangel]

I just wanted to add i dont think any girl is happy with their body ever!! i see all the teenage girls and im conviced that since im not at 105lbs anymore they are all staring at me saying how fat i am!! i feel good about myself around my DH but out in public i am so self conscious! they have flat stomachs and i carry all weight in my gut. At any rate i agree with the girls just eat right and exercise and if you become prego then its great it was meant to be. Dont hold off i would say i was married the first time at ur age and i kept saying that too yes i do want no i dont then i do then i dont (cus he didnt want me to)  not knowing the whole time i couldnt even get prego!1 and now im divorced from that guy and married to a new guy and yes he wants children with me but im almost 27 and im still struggling with infertility!!

[iwannabemommy]

See, my other view is... If I'm not comfortable with my body too much then BDing isn't going to be much fun either. Though, at times it is!! But, just thinking about my body and how I wish I could walk around the room naked instead of covering straight up when the light comes on.... sigh... does anyone get that part? lol

Again, I feel selfish. But I'm not I don't think.


Joy- the weight just randomly started showing up. I don't eat horribly bad, and I still gain weight.... I've tried dieting before but no weight came off. But, it did eventually after just stopping the soda's.. It's just reached a point now that I don't understand it. People ask me if I'm pregnant all the time! With all the stretch marks, who could blame them?
Their even starting on the "front" of my arms. PINK ONES. It hurts so much to see them everywhere. I don't even know if there is anything to help reduce the appearance of them.

What are the symptoms of PCOS?




Anyways, I want to be healthy when I conceive. I don't want to be out of breath just walking anymore (granted I have asthma, I think it will help me out if I lose weight too)

[Michele, Katy, TX]

I think everyone has good points.  You could do both.  But I do think it will be easier to lose weight after the baby is born the better fit you are when getting pregnant.  Not sure if I said that right.  But the better shape your body is in when you get pregnant, the easier time you will have losing the weight after you have the baby.  Maybe that sounded better.  Breastfeeding will help your uterus shrink much quicker than if you bottlefed, but it will not help you lose weight in other places.  It will not help firm up your tummy and we tend to gain weight in places other than our tummies when pregnant, such as our bums, hips, legs, etc.  So breastfeeding won't help that.  I've breastfed all 5 of mine and trust me, that doesn't help your butt any!!!  LOL!!

So, I think there is no reason why you can't do both.  I just wanted to make the point about it being easier to lose the weight after having the baby if.......

[JoyRenee]

iwannabemommy, is there a reason you've gained that weight and are unable to lose it? Or did it just happen? The reason I ask is because I have PCOS and it makes it near impossible to lose weight, not to mention very hard to impossible to conceive.

I used to weigh 130-135 and I'm 186 now because of my pregnancies and developing PCOS after the birth of my youngest. I eat HEALTHY, normal portions and I exercise. And yet here I am, still at the same weight.

You should go to your doctor (OBGYN) and get a physical. Talk with them about wanting to conceive. Give them your symptoms. Make sure you don't have something wrong that is preventing you from losing the weight and/or TTC!!!

Either way I've got your back! I'm TTC despite the weight. Though you must realize it may bring more complications to the pregnancy.

[iwannabemommy]

Thanks everyone. Well I could TTC while losing weight but, I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I've been TTC for 4 months.. As it can take a year to conceive, I guess TTC wouldn't be that bad. But, If I start losing weight finally and get pregnant before I'm done, I might have mixed feelings.... And, being almost 21, I have time to become pregnant...


I feel like I'm being selfish, but if you ladies knew me, you'd see I don't do anything for myself. I put everyone before me. Which might be another reason I've gained weight. Kinda let myself go.



I'll have a long talk with DH, and see what he thinks. I don't want him to be missing out on a family, but I don't want him to have to try with a big blob I call a body.



Thanks again, I'll talk to him as soon as he get's home.

[peekawho]

You'll be doing yourself a big favor by losing some weight first, and making an effort to get fit.  At your age, there is no reason you can't wait 6 months while you give it your all.

I lost 45 pounds in 7 months.  You can do it.  We're not talking about waiting years to become pregnant.  Give it 6 months of healthy eating and lots of healthy, heart pounding exercise.

You'll have an easier pregnancy, and may even have an easier time getting pregnant.  Even if you just lost 10-15 pounds, it would help you enormously.

[Mumita]

Why can't you do both? TTC takes time and so does losing weight.  I'd say start excersising and eating right and who knows, that may be what you need to get pregnant.  By getting "healthy" could also help to help you conceive and I've read this in multiple places.  ttc should not interfere with regular excersise and healthy meals.  And excersising and eating right will definitely will not interfere with conceiving. and if you do get pregnant, continue with moderate excersise and eating healthy so you maintain a healthy body and weight.
I don't think that you need to choose one way or the other.  You can do both and it will be a healthy choice.  however if you do loose weight and get pregnant, when your baby is born choose breastfeeding, it will be great for your baby and it will help you loose the weight gained in pregnancy really fast.

[jesslee83]

gorgeous and hales are right...thinking off the top of my head, if you were to lose that weight quick, then get pregnant, you "could" turn out to be one of those women who have a hard time losing it afterwards...and i think, or i've "heard better yet, that sometimes, stretch marks can become worse if you put your body through kind of what you could call "trauma"....also, work more on TONING...i was 5'4 and 195 in april of 2005 when i went into the army...the woman at the processing center thought i was more like your weight.....it's all in how you carry yourself.....with toning exercises, you push your weight to go down slowly, while strengthening....and that is something you can keep doing after you become pregnant{ie, power walking, swimming, SMALL aerobics weights}...heck you could be one of those "freaks of nature" lol whohave a baby and lose 50 lbs!  i had a h/s friend do that....she was 5'0 and 150(lord  you couldnt tell)...and after her 1st baby and a few months of bf'ing, she was like, idk i'm guessing 120? and it was mostly in her BB's lol.....

either way, we'll ALL support you in what you do.....change your diet etc.....keep a small weight loss routine going, and just let nature takes it's course....sometimes, the best things in life are free and unexpected!!!  (of course a famous actress said the best things are more expensive, but you know what i mean lol)

[msgorgeous]

if you want a baby then i would continue to try because like hales said why lose the weight twice. just start eating healthy. you should be eating through out the whole day. im not exactly sure how many meals/snacks a day tho by you not eating like your suppose to what you do eat gets stored as fat which proly contributes to your weight. start with small moderate excercise then work your way up :) in the end the decision is yours :) ill support you either way. your not alone i have gained a lot of weight too. i got some chubb goin on strectch marks on my stomach my boyyfriend says i look pregnant thats how big my stomach is lol i hate it but i have to be the one to do it. good luck in your decison you dont have to make it today take your time :) and if you decide that you do not want to ttc right now then thats ohk you should continue to come back here :) just because you decide that your gonna put it off dont mean you cant come here :) your welcome any time :)