Aa
Venting about my MIL
So my husband, our two kids (5 years and 3 months) went to hubbi's parents for dinner and his brother and sister in law were there with their son.
I didnt even get through the door for a minute and she took my baby out of my arms. My sister in law asked if she can hold my baby at the time time i had my son on tummy time on the floor and i said sure i asked if she wanted me to pick him up for her (she's 38 weeks prego) so fine but when the MIL Saw Amanda (SIL) holding baby she got all grumpy and said "you shouldn't be holding him it may be to hard for your belly" and took my son away from her. I was p.i.s.s.e.d i had a headache, i pulled my arm muscle and now she won't let anyone hold my baby she wouldn't even let me change him she said its "her house she can do what she wants" well thats when the s.h.i.t hit the fan
And Sean (hubby) knew i was P.Oed and was gunna have my two cent in.
he didn't stand up to his mom which upset me.
But closer to when we were leaving she was like "i hope you had a nice visit with us" and all i could say or even think off was "it could have gone a lot better than it did." Then she asked to talk to me in the room thats what freaked me out.
She asked "do you not appreciate what i do for you" i responded with "i do but when you take my son out of my arms and won't let anyone hold MY son thats when theres a problem last i checked i gave birth to him, i went through together 1.5 hours of labor so really maybe you shouldn't act like this" and she them told my hubby i was swearing at her. (I never swear at anyone)
Sorry for the long message.
I didnt even get through the door for a minute and she took my baby out of my arms. My sister in law asked if she can hold my baby at the time time i had my son on tummy time on the floor and i said sure i asked if she wanted me to pick him up for her (she's 38 weeks prego) so fine but when the MIL Saw Amanda (SIL) holding baby she got all grumpy and said "you shouldn't be holding him it may be to hard for your belly" and took my son away from her. I was p.i.s.s.e.d i had a headache, i pulled my arm muscle and now she won't let anyone hold my baby she wouldn't even let me change him she said its "her house she can do what she wants" well thats when the s.h.i.t hit the fan
And Sean (hubby) knew i was P.Oed and was gunna have my two cent in.
he didn't stand up to his mom which upset me.
But closer to when we were leaving she was like "i hope you had a nice visit with us" and all i could say or even think off was "it could have gone a lot better than it did." Then she asked to talk to me in the room thats what freaked me out.
She asked "do you not appreciate what i do for you" i responded with "i do but when you take my son out of my arms and won't let anyone hold MY son thats when theres a problem last i checked i gave birth to him, i went through together 1.5 hours of labor so really maybe you shouldn't act like this" and she them told my hubby i was swearing at her. (I never swear at anyone)
Sorry for the long message.
Hold**
No i said she won't let anyone home my son including my sister in law.
And I'll try but i dont think it'll work
And I'll try but i dont think it'll work
COMMUNITY LEADER
You don't have to fight. That's what I'm trying to tell you. I thought you said that she does this to your sister in law that is pregnant as well. Anyway, just try what I say above. be in control of your life and just smile at her and set your boundary. good luck
Ya but idk why she's only like this with me her other 2 kids have children of their own but it's only my husband and i she's doing this to and i just dont like fighting unless i have to
COMMUNITY LEADER
Well, just keep making your plans. Communicate with your mom so that if she gets a message, your mom knows to call you first before responding. And allow her to pout when you do 'your' thing. This is a boundary issue. she sounds quite zealous, overly so and yes, that is annoying. You really do have the power. plan your son's birthday (is this your 5 year old) and tell her the plans. Invite her. But you plan it and give her the details. If she pouts, then let her pout. That is 'her' problem at that point. You go on about your business. If she is mad that your mom does something for your child, that again is HER problem. If she manipulates through anger, then just don't be manipulated. A simple "I was so thankful my mom did that. We thought it was really nice of her." and then don't discuss it with her anymore. If she goes on some kind of tirade or pouts or acts babylike about it, let her. You don't have to go along with her, let her be a baby by herself. And she is clearly very invested with you so she's not really going to walk away. So, don't worry that she thinks you don't want her in your lives. As long as you aren't rude with her, then she can never say that!
My mother in law was tough and dominated a couple of my sister in laws. She attempted with me---- I just did my own thing with a smile on my face. my mother in law accepted that I ran my own ship and she could jump on the ship sometimes but she'd never be allowed in the control room (corny analogy). But I never had words with her. I never told her off.
My sister in law on the other hand wrote her a letter listing what she was doing wrong and they never got over it.
I just think you can set a boundary without burning a bridge.
Be in control of your ship with a smile on your face. good luck
My mother in law was tough and dominated a couple of my sister in laws. She attempted with me---- I just did my own thing with a smile on my face. my mother in law accepted that I ran my own ship and she could jump on the ship sometimes but she'd never be allowed in the control room (corny analogy). But I never had words with her. I never told her off.
My sister in law on the other hand wrote her a letter listing what she was doing wrong and they never got over it.
