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4254325 tn?1355663975

Scared of labor second time around.. advice?

I haven't broke down and told hub that I think I want a c-section... but im on the verge. Im only 11weeks so plenty of time but here is the whole story.
With my son I was near fearless. I wanted all natural and had I dilated I may have made it. After 10hrs of back labor and only 1cm I opted for epidural. Ended up having c-section because I would not dialate. He came out 8Lbs14oz. This pregnancy I was all in for Vbac. But stories of ripping all the way back are scaring me away. I had a friend who ripped and was in misery. (Bad doc on top of it) I completely trust my doc but im scared of everything that could go wrong. Sure i heard the stories the first time but didn't phase me.

So I need your opinions. Do u think its "ok" to be scared and opt for my 2nd c-section? Or should I suck it up and try for vaginal?
23 Responses
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2195822 tn?1341056911
I'd recommend "the business of being born"
6 part documentary you can watch on YouTube, very interesting xx
Helpful - 0
2020005 tn?1628125976
My husband has said "it's that forum's fault!!" a few times, because we DO see and hear the negative sides of pregnancy and what can go wrong, but it's healthy, honestly.. it's best we know and get experiences from other women that have been there and have went through it. Honestly, it's the computer in general, I looked up "fetal hiccups" and got a ton of websites saying it was cord strangulation, and I came on here and got my mind completely set at ease, so it can go both ways! My husband was honestly more scared for me to try vaginally again, when they lost our son's H/B, there was about a 2 minute window before they said "we can't get his heartbeat" and them wheeling me off..he had no idea if I was okay, if our son was okay, or what was going on, so it terrified him going through that again, and I took his feelings into consideration while making this decision as well. Either way, it's going to be scary, and either way, it's completely up to you. You can absolutely go through labor again and try again to see if you'll dilate, and the worse that will happen is that you'll end up with a c-section if it doesn't work, or you can talk to your doctor completely about your fears of not dilating and going through it all again for nothing, get some insight from him, there are women that don't dilate properly the first time, and do the 2nd, you can also wait til the end and make sure you're doing all you can (squats, sex, bouncing on a ball, walking, etc) and see if anything is happening on it's own as far as dilating, maybe trying some primrose oil. I hope you get the birth you want, and come to a decision you're happy with!!
Helpful - 0
4254325 tn?1355663975
Im so upset (angry) right now. Tried talking to hub and he said he would support me either way I choose. Which was wonderful. He asked why I was considering c-section. I told him it scares me to which he replied, im going to make you delete that app. (This one) all you're doing is reading horror stories and getting scared. I told him it has nothing to do with the app. Then I left. (He works nights so I waited in bed for him). Im so mad. Support was what I needed and it started good til he decided to tell me what to do and that my now reasons were unfounded if its from this app.

Thank you ladies for your advice. Its nice to know y'all care to give your take on this situation.
Helpful - 0
2020005 tn?1628125976
I totally agree with bayez, you DON'T have to make this decision right now.. and I felt so confident when I did make it later on. After many, many discussions with my husband and doctor, we decided this was best for us, it will hit you, trust me, and you'll know it's right for you!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
My first one was a vag delivery, i didnt rip or have to be cut at all. So not everyone rips or needs an episiotomy. My second was a c section and this baby will be to...when i found out i was pregnant with this one i absolutely freaked! So i think ur anxiety is totally normal. Its ok to unload on ur hubby, thats what hes there for! My hubbys shoulder has been drenched with my anxiety tears the last 8 months, lol. The best advice i can say, is take it day by day and wait till ur way further along to make ur decision. U have plenty of time. I regret all the worry i had in the beginning, im 37 weeks now and my c section is in 2  weeks!! Good luck!!
Helpful - 0
2195822 tn?1341056911
Literally like, when you graze your knee, I had one on my..well you know
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Dermaplast is a spray used for burn relief/itching it has a cooling effect. With my first i found if i sprayed dermaplast BEFORE going pee then rinsing with cold water then more dermaplast and tucks pads it didnt even burn when i went pee. :)
Helpful - 0
4254325 tn?1355663975
Don't know what a graze is either... u can sorta say im pregnancy sheltered. Lol
Helpful - 0
2195822 tn?1341056911
I found the contractions hurt more than tearing, stitches and grazes!
Helpful - 0
2170635 tn?1357911686
Im a ftm I had my baby a week ago and I think il be fraid secobd time around but I really didnt feal wen I tore I wouldent of known if the doc didnt tell me
Helpful - 0
4254325 tn?1355663975
Do they give medicine for tearing? Sorry for all the qs
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4254325 tn?1355663975
What's dermaplast?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
With an episiotomy (whixh i am opting out of) you do still have a chance at tearing yes but it decreases your chance of tearing majorly i think. Of course there is a chance u wont tear at all. Keep that in mind as well. Tearing stings and hurts when you pee but its NOTHING compared to childbirth! And if u use dermaplast and tucks pads on the tears it wont bother you at all! :)
Helpful - 0
1194973 tn?1385503904
I mean, they do have their benefits like if baby is stuck - but a lot of doctors rush into one to make it faster.
Helpful - 0
1194973 tn?1385503904
If you don't need it I don't recommend one. It's much easier to heal from a tear than be cut, and some who get cut rip where the cut was made.

I tore twice, 6 or 8 stitches and was healed in two weeks. No pain unless I urinated.
Helpful - 0
4254325 tn?1355663975
Episotomy.... does it really help or will u rip whether u do or don't?
Helpful - 0
2020005 tn?1628125976
Honestly, either way I think it should be completely up to you! I got to 8cms and my son went into distress, so we did an emergency c-section, it was a no brainer for me.. of course, and your situation obviously warranted a c-section. My son was 8lbs 9.5ozs as well. BUT if you're set on wanting to try a VBAC (I was in the beginning too, but kept an open mind, now that my son is in school and we learned my little girl is measuring pretty big, we don't want a repeat of that horror) go for it! There are ways to prevent or help tearing, and making sure you talk to your doctor about having patience during birth is one of them. Although I've never had a vaginal delivery, I can imagine the pain of a c-section is worse than tearing. If you don't think that's what you want (and I JUST decided about 30 weeks I wanted a c-section) that's completely fine, and completely up to you. I know my son was big, and I'm only 4'11, so I want him entering the world as healthy as can be, even if that means a c-section for me!
Helpful - 0
2195822 tn?1341056911
Oh and I tore, had 12 stitches, and grazes. It was crappy but you do honestly cope. It's nothing after childbirth. They generally heal much quicker than a cesarean wound xx
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4254325 tn?1355663975
Doc supports either I decide. My first visit I got that ironed out.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I think every mom is scared of childbirth..whether csection or vaginal. Just keep in mind if you had a problem with dilating before its possible to have that problem again. Its rare to rip all the way back.y first was 7 lbs 8 oz and i only needed 2 stitches from tearing. It wasnt that bad. If you are that terrified of tearing ask for an episotomy! :)
Helpful - 0
2195822 tn?1341056911
I also had a bad first delivery, I'm due again in nine days and terrified but going to do vaginal again if possible, as I have a 17month old to look after and its much quicker healing after vaginal..boyfriend only gets two.weeks off once baby is born :( . plus here you can't opt for cesarean unless its emergency or health reasons..I know how you feel though and its your choice. xx
Helpful - 0
4424188 tn?1355686856
I would talk to your dr. most don't support vbac
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1194973 tn?1385503904
Personally, I would go vaginal first. There are horror stories either way - such as bleeding out on the table or your incision ripping open. You have to decide what you want and are comfortable with, because only you will live with it.

Many women tear, it's very common.
Helpful - 0
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