VENT. im going crazy!

[emeryg]

Okay ever since my first relationship at 15 years old it really messed with me.. bad. I was abused told lies, a bunch of them. And at the immature age I was still so little I believed anything I heard cause I guess its what I wanted to hear and it made me happya and feel loved. He had a tattoo of my name and told girls it was his daughters name which was a lie. He'd cheat all the time and have kids else where. Well after 2 years yes it took me that long till I finally Got fed up and had the guts to leave my feelings were numb. And now that I'm with this awesome guy it makes me happy but that past guy ruined me I don't believe anyone now I treat this good guy I'm with that treats my child like its his I treat him like he's the cheater and abuser I treat him how I shoyldve treated the first guy I can trust now I think everythings a lie and I think nothing last I view life badly now and I don't want to livelike this I'm paranoid I'm scared ill get hurt and go through the same exact thing again.

[taianasmum]

I know it's so hard. If he is doing everything right by you and you still feel that way. . I would suggest going to counseling to help you resolve your issues. I truly know how you feel. After 3 yrs of resentment I start counseling tomorrow. It's tough being a women let alone an abused mother. It's hard to move passed it but it's important for your relationship to grow. Try it. Good luck :-)

[emeryg]

thank you guys, touched my heart! I really do try changing for him because he doesn't deserve it I treat him like if he was the cheater and abuser and he's never done a thing but stick by my side and be there for not only me but my daughter as well as my family everyone loves him and everyone my own family tells me I need to really bite my tounge and not go crazy over nothing just cause paranoia and to pick which fights to fight not some little stupid thing. It's hitting me harder to days ago he told me to call everything off and give him the ring back he said I'm tired of being seen as someone I'm not when all I do is care for you and you just treat me like I'm your ex. And that killed me, its not called off btw he was just fed up because I treat him horrible:( I don't mean to though.. I'm driving him away. I feel it and I don't like it cause he's such an amazing person. Idk know how to let go of what the past did to my mind. I can't believe its still stuck on me I'm gonna be 19 soon yes still young but this is when I was 15and my minds still screwed up from what happen!?

[elivya]

After a relationship or even an experience like that it is really hard to trust again. It will be something you are never going to get over, it may push your partner away 'cause of the way your treating him, he doesnt deserve it and neither did you but you can't put all the blame and hate on your new man. He wasn't the one who treated you like dirt and you dont have the right to give back what you went through.  You need to leave your ex in the past and see your present/future for who they are. He shouldget a chance to prove himself. Dont ever forget what your ex did to you, always be prepared for bad times. You had that experience and now you will notice if and when this man is treating you wrong. I know negative thoughts come and you vcan't help but believe his doing wrong by you but try your best to give him a chance, if he is doing wrong you will know and you will know to leave, I don't believe you will go through all that hurt again because once you see a man treating you wrong yoj now know what your worth and you won't let them walk all over you. I know its extremely hard, take your time and go day by day with trying your best to give this guy a little trust, things will get easier once you realise who he really is. Best of luck, im also sorry you had to experience such disloyalty at such a young age.

[MamaBear96]

I was in the same situation. I treated him like crap for about 10 months before I actually started changing. What woke me up was he was a good guy & I knew it. I knew he was one of a kind and there weren't many good guys out there so I had to get passed what I went through, or lose a guy that truly loves me. It took me awhile to change cuz I had a wall up from the previous guy & he had to prove to me I was worth it & he was in it for the long run before I let my guard down. He dealt with my crap & insecurites, showed he loved me by sticking by me through thick & thin & he deserved a good woman so I took it step by step. I'm still in the process of changing but we don't argue as much & he's patient with me. Itll take you some time but try to hold yourself back and stop thinking of the negative things. I was unhappy for so long bc of it & it was bc of me not him. Change for him. That'll prove you love him & prove he's worth changing for. Try talking to him about it. Maybe he can help & then hell understand. I'm telling you from my experience. Good luck

[Aubree23]

Yu have to let go and forgive yourself and your ex if not you drive this man away. When you have someone that is treating you well take it and run with it. Somethings are not always to good to be true.  Pray on the situation.