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TTC! after therapeutic abortion, irregular menses
i had regular period(28 days) b4 my pregnancy(weight@60kg), after my therapeutic abortion(weight 64kg) on April 29th, my 1st period came on June 11th, i started taking folic acid everyday since my 1st period... but the 2nd period was 46 days later on July 26th! in between i tout i was pregnant with no symptoms n 2 negative hpts.. i was so sad... my husband and i had been ttc since after my therapeutic abortion@21weeks till today(weight still 64kg), i do not know when my next period will come and how to calculate my ovulation but my hsband and i 'try' on almost every 3-5days yet till today i haf no signs of having period or pregnancy at all...
i am so so so envy & i am fill wif hope whenever i sees posts here that the ladies here r so "lucky" to get preg on their 1st try or straight away after their m/c, even when they had irregular menses... *signz* whe will it b my turn to send the good news again?
mayb i m jus trying to haf someone else to relate to regarding my situation as my husband was also trumatized by our loss, i try to make love-making as natural n romantic n not concentrating on ttc, but he wans a aby badly as well but jus didnt show...
i am so so so envy & i am fill wif hope whenever i sees posts here that the ladies here r so "lucky" to get preg on their 1st try or straight away after their m/c, even when they had irregular menses... *signz* whe will it b my turn to send the good news again?
mayb i m jus trying to haf someone else to relate to regarding my situation as my husband was also trumatized by our loss, i try to make love-making as natural n romantic n not concentrating on ttc, but he wans a aby badly as well but jus didnt show...
i sorry to everyone here reading.. i didnt mean to b... i jus dun wanna bottle up within myself..
guess i'm the only one who remembers the EDD of my baby girl.. broke down several times today while i was packing my house as i looked at her ultrasound pics, i remember how excited & happy when my husband and my mother and sisters first peek at her on my ultrascans... i remember my husband saying how baby girl was excited to 'see' him as well( coz my baby girl was moving so much that my gynea had such a hard time measuring her )...
its just all meant to be... baby girl, we all love u so much...
guess i'm the only one who remembers the EDD of my baby girl.. broke down several times today while i was packing my house as i looked at her ultrasound pics, i remember how excited & happy when my husband and my mother and sisters first peek at her on my ultrascans... i remember my husband saying how baby girl was excited to 'see' him as well( coz my baby girl was moving so much that my gynea had such a hard time measuring her )...
its just all meant to be... baby girl, we all love u so much...
shier- hang in their. EDD dates are tough days but try to make this day as meaningful as possible. i know how hard it is, i had 2 MC:s myself and the EDD were tough. keep focused on your BFP that you are trying to get.
today is the EDD for my baby girl... miss her so badly suddenly... i'll be ttc again after my period... baby dust to all ttc as well!!!
I hear ya! My last period was July 12 (1st one since D&E done) and havent had yet. Still waiting on it. Good luck
thanks shay2420, i also had the same feeling as u.. but one thing is that i went to the pharmacy for the past 2 days, i realised tat i cant pick up my courage for any hpt tests anymore... im afraid of the disappointment... i wish u good luck!
my last aunty visit was 26 july... till today still i haven got my period(35 days)... i am so confused... what is happening to me? i control my diet slightly to more light dishes n yet i gained another 2 kg! im 66kg now and goin to be so overweight! no baby, no period, and so fat!
my last aunty visit was 26 july... till today still i haven got my period(35 days)... i am so confused... what is happening to me? i control my diet slightly to more light dishes n yet i gained another 2 kg! im 66kg now and goin to be so overweight! no baby, no period, and so fat!
