Aa
So screwed...
So I have a 15 month old daughter and I started seeing this guy a couple months ago. Now I fear that I am pregnant again. I think I had implantation bleeing yesterday, hoping it was my period but no signs since. I am terried because it was bad enough telling my family that I was pregnant and not married/nor even with her dad. I live with my mom so it makes it really hard. The guy I am with would be thrilled I am sure, I was taking all the necessary precautions too. I am so scared. My mom had even warned me about becoming pregnant again. I mean, she makes me feel like pregnancy is the worst thing in the world. hence why I didn't enjoy it the first time. I thought pregnancy was supposed to be a joyful experience. I have never thought about abortion before, and never consider it until now. I can't believe it would even cross my mind, but what other option do I have? Lose my family? Any suggestions?
If you are pregnant please listen to my advice on abortion, I have been there:
My reason for abortion: MEDICAL,I was 5 stone, Anorexic, living in a safe house... and other things I will happily answer.
My Experience: It was the most traumatic experience of my life. I was 22 weeks (I didnt find out til then)... even though you have had a child before and I imagine thats pretty painful... trust me, so it this... I hhad contractions, 6 hours of labour, even though they gave me medication to stop my baby girls heartbeat and kill her inside my body... (That was the worst part) I had one because I physically couldnt have the baby... I bled for 6 hours taking up 3 pads put together within 10 mins, for 6 hours.
You WILL need emotional care afterwards.. PROFESSIONAL..... Without a doubt. I didnt get that, and it is still eating me alive and it was nearly a year ago. It might also ruin your relationship. If he wants it and you dont... the strain. Trust me.
Also, I am NOT 100% sure they are linked but it seems common, no matter how far apart your next pregnancy is to an abortion, it may end up in Miscarriage, as this DID happen to me. Although I managed to get pregnant again the same week as my miscarriage.
I really DO NOT advise abortion, based on my experience. It near on killed me!
There are other forms, like Adoption.
Or talking to your parents......
Good Luck!!
My reason for abortion: MEDICAL,I was 5 stone, Anorexic, living in a safe house... and other things I will happily answer.
My Experience: It was the most traumatic experience of my life. I was 22 weeks (I didnt find out til then)... even though you have had a child before and I imagine thats pretty painful... trust me, so it this... I hhad contractions, 6 hours of labour, even though they gave me medication to stop my baby girls heartbeat and kill her inside my body... (That was the worst part) I had one because I physically couldnt have the baby... I bled for 6 hours taking up 3 pads put together within 10 mins, for 6 hours.
You WILL need emotional care afterwards.. PROFESSIONAL..... Without a doubt. I didnt get that, and it is still eating me alive and it was nearly a year ago. It might also ruin your relationship. If he wants it and you dont... the strain. Trust me.
Also, I am NOT 100% sure they are linked but it seems common, no matter how far apart your next pregnancy is to an abortion, it may end up in Miscarriage, as this DID happen to me. Although I managed to get pregnant again the same week as my miscarriage.
I really DO NOT advise abortion, based on my experience. It near on killed me!
There are other forms, like Adoption.
Or talking to your parents......
Good Luck!!
Did you grow up at my house??? kidding.
The previous ladies have given you wonderful advise. I understand that it seems like you will be disowned... Do you really think they wouldn't get over it????
Maybe , if you are pregnant, you could leave home for awhile & give the baby up for adoption. (if you feel you can't raise the child with your family) There are families out there looking for babies that would house you and your 15 month old. They usually even pay doctors expenses. good luck to you. remember life happens. nobody is perfect.
The previous ladies have given you wonderful advise. I understand that it seems like you will be disowned... Do you really think they wouldn't get over it????
Maybe , if you are pregnant, you could leave home for awhile & give the baby up for adoption. (if you feel you can't raise the child with your family) There are families out there looking for babies that would house you and your 15 month old. They usually even pay doctors expenses. good luck to you. remember life happens. nobody is perfect.
If you know you'd regret an abortion, why consider it? There is always more options out there. I agree that you should talk to your family. Youre far past the age where you can make your own choices. If they can't respect that, you shouldn't be around that. This is your life, not theirs. You can't let people dictate what you do forever, family or not.
