Aa
anyone else?? hard times :(
Just found out my baby daddy is going to jail but we are not sure for how long...he says if they do give him the two full years he wont be mad if I move on and that me and the baby deserve better I love him with all my heart and im willing to wait for him but he says he doesnt want me to he doesnt want me to hurt...just need some support in this im trying not to stress but it is a very stressful situation....what do I do??? Even if he gets two years I will not move on I dont want just anybody in my babys life
I agree the other two have nothing going for them not even working...he has a baby on the way and his friend who is mainly going down for it cuz everything is in his name as well he has a baby on the way to his own business they ruined there life for one stupid choice..thank you im deff trying to
COMMUNITY LEADER
Oh, that's really hard. I'm loyal to family as well but it is hard when he loses out on being with his baby and derails his things like future jobs. It's pretty cruddy of his friends and brother to let him do that for them while his life suffers when he has a child on the way. I guess just make the best of it all. Hang in there.
Yea I dont want to be the one to make that choice its not an easy choice to make but I dont stress dont want my baby suffering for this no he wont give them up his to loyal to them and one of them is his brother
COMMUNITY LEADER
Is there any way he can give up the names of his friends? Now that he has a child coming, the baby should be more important than protecting them and perhaps he can make a plea. THAT is in the best interest of his child. Might be time for him to make those kinds of choices rather than putting it on you to make a choice. Ya know?
I do agree I feel he puts his friends first..this is his first child as well and he says as much as he wants to be involved maybe the baby is better off without him I think about it alot its not just me anymore I have to look out for my baby and do whats best for him or her my concern can not be a man and his foolish choices as much as I love him hes giving me a chance to do whats best for my baby and I dont want that to ruin my babys future because of his choices because of love the love I have for my child is more then I will love any man...its very hard I have alot of thinking to do...my worry ladies is that when I do make my choice and if I decide not to have him in the picture what happens when he gets out and wants to be apart of my babies life if that happens what if when my child is older blames me for not knowing his or her real father im so torn ladies and you have no idea how much talking and getting advice is helping me
I agree with the others, and I want to add that I think he's being extremely foolish. It isn't admirable to cover for criminals - it's admirable when you cover for persecuted innocent people.
He's taking the fall for this fraud, and his friends are letting him hang. If he would get a much lesser sentence - maybe even reduced to misdemeanor charges for naming them, he needs to do it.
Being a convicted felon is a life wrecker. He won't be able to get a decent job, he won't be able to rent respectable housing, the door slams shut in the face of people convicted of a felony.
He's being silly to toss his life away for those cohorts in crime, and he's going to take you down with him for his sense of misplaced loyalty to them.
He's taking the fall for this fraud, and his friends are letting him hang. If he would get a much lesser sentence - maybe even reduced to misdemeanor charges for naming them, he needs to do it.
Being a convicted felon is a life wrecker. He won't be able to get a decent job, he won't be able to rent respectable housing, the door slams shut in the face of people convicted of a felony.
He's being silly to toss his life away for those cohorts in crime, and he's going to take you down with him for his sense of misplaced loyalty to them.
Oh dear, those are some SERIOUS allegations.
Honey, I know you want to stand by your man, and who knows, he truly MAY not be a bad guy....but this is going to be one heck of a burden, on you AND your child. Just at least prepare yourself for some very very rough times ahead sweetie.
Also, with big charges like that, you have to think how his legal problems and criminal history will affect your every day lives, both while he's incarcerated, and after he's released.
I wish you the very best...and I encourage you to talk to someone that you trust and who would give you the best advice...NOT just what they THINK you want to hear. It's a tough situation, remain open minded, okay?
Honey, I know you want to stand by your man, and who knows, he truly MAY not be a bad guy....but this is going to be one heck of a burden, on you AND your child. Just at least prepare yourself for some very very rough times ahead sweetie.
Also, with big charges like that, you have to think how his legal problems and criminal history will affect your every day lives, both while he's incarcerated, and after he's released.
I wish you the very best...and I encourage you to talk to someone that you trust and who would give you the best advice...NOT just what they THINK you want to hear. It's a tough situation, remain open minded, okay?
thank you ladies it really does Help talking about it and he did this Before we got Together young and dumb type of thing he helped his friend do Something Stupid insurance fraud is what they are trying to get him for and organized crime Because he wont give up the names of the other two guys...hes not a bad guy he really is a great guy but now paying for his choices and yes I told Him That even if he doesnt want me to wait that Doesnt mean im gana move on my only Concern is my baby this is my first baby so I will have my hands full and being a Single mom dating is the last thing on my mind...thats my plan just see where im at when the time comes he might not even do the full 2 years this is his first time ever being in trouble
I agree that you don't need to make any decision about it now. Your feelings could change at any time over those 2 years and the answer may become very clear after a while. Just concentrate on your kids and live your life and I'm sure the answer will make itself clear to you eventually without you even having to agonize about it.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi there. Well, I'm sure it is scary. Prison is one of those things that is out of one's true control. We can quit a job, move, break up with someone --- all in our control but if we've broken a law and are sentenced to prison time, that's it. They go to prison no matter what they had going on in their personal life. That feeling of out of control is terrible.
What was his crime? I do always worry when someone is living a lifestyle that is going to make them do years in prison hon. Maybe in the long run it will help him pick a better path for himself. I hope so.
No one can tell you what to do. I think you'll be so busy with a newborn and then toddler on your own that dating anyone else is unlikely anyway. You may end up 'waiting' for him over the two years anyway. I think it is really hard to date with a baby. But there is also a chance that feelings for him will change over the two years. This happens. Time will tell.
So, you don't really have to make a decision on this. Just see how life plays out. But I know you are sad at being away from him. That's hard as you also worry about your baby. Hang in there.
What was his crime? I do always worry when someone is living a lifestyle that is going to make them do years in prison hon. Maybe in the long run it will help him pick a better path for himself. I hope so.
No one can tell you what to do. I think you'll be so busy with a newborn and then toddler on your own that dating anyone else is unlikely anyway. You may end up 'waiting' for him over the two years anyway. I think it is really hard to date with a baby. But there is also a chance that feelings for him will change over the two years. This happens. Time will tell.
So, you don't really have to make a decision on this. Just see how life plays out. But I know you are sad at being away from him. That's hard as you also worry about your baby. Hang in there.
Thank you so much its nice getting someone's opinion on this...he does want the best for me and is an amazing guy just so much going on in his mind...and im sorry about your husband my friend went through that hardest thing she did her husband didnt hold there baby till she was two weeks old but they are as happy as can be I believe your right absence makes the heart grow fonder
I'm sorry to hear that he won't be around. He sounds like a good guy tryi g to make sure your happy. But if you're happy with not seeing or being with someone else then thats your choice. I've always believed that absence makes the heart grow fonder. It's not going to be easy, thats for sure, but you just gotta do what you gotta do.
Right now my husband is unsure if he will be deploying before our baby is here, and granite the thought of having someone here to "comfort" me is out of the question, its still going to be hard if it does happen. Good luck to you.
Right now my husband is unsure if he will be deploying before our baby is here, and granite the thought of having someone here to "comfort" me is out of the question, its still going to be hard if it does happen. Good luck to you.
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Relationships Community
How do you keep things safer between the sheets? We explore your options.
Can HIV be transmitted through this sexual activity? Dr. Jose Gonzalez-Garcia answers this commonly-asked question.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