Hey i just read over your story you might want to look at mine, the one i posted. Similar situations. i lost a baby on June 10 had D&E on June 13 had 1st period July 12 and havent had it since then. Dont think im preg took 3 test all neg but been trying every since D&E, started two days afterwards. I havent had a period since July 12th and its now Aug 27. So im not sure whats going on. Afraid to go to Doc because if he tells me im not preg then it will hurt. Im just waiting it out to see what comes first period or positive test
well, to some extent, maybe your inlaws think if you interact with your niece/nephew, it'll help you some...but i can understand your discomfort...they shouldj ust drop the subject and move on, rather than repeatedly bring it up, which is causing you too become more upset...i'm sure somewhere they have good intentions, but you know how inlaws can be ;)
you know, there are some women who have irregular cycles, who intentionally get on the pill to "regulate" their periods, and only do it long enough to have a "regular" cycle for 1 month w/o the birthcontrol, and then they start TTC again, b/c the pills have regulated your body.....in most cases.....maybe this is something you could try? i've known women who will go on the pill for 3 months, skip pills like crazy, and then on the 4th month, they will not take ANY pills and TTC, and sometimes it works very well!!!
you know, there are some women who have irregular cycles, who intentionally get on the pill to "regulate" their periods, and only do it long enough to have a "regular" cycle for 1 month w/o the birthcontrol, and then they start TTC again, b/c the pills have regulated your body.....in most cases.....maybe this is something you could try? i've known women who will go on the pill for 3 months, skip pills like crazy, and then on the 4th month, they will not take ANY pills and TTC, and sometimes it works very well!!!
my FIL & MIL told me to carry my SIL's newborn baby when we were at their place, den keep saying that next time i'll b holding my own soon! its not encouraging, it jus sounds like they jus wan to haf their own grand child and nvr care how i was feeling at tis point... its only been almost 4 months... i am not as 'lucky' to haf a baby as and when i wan like my SIL... also not tat i dunno or wont carry him, its jus tat it breaks my heart to remind me that i loss my baby... my SIL & hubby understands n wun force me...
i believe my baby is an angel who came and left for a reason... i do not wan to name her... but she will nvr b forgotten by me..
i believe my baby is an angel who came and left for a reason... i do not wan to name her... but she will nvr b forgotten by me..
thanks for listening to me... i knew i had to move on... no matter wat.. for those who loves me..
i am so sorry for your loss, as well as your sister.....
i know this may seem strange, but i know a girl who went through kind of what you did...she had to deliver at or around 15-17 weeks also, b/c the baby had lost it's heartbeat.....she's still very upset about this, and it happened last year, however, 1 way for her to kind of deal with her loss, was rather than look at the abortion part of it, was to name her son, and actually talk about him.....rather than call him "baby", she named him hayden and gave him his father's last name, and it was easier for her to deal with the loss, rather than it seem as though it was just a baby.....
idk if that might helpyou, to think of your baby as a child, versus a "fetus" like the dr's would....a therapist would def help, but as one said, if shopping is your cure, go buy something! (just don't rack up too much debt, you might have the next baby on the way!).....
as for your inlaws, omg, i'd be busting someone! and i'm sorry, if my father or father in law, just wanted to quit working, i wouldn't help out with sh!t, because if they are capable of working, they should....it's not your husbands responsibility to take care of them, it is his responsibility to take care of YOU.....me, i'd be asking for the money back, or getting something in exchange(like new furniture sitting in someone ELSES living room!).....
here's a quote that get's posted on this forum quite often......
~An angel in the book of life
wrote down my child's birth
and whispered as she closed the book...
"too beautiful for earth"~
also, we're all on here for support, wether it be miscarriage, TTC, death of a child, pregnancy, venting or just getting excited over things like the mail! believe me, on here, there is never a time when you will feel no one cares! also, although this is a pregnancy forum, there are a lot of women trying to get pregnant, so please, feel welcome! and welcome to medhelp!
i know this may seem strange, but i know a girl who went through kind of what you did...she had to deliver at or around 15-17 weeks also, b/c the baby had lost it's heartbeat.....she's still very upset about this, and it happened last year, however, 1 way for her to kind of deal with her loss, was rather than look at the abortion part of it, was to name her son, and actually talk about him.....rather than call him "baby", she named him hayden and gave him his father's last name, and it was easier for her to deal with the loss, rather than it seem as though it was just a baby.....
idk if that might helpyou, to think of your baby as a child, versus a "fetus" like the dr's would....a therapist would def help, but as one said, if shopping is your cure, go buy something! (just don't rack up too much debt, you might have the next baby on the way!).....
as for your inlaws, omg, i'd be busting someone! and i'm sorry, if my father or father in law, just wanted to quit working, i wouldn't help out with sh!t, because if they are capable of working, they should....it's not your husbands responsibility to take care of them, it is his responsibility to take care of YOU.....me, i'd be asking for the money back, or getting something in exchange(like new furniture sitting in someone ELSES living room!).....
here's a quote that get's posted on this forum quite often......
