This would have been my due date week, it hurts so bad.

[babydream2008]

Hello,

I don’t know if any of you remember me, but I lost my baby in November.  It was a missed miscarriage and I had to have a D&C.  This week would have been my due date week and I’m having a very hard time dealing with it.  

A lot has happened since I lost the baby.  I dumped the 8 year relationship loser who started cheating on me in December because he could wait for me to recover from the D&C.  I had the feeling he was but blocked it out because all I really wanted was to get pregnant again.  He confessed in March and it’s been over since.  I’ve also been diagnosed with PCOS and I’m being treated for it now so if I ever meet the right person I will be able to have children.

I’ve held it together up until know, I’m an emotional wreck, all I want to do is sleep and cry.  I know that losing the baby was for the best considering the out come of our relationship and the way he treated me when I got pregnant and when lost the baby.  But it still hurts so much to know that I would have been a mom this week.  I know I’ll make an excellent mom, it the only dream I have.

For those of you that have had a loss does the pain fade?  My heart hurts so badly.

[babydream2008]

Thank you all for your comments.  Its helps to hear from women that have been through this pain and things will get better.  No one around me seems to understand how I feel, they keep saying I'm better off the man was a loser and I would have been a single mom. Which is true but not the point.  I allowed my self to cry last night it seemed to help but I'm still walking around with an empty heart.  Left wondering what could have been.

[mommato4]

I'm so sorry for your pain. I was an emotional wreck as well. June will be my second due date from two m.c. I will be sad as well. You also have more to deal with . Which can be a double whammy. Just hang in  there it does get better i promise. Just know that God has plans for your life , you may not like it or accept it. But know he knows whats best. Hope you the best.

[Nadia77]

one more thing to add, up until before getting pregnant again, I did not forget my loss for a day, it was in my head every day, but since my pregnancy this has changed and I am looking forward to my baby and being so focused that has made me somehow remember my loss much less.

[Nadia77]

Iam sorry you are going through this,  maybe some time before you get pregnant again (with the right man) is what you need. I suffred a missed miscarriage in 2006 and effected me so bad and didnt want to go through the same thing again! until I became pregnant again unplanned... I am 5 months pregnant now.. Believe me everything happes for a reason and god will bless you with lovely children and all this will be part of the history and your past. Best of luck and stay strong and you should be fine...

[irrelevance]

I am so sorry.. I really hope that one day, despite your PCOS and the difficulty that lays ahead, you will find the strength that I know is inside you to come out of this with your head held high. And may you one day find a true and honest man to treat you right, to love and be loved by, to raise a baby of your own with. You will be given that opportunity again one day, you just have to be strong in order to get there. I wish you the best in your future. I know I can hope that you will feel better soon, but grief is something that is dealt with, with time.
-HUGS-

[Jame0223]

I know how you feel. I just past my due date the first week of this month. Its hurts tremendously...I would give anything to have my baby back and lots of women on here already are pregnant again by the time their due dates roll around...but not me. I have been having some relationship trouble this week too. I don't know what's going to happen. I would have became a mother right before mother's day. Its very hard to deal with but after time you seem to think about it less. I miscarried in Sept. I still think about my baby daily...but you just have to think that its in a better place and you will see it again someday. And you will get the chance to have another baby as soon as the right time comes around. Good luck hun

[ftogirl]

I am so sorry you're having to go through all of this.  When I came back to my due date after my m/c it was difficult for me, too.  I had bad anxiety issues and even thought I was developing heart problems which was really just the panic/anxiety/emotional stress.  But yes, you do pull through it and it turns into a soft place in your heart and a sadness that you can deal with.  Hang in there- things will turn around for the better for you!