Kels,
Likes someone above said, don't panic yet, since you don't know anything for sure. If it turns out you are, I think you need to sit down and have a very serious talk with your mom. Tell her how she made you feel last time, and that you are NOT unhappy about this pregnancy (even though I know it wasn't planned at this time). Let her know that you will not appreciate her making you feel like this baby is a bad thing, and that you won't tolerate it. If she can be positive about it, great, otherwise let her know that you expect her to keep her feelings to herself. Like you said, your 27, not 17. I dont' know whether moving out is an option, but you might want to look into if she's not going to be supportive. You don't want to have to go through all the stuff you went through the last time you were pregnant if you dont' have to.
Likes someone above said, don't panic yet, since you don't know anything for sure. If it turns out you are, I think you need to sit down and have a very serious talk with your mom. Tell her how she made you feel last time, and that you are NOT unhappy about this pregnancy (even though I know it wasn't planned at this time). Let her know that you will not appreciate her making you feel like this baby is a bad thing, and that you won't tolerate it. If she can be positive about it, great, otherwise let her know that you expect her to keep her feelings to herself. Like you said, your 27, not 17. I dont' know whether moving out is an option, but you might want to look into if she's not going to be supportive. You don't want to have to go through all the stuff you went through the last time you were pregnant if you dont' have to.
I know I am old enough to make my own decisions and I know having a second would be challanging but I know that my boyfriend and I could handle it. But I know for a fact that my mother and most likely the rest of my family would never speak to me again. It was bad enough with my first and I was 25 when I had her. Not 15. My parents are like that though. It's terrible. Pregnancy should be an amazing thing and they make me feel like the worst person in the world. I know I would regret an abortion, I know it in my heart. I just don't know what else to do. I'm going to wait another week, that way I'll know I am late, then test. I don't want to be one of those selfish people who put themself ahead of their kids, but I want to be able to do things right for once. Ugh! I'm just very upset with myself. I really took precaution this time. I don't want another one for at least 2 more years. Ugh, who knows. I will keep you update though. Thanks for your advise.
First if all, confirm by blood test if you are pregnant or not. If you are, please do not consider abortion, I had it done in my teens because of the same reasons, and I tell you, I will never ever forget how gutted I felt, and still feel when I remember it. You may not be able to forgive yourself, it took the grace of God for me to get over it. Now I'm married and in my 3rd trimester with my first child.
It was so challenging getting pregnant, that countless times I wondered if it was because of the abortion I did that's why I couldn't get pregnant, even after I was told I developed PCOS, it all seemed like some sort of punishment fir my sin..
Stuff happens, and sometimes parents want to dictate to us on how to live and how not to live, they generally want the best for us.
But don't forget that it's not just you now, the father if the child would be happy as you said. If you can afford it, try and get a place of your own, and make life for yourself and your children. It's worth it in the end.
All the best. :) xx
It was so challenging getting pregnant, that countless times I wondered if it was because of the abortion I did that's why I couldn't get pregnant, even after I was told I developed PCOS, it all seemed like some sort of punishment fir my sin..
Stuff happens, and sometimes parents want to dictate to us on how to live and how not to live, they generally want the best for us.
But don't forget that it's not just you now, the father if the child would be happy as you said. If you can afford it, try and get a place of your own, and make life for yourself and your children. It's worth it in the end.
All the best. :) xx
This is a bit OT, but My mom used to be a nurse in this developmentally disabled home for children when I was a little kid. There was this 2 yr old boy there who was an abortion 'failure' if you will. The mother lied about how far along she was so they attempted an abortion and failed. Anyways, the boy had developmental issues and he had to walk with leg braces. I felt so sorry for the kid. His mom didn't want him. She was a loser and a druggie. His mom never went to visit him. Ever. I think he was a ward of the state.
To the OP: I know how you feel. My mom is/was very controlling. It drove me crazy I got so sick and tired of it. I FINALLY left home. I couldn't take it anymore and all we did was fight. She tried to rule my life. I was 30 yrs old and she was telling me how to live my life, telling me I couldn't go out or hang with friends, etc. Moving out was the best thing I could have ever done. If you're capable of raising a child, then go for it. Don't let what your mother would tell you to let you down.
However, I had 2 kids by the time I was 18. I had my daughter when I was 14 and my son at 18. I just had my third child almost 11 weeks ago. It was hard explaining to my family that I was pregnant again, especially my dad. My dad found out through the grapevine that I was pregnant. I didn't know how to tell him so I didn't. However, this time, I'm currently with the baby's father and he's helping me. I wasn't with my other kids' dads. I can tell you that my parents weren't thrilled, but once they met the new baby, I guess all was well cuz they got stuff for the baby like diapers.