~An angel in the book of life
wrote down my child's birth
and whispered as she closed the book...
"too beautiful for earth"~
also, we're all on here for support, wether it be miscarriage, TTC, death of a child, pregnancy, venting or just getting excited over things like the mail! believe me, on here, there is never a time when you will feel no one cares! also, although this is a pregnancy forum, there are a lot of women trying to get pregnant, so please, feel welcome! and welcome to medhelp!
thanks, maybe i tout ive been tru the grieving while i was staying home for 1 month after i loss my baby. now maybe not... it getting lengthy... i'm still hoping things becomes as 'normal' again soon...
my younger SIL(aldy had 1 boy 1 1/2 yr old) jus gave birth to her 2nd baby boy in June 25th 08. i felt v happy for her even though both her pregnancies was NOT planned. but it was my FIL & MIL whos driving me crazy. my FIL(healthy man) decided he wans to stop working & asked my hubby(already paying their insurance& cable bills & 'paying' them money monthly) to pay for their water & elec bills as well. our procedure for my induction cost 2k and my hubby earns jus enuff for himself n this home with NO savings. i earn more than my husband but i am not willing to help his parents b/c what's worse, they went for a short holiday after demanding my husband to pay all the bills, bought new furnitures etc... my husband was sad coz he tout they had no money & helped them! but they went on with wat they like to do... nvr consider how it will haf a impact on their son's feelings!
my elder sis also had a m/c@20wks(due to unknown reason) on Feb 29th 08.
my younger SIL(aldy had 1 boy 1 1/2 yr old) jus gave birth to her 2nd baby boy in June 25th 08. i felt v happy for her even though both her pregnancies was NOT planned. but it was my FIL & MIL whos driving me crazy. my FIL(healthy man) decided he wans to stop working & asked my hubby(already paying their insurance& cable bills & 'paying' them money monthly) to pay for their water & elec bills as well. our procedure for my induction cost 2k and my hubby earns jus enuff for himself n this home with NO savings. i earn more than my husband but i am not willing to help his parents b/c what's worse, they went for a short holiday after demanding my husband to pay all the bills, bought new furnitures etc... my husband was sad coz he tout they had no money & helped them! but they went on with wat they like to do... nvr consider how it will haf a impact on their son's feelings!
my elder sis also had a m/c@20wks(due to unknown reason) on Feb 29th 08.
Shier:
I'm sure you are aware that stress can stop your periods.
There is no way for you to go on as if nothing happened -- that won't work, beause it did happen. Let yourself go through the grieving process, and hopefully never look back doubting the decision you made.
I don't know why we get the cards that are dealt to us, but remember, this too shall pass. You will never forget what happened, but how you choose to cope with it is. I think seeing a therapist to get you grounded is an excellent idea.
I send you hugs and gentle thoughts
Kerano
I'm sure you are aware that stress can stop your periods.
There is no way for you to go on as if nothing happened -- that won't work, beause it did happen. Let yourself go through the grieving process, and hopefully never look back doubting the decision you made.
I don't know why we get the cards that are dealt to us, but remember, this too shall pass. You will never forget what happened, but how you choose to cope with it is. I think seeing a therapist to get you grounded is an excellent idea.
I send you hugs and gentle thoughts
Kerano
I have not experienced what you have. I did have an early miscarriage (anywhere from 6-8 weeks pregnant) and that was very hard. Not as hard as your experience, but I did get through it. I did get pregnant again. My baby girl is now 17-months-old.
It's normal for your period to be irregular after birth.
It's normal for your period to be irregular after birth.
Lance06, thanks for listening to me...
anyone had the same situation as me? how did u deal with it?
anyone had the same situation as me? how did u deal with it?
I cannot even imagine. It gives me cold chills just to read this.