I just think you can set a boundary without burning a bridge.
Be in control of your ship with a smile on your face. good luck
She doesnt listen to me at all specialmom i try to stand my ground and she takes it a whole new level she already stated she doesnt want my mother to help me out at all. And she even messaged my mom saying she's taking my boys this weekend when i told her my mom is taking then to their ranch. She doesnt listen to anyone and when her son (my husband) tries to talk to she just assumes we dont like her in our life. She also got mad when my mom bought my baby a exersaucer and a crib and she got mad at me for already planning my sons bday party for April vause aparently its her job to do that what my son doesnt like most of the stuff she plans out.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Honestly, you sound like you need a good nights sleep to me. These are kind of petty things to be mad at. An excited mother in law who wanted to hold her baby right away?? Then saying to someone about to have a baby that she shouldn't hold the baby is a little weird but why would you be P. Issed? That is an overreaction. To me, you sound tired and easily agitated.
She may think she is helping with the stopping over. If you don't want her to, then be bold and say "hey, the next two days are not good for your stopping by but you can come over Wednesday." And then on Wednesday when she is there, you can say "tomorrow isn't good but you can come back on Friday if you want." Then you are in control. And you can say you won't be home until X time. I'm sure your 5 year old has things going on that you leave the house for so that is probably legit.
Make your best effort to get along with her. Doesn't mean you have to do what she wants all the time or see her every day but being agitated is a waste of your valuable energy. Unless she is doing something really evil, just set appropriate boundaries and try to get along. Don't call her crazy or get amped up with your sister in law over disliking her. She is the mother of your partner, ya know? That DOES deserve some respect unless she is doing something hurtful (and wanting to visit the baby and hold him isn't hateful in my opinion.) I read a lot of stories here regarding mother in laws and some are completely out of line. Yours sounds pretty mild. good luck
She may think she is helping with the stopping over. If you don't want her to, then be bold and say "hey, the next two days are not good for your stopping by but you can come over Wednesday." And then on Wednesday when she is there, you can say "tomorrow isn't good but you can come back on Friday if you want." Then you are in control. And you can say you won't be home until X time. I'm sure your 5 year old has things going on that you leave the house for so that is probably legit.
Make your best effort to get along with her. Doesn't mean you have to do what she wants all the time or see her every day but being agitated is a waste of your valuable energy. Unless she is doing something really evil, just set appropriate boundaries and try to get along. Don't call her crazy or get amped up with your sister in law over disliking her. She is the mother of your partner, ya know? That DOES deserve some respect unless she is doing something hurtful (and wanting to visit the baby and hold him isn't hateful in my opinion.) I read a lot of stories here regarding mother in laws and some are completely out of line. Yours sounds pretty mild. good luck
My parents used to be like this with me and my son i had him at 19 and i would just say my son my rules you don't like it we will go home and you can come to our hose to see us!!
Ya but the thing with not answering the door i always watch my neighbors daughter while she's at work and she doesnt have a cell phone to text and her husband doesnt want a land line so when i hear the door i answer it cause it might be my neighbor. But if my MIL comes over today I'll try and be nice but may not be so nice. And i also told my mom what happened and she was just like "well you are more then welcome to come to the farm and spend the weekend and take a break from her" and my parents farm is in the middle of no where and they ha e my horses so i mean i can always go for a horseback ride. And my mom adores her grandbabies. But my mom knows everything about my MIL and my mom is tempted to call her and tell her off for me. But I'll see if she comes today. She wasnt to impressed with me last night
I would stop answering the door, she could just hang out in the yard by herself. Or not be home when she came, why not take a few days abd go visit with your mom while hubby is at work? Be sure not to tell her of your plans though.
I made a no call no admittance policy to my house. I informed everyone they had to call first before coming or I would not answer the door. My family all called but his acted like they did not have to do I left them standing outside. His mom even made the comment she did not need to call because it is her sons house. News flash I pay the bills her son don't work. I did not open the door she got mad and said she was filing for grandparents rights (the thing they sometimes allow when one parent is dead and the other has cut off rights to the dead parents family). I asked her if she planned to kill her son also. She was just stupid plain stupid. I had to finally put my foot down but glad to be rid of her. I found a better neighborhood with better schools then found me a good job and said I just had to move and my husband was free to move in with his family that me and the kids had to go because it was better for us. My plan was to leave him there because I could not take his family no more. He took it as we were moving and started telling everyone about our great move. No one knows where we are and I kinda feel like it is witness protection hiding our whereabouts, it is definitely worth the peace from his family.