Just wanted to say good luck...
Lisa
To the OP: I know how you feel. My mom is/was very controlling. It drove me crazy I got so sick and tired of it. I FINALLY left home. I couldn't take it anymore and all we did was fight. She tried to rule my life. I was 30 yrs old and she was telling me how to live my life, telling me I couldn't go out or hang with friends, etc. Moving out was the best thing I could have ever done. If you're capable of raising a child, then go for it. Don't let what your mother would tell you to let you down.
However, I had 2 kids by the time I was 18. I had my daughter when I was 14 and my son at 18. I just had my third child almost 11 weeks ago. It was hard explaining to my family that I was pregnant again, especially my dad. My dad found out through the grapevine that I was pregnant. I didn't know how to tell him so I didn't. However, this time, I'm currently with the baby's father and he's helping me. I wasn't with my other kids' dads. I can tell you that my parents weren't thrilled, but once they met the new baby, I guess all was well cuz they got stuff for the baby like diapers.
Just wanted to say good luck...
Lisa
Well your profile says you're 27 years old. Why does your mom have to dictate your life and the enjoyment of carrying a child? I think when someone is contemplating abortion they need to ask themselves:
-is this fair to the life I am carrying to not give them a chance?
-would I regret this decision for the rest of my life?
-would my mother's opinion matter 18 years down the road?
I just watched an amazing YouTube video of an abortion *survivor* Gianna Jensen just last night. Wow, blew me out of the water. I've always been pro-life but hearing from a woman whose mother tried to abort her and ending up being born alive to tell the story.
Politics and religion aside- you need to find out if you are pregnant first or not. Take things one day and one step at a time. And I would highly recommend doing your research (read post abortive testimonies from other women, learn how they are performed, learn about the baby you are carrying, get a sonogram if you are pregnant, etc.).
YOU are the one who makes your happiness, not your mother. And I think abortion, when you feel there is no other way out, will make you bitter and hateful toward her and yourself in the end. I was a volunteer at Birthright (feel free to look up their website and find one in your area; they do FREE tests!) and it was the same story day in and day out. Girls and women afraid of what their peers, parents or colleagues would think and thinking abortion was the only option.
Your momma will get over it and life will go on. You never know what could happen in 6 months, a year or three years. Life changes so quickly! Don't make any hasty decisions.
-is this fair to the life I am carrying to not give them a chance?
-would I regret this decision for the rest of my life?
-would my mother's opinion matter 18 years down the road?
I just watched an amazing YouTube video of an abortion *survivor* Gianna Jensen just last night. Wow, blew me out of the water. I've always been pro-life but hearing from a woman whose mother tried to abort her and ending up being born alive to tell the story.
Politics and religion aside- you need to find out if you are pregnant first or not. Take things one day and one step at a time. And I would highly recommend doing your research (read post abortive testimonies from other women, learn how they are performed, learn about the baby you are carrying, get a sonogram if you are pregnant, etc.).
YOU are the one who makes your happiness, not your mother. And I think abortion, when you feel there is no other way out, will make you bitter and hateful toward her and yourself in the end. I was a volunteer at Birthright (feel free to look up their website and find one in your area; they do FREE tests!) and it was the same story day in and day out. Girls and women afraid of what their peers, parents or colleagues would think and thinking abortion was the only option.
Your momma will get over it and life will go on. You never know what could happen in 6 months, a year or three years. Life changes so quickly! Don't make any hasty decisions.
Well right now, you don't know if you are pregnant or not, so don't get too far ahead of yourself just yet. The reason your mom is like that is because she wants the best for you. She wants you to be able to have a family, have the child have their mom and dad. Because later on they'll most likely want to know their biological dad. Plus raising a child as a single mother is not easy, and you know that. If you are pregnant again, talk to your mom. I don't think she'd want to push away a grandchild. Initially, she won't be happy, but she will get passed it. I wouldn't suggest having an abortion, ever. That would be something you'd regret for the rest of your life. And act very appreciative of your mother, you are living at home and she has been helpful to help you raise your child.
I was in the same boat as you when i found out that i was pregnant with my son except i was with his dad for a month. but now he is my husband. I dont believe that you will lose your family at all, now they might be disappointed and depending on how old you are you might have to find a new home to where you can start your family and be on your own. Other than that I believe they might just want you to grow up a little bit. If I were you and its upsetting you that badly go have a blood test done.
Good Luck with what ever happens!
Good Luck with what ever happens!
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