Only time can heal your sorrow and whatever you can do in the meantime to help yourself is all that matters. If its shopping, then shop til you drop girl!!
best wishes
Only time can heal your sorrow and whatever you can do in the meantime to help yourself is all that matters. If its shopping, then shop til you drop girl!!
best wishes
nevertheless, only the nurse was there to help wif my delivery was great... i broke down when my sis told me that the nurse (after cleaning my baby) told her that my doctors has made the right choice!
yes not see a therapist but goin for shopping therapy... hope tat helps... i actually kinda lose confidence in DRs after wat has happen to me...
i can stll remember when my OB refer me to another OB to perform my labour, they made it seems like its jus my luck that my baby has to go... ...
i can stll remember when my OB refer me to another OB to perform my labour, they made it seems like its jus my luck that my baby has to go... ...
thanks!
i tried to move on and carry on my life as usual like i was nvr pregnant b4.. but whenever i am alone, or when i c a preg lady, or see a new-born baby, i am reminded of mine again... i bottled up my feelings in front of my husband and my family cos i feel that if i am happy, they will not b worried n be happy wif their life like i nvr loss my baby...
i guess even after seeing a DR etc, not much could be done except to speak up and relate to someone else... n i am goin shopping to relax myself tomorrow...
i tried to move on and carry on my life as usual like i was nvr pregnant b4.. but whenever i am alone, or when i c a preg lady, or see a new-born baby, i am reminded of mine again... i bottled up my feelings in front of my husband and my family cos i feel that if i am happy, they will not b worried n be happy wif their life like i nvr loss my baby...
i guess even after seeing a DR etc, not much could be done except to speak up and relate to someone else... n i am goin shopping to relax myself tomorrow...
Thank you for explaining because it makes more sense now.
I am SO sorry that you had to go through that.
I think Laura is right on the therapist part, have you seen one! I personally would have to if I were going through that.
I went through a m/c at 5 weeks and that was devastating enough, I dont know what I would do if I went through your situation.
Stay strong and hang in there. Everything works itself out and just keep your spirits up!
I am SO sorry that you had to go through that.
I think Laura is right on the therapist part, have you seen one! I personally would have to if I were going through that.
I went through a m/c at 5 weeks and that was devastating enough, I dont know what I would do if I went through your situation.
Stay strong and hang in there. Everything works itself out and just keep your spirits up!
I am not sure. I am sooo sorry for your loss..
Have you been to a therapist? They may be able to help you with this incredibly emotional challenge in your life.
((Hugs))
Have you been to a therapist? They may be able to help you with this incredibly emotional challenge in your life.
((Hugs))
i'm sorry to leave such a childish comment earlier... i guess im gettin confused due to my irregular menses(still no period now).. i tried so hard to pull myself together whenever i read someone gets preg after much hurdles... i hope i get tru it and get preg soon..
yes i choose to end my pregnancy as my baby was diagnosed wif NTD & massive water retention in the brain(extremely little or no brain cell), y is it my baby?
y am i pregnant, happy for a short 4 months,as i only noe im preg when i was 5 wks, did not m/c but had to make me induced to labour & nvr hear my baby cry.. y does it happens to me..
yes i choose to end my pregnancy as my baby was diagnosed wif NTD & massive water retention in the brain(extremely little or no brain cell), y is it my baby?
y am i pregnant, happy for a short 4 months,as i only noe im preg when i was 5 wks, did not m/c but had to make me induced to labour & nvr hear my baby cry.. y does it happens to me..
Please dont think that no one cares on here. We all care.
Like Laura, I also so not know what a therapeutic abortion is, to me, it makes it sound like you chose to have an abortion. Maybe you mean miscarriage?
Sometimes posts can be confusing and when none of us have the right knowledge to give you, it is better of left alone.
Trust me, we all care deeply and are here for one another when anyone needs someone.
I am sorry for your loss.
Like Laura, I also so not know what a therapeutic abortion is, to me, it makes it sound like you chose to have an abortion. Maybe you mean miscarriage?
Sometimes posts can be confusing and when none of us have the right knowledge to give you, it is better of left alone.
Trust me, we all care deeply and are here for one another when anyone needs someone.
I am sorry for your loss.
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