I made a no call no admittance policy to my house. I informed everyone they had to call first before coming or I would not answer the door. My family all called but his acted like they did not have to do I left them standing outside. His mom even made the comment she did not need to call because it is her sons house. News flash I pay the bills her son don't work. I did not open the door she got mad and said she was filing for grandparents rights (the thing they sometimes allow when one parent is dead and the other has cut off rights to the dead parents family). I asked her if she planned to kill her son also. She was just stupid plain stupid. I had to finally put my foot down but glad to be rid of her. I found a better neighborhood with better schools then found me a good job and said I just had to move and my husband was free to move in with his family that me and the kids had to go because it was better for us. My plan was to leave him there because I could not take his family no more. He took it as we were moving and started telling everyone about our great move. No one knows where we are and I kinda feel like it is witness protection hiding our whereabouts, it is definitely worth the peace from his family.
Ya she comes over every day when he's at work doesnt call to ask me if she can she just stops by and stays until 5 and my husband gets home at 5:30 so I'm basically alone with my kids from 11-1 and the rest she's here and when she's here she says "im here to baby sit so you can have a nap." I was like "uh no i have house work to do so you dont have to stay." And she was like "then I'll take the boys to my house cause chemicals aren't good for the kids" and i use kid safe cleaning products so the kids arent in harms way.
She just.. i don't even know what to call her.
She just.. i don't even know what to call her.
I would move closer to your mom, his mom sounds like she is quite a few cards short of a full deck. I would be a little afraid to leave my children with her. I would honestly tell him unless he wants a long drive he needs to control his mother. She has no right to force herself or her opinions on you and she must give you your space.
Ya the only reason we moved close to her is cause of his job we used to live an hour away but he was tired of driving 2 hours a day for 6 days a week. And the city we're in is SMALL. But I'm trying to persuade my husband to move 2 hours away so we can have a new beginning cause i told him last night. "If you want me to start getting along with your mother then tell her not to treat my son as her son. She had her kids and she is not raising my kids" and he was upset but he came around but he's afraid to talk to her.
My mom is nothing like his.
And to make it worse his mom has 5 grandkids (2 from my hubby and i, 2 from his brother and sister inlaw, and 1 from his sister and brother in law) and my mom just has 2 and that my 2 kids. Its like she doesnt trust me cause she's not like that with the other kids.
My mom is nothing like his.
And to make it worse his mom has 5 grandkids (2 from my hubby and i, 2 from his brother and sister inlaw, and 1 from his sister and brother in law) and my mom just has 2 and that my 2 kids. Its like she doesnt trust me cause she's not like that with the other kids.
Mil are crazy, I am lucky I moved 600 miles away from her and refuse to let her know where I live or have any contact with her. My husband agreed it was best and my children and I have not had any contact with her in over three years.
I know i just hate fighting with people
Yer sometimes u need to stand ground even if they hate u its my son and I should name him watever I want its gard but we need to put our happiness before others even if u lose that respect u gain a right and feel stronger about urself x
Ya his mom and sister are crazy
Ummmmm WTF! ? how insanely crazy is that? restraining order for "stealing" her not even concieved childs name. Wow. That takes the cake
Awe ya. My sister in law (hubbys sister) shes crazy to. Like with his family i don't want to be around them. His brother and dad seems to be the only "normal" ones. My mom is even afraid of his mom and sister. When i had my son his sister kept saying the name Jaxon was her name that i stole it she put a restraining order against me cause of that and she doesnt even have a son or and shes not even pregnant. I'm here for you ladies if you wanna talk.
Awesome thank you! And Leah I remember your post! I'm so happy you stood your ground babe xx
Its ok I have a ctaxy one too she says im a lier and manpulates people because I wanteda name she didnt like xavier alexander brown and now she has turn her family against me and says I have made her family this way ; (
Ya sounds like it lol. Its crazy i dont know why we have to put up with the crazies in the husbands part of the family. Cause my mom was this way with my grandmother (her MIL)
Its so sad. I'm here if you want to talk. Here's my email
Cassiharding14 @ gmail. Com
Its so sad. I'm here if you want to talk. Here's my email
Cassiharding14 @ gmail. Com
Our mils must be twins!! Seriously lol we're about to have our 3rd talk to my MIL because she HAS to have our son every weekend. She had him last weekend, my dad had him this (which she also asked for him again) and she's asked for him the very next weekend saying my son has forgotten about her! ! Ffs
She drives me crazy. And she got mad cause i got my mom and dad to watch my kids for a night so my husband can go to my friends bday party. She found out and said "i dont know why you got Cassi's parents to watch the boys when I live a block away" and sean was like "well we were close to their house anyways" and she was like "well i want ro watch them" (she spoils my baby, we hive him tummy time for 30-45 minutes 5 times a day we let him self-sooth, and dont give him much attention unless needed baby is very independent) and she thinks thats "bad" parenting.
You are reading content posted in the Pregnancy Relationships Community
Get information and tips on how to help you choose the right place to deliver your baby.
Get the facts on how twins and multiples are formed and your chance of carrying more than one baby at a time.
Learn about the risks and benefits of circumcision.
What to expect during the first hours after delivery.
Learn about early screening and test options for your pregnancy.
Learn about testing and treatment for GBS bacterium.
