I'd recommend "the business of being born"
6 part documentary you can watch on YouTube, very interesting xx
My husband has said "it's that forum's fault!!" a few times, because we DO see and hear the negative sides of pregnancy and what can go wrong, but it's healthy, honestly.. it's best we know and get experiences from other women that have been there and have went through it. Honestly, it's the computer in general, I looked up "fetal hiccups" and got a ton of websites saying it was cord strangulation, and I came on here and got my mind completely set at ease, so it can go both ways! My husband was honestly more scared for me to try vaginally again, when they lost our son's H/B, there was about a 2 minute window before they said "we can't get his heartbeat" and them wheeling me off..he had no idea if I was okay, if our son was okay, or what was going on, so it terrified him going through that again, and I took his feelings into consideration while making this decision as well. Either way, it's going to be scary, and either way, it's completely up to you. You can absolutely go through labor again and try again to see if you'll dilate, and the worse that will happen is that you'll end up with a c-section if it doesn't work, or you can talk to your doctor completely about your fears of not dilating and going through it all again for nothing, get some insight from him, there are women that don't dilate properly the first time, and do the 2nd, you can also wait til the end and make sure you're doing all you can (squats, sex, bouncing on a ball, walking, etc) and see if anything is happening on it's own as far as dilating, maybe trying some primrose oil. I hope you get the birth you want, and come to a decision you're happy with!!
Im so upset (angry) right now. Tried talking to hub and he said he would support me either way I choose. Which was wonderful. He asked why I was considering c-section. I told him it scares me to which he replied, im going to make you delete that app. (This one) all you're doing is reading horror stories and getting scared. I told him it has nothing to do with the app. Then I left. (He works nights so I waited in bed for him). Im so mad. Support was what I needed and it started good til he decided to tell me what to do and that my now reasons were unfounded if its from this app.
Thank you ladies for your advice. Its nice to know y'all care to give your take on this situation.
I totally agree with bayez, you DON'T have to make this decision right now.. and I felt so confident when I did make it later on. After many, many discussions with my husband and doctor, we decided this was best for us, it will hit you, trust me, and you'll know it's right for you!
My first one was a vag delivery, i didnt rip or have to be cut at all. So not everyone rips or needs an episiotomy. My second was a c section and this baby will be to...when i found out i was pregnant with this one i absolutely freaked! So i think ur anxiety is totally normal. Its ok to unload on ur hubby, thats what hes there for! My hubbys shoulder has been drenched with my anxiety tears the last 8 months, lol. The best advice i can say, is take it day by day and wait till ur way further along to make ur decision. U have plenty of time. I regret all the worry i had in the beginning, im 37 weeks now and my c section is in 2 weeks!! Good luck!!
Literally like, when you graze your knee, I had one on my..well you know
Dermaplast is a spray used for burn relief/itching it has a cooling effect. With my first i found if i sprayed dermaplast BEFORE going pee then rinsing with cold water then more dermaplast and tucks pads it didnt even burn when i went pee. :)
Don't know what a graze is either... u can sorta say im pregnancy sheltered. Lol
I found the contractions hurt more than tearing, stitches and grazes!
Im a ftm I had my baby a week ago and I think il be fraid secobd time around but I really didnt feal wen I tore I wouldent of known if the doc didnt tell me
Do they give medicine for tearing? Sorry for all the qs
With an episiotomy (whixh i am opting out of) you do still have a chance at tearing yes but it decreases your chance of tearing majorly i think. Of course there is a chance u wont tear at all. Keep that in mind as well. Tearing stings and hurts when you pee but its NOTHING compared to childbirth! And if u use dermaplast and tucks pads on the tears it wont bother you at all! :)
I mean, they do have their benefits like if baby is stuck - but a lot of doctors rush into one to make it faster.
If you don't need it I don't recommend one. It's much easier to heal from a tear than be cut, and some who get cut rip where the cut was made.
I tore twice, 6 or 8 stitches and was healed in two weeks. No pain unless I urinated.
Episotomy.... does it really help or will u rip whether u do or don't?
Honestly, either way I think it should be completely up to you! I got to 8cms and my son went into distress, so we did an emergency c-section, it was a no brainer for me.. of course, and your situation obviously warranted a c-section. My son was 8lbs 9.5ozs as well. BUT if you're set on wanting to try a VBAC (I was in the beginning too, but kept an open mind, now that my son is in school and we learned my little girl is measuring pretty big, we don't want a repeat of that horror) go for it! There are ways to prevent or help tearing, and making sure you talk to your doctor about having patience during birth is one of them. Although I've never had a vaginal delivery, I can imagine the pain of a c-section is worse than tearing. If you don't think that's what you want (and I JUST decided about 30 weeks I wanted a c-section) that's completely fine, and completely up to you. I know my son was big, and I'm only 4'11, so I want him entering the world as healthy as can be, even if that means a c-section for me!
Oh and I tore, had 12 stitches, and grazes. It was crappy but you do honestly cope. It's nothing after childbirth. They generally heal much quicker than a cesarean wound xx
Doc supports either I decide. My first visit I got that ironed out.
I think every mom is scared of childbirth..whether csection or vaginal. Just keep in mind if you had a problem with dilating before its possible to have that problem again. Its rare to rip all the way back.y first was 7 lbs 8 oz and i only needed 2 stitches from tearing. It wasnt that bad. If you are that terrified of tearing ask for an episotomy! :)
I also had a bad first delivery, I'm due again in nine days and terrified but going to do vaginal again if possible, as I have a 17month old to look after and its much quicker healing after vaginal..boyfriend only gets two.weeks off once baby is born :( . plus here you can't opt for cesarean unless its emergency or health reasons..I know how you feel though and its your choice. xx
I would talk to your dr. most don't support vbac
Personally, I would go vaginal first. There are horror stories either way - such as bleeding out on the table or your incision ripping open. You have to decide what you want and are comfortable with, because only you will live with it.
Many women tear, it's